What? Suna's Not Knitting?

Holiday Hello

2011-12-28T19:00:00.000-06:00

I have thought about posting here many times in the past few months. This year has been the kind of series of events that is hard to write down and hope to make any sense whatsoever. The ups have been very high and he downs very low. Since I am someone who dwells most comfortably in the "neutral" range, that means it's been rough on my fascinating collection of issues. Perhaps the most interesting discovery that I have made is that when things get unexpectedly better than I ever expected them to be...trying to figure out what to do about it is really stressful! Of course, I can learn to cope!

Holiday Stuff

First, let me share with any of you still reading this blog my little piece of holiday cheer--the kids playing music together for Lee's dad.

They had never played together before, but I sure hope they do it again. We spent Christmas with Lee's dad, who is dealing with some bad health issues. We have been visiting there at least monthly since we got Ursula the RV (he values his privacy, so staying in the trailer is a real invasion of space). I have grown to really enjoy the visits--it is fun watching Lee's dad enjoy his fancy new tractor and watching Lee and his nephew, who has been mostly staying in the area since Lee's dad has needed someone around these past few months, do stuff with each other. The farm has become a lot more organized, and a lot more fun.

For example, when there was a scary brush fire caused by a welding spark, a bunny got injured by the tractor. Lee's dad has been caring for it for a couple of months. It has really grown!

Bun Bun wishing it had more of that gourmet lettuce Suna brings

They lost half the hay crop that had just been baled, but saved the buildings! Yeah, stuff like this happened all year. But fun also happened. I got to play with the cows. Of course, the friendliest two are now someone's dinner. But one bull calf did get to become a Daddy Bull at a friend's farm. More cows are coming, too.

He was a sweetie pie.

I got a real Stetson hat. That is because it's the only thing that doesn't blow off in the heavy winds, and I can't see without a hat, due to my hair growing out. I look very official, don't I?

Why I Have So Much Western Gear and More Ups and Downs

I said there were ups and downs this year. Maybe it will be easier to just enumerate things. Then move on.

1. Jobs. I really loved working in the small office with the wonderful view and the wonderful coworkers and the wonderful lunches together. However, I did not love never knowing if there was actually something to do on any given week. When people began to leave, I decided to stop ignoring all those calls about other jobs and go for them. I had turned down one job this time last year, and resolved to not repeat that. I told myself I would take the first thing that came up, even a contract. There seem to be more jobs out there now, so I had more confidence I could find something else. So, I took a job at Dell. The pay was most excellent, and I learned about Agile Project Management and Oracle products. However, in the entire time I was there, no one ever said "hello" or "goodbye," or asked me how I was doing. I was spoken to about work and that's it (they were perfectly nice and very smart people, but sitting in a cubicle staring at a 200 page technical document with no breaks was more than a little tedious). So, I kept applying for "real" jobs and ended up having two offers at the same time--one for the job I didn't take last year and another very similar job that had more training to it. It was hard to decide, since the people were nice at both places, and while the second one paid more, the first one was much closer to home. I decided I would lose all that extra money in gas and traffic sitting hours, so I took the first position as contract to hire. Hip, hip, hooray they actually liked me and I am now full time there. It's a really nice company with good ethics, and I am doing better than I thought I would at doing nothing but making one e-learning module after another. They do let me do a bit of editing, too. So, ups and downs, yes, but it has ended on a big up. The people are fun, and I have made more good friends!

2. Life and Death. After a truly wonderful 80th birthday party, I hugged and hugged my dad before I left. I am glad I did, because 5 weeks later, his best friend died at the wheel of the truck he was driving. Dad was the middle passenger. They veered straight into Interstate traffic. The next two weeks were unbearably difficult. I went to NC and stayed as long as I could with him in ICU. That was horrendous. Since people read this, I will omit some of the reasons, but it is sufficient to say that emergencies bring out the worst in some people, and Dad married into that kind of family. Dad's funeral was not quite as bad, because I had my wonderful husband and kids with me, and my wonderful husband did a great job easing things for everyone. The ensuing issues with wills, property and other stuff were difficult, but my brother did a good job executoring. Hopefully at some point the remaining little bit of bucks in Dad's checking accounts will be taken out and that will be over with. Sigh. I cannot tell you how much I miss my dad. There are a lot of things that come up internally when something like this happens!

Dad's 80th Birthday

And it hasn't stopped. There have been some deaths of friends' family members that have been very sad, too. But, it's a part of life, and most of the time I bear that in mind and do OK.

3. Spirituality. The church I have attended for well over a decade continues to be a big ole source of stress, strife and difficulty. There are also good parts, which is why I have so much trouble separating myself. I guess it is a good thing we spend so much time camping, farming and ranching these days--being in nature settles my soul much better than crabby infighting ministers, power plays, political maneuvering and public displays of all of the above! They way people have treated fellow church members in the past few months appalls me. Much like how people on different ends of the political spectrum just say awful stuff about each other. Why on EARTH do that? These are your friends who have a different perspective from yours, not enemies. I have tried really, really hard to listen to everyone, act according to my conscience, and plug away, but it is very, very hard. I had loved singing in the rock group, but the leader moved away, and while choir is OK it is no longer much of a challenge--I feel like more of a hindrance than a help there these days (to be proactive, I have rejoined the choir I sang with a few times years ago, and hope that will be a fun experience over the next few weeks.)

Fun with Funkatonic

4. Windfalls. There have been opportunities opened up for us that we never foresaw, thanks to the concept of "mineral rights." Trying to figure out what to do with unexpected income? Save! But, savings have no interest nowadays. So, we are planning to invest in a place to retire to, part of a lovely ranch. We go there often. I hope to share more photos when we start making improvements.

Ranch, looking toward woods.

I love looking at the birds around the tanks (ponds), wandering in the woods, and exploring the fields. The place feels good. That's what counts. Obviously we are still working, so we won't be moving anywhere for some years, but it will be great to have a place to retreat to. I need it. The world is such a contentious, unpleasant place these days. I can cope better with some "hermit time."

There is more, way more. But at least I have sort of caught up on this year. Next year I hope will be calmer, with more travel (RV and otherwise) and fun with friends and family. Because for sure, friends and family are what counts most. It's been a transition period for friends, but the ones who remain are treasured all the more, and I feel fondness for the good times with those who have moved on to new adventures!

Summer of No Moisture

2011-06-26T13:58:00.000-05:00

We are going through a really bad drought here in the middle of Texas, even as so many people are dealing with so much rain and flooding elsewhere. The inch or two of rain we got last week was the first in many weeks, and it doesn't appear that more is on the way. Temperatures have also been very, very high for days on end. Temperatures like 104-106 day after day. That cannot be good for plants.

Yet, I went for a walk around the block yesterday, after it got down into the almost-bearable 90s. I passed yard after yard with perfectly manicured, green lawns. There were two or three that looked barely green and with some brown on the edges (like mine). But I was surprised at how well watered everyone's plants appeared to be. And to be honest, I haven't been hearing the usual exhortations to conserve water, to water only on your designated day, etc., that I remember from previous dry spells and long droughts. I guess this is the new normal, though of course, no climate change around here. Just lots and lots of above-average hot and dry years (plus one wet one not too long ago!).

As I came back home, I realized our house looked pretty nice. For once there weren't four cars in the driveway, and the wildflowers have been mowed down. I realized the burr oak is finally taller than the house--I knew I had planted a slow-growing tree, so that's fine. The edgings ELAB has put on the flower beds look very nice. The ones on the right of the driveway are new this year. So, this is how it is during our summer of no moisture.

Our house, summer 2011. Thanks to JGT for PhotShopping out the street light pole that is really in the middle of the crape myrtle on the right.

Just a Quick Link

2011-06-19T21:29:00.001-05:00

I'll try to post more tomorrow--I will have a car repair and a crown to report on. Oooh.

But until then, I wanted to share that I did start a blog for RV fun and learning. If you would like to know more about where we go, what we see, and the (sometimes physically painful) lessons we learn, check out Lumbering along with Ursula. She'd appreciate it. Maybe she won't be so temperamental if she knows she has fans.

And to tempt you, here is a pretty picture from this past weekend.

Sunset Saturday night. Photo NOT found on other blog!

Decision

2011-06-15T20:32:00.000-05:00

I think I am going to start a new blog about driving around with the RV. I will link to it, so any of you who are interested can follow along.

I will keep this one for personal writings, which I will try to do more of these days. I think maybe it's not so overwhelming now.

So here is a picture of my dad, in honor of Father's Day coming up. He had a really crappy 2011, and lost his life in April. He was finally feeling better and hadn't counted on his friend dying at the wheel of the car he was riding in...in Interstate traffic.

I just found out I will be inheriting his car soon. Not how I wanted to become a two-MINI family.

Ethel meets Princely. Princely has been very lonely since March.

My Work Buddy (well former work, still buddy) and I were talking today about his parents and ELAB's dad and how they don't want to spend any money, even though they are quite elderly (his mom won't buy a book for the Kindle--would only want free ones). I realized that one reason I went along with the plan to buy the RV was that I I have been putting off doing fun stuff, having adventures, and seeing the world around me for a long time. Oh, I had no money in grad school. Focused on the kids and expensive trips to visit the Irish relatives when the kids were small. Was struggling to make ends meet or had no vacation as a contractor after the divorce. Well, I can take a day or two off now.

I'm still saving for the future, and not planning to go wild, but it will be nice to go relax in places I've never been before. Now's the time to enjoy my husband and my kids, while I can. Off I go. Follow me on Ursula's new blog...soon as I figure out where it will live!

Hey there

2011-06-14T20:33:00.000-05:00

I am thinking of taking this blog and using it to chronicle our trips with Ursula, our new-to-us RV. So look forward to some traveling travails.

I am still alive, by the way, though it has not been a terribly fun period. Lost a bunch of friends, lost my dad, changed to a job with no friends...but it's not all bad! Beccano managed to graduate from high school, we have a fun house guest all summer, and the house is always full of happy chatter. Not bad. And when the chatter gets too much, ELAB and I head out in Ursula.

Hey There...I'm Musing Again

2010-07-12T11:15:00.001-05:00

I haven't written much lately, because I've felt extra introverted I guess. At least I've gotten over worrying that anything I write will offend someone or be taken the wrong way. Someone on an email list with me recently wrote a long, heartfelt post about feeling like she alienates people and they just disappear, which got people postulating ideas...and it boiled down to the fact that yeah, sometimes you upset people, but sometimes it's their problem for misunderstanding just as much as it's yours for subconsciously sabotaging things. And really, what do we get out of assigning blame? Not a thing! So, enjoy this photo of a nice flower bed.

Our side yard. Lots of basil and tomatoes, plus phlox and roses. Once full of nothing. It has never looked better.

I've been dealing with a "blamer" at work lately, too, and it's caused me to see that pointing fingers at others to distract people from your own failings is really unattractive and unappealing. I am trying to apply lessons learned observing this behavior to myself, ya know, to improve. I will always have the strong urge to "explain" things--to convey my point of view (for example, that I meant a particular sentence in a kind way, even if it came out snarky, etc.). But, I need to be careful not to veer into the area of defensiveness or finger pointing. In the end, sadly, I don't think the "facts" matter all that much. People have already perceived what they are going to perceive in any situation, so the key is to figure out how to deal with is in a positive manner that encourages friendship and support.

Yow. That all sounds hard to do. Let's look at flowers

Bouquet made from the last wildflowers in our front border, plus some pretty coleus leaves.

The flower picture reminds me that I didn't write at all during our kitchen remodeling process. Yes, we have a new kitchen, thanks to Lee's oil lease. It will give us a lot of pleasure now, and I hope make the house more appealing to buyers when downsizing time comes--sooner than you might think! Here is a before and an after shot.

Kitchen before remodeling. Note wallpaper, plain counter tops, and ugly floor

Kitchen after remodeling. Note cool backsplash, granite counters, new lighting, ceramic tile floors with glass inserts.

It really was not an unpleasant process at all, thanks to having a competent contractor. I can't say what my favorite part is. Perhaps the backsplash, which is natural stone with a band of brown glass. Or it could be the faucet in the deep stainless steel sink. Mmm. Here is a close-up of the backsplash.

Sink and backsplash. I like the detachable faucet head and deep sink.

Anyone of you who hasn't already seen these photos to death can see more of the kitchen remodeling process right here! We also re-tiled the front entryway and downstairs bath, and painted the family room the same color as the kitchen. I sort of miss my pansy wallpaper, but buyers hate wallpaper. Boo hoo.

What else is going on? Lots of family time this summer, which has been great. As much as I would have liked Tuba Boy to get a job, it has been nice having him home, when he is awake. Beccano is teaching my coworker guitar, so making a little spending money. Mostly we do things together and laugh--we've been enjoying having Beccano's girlfriend around, too. She really fits in--they have been together a year now!

And I have been Driver Ed instructor for Beccano. I am pleased to report that using the clutch has finally become clear, and that he is a good driver otherwise. We just have to finish up a few more driving hours and get through all the exercises in his book, and he will have a license in time to go back to school. Of course, that means insurance. Ugh. Everything is more expensive (my portion of college is more now, too), so I sure hope I can hang on to some employment for a while longer!

Since I have not been knitting much, I have turned my fascination back to my aquarium. The poor thing had been dealing with some bad water combined with bad algae. The kids and I totally cleaned it out, saving the two remaining fish in a holding tank, and have it back up and running. I got a new and expensive biological filter, new lights, and new plants (fake). We put starter fish in (mollies and danios) and are now patiently waiting for the aquarium to "cycle," so it will be safe for more fish. That is taking a while. The consensus of the fish experts at AquaTek (go there--it is reputable and has some beautiful tanks) is that the Brushy Creek MUD water just is not good for tropical fish (as opposed to the water in Brushy Creek, which is). So, once it's all set up I will be using reverse osmosis water from the grocery store with some salts put in it. So there. I hope to heck that this week I can get a catfish and algae eater, plus a few more live-bearers to round out the school. The mollies are actually eating some of the new algae, which is good. And the algae that is forming now is "normal," not the scary kind. Fingers crossed. The new fish have now been in there a month and only one has died--a danio jumped out of the tank (glass top is on order!).

Rather than make this post un-ending, I'll close here and try to blog more soon. Say hi in the comments if you wish!

Addendum: I was thinking about what I wrote and want to be clear that the friend I refer to in the first paragraph has never said anything that offended me--in fact comes across as incredibly sweet and considerate. The things she said just led me to muse that sometimes what seems completely innocent or kind to one person can be interpreted quite differently by someone else. I was not intending to fault her. Hmm, am I over-explaining again???

Achieved My Hair Goal

2010-05-02T21:31:00.000-05:00

Since last October, when I had my friend Gina cut my hair and put some highlights in the front, I have been trying to grow out my hair to where there is only natural Suna hair, and nothing with dye on it. I think I finally got there.

In person, the more gray parts in the front look pretty cool. I had no idea I had "natural highlights." One of my coworkers said I look younger this way. Looking at those eye wrinkles makes me doubt that, but hey, they are smile lines, so that's not all bad, right?

I hope this will be the last "this is my new hair" post for a while. I think I'll keep it natural, and just grow it a bit longer. No new photos of hair will be needed!

I look a little tired, and that's because I am a little tired. I worked a lot of extra hours last week, plus I have been rehearsing for our choir service (that is over, thankfully) and another rock and roll service, plus working on fixing up our kitchen, and that sort of thing. And I am trying to teach Beccano to drive a manual shift. That isn't so easy in my car. There's just a lot going on. None of it is bad, though! There is so much good going on that I say thanks every day for the fact that things have turned around a bit!

We've been spending whatever relaxation time we have sitting on the "new" front porch and enjoying the garden. This year, the wildflower garden has the perennials in all their glory. We even had some bluebonnets!

We have two of these beds between the street and sidewalk. Right now they are mostly Indian paintbrush and black-eyed susans, but there are also some Mexican hats and horsemints. The one in the side yard has huge coriopsis (OK I can't spell it or find it in spell check) and English daisies. When the flowers are all gone, we'll just mow it, and it will look grass-ish.

Lee has put in lots of pretty things this year, and I have weeded a lot. This was the front yard a couple of weeks ago:

That front tree is the redbud, and the brown things are all its seeds. We have pulled up MANY seedlings this year. If you want a native redbud, we can set you up with one.

Here are some of the front flowers. Those pansies are about shot and are going to be replaced with some summer annuals tomorrow, we hope. But, they were sure pretty all winter. The roses are doing great, too. You can see the two by the front door. Here's our teeny miniature rose, as of today:

Next to it are the lilies from two years ago that will bloom soon. We will have to divide them next fall.

What I am not sharing photos of is the back yard. We had the huge tree back there taken down, but it looks pretty bad still. I hope that once the kitchen stuff is done we can work on getting that area looking better again. There is NO grass where the tree used to shade everything, but we don't want to put any in until we know where we are going to put a shed and another patio. So, it looks pretty icky.

I guess I have gone on and on about the garden as long as I can. It was just a great, long spring here. That is so rare. We really took advantage of it!

I should have lots to report next week. I just hope I have time to report it. Wishing whoever reads this well. I do want to say that I am thinking of quite a few people with issues in their families. You know who you are.

Ya Gotta Wonder

2010-04-19T13:44:00.000-05:00

I was just taking a walk around the wooded parking lot at work during lunchtime. I turned the corner, and there I spotted this.

The Monitor in the Woods

I had no idea the oak trees were networked. I did search Facebook, but saw no sign of "Oak Tree by Cool River Restaurant" or any similar listing. I wonder if it was blogging about oak rights? Watching YouTubes of forests in other places?

I guess I am sorta sentimental about oaks right now. I have always really loved them, so it was especially hard to give the OK to have the biggest tree in our yard taken down, the tree that is the reason our house sits slightly crookedly on the lot, the tree we bought the lot for, only to have a huge ice storm take down about half of it the next day. The tree the kids' tree house was in. Sigh. But, it completely blacked out the back yard, so only inland sea oats would grow there. We just can't get grass in once the oaks leaf out. Now we will be able to install a shed, maybe add to the patio and stick on my dream hot tub...and perhaps get some grass to grow, even though there still is a huge hedge of crepe myrtles along the fence, giving plenty of shade and privacy.

But, I will miss the tree. It will be firewood for many years to come, and the rest of it will become mulch and help other plants. We do still have 4-5 other live oaks, two Monterrey oaks and a lovely burr oak. All that on a fairly small lot (the "estate" size--the bigger ones in the neighborhood).

Otherwise, I sort of overdid things on Saturday, with exercise followed by an hour of hard weeding. I think I killed my poor legs! But, it was a fun day all in all, featuring a visit from my friend Carolyn, who picked out yarn for a shawl, and having dinner with Beccano and his girlfriend. They have been dating 8 months and that was our first dinner together. I think we all had a good time.

Things to do beckon, so I'll share any other weird stuff I see in another post!

Gonna Be Brave

2010-04-16T12:48:00.000-05:00

Things are going real well, though having work means less time to blog! I am feeling really well.

I hate it when "they" are right, but when "they" say that eating right and getting plenty of exercise makes you feel physically and mentally better...well, darn it, they are right. I've not had a soda in a long time, and no longer sweeten my coffee with Splenda, which means my intake of real AND fake sugar has plummeted. And my intake of greens and veggies has soared. Wow, I feel better.

And I have been making it to the community center around 4-5 days a week. Working late or having a lot of meetings makes it hard sometimes, but I am sticking with it, and managed to elliptical for 3 miles last weekend. That's not much for some folks, but a lot for me.

I am now trying to be brave and try new things. Lee tempts me with treats to get me to get on his motorcycle, which he has just outfitted with a snazzy luggage rack (no, really, it IS snazzy). Last weekend I got a really darling jacket and some fine motorcycle boots.

New boots and carpet in my office

That's as good as I can do with a phone and taking the photo myself! These are so incredibly comfortable. When I posted the picture on Facebook two people said they had the same ones! I can see why. I will wear these a lot in the winter as well as when and if I ever get on the bike. You see, we still have not located the style of helmet Lee thinks I should get in my size. I need vents, he says, knowing my propensity towards fainting in the heat. So, I guess tomorrow we will try again to find one. Then I will brave my fears and get on the bike, with helmet, boots, jacket and resolve!

Cuteness

2010-04-06T21:46:00.001-05:00

There's way too much nature to enjoy this time of year. Also, too much pollen, as I mentioned last time. I'll spare you photos, but just imagine a world that has a yellowish-green tint to everything, and you will have Austin during oak pollen season. Wow, this year there's really a bumper crop, too.

There's a bumper crop of cuteness, too. Or maybe, beauty. Yesterday I dropped Beccano off after picking him up from school, trying to get to my knitting group in Georgetown before the traffic hit on the Interstate. A couple of blocks from the house, the phone rang. It was him, saying, "Mom, come back! You have to see this!" So, I turned around and drove back. There he was standing anxiously by the front door, looking down. I came onto the porch and saw it.

Very Large Moth

He knew I wouldn't want to miss this beautiful moth on the porch. What a sweet boy--it's so nice that he still loves nature like he did when he was little and we'd stare at all the bugs and moths on nature hikes. Lee put the moth somewhere safer, though it was probably near the end of its life, anyway. Such a beautiful, delicate creature.

We saw a few other delicate creatures as we walked on the local greenbelt on Sunday. These dudes where hanging out and wishing we'd leave them alone.

Deer Hiding in the Shade

Mostly Lee and I just enjoyed even more wildflowers. This year they are spectacular. We have seen so many of our friends' children (and dogs) patiently posing amid the bluebonnets this year. We figured we didn't have any little kids any more, so we took pictures of each other!

Lee Bonnet

Suna Bonnet

We had a lot of fun looking at teeny little flowers that didn't photograph all that well--the karst formations in my neighborhood are host to many very delicate, tiny things, including some succulents that bloom pink--I hope to share those soon. However, there are some larger displays, like this honeysuckle gone wild along the path.

Unfortunately, this isn't the kind that smells wonderful (I did see some of that yellow kind way off the path), but it is pretty. Mine in the back yard has almost all died, so I am glad there is some elsewhere for all the hummingbirds! Hey, check out my new natural hair. Nice gray stripe, huh!

I hope someone is still here reading--I had lots of blog readers for a couple of weeks, but I stopped being controversial and they all hid again. I guess it's OK--I mostly write so I can have a fun record of what goes on in my life. And finally, it is a GOOD period. We've managed to pay the taxes, pay off the bills, start saving, and can relax. At least for a bit. I have been waiting for this day since 2002. About time.

The Green-Tinged Season

2010-04-03T16:36:00.000-05:00

I believe I have mentioned how much I like spring in this area. For a few months, there is something new and lovely blooming every day, as another thing fades. Of course, everyone's cars are sort of greenish, because the oak pollen is pretty darned intense, which is why I call it the "green-tinged season."

Right now, the redbuds are fading, after an incredibly spectacular showing, and the bluebonnets are in full force. It is traditional in this area to take photographs of babies, children, pets, etc. among bluebonnets. Here we have a depiction of our home "wildflower meadow" (which is the tiny patch of turf between the sidewalk and the cul-de-sac) and Lee's "baby" the motorcycle, which, unfortunately, ran out of battery and has been stuck there for a couple of days.

Flowers and Bike

Can you spot the bluebonnets? We have THREE plants in there, but you can only see two. The phlox have decided to establish themselves, and a bunch of those other green things are going to be something nice. I am not sure what. Last year annuals bloomed while the perennials established themselves. Mostly we have weeds, which I am patiently trying to eliminate so wildflowers can live. My main fear is that the absent neighbors will have their lawn crew come when no one is home and will mow the flowers. I scared some tree trimmers this morning by running out and asking them not to mow them. Oh well, they will work on our trees.

This time of year, before mosquitoes (unless you are my friend Ted, who said he got bit last night), we can really enjoy the yard. Our flower beds are coming back, even some stuff we thought had died. And look at all the wild anemones in the front bed!

Front bed with wild and not-so-wild flowers

Too pretty to pull up just yet. The pansies will not last too much longer, but I will enjoy them as long as I can. It's so nice to sit outside and see neighbors and look at things. It's also beautiful driving around. I really should have posted more photos from last week, when we went to see Lee's dad. Here's one more Lee took, of an Indian paintbrush.

Wait, one more. With a butterfly.

Oh wait, here is blue eyed grass.

Oh wait, here is a pink evening primrose. OK I will stop. I guess I liked all the flowers we saw, huh.

Now I gots to go shower after a hard workout--yes, I have lasted almost two weeks going to the gym! The elliptical trainer no longer kills me! And we have a fun party to go to, so I want to smell reasonably good and all that! Enjoy whatever holiday you are celebrating!

5 Year Blogaversary Guest Post: Surprise

2010-04-01T18:19:00.001-05:00

Today I have been blogging for 5 years. Yes, my first post was April 1, 2005. I just looked it up. Since I have been working this week (yay) and had a lot going on during the evenings, I haven't had time to post things that bring me joy for a few days.

Instead, I'd like to share some words written by my long-time friend, Liz T-G. You will find them on her very nice blog, but I am reprinting them here (with permission). She really summed up a lot of the kind of thinking I have been doing about recent faux pas, "learning experiences," and general screw ups I have been dealing with. And at the end, she sums up why I think I am going to be OK after all. So, read these smart words from Liz as I go to women's group and feel grateful for having recorded my ups and downs the past 5 years:

In real life, you can't take things back. In our minds and hearts and memories, we edit freely, changing history as we meant it to be, have learned it ought to have been, or wished it were. Nothing changes what we have done, or what we have left undone.

Life changes, though. People change, thoughts evolve. If we're lucky, understanding grows and deepens. The lens through which we--and others--view our actions or inactions is constantly shifting, growing more acute, or less interested or seeing with a different perspective than it did a few short years before.

Still what's done is done. Scurry as we might, we can't control what happens next and next and next. This helplessness gets scary, at times. Oh, ok. All of the time. I'd really like to come up with some pithy aphorism right here, demonstrating that I know where to place all of these f*&^%$ growth experiences, how to manage them, how to live through them.

Surprise. Not so much. My goal is continued breathing, intentionally with loving kindness toward all. Most moments, just breathing is a worthy accomplishment.

Serendipitous Coincidences

2010-03-25T09:31:00.001-05:00

These always make me happy, serendipitous coincidences. And they are everywhere, if you look for them.

For example, on my way home from dropping my boy off at school, I looked at the cars lining up at the light to get on the toll road. There were 13 vehicles, and every single one of them was white or light silver. I've also seen big groups of red cars. It looked like a fleet or something.

Another happened day before yesterday, when I was trying to separate the icky, sticky weeds from the wildflowers coming up in front of the yard. The neighbor came home, and we were chatting. He said, "Sue Ann, come look at this!" I turned around and there were our friends, the cedar waxwings. About 50 of them had descended on his hedge, which has red berries in it. There were so many that the hedge looked like it was alive. They made that cool cedar waxing noise, ate for about two minutes, then flew away. He got a photo, but I didn't. Wow, I have enjoyed those birds this year--I'll be sad when they move on.

Cedar Waxwing in South Austin

Since I didn't get a photo, I am sharing these that Jeff took. Apparently they pooped all over his car, so there are negative aspects to the yearly visit!

Cedar Waxwings in Soapberry Tree

The one above is well worth clicking on. The colors are beautiful.

The conclusion: Keep your eyes open for little serendipitous moments. They are all around you if you keep your eyes open. Want to hear about moments from other people? I am loving the blog It Made My Day: Little Moments of Win. People post little things that happen in their life that cheer them up, make them smile, or bring a moment of endearing oddness. It's hard to be down if you check that blog every so often!

Small Rant

OK, I have been using Blogger since 2005. I have always been able to upload images from my computer. Suddenly, yesterday, when I click on the "upload image" link in the blogger interface, I only get the options to upload from a Picasa album, a URL or an image already on the blog. Excuse me? So, to put images in, I've had to upload them to Flickr and paste in the URL. What the heck happened? Anyone else experiencing this? Did I fill my quota of images? I no longer see a notice of how much space I have left, but I had plenty last time I saw it. Is this a problem with Blogger in Draft? Argh.

UPDATE: I finally found the blogger list of current issues, and this was the most recent post:

Some users are experiencing errors when uploading images to Blogger in Draft (draft.blogger.com). We are working on the fix. Meanwhile, you can still upload images to your posts via www.blogger.com

So, I can switch away from Blogger in Draft (which I really like, though) and post normally from the regular Blogger. Just thought I'd share in case anyone else is having the problem!

Ms. Betterbody

2010-03-24T14:02:00.000-05:00

Today's inducer of happiness is a word I have avoided for long periods of my life: exercise. I've definitely had a love-hate relationship with it.

As my old friend JD pointed out to me on Facebook today, I had quite an infatuation with aerobics in grad school. My friend Kay and I would go to a dimly lit gym and leap and squat for hours listening to the best of the 80s. I still think of leg lifts when I hear "When Doves Cry," by Prince. We were going 5 days a week at one point, and I got down to 110 pounds. I am short, but not small boned, so that was one thin girl.

But, I spent most of my life 15-20 pounds more than that, and was fine. After a brief foray into jogging that made my poor ex-husband think I was "athletic" I didn't do anything until after the first child. I went to a gym, rode my bike, etc. It was very frustrating, but I got back to my normal weight, only to really, really pork out with the second pregnancy thanks to eating the Bradley Method's diet. Whoa. A lot of food. I hit my largest for a few years after Beccano was born.

Suna at Her Weightiest

Lordy. It was really hard to exercise, because I got no sleep for nearly three years. But, eventually I took up riding a road bike, because that was my husband's hobby, and I hoped it would be a bonding thing. Cycling and a lot of Jazzercise, combined with an infected thyroid dropped 60 pounds. People began to say I looked "too thin." Here's a photo from a bit after that time:

Thin, but Tired

I was dealing with the end of my marriage and such, so not terribly perky. But, wearing size 6 clothing! I tried that belt on last week...not so buckly any more.

What this leads me to is that since then, I haven't gone up and down quite so much, but keep having to reign myself in. I do love food, and I have portion control issues. I keep eating as much as the men in the family, forgetting they are bigger and have a faster metabolism than me. So, when it appeared that I was growing out of all my better clothes, and when I read all those healthy food books, I got serious about eating right and exercising again. Yep, my exciting "diet" is eating less (and healthier) food and exercising more. What a formula.

I am ten pounds less (at least--I actually didn't weigh until I had been eating better for a few weeks) than I was in January. I had been walking a lot when the weather was good, but realize that I can't walk once it gets hot (I faint when I overheat). So, I finally joined the gym in the beautiful "new" community center that has probably been there 4 years now (I can't find info on it). It is only a mile from the house and has really nice equipment, considering what you pay for it--quite a bargain compared to the fancy place where Tuba Boy used to work. I don't hate exercise, really, just resent the time it takes, and get tired of having to change clothing and shower so much. I will focus on the positive. I get to look at nice trees and not be overly hot while I walk or jog!

Today I actually treadmilled and did weight machines. I always feel silly, like I am faking people out. But, I was the youngest person there, so if the older folks can do it, I can, too. I know I need to do all that stuff for my health and all. I want happy bones and muscles! I am just glad I let Lee encourage me, and forced myself. Now I just have to keep it up.

I've Got Mail

2010-03-23T12:20:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that yesterday was not one of my best days. The disappointment I experienced was due to an error on my own part, so there's no one to blame but myself. "Learning experiences" are not a barrel of laughs while you are in the middle of them. But, I am pushing forward, realizing how much worse things can be, and regrouping. It's what you do. I am proud that I am getting better at dealing with things and have cut my wallowing time down considerably!

When I hit a wall of feeling powerless, I try to do something that makes me feel more competent. So, today I finally figured out how to organize my Outlook email into the system I used to use with my beloved Eudora. I'd save items by year (such as email lists, inbox, etc.) so that they never got too big. I was having trouble finding a way to quickly and efficiently do this, but this morning I realized an easy way (I just hadn't been thinking like Microsoft). So, it only took me an hour or so, and my inbox is nice and small, and email from friends and family is easy to find. Work (or former work) stuff is easy to find as well. I deleted a lot of stuff, like photos sent to me that I saved copies of elsewhere. That makes for a happier laptop.

Now I think I am going to go join the community center gym. That way I can exercise once it gets hot. Even if I just walk or ride bikes, I will feel better. Doing something for my health helps me feel better emotionally, too! Time to go for a walk and look at birds.

Music, Music, Music

2010-03-22T16:06:00.000-05:00

It should come as no surprise that music makes me happy. I went through 19 years after high school where listened to music as a way to cheer up (or get further down, as the need arose), and didn't perform at all. I had sung all the time in high school, because I was in two choruses (hello readers who were Travelaires at Plantation High School in the 70s), and did some solos and ensemble work, too. I loved it all, from madrigals to popular stuff. But, something happened. I no longer even remember what it was, but it made me not want to sing in college, and avoid it for many years.

Only when I started going to the UU church here in Texas did I tentatively start singing again. I was worried I'd forgotten how to read music.I hadn't. And I have been singing with them for over a decade (I posted a choir photo one day last week, so am not repeating). I also have sung in two larger choruses, and have chronicled some of that back in the depths of this blog. Search for singing and you'll find them.

But I have to say that being a member of the rather large but happy group, Funkatonic, has really revived my joy of singing. I think it's fulfilled the rock and roll fantasies of a lot of us in the band, which is mostly over-thirty former musicians of one sort or another (plus Beccano the teen bass player and our teen flute specialist). Here I am singing, as you can tell, "Ooh, Baby Baby" in my Linda Ronstadt-esque way. The words are up there because this was a "hymn" and the audience sang along. OK, fine. But I got to wear my shiny 70s belt and my t-shirt from an obscure Welsh 70s band.

Funkatonic, by J. Montgomery

We are all having a great time. And to prove it, here's the rest of the family, also having a great time.

The guitar dudes rocking out.

We are all just having so much fun. No, it isn't perfect. But it is fun. Music should bring joy, and I assure you, our music does. We all keep grinning about how great it is we get to do this in public! (Sort of public, anyway.) I am sure glad we've had the opportunity to perform rock in this setting, though I also know it can be too loud for some folks. Don't know how to please everyone, but they do provide a lot of different kinds of music at the church, which is fun! And fun is the theme to this entry. Glad there is fun in my life.

So, if you want to, indulge in this video clip, which I am grateful for Jon Montgomery for getting for us. The audience blocks a lot of us (poor Becano is behind the fellow in blue on the right).

Oh, and did you want to know more about the obscure Welsh rock band my shirt depicts? It's Budgie, and the shirt looks like the top one on this page. I definitely would have won the most obscure rock band t-shirt contest, if we'd had one. Of course, actual credit goes to my coworker, T., who remembered the band and pointed me to them, and my younger son, who got me the shirt.

Well, it's been a chilly beginning of spring, but I know it will be too hot before I know it. I am still working on getting some employment, and had an interview today that I hope went well. At least I met some nice folks and got to see an old friend today, so it was worth it. See what a great attitude I am getting from posting all these things that bring me joy? It's working! I feel better!

Visionary Post

2010-03-20T10:51:00.000-05:00

Continuing with my drive to make myself remember the good things in my life that make me happy, this one just popped into my head as I switched from my regular to my computer styles. I am incredibly grateful that modern science can grind pieces of glass or plastic in such a way that people whose vision is not perfect can see well. Yeah, I am grateful for glasses.

I got a backup pair yesterday, hoping that their narrowness would put the up-close part higher, so I would not have to tilt my head backwards to look at my computer screen while using the new couches (being recliners, they put my lap higher than the old one did).

Ready to go out to dinner wearing new purple, sparkly glasses.

Now I feel like some sort of diva or Elton John, with a "wardrobe" of glasses (I have sunglasses, special computer glasses for work, and two pairs of regular ones). These are sorta fancy, to contrast with my retro horn-rims. OK, I wasn't going to post a photo, but these new purple ones (which claim to be "rose") are so different I thought you might want to see. I do want to point out that the gaudy sides are mostly hidden by my hair, so they aren't quite as over-the-top when I am wearing them. My own photo didn't come out well, so here's one from the company:

Jean Lafont Audaces frames, sparkly with stained glass effect on giant titanium flowers.

Yes, these are rather "out there." But, aside from my urge to have fashionable frames, I want to get back to my theme. What really makes me happy is the fact that I can see so well. I have a great eye doctor who understands that I knit and read all the time and NEED to see small things well. I had such great vision when I was young, that I think I'd be very sad if I had to go around with my vision now. It's not that bad--I could probably drive without my glasses, but not being able to read easily would hurt.

And I know that vision is a gift that can be taken away. I have a good email friend who gets shots in her eyes every month to keep them from deteriorating any more than they are. You just know how important vision is to her! And I feel so bad for Jeff's mom (in her late 70s), whose eyes have started to go downhill very rapidly. She just bought a cute little car when she moved here last fall, but can't drive it now. She gave away all her craft stuff, and has large print books to read. She says she really misses sewing, knitting and crochet. It's got to be hard living alone and not able to do your hobbies.

I'm glad one son has perfect vision still and the other can wear contacts with no problems. Glasses can be a pain, but I never could get used to contacts for astigmatism, and the eye doctor warned me that I'd never be able to see as clearly as I can with glasses. So, I'll just keep using them as fashion accessories that also enable me to do the things I love (reading, writing, knitting, looking at birdies and flowers).

A New Look and the Time to Get It

2010-03-18T10:17:00.001-05:00

This blog is nearly 5 years old (on April 1!), and I had used the same template the whole time. I'd put a lot of customization on it, but it was still very recognizable as one of the standard Blogger themes. So, I bit the bullet, lost a bunch of my customized things, but got a new look. I like it. Maybe one day I will really branch out and use another service or get a custom template, but this will be fine for now!

So, I stuck in a photo of our little church choir from last week. That is one of the things in my life that I am glad I have time for. Sometimes it's frustrating, like last night when we had 0 sopranos (but it IS spring break and people are busy). I do love choral singing, and am glad to have this opportunity to do that--it complements my rock and roll fun nicely!

Really what I'd wanted to talk about today was being grateful for the last 4 weeks with no work. We've had some good luck and the pressure to work so bills will be paid is off a bit. Now I am looking for work I will enjoy and not stressing about it--and will be thrilled if the folks I have been contracting with are able to provide something to do, too. I still love them!

What's been good, though, is having the time to mindfully do some of the things I have been rushing through while I was working so much and spending so much time at yarn shops. I have been able to not only clean the kitchen, but work on getting it back to where I can enjoy working in it again. I've actually kept it nice and tidy for three weeks even though I have been cooking a lot more, and for some reason that really makes me feel good. I got the family room decluttered for my Pampered Chef party, and it has STAYED that way since then. Perhaps the kids are old enough to not create chaos wherever they go (more likely Beccano's just confining his chaos to his room). The dining room FINALLY does not have a lot of extraneous equipment in it (I lie: there is an upside-down bass amp in there right now, but it just needs to get its wheel reattached and it will roll back into its space). And there is just one pile of computer equipment to move out of the "parlor" and it will be nice, too!

I keep trying to declutter the bedroom, but it comes back. I guess that's next!

Cleaning lets me think. I had not had much time to do that recently. I was too busy panicking. I feel like, at last, I can make future plans that aren't in crisis mode. This helps a lot.

Having this bonus time to myself has also enabled me to meditate more. I have always meditated, since I was a teen, but sometimes I only get a few minutes. I have been able to spend more time meditating, which has always been a boon to my serenity and clarity of thought.

It's funny how sometimes a big catharsis precedes calm. A couple of weeks ago I had to face some issues I'd been avoiding (was really too embarrassed to meet them head on). It was painful at the time for me and a friend, but I got through that, and as a bonus figured out it is OK to not be beloved by everyone, it is OK to prefer to be around positive friends, and it is OK to mess up sometimes and not be understood. I now know who my friends are, bear no ill will toward those who aren't fond of me, and feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders. That's just peachy! I'm rested, relaxed, and ready to face the world!

A new look for the blog means for me, also a new phase in life has started. I think my birthday this year was a significant one. The long, scary phase of most of the 2000s may well be behind me, and I can enjoy my spouse, my children, my friends, my hobbies and my work!

Kinda Fond of My Household

2010-03-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

Continuing with my theme of things in my life that cheer me up, I'd be totally remiss if I didn't mention the members of my household. Every day I find myself smiling at something one of them does or says. Between the things the humans say and the things the pets do, there's no shortage of grins around here lately.

The humans have been exemplary lately. Lee has been incredibly patient and kind to me while I have been dealing with interpersonal issues and worrying about my lack of paying work the past few weeks. He works so hard, but still has time to do music with us, joke with the kids, and do important church work. Beccano (new readers, that is the code name of the red-haired child) plays his guitar and sings all the time, which soothes my soul, then he will come out with some zinger of humor that makes me wonder where he got this genius--wow this kid has a quick wit! And Tuba Boy (who no longer has a tuba) has matured incredibly since going to college, and is a joy to converse with--he really holds his own on any topic. Plus I enjoy all the kids' friends as they visit.

Scrunchy in his favorite spot.

However, I spend most of my time with the non-human residents. Poor Scrunchy is less than pleased with us right now, because we got a new sofa and loveseat. Both are recliners, and the loveseat has electric up and down mechanism (yes, an indulgence, but I have a weak shoulder). I think he's spooked by the moving couches, plus not happy that there's a center console, so he can't glue himself next to me any more. Now he plops his immense pug self on the wing chair and arranges the pillow to his liking. He's apparently saving his best snoring for night, so he can serenade us while we try to sleep.

Rose prefers to sleep at the bottom of the stairs, so she can't miss anyone going up or down.

Rose amused me very much yesterday. Every once in a while she gets a frenzy in her head and has to run. She runs in that funny hunched down ways dogs do. I heard a noise and went out on the balcony to see her running back and forth downstairs. When she saw me, she charged upstairs, wiggled a bunch, then went back down. After 4 of these events (which also sent Scrunchy into a wiggling and snorting frenzy), she finally fell down, exhausted. I do not know what starts these events, but they are fun to watch.

Buddy had been watching the rain outside before I disturbed him to take a picture.

During this event, Buddy realized something was going on, hauled his poor ailing legs up, and "rushed" up to participate. By the time he was halfway up the stairs, Rose was done. I encouraged him to come up and gave him happy petting, so he'd think he got to play too. Poor old guy, he doesn't run downstairs every time there's a noise that gets the other two in an uproar any more, but every once in a while he decides to play, and it's really cute how he lumbers over and makes happy dog noises, which thrills Rose and Scrunchy.

I enjoy the stuff the animals do, from trying to go out and pee on the plants in the front yard when given any chance, to stationing themselves at intervals so you can't walk anywhere without stepping over a canine companion. Since Gwen has been gone (a year now!), the barking around the house has diminished incredibly, and they are much better behaved when we have guests. Lee also has them eating very politely. I know I have complained about the dogs in the past, but things are way better in that department now. I don't know how I'd ever get through a day without the love in Buddy's eyes, Rose's smile, and Scrunchy's wiggling devotion.

Skkylight says, "Hey, that's rather bright light!"

But, there's even joy to be had from Skylight. That bird is quite the entertainer. She has been doing all sorts of climbing tricks and doing weird stuff with her toys a lot these days. Plus, it cracks us up how she seems to love certain songs and television shows and sings along as loud as her little chirper can sing. When Jeff's mom was visiting, about halfway through the visit she said, "Hey, is there a bird in here?" and then good ole Skylight started singing away. She doesn't talk or anything, but has always been a pleasant companion for me. She's at least 12 years old, making her the oldest pet we have!

I'm thinking of people I know who are dealing with flooding right now. Our rain is pleasant and good for our lakes and trees. The storms up north are another story! Stay dry, readers!

Spring! OK?

2010-03-14T22:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, perhaps does not come as a huge shock, given the long, cold, wet winter we are coming out of, that spring is one of the things that is making me happy (if you are a recent visitor, I have been posting things that make me happy for the past week or so). Practically everyone on Facebook is posting "I love spring" and some lovely photos, and my email lists are abuzz with posts about going for long walks and such. Who could blame people?

I tend to treasure spring, especially since I got to Texas 13 years ago, because it's pretty much our only pleasant season. It gets pretty darned spectacular in late March and April, but my favorite time tends to be very early, when the first flowering trees come out, the anemones bloom and the redbuds bud. Today I had a nice visit with Jeff and his mom, Rose, and then went out to sit on the new patio and look at the bird feeder. As I sat there knitting on a mitten, I began to think about all the things that have brought me joy this spring. Here's a list--what does YOUR list look like?

Bradford Pear Trees on Pocono Drive, scenic Brushy Creek, Texas

Bradford Pear Trees: Now, you must understand that in general, I am not the biggest fan of the Bradford pear tree. It's not a native species, in Illinois they don't hold up well under heavy snow (their branch structure lends to splitting), and heck, they don't even make pears. I like fruit trees that have fruit. However, this year, thanks to the copious amount of rainfall this winter, trees that usually sport a pathetic few blossoms each year and then immediately set their leaves out have been a glorious clouds of ethereal whiteness.

The picture above shows a row of trees that has started to leaf out. We took pictures after the peak, but it's been totally amazing this year. I have seen Bradford pear trees in this neighborhood that I didn't even know where there. There is some variety that makes white clusters that is peaking right now. Wow, they are just lovely. I have heard another couple of folks agree that this year's blossoms way outshine any previous year's flowers that we can remember. Usually the only nice white flowers I get to see in the spring are the native plum trees, because we have no dogwoods (I miss them). So this year has been wonderful in the white tree department.

Water Droplet in Cabbage

Serendipity in Nature: I just love looking at our plants and the things I see in my walks. We saw this lovely bead of dew on our ornamental cabbage plant on our way somewhere. It reminded me of a pearl in an oyster, waiting to be discovered.

Mr. Sparrow gazes at his true love.

Looking at Birds: This time of year is always the best for bird watching. The migration path is right over where we live. As a matter of fact, geese were migrating overhead today. Lots of honking! I love our front patio because I can watch all the bird activity from the comfort of my chair. The European Sparrows you see here are sitting in the burr oak tree, which is blooming, and my kind spouse took the photo with his telephoto lens.

A whole bunch of sparrows at the feeder! And the red bud, budding.

While the sparrows were cute and quite hungry, and the mourning doves squabbling with each other were amusing, I was glad to see some interesting transients coming by, too. There were a whole bunch of chipping sparrows. They are so teeny. They blend so well with the grass, which is still brown from the cold weather, that they made it look like the ground was moving around. Later on some cute black-capped chickadees showed up to snack on the tree blossoms and check into the feeder, as well. As we were watching those birds, I heard a noise, and yay! I saw my first hummingbird of spring, sitting in the oak tree. Lee tried to get a picture, but you know how fast they are!

Sparrow coming in for a landing.

Lee did get this one picture of one of a sparrow in flight, which I enjoyed a lot. The sounds of their little wings going back and forth from my house to the hedge in the next yard is quite spectacular for such little beings.

Other spring fun things: The kids being home for spring break (and bringing all their friends around), pulling weeds, watching the roses grow, knitting outside, waiting for the oak pollen to descend and make everything yellow, and reading about other people's spring experiences. Keep sharing, readers. And enjoy the special aspects of spring where you live.

Eating Reasonable Things

2010-03-12T17:13:00.000-06:00

The thing that makes me happy today is that I am finally making a move to eat more consciously. I have always been a fan of good nutrition, but often choose what is convenient over what might be likely to promote good health. We do eat a lot of meals as a family, and I know that is good, but we have gone through periods recently where most of that has been at Sonic or restaurants. Since I've been off work, it's been a lot easier to cook at home, but I think I will be able to continue it when work picks up again.

The reason I have been working on eating better is that all the reading I have been doing has finally sunk into my soul, and I can't just do nothing.

Quite a while ago I read The Omnivore's Dilemma, by Michael Pollan. It opened my eyes to how food is raised in the US. Then more recently I watched the DVD and read the book of Food, Inc. That made me decide to never eat a LOT of snack foods I once enjoyed again. Gee whiz, corn, soybeans and that corn syrup are in everything!

Now I am reading Food Rules and In Defense of Food, also by Pollan. These books just make a lot of sense. They don't promote one diet or another, just eating reasonable foods in reasonable proportions. Food Rules isn't very long at all and can be boiled down to:

Eat Good. Mostly Plants. Not too much.

That means to eat things you know what they are (like a carrot versus whatever is in a Twinkie), eat more leaves, fruits and vegetables, and don't over-eat. It doesn't say never have cake. Just don't have cake every day.

I had put on a few pounds, so I started eating this way, and walking more, and it's worked fine--lost about 9 pounds in 3 weeks. I know it will slow down, but that's fine. We are trying to eat more organic stuff, and even have ordered our first batch of organic beef from our friends at Wild Type Ranch (if you live around here, check their website for when they deliver near you). That's one thing these books suggest consumers can do to change how the food industry in the US works: buy locally from people you KNOW.

I have watched a number of my friends change their diets in recent years. Some have become vegetarians. A number of people have gone gluten free, so I have seen how that diet can be quite tasty and varied. We also know people who eat an all raw diet. That sounds awful, doesn't it? But no, I can assure you that some of the most delicious things I have ever eaten have been prepared by my friends who eat raw. My friend Karen gave me a slice of pomegranate pie she had made for a birthday gift. It was wonderful. The crusts she makes from nuts and such are absolutely divine. And the agave nectar sweetener is great!

I might not ever got 100% vegetarian, but I already don't eat a lot of meat. I would like to bring a lot more fish into my diet, though I do worry about contaminants with that. And I don't think I'd ever switch to a raw diet, but I'd be tempted to eat a lot more raw foods if I had the time and money to prepare and purchase the beautiful, healthy and delicious ingredients. (The major flaw of the raw diet is the time and expense--you sure have to own a GOOD juicer and blender thingie, plus the nuts and such can get costly.)

I think we are all aware that food-related conditions are rampant in the US. Most can be prevented by changing eating habits. We don't have to go crazy. I am changing one thing at a time, and gradually switching to a healthier diet. For example, I have not had a diet soda (or regular) in weeks. Go me! I've been drinking water, tea, coffee and red wine, because, hooray, red wine is good for you in moderation if you don't tend to abusing it!

I do recommend the In Defense of Food Book to anyone interested in learning the history of the way westerners eat. It's quite eye opening. Even if you do not change how you eat, you will understand why you are finding the things you find in the grocery store, etc.

My Brilliant Friends

2010-03-11T09:38:00.000-06:00

Today's thing that makes me happy must be my brilliant friends. One of the things I miss most about not working has to be my coworkers. They are so funny and so smart. I am always intellectually challenged and learning new things when I am there. One reads constantly and is always referring me to new books on topics like language, religion and such, while another is "not a reader" but practically has the Internet memorized and has amazing musical resources. Yet another has brilliant political insights, etc., etc. A fun bunch of folks, and I miss them! But, they keep in touch. One sent me this brilliant video from "CNNBC." (Even if you don't share our political viewpoint you can appreciate how well done it is!)

Is that not a hoot?

I also get so much from my friends at Live Oak UU, too. I love how many different perspectives come up in our Circle Supper dinners and such! Even with my hermit tendencies (I must have gotten them from Lee), I realize I need to be around other folks so I can learn from them. Of course friends are good for support, for companionship and for doing things with, but always remember that everyone around you has something they can teach you, so be open to the chances to learn!

Before I forget--I've got great friends from the kids' school, knitting and of course, online! I have learned so much from email lists and my online work in the past! Thanks to all of you for being around and for sharing so much of yourselves through such a seemingly impersonal medium.

But wait, there's more! In the past few weeks I have learned a great deal in, of all places, my Facebook status comments. Wow, there are some insightful people all over the world willing to contribute their perspectives on issues I bring up. I wish I could save them all and write them up in an inspirational book.

Here's an example. I said, in the kind of self-indulgent whine that I am so darned good at:

Sue Ann Kendall is trying to have a good day, honest. But everything I say is not coming out right, things are irritating me, and my back hurts from moving furniture around. I wish I could say what I think about matters that are important to me without upsetting people. Yes, yes, sometimes it is THEIR issue, not mine. My issue is losing friends by inadvertently offending people, which I am tired of. Sigh.

Responses included (names omitted, of course):

A: I am sorry. I wish people would just get over themselves and deal with it. If you say something that offends someone maybe it was something that needed to be said and it is something they don't want to face, so it is easier to get mad or hurt. I speak from my own personal experience. Now, I just deal with it. I hope things get better for you today. HUGS!!
B: there are days like that. some days it's just better to turn of the phone, close the door, and hibernate a bit. Or spend the day prefacing every comment with "I'm having a weird day and not trying to be mean or rude..."
C: Can you really inadvertently lose true friends? I agree with the saying "those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind."
D: I agree with what Person C said. Friends can disagree. If you can't disagree, they're not friends.
Sue Ann Kendall: Good point, guys. I think sometimes I view people as friends who are more like acquaintances I spend a lot of time with.
E: Excellent saying, Person C. I need to remember that.
F: They couldn't have been very good friends in the first place....
G: I love the prayer:"God spare me from the desire to be loved, approved of and appreciated." BK
Not easy to do, but so freeing.. I ask myself, how many things do I do each day for 'LAA' (love, approval and appreciation'??
H: One of my great lessons was that I don't really need to convince anyone that I'm right. (I talk about this in communications skills now; isn't it great when we really don't feel invested in someone else's decision?) I'm now working on no longer needed to be liked by everybody. At that point, I will stop trying to please my acquaintances and focus on my friends. I have very few true friends. Those I have love me and seem to think I'm perfect. I'm not, but they are. :-)
I: "Be who you are, say what you feel, those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess. Suna, you have a good heart and a good way of speaking. Don't take things too personally. Remember 2nd agreement of the 4 agreements: "DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY...Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."
J: I agree with just about everyone who's written a comment here. I really like it when people speak their mind -- it makes things interesting.
Sue Ann Kendall: This is another one of those status threads that has really enriched my life. People who don't like Facebook should read this supportive and helpful stuff and see how it brings people closer.
K: I love the Suess quote! I'm going to keep that one! And I agree with the sentiments here Suna. Being another "too sensitive" type (misnomer...you can't be too sensitive...you're as sensitive as you are...some definitely more than others) I can relate. I like one of the lessons I learned from Starhawk (can't recall which book, Truth or Dare maybe?) that we all must speak our truth! Your particular voice cannot be heard in the world unless you have the courage to speak...and yeah, sometimes people don't like it, but sometimes too those things need to be said...especially if it is YOUR truth you are speaking. The only way that particular piece of truth can be heard is if you are the one to speak it.
L: True friends love you, anyway, anyhow. And I sure do. Sorry to be chiming in late and I think I missed some stuff-- doesn't matter-- I got your back.

Note how people who don't even know each other get support an insight from each other just by reading Facebook comments! And there is such a wide variety of perspectives. That is so helpful to me and I think to the others, too. I guess, no, I don't think Facebook is lame. I have had too many really interesting experiences and re-acquainted myself with too many people I care about to think it is lame!

By the way, I am going to turn on comment moderation on this blog, since I am getting some nasty comments on my other one (intriguingly enough, I believe it's one of those people I offended somehow without intending to, whom I should be ignoring according to the folks above, ha ha), and don't want to offend anyone here.

Chalice Circles!

2010-03-10T10:57:00.000-06:00

Continuing in my new theme of writing about something that brings me joy every day, let's talk about chalice circles. I am participating in two of these at the Unitarian Universalist church I attend. I facilitate the Tarot and Spirituality group and participate in the Project Linus group (if you have seen that big square afghan I made, it was for that group). A Chalice Circle is like a covenant group or small group ministry (see this link to another UU church's definition) in many churches. A consistent group of people meet monthly or weekly or whatever they like, and create community based on some common purpose.

Some of them deal with generic topics, like "personal growth," while others are very specific (such as the group I am in that makes quilts and afghans for a nice charity). The UU ones ask that you have a set program so that people are reminded they are in something like a small church service. In the Tarot and Spirituality Chalice Circle, we light a candle, have a reading, and do a check-in, plus whatever the theme of the meeting is. The Project Linus group is more informal and likes to get right down to quilting (or knitting in my case).

What brings me joy is how healing the tarot Chalice Circle has been, not just for me, but also for all the participants. As churches grow, they change, and some of us have been less than pleased with some of the changes in our worship services. We missed the sharing and community strengthening aspects mostly. It has been great to share with the members of our group, learn about ourselves, and enjoy the insights of others while we learn about tarot. It makes me so happy to facilitate a group that helps others (I have missed that part of being in the Dysfunctional Nonprofit Organization). And as a side benefit, we can feel like active participants in the church we love even if we don't attend services often or at all (note that we do have a couple of non-church participants--that's another advantage of Chalice Circles--you don't have to be a church member to participate).

In today's society, it is hard to make new friends, and even harder to become really close to others. Where I live, the people like me (politically and socially liberal, agnostic, pagan, sorta New-Agey) are quite scattered. It has been great to get to know better a group of people I know with whom I have many things in common. Of course, we have enough differences to make it interesting and facilitate learning! I am so grateful to everyone who takes the time to come to the meetings (they are held in our home--that's the preferred setting). These people keep me centered, help me feel like I am a part of something, and keep my urges to hide at bay.

I encourage any of you who read this to seek out ways to build a close-knit community and grow closer to other humans where you live. A knitting group, a book club, bird watching...whatever your interest is, you can find a group of people and get to know them. It may take a few tries, too. Not every group is automatically compatible or grows close. But when it works, a small group can keep you going when times get rough, and share your joys when things go well!

For more on Unitarian Universalism or to see if there are Chalice Circles where you live, check out the UUA website.

Starting Anew: Loving My Music

2010-03-09T11:13:00.001-06:00

I haven't been writing here much, because, well, I have had some issues with feeling rather down, and didn't want to just whine and whine and whine. Of course, the issues I have been dealing with are real and legitimate--not having consistent work, not getting any of the jobs I apply for, etc. That makes me feel incompetent, even when I know perfectly well they like me lots at work, there just isn't any work to do through no fault of my own. Other issues of friendship and such don't help. I'm working on it, and certainly Lee and the kids are not problems. They are lots of help.

What to Do about It

I've been dieting and exercising in my little hiatus from work, thinking that will help. It has helped my waistline and I've enjoyed the early spring so far!

And in blogging, I think I will use this space for a while to post as often as possible about a good thing going on in my life. That will give me nice stuff to review. So I will start.

Singing "Stop in the Name of Love" with Funkatonic.

I am really enjoying Funkatonic (website coming soon), the band a great musician at church put together to provide more "modern" music for church services. We have played twice so far, and are rehearsing for the March performance now (oops, not performance, service). What fun it is to play with so many talented people. We amaze ourselves at how quickly we figure out songs.

And it's a family affair. Beccano plays percussion and bass, and is holding his own among some very talented professional musicians. Lee is playing lead guitar, and I am one of the backup singers, or on a few songs the main singer. We are having fun working out harmonies!

If you are on Facebook, you can become a fan--just search for Funkatonic. You can see lots more photos.

Look for more highlights of my recent months in upcoming days!

New Year's Meme

2010-01-01T20:43:00.003-06:00

I got these off the blog of a Facebook friend. Since I am still having trouble writing about my actual life, here's some generic answers to questions, and a nice photo of Beccano and Rose, Jeff's mother, when we went to visit her in her new west Austin condo for the elderly. She is doing MUCH better.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Voiceovers for online training courses.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No, I just keep trying to learn.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Two of my knitting friends.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Lee's sister died, though I didn't know her. And George, my dad's best friend, died.

5. What countries did you visit?
New Mexico. Ha ha.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 which you lacked in 2009?
A job with benefits. That has been the wish since 2006.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched in your memory, and why?
I am not clear on the date, but I will never forget the day I dropped Tuba Boy off for college. I was happy for him, but felt a huge loss.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I coped with an organization changing into something I didn't like much in a productive, proactive way. And I did not take it personally. I gained a new skill and made a positive contribution to my community. I wish I had managed that with the Dysfunctional Nonprofit Organization.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Did not get a job I really, really wanted and thought I was very qualified for. I regret not getting to work with the interesting people and topics.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I managed to get through the years of no insurance without going bankrupt! No major illnesses or injuries!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Either my beautiful Dell Studio 17-inch computer or the two pieces of gorgeous, heavy Mexican turquoise jewelry I got for Lee and myself at the Yulefest.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I have been very impressed with the behavior of the members of the Diamond Dachshund Rescue. They save a lot of puppy mill dogs and have been incredibly kind to animals. I don't really know any of these people, but admire their dedication.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
All hate mongers (deleted a list of names) and politicians who FLAUNT that they are controlled by businesses and not the interest of the people they represent.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Things that broke (air conditioners, cars, water heaters...blah blah).

15. What did you get really excited about?
Marching band, knitting, politics, learning my job

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Carol of the Bells (kid played it in band)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
Neither happier nor sadder, a bit fatter, probably richer but the work keeps going away.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveled with Lee and the kids.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Applying for jobs.

20. How did you spend New Year’s Eve 2009?
Went to church friend Janet's house, as I have done most years since 1998. We ate and talked and didn't do anything embarrassing. Had a bit of fun, then came home.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Still in love with the husband. Loved a few different yarns.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Fringe.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I'm not a big hater. But I grew to dislike some Fox News personnel more than I did before. And my disappointment in some former friends/colleagues of mine deepened greatly.

24. What was the best book you read?
I Am a Strange Loop, by Douglas Hoffstadter, which I am still reading.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Animal Collective

26. What did you want and get?
A job with nice, fun, and interesting coworkers.

27. What did you want and not get?
A permanent position with benefits.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Star Trek (didn't see a lot this year)

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old did you turn?
I turned 51. I don't remember what I did. I looked back at this blog (back when I actually wrote stuff!) and see that we went to a Spanish restaurant with Beccano and Parker, and listened to Jeff's band play. Too bad that band never took off.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
That elusive job. I am not obsessed about that, just it is a priority--the economy is bad enough, and the instability is really hard on my issues. Hence, few blog posts.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
I am back to wearing a nice top and jeans, often with something I knitted. I guess I am slightly funky casual.

32. What kept you sane?
Lee, Beccano, accepting friends, knitting.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Fancy...Jon Stewart, I guess.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health care reform. Affects me so much.

35. Whom did you miss?
Lydia. Tuba Boy. Dad (haven't seen him since our wedding).

36. Who was the best new person (people) you met?
My coworkers.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
You'll get by, but you probably won't get ahead.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I've been chasing grace, but grace ain't so easily found.

--New Year's greetings to those of you still following.

End of Decade Philosophizing

2009-12-29T10:49:00.002-06:00

I have been reading the blog of Lisa, a woman I knew from my old nonprofit work, who has had many challenges lately. It really reminds me of my years between 2002-2007, only her issues (cancer, for example) have been truly hard challenges. She posted this today, which I encourage you to read. Since I wrote a huge long response, and since I have been so down the past month or two that I haven't posted much here, I thought I'd share my comment here. As context, she talks about the topic of "why me"? Why does all this crap happen, all at once, to people who are trying to lead a good life, treat others well, and raise productive children? I said:

Well, my deep descent began right about this time ten years ago. At one point, I remember telling people the light at the end of the tunnel felt like it was only a few atoms wide. It all took me by surprise. I thought that since I was smart, tried to be kind, worked hard, and focused on helping others that good stuff would happen to me. I thought things that didn't go well were because I had made bad decisions, so I worked really hard to be kind and make good decisions.

What the years of partners leaving, friends betraying me, jobs that disappeared or stressed me to the max, and financial horrors told me was that I am NOT in control. No matter how smart or nice I try to be or how hard I work, stuff can happen. I can't make people treat me the way I want to be treated. I can't stop illnesses in myself or my family. It happens.

Worse was how long it took me to figure out that this stuff wasn't punishment for being a "bad person, bad friend, bad spouse, bad worker, bad parent, etc." And it didn't mean that the people who "did stuff" to me were bad either. Things just happen. Sure, it helps to try to make good decisions and keep living my life according to my personal values (treat others as you would like to be treated). But that won't make life easy.

All I can control is how I react to things. I guess this is the same lesson you are learning, too. It sure took me a long time. And still, occasionally I fall back into the panic mode and cry out, "Why me?"

I still work for peace in my home, my community and the world, even though I know there are huge groups of people and corporations who do not share this agenda. I will still fight for religious tolerance and appreciation of the wonderful variety of cultures in the world, even with all the forces who think anything "other" should be squashed. That makes me feel good. That keeps me going.

And I expect crappy stuff will keep happening. But I have stopped punishing myself and blaming others. That has not helped.

Hmm, I'll go put this endless comment in my blog, so it will have content this month.
[end quote]

I'll try to post more. Really, nice stuff has happened in addition to stress--the kids are great, I really enjoy my coworkers and work (when I have it). Lee is a great husband and very kind to me. I have some fine neighbors, knitting friends, church friends and online pals. We all have challenges. Just sometimes it's harder to cope than others, and this has been one of my harder times. Funny, though, I think it makes me appreciate the good stuff even more.

Been Gone

2009-11-27T20:12:00.002-06:00

I've had a hard time writing lately. I type so much at work that it's hard to make myself write more at home.

And there have been sad things in my family--my step-mother's aunt (who was raised as a sister)'s husband died. (Interesting relationship, I know). George, who we visited many times. I felt so bad for them. And then my step-mother broke her arm the next night--badly, and missed the memorial service. My poor dad has been taking care of both of them since and it has stressed him out.

Then Lee's sister died. We have been riding in an RV for the last week visiting various relatives of his.

And I have been trying to work this whole time.

I will try to share some nice memories of the past month over the next few days.

Life Snippets

2009-10-26T16:17:00.004-05:00

A lot has been going on, so it's been hard to fit in time to write about it. This post is just chock full of little things I've been thinking about or have enjoyed.

My dad alerted me to this article in the Greensboro, NC newspaper, about his long-time neighbor, Hilda Fountain. She just turned 101 years old, and as you can see, still has a great sense of humor. I guess I'll have to take the photo off if I ever make this blog public, but for now, enjoy this photo from the article!

Hilda is really an inspiration. She is so "with-it" and has such energy, even after dealing with breast cancer at age 98. It would be so wonderful to still be able to contribute to society, grow plants and harvest vegetables, and have all my faculties when I reach her age.

I debated long and hard about whether to do this, but in the end, I let Beccano have his Christmas gift early, even though he was once again slacking off on school work. I just could not figure out how to hide this huge guitar anyway. It's a Fender Jaguar bass. with an apparently very cool red head stock. To make it even cooler, he let me get him red Converse All Stars to go with the bass.

The good news is that because the bass is going out of production, it was deeply discounted. Better news is that I could get it at Danny Ray's rather than the big guitar store in town! Always happy to support local folks' businesses. Wow, Beccano is a happy boy with this, and he seems fine about not getting a lot of Christmas gifts, since this pretty much ate up his share, plus a bit. Now he has all the guitars I am going to get him for a decade or so, at least.

We had a stressful, yet fun, week at work last week. The Big Boss came to visit, so we all had to be in the office, looking busy. Of course, I don't think he even popped his head into the room where all the regular people work, but we had it looking good anyway. I even brought cookies, and the Ninja Genius guy made pumpkin bread. In the spirit of Halloween, Tuba/Train Man decorated our collection of buffalo using the office supplies I had lying around. One buffalo is going as the Easter Bunny for Halloween, while another has buffalo wings. The third is a pirate (that is an earring and eye patch on the left buffalo).

Sometimes we get a bit giddy after a lot of technical crapola. I was describing how there had been a mistake on a document, and my attempt at fixing it had made it worse, when I came out with this gem of a statement, "Two wrongs make a very wrong wrong." Everyone insisted it HAD to go on my whiteboard with another couple of little gems, after which Ninja Genius just had to add his two cents.

We survived one of those "team building" outings with the Big Boss, which mainly for me involved not eating fried food and watching the guys play pool in a smoky bar. I did at least get to have a free beer. I did my best to be friendly and act smart, since they are still trying to get me a permanent position. I tried to appear valuable.

At least all this stuff has helped the time pass waiting for Lee to get finished with his endless work trip. He got sick over the weekend, and I know that must have been hard. I hate being sick all alone.

I got cheered up a bit, anyway, with more enjoyment of the high school band. Here's a bonus shot of them in the stands playing the school song, which none of us parents have any idea what the words are, other than "O Shenandoah."

A real highlight of the past week or so came Saturday night. I decided I didn't want to spend Saturday night alone (Beccano had a date to see a movie with his girlfriend and a few other people). So I called Tuba Boy at the college and asked what he was doing. He said it was R's birthday--this is the girl from another country in their group, and it is her first birthday away from home. He was willing to eat with me, but also wanted to share her birthday with her.

So, his entire group of friends decided to join me at the Mexican restaurant near our house, where we had a very fun meal. She got sung to by the staff and had to wear the giant sombrero. Plus she got her first fried ice cream. It was incredibly cute. She is just one of those people whose adorableness quotient is very high.

Then they all trooped over to my house (8 kids in total) for tarot readings. They are all very interested (I had talked to the girls about it a bit in their suite last time I saw them), but one girl especially seems like she may be a real tarot person some day. It was a LOT of fun, though that many readings is tiring! They played with our dogs, which pleased the dogs a lot (they miss Lee). The kids paid attention, as much as college kids can, and asked lots of good questions. What struck me is how very lucky Tuba Boy is to have been assigned such a great group of kids to live and work with. Only one kid who was there was not a member of their "Living Learning Community," and he was the boyfriend of one of the girls--fit right in, though. I really enjoyed being around such a pleasant, intelligent and open-minded bunch of young people. Whoever assigned the living arrangements is a genius. They are like peas in a pod. What fun to get to know them all better!

I'm still trying to carve out time to write more. I just get real tired lately. All that reading and staring at the computer screen, I guess. But I really do like my job, so keep your fingers crossed that it stays!

Best Weekend Ever

2009-10-12T13:11:00.006-05:00

According to the kids in the band, this was the "best weekend ever." Things did come out rather magically for them, and I actually had a good time, too.

Friday was the homecoming game. The tradition is for the cool kids to buy or make each other these "mums," which no longer have actual mums like they did when I was a teen. It's all plastic. Here is Beccano wearing one that his friend J. gave him to wear because he hadn't managed to give it to his intended recipient.

Here we see J's girlfriend, who although a freshman, seems to have gotten the spirit big time, huh? That is how you kept seeing kids--some had so many "mums" that they were weighed down, or had created special holders for them. Not my favorite tradition.

Another tradition is the homecoming football game. Tuba Boy and Debate Boy came to that and wandered around getting hugged. You had to find something to do, because the football game was just pitiful. Neither team had any defensive line (our team has three very large boys on crutches at the moment--so large they were in the newspaper!) which could explain our issue. So, there was lots of scoring and watching the quarterbacks run around looking for someone to throw to, since there was no one able to sack them. We enjoyed the other team's band show at halftime, and were thrilled when Homecoming King was the drumline captain.

And we were shocked when after the other team scored a touchdown at the last minute, their kicker missed the extra point, letting our team win their first homecoming game in 6 years. Not exactly a stirring victory, but it counts. Then, at the end, when it was our band's turn to play, their band LEFT (which NEVER happens--we watched the other team last week when it was their homecoming). And worse, their coach kept their football team on the field after the band was announced, and had them doing jumping jacks in front of the band. Then apparently they made threats and spit on the band. Yeah, like the band kids had anything at all to do with their defeat. I am still working on the letter to the principal of that school. What bad sports.

Saturday continued being good. I ditched the kids and spent some time at the yarn shop, which I hadn't done in a long time, and that was good. After that I had a "lunch/dinner" in the middle of the afternoon with two other band moms. We decided we did NOT want to eat any more stadium food, so we got Mexican and figured it would hold us all evening. It did. And I listened to a LOT of band mom gossip!

Then all us band parents loaded into buses and went to Kyle, Texas for another competition. Although it was not rained out, it sure was nippy out. We watched a LOT of bands, some of them with pretty spectacular shows. All sorts of props, sound effects and such. But, when they finally got around to announcing the results, we were sad. They announced all the people in our group through second place and still hadn't mentioned our school. We figured we didn't even merit a teeny little trophy. But, no! The announcer said our band was first in its class. What we hadn't realized is that the last three bands were in a larger category than us (didn't even know there WERE bigger high schools). Now, you may recall that in the last competition, our kids came in last. So, we were (and are) pretty shocked, but for once in a good way.

I must say they did look and sound better. Obviously practice helped, and I think the slackers were intimidated into trying (and some kids were taken out). I was really happy the color guard won, even though they had inadvertently left their sabers at the school. They looked very good with the "air sabers" and didn't drop a one of them!

Sunday I'd planned to spend with my friend Jody, but she didn't feel well. But, the yarn shop was open in the afternoon for the yarn crawl, so I headed over there for some laughs and that, along with working some extra, filled the day. I didn't go to church, because being out in the wind and cold for two nights had ruined my throat. I didn't have much voice!

The most fun I had, though, was getting to go to Waterloo Records with both my kids. I really treasure any time I can spend with Tuba Boy, now, so getting to do stuff with him on his fall break was nice. We all got CDs and listened to parts of them, then had a nice Chinese dinner. I was glad that Tuba Boy insisted I go, even when I hadn't felt like it. And I got more knitting in (I was making mitts for a band kid).

The other good part of the weekend was that I got to talk to Lee a bit more, since he wasn't working the night shift on the weekend. Three weeks is LONG. I hope he makes it!

So, that about catches you up from rainy and chilly Austin. Back to your other blog reading!

Rain Rain for Homecoming

2009-10-09T14:41:00.003-05:00

We had a few nice, if muggy days, but today it rained a LOT. Looks like it's drying off just in time for the Homecoming football game, which will be good! I am looking forward to having Tuba Boy home for a few days on his "fall break." I know he will be busy seeing friends and I will be doing a bunch of stuff too (marching band contests stop for no one), but it will be nice to know he's home for a bit. With Lee out of town, I will take all the large male relatives I can get to fill the house!

And here's a photo of him and Beccano from last week when we visited his college. Each of them had bought the same mirrored sunglasses, separately, and had wanted to show the other one their purchase. Cute. I know Beccano will be glad to have his brother around to go places with this weekend and Monday. I guess I don't have Monday off, but I can work from home, at least.

It's been another busy, busy week of meetings and more meetings. But, an advantage of them is sometimes you get to see newborn babies. This is Fiona at 11 days old. She is blurry because she is a Wiggle Worm! Flings herself back and forth all the time. I do love that name, and it reminds me of a friend we had when my kids were very little. Fiona was a great friend who moved back to England when her husband's time with the weird mathematical software company was over. But we sewed, cooked, knitted and chatted a lot while she was here!

I am excited, because next month I get to start a new tarot and spirituality group. I'll get to resurrect the tarot blog, I guess! Probably I should record the reading I did last week on there, too.

I am looking forward to the next week or so, because Beccano and I got some good food to eat at home, and I don't have quite so many meetings. That will be nice. I've been decluttering a little bit each day, but still, there is a lot to do. I can tell that my bedroom and the media room look better, though! And that is what counts.

I'll try to write more after weekend fun.

Still Here

2009-09-28T18:19:00.002-05:00

I am still here. I think I am just feeling down, off, or something. But I have been busy and doing a lot of stuff--had a bunch of meetings last week and even enjoyed some of them. I am working on setting up a tarot group that will be a good replacement for some of the community I've been missing lately, at least I hope.

I took this rainbow photo before choir last Wednesday. It shows that it has been raining, at least a bit, here. That's been a relief.

Things are OK for Lee and the kids, though I am not looking forward to Lee's upcoming business trip. Glad for the job, though. It enabled me to order new glasses, which means I will see a lot better starting tomorrow or Wednesday.

Wish me luck--I have an in-person interview for an instructional design job I did a phone screening for last week. I really like my current job, but sure would like a permanent position, too! We will see how I do.

I will TRY to write more soon!

Oh, Do Check This Out!

2009-09-21T17:28:00.002-05:00

I forgot to include this in my last post. I may have mentioned my friend Steve Brooks, a local Austin musician and punster (and fellow Unitarian Universalist hippie liberal), here before. He writes some pretty funny satirical songs and poems, and he has a good one that is appropriate for today--about Tom Delay's debut on Dancing with the Stars. I have never seen that show, just heard the yarn shop people talking about it. But, I enjoyed his song. Hope you will, too!

Vacated

2009-09-21T16:12:00.000-05:00

That means we went on a vacation.

You aren't hearing much from me because I am still a grumpy old woman (though nothing is horrible, just normal issues and some health challenges). But how can you be grumpy when a cute dog like Bella comes to visit the office? She belongs to coworker Ted, who just dropped by for a few minutes today to fill out some forms. This is a very interesting shepherd/greyhound mix dog (look at the size of those ears!), who was shy but is getting lots better. I hear about her a lot, so it was great to meet her.

Good news is that Lee, Beccano and I had a mini-vacation over the weekend. We went on the trip to Port Aransas/Mustang Island that has been sponsored by our church every year for a long time. We hadn't been able to go since high school started, due to football games, but this year McNeil had an off week on the right weekend. We decided to take the leap and go. I am glad we did.

We took zillions of photos, all of which are still on the camera--Lee has uploaded them but not me. So, here are the few I took with my phone, which are of people gathered at a potluck. Hello, church people.

It was nice to be around a compatible bunch of folks. It reminds me of what I have liked about the church, even with all the turmoil and issues. It's changing to a different type of church now, but these folks are still the old-school slightly weird people who are there more for community than for how polished the Sunday services are. I do hope the people who are there for a professionally smooth, generic service enjoy that...but I am working on figuring out how to get more community and less generic-ness without having to lose the community. It is nice to know I am not the only one with this issue.

Mostly the guys and I hung around with each other and watched lots of birds feeding (really close to the shore--a great view) and looked at what was in the water. I have never seen the Texas water as clear as it was this weekend. It was as clear as the Caribbean. We saw glowing jellyfish at night, which was also neat--they were little bitty ones that did not sting (though something stung me on the foot, or cut it--I have a moist healing band-aid fixing that right now).

We went to one of those sort of run-down family restaurants for some fish for lunch on Saturday, and it was delicious. Beccano gave the waitress and cook a bit laugh by answering the question, "How do you want your fish cooked?" with "Medium well." We laughed at that one for a couple of hours, and he was good natured about it. He got it grilled!

The birds and scenery were so nice. But the mosquitoes were really scary. I keep forgetting about them. But, not now. I am covered in red marks.

Sunday we beached a bit then went to visit Lee's dad for a while on the way home. Getting there was made stressful by a line for the ferry. Sometimes I wish I could fix things beyond my control, but I tend to just accept them. That doesn't work for everyone, though...and it did not help that I was not feeling well. But, once we got to Lee's dad's house, it wasn't too bad. Even Beccano had a good time driving around the little Mule vehicle that was hanging around. Good driving practice! I got to start the new tractor. That was good for me. I felt very tall and bouncy on the air seat.

The vacation was good. I even got relaxed by the end.

Work is fine, honest. I am enjoying what I am doing and getting to do a lot of new stuff. I think I still get to stay. And tomorrow I get to go to the eye doctor. With insurance. Wow, what a concept.

I am just trying not to worry about how I will do with Lee gone for three weeks soon. It isn't that I can't cope when I am alone. It's just that too many times when someone has gone away, they have come back and left for good after that. But, not all patterns HAVE to be repeated, right?

See why I am not blogging much? My mind is in a strange place. I miss Tuba Boy. I worry about Beccano and school. I get tired of people and politics. I dislike having to sacrifice time with people I like to avoid people who I can't handle right now. Mooshy old Suna. I feel sorta like Beccano looks. Wary and gun-shy. But not sure why.

Woo Doggies

2009-09-13T18:19:00.005-05:00

It's been another emotionally rough week for me. I am still really unhappy with how people have been treating each other. I am watching less television news and blocking some people's Facebook feeds. That helps. And I had a great conversation with some coworkers at lunch one day that made me feel a lot better about how world events are going and what we can do about it. For the most part, I work with incredibly bright people who can share ideas without shutting down the conversation. I have learned a lot from them, and mostly am relieved that these incredibly bright people mostly see things the way I do.

Other worried involve losing communities I care about. My grumpiness has led me to avoid large group gatherings, so I haven't hung around the knitting shop lately. And the need for money has been leading my church community toward a much less unique format that focuses on growth and recruiting new members and less on the things that made it a unique oasis for people for whom a traditional church format didn't work. I am trying to find ways to handle it productively. I joined a new women's group (where I feel very young!) and am taking the classes required to start a "chalice group" (small group ministry). I hope to start a group that focuses on tarot and spirituality, so I will be able to grow close to a small group with similar interests. I hope this is a productive way of handling my issues, rather than whining or talking to the wrong people who will say useful stuff like, "oh, you are just not good with change," or "it's just an experiment." Hmm. I heard THAT at the Dysfunctional Nonprofit Organization, a lot. They're still firmly enmeshed in their craziness.

In good news, we decided to go to Padre Island next weekend with a small group from our church. I used to love to go to those weekends in the Olden Days. There are just 10 groups going, so it should be nice and intimate. I am so glad there is no football next weekend so we could do it! The months after that will be band and more band! This will be Lee's and my first "vacation" with at least one of my kids. And our first outing of more than one day, if we can get dog care!

The other thing I am sorta worrying about is that Lee is going to be teaching in Arizona for most of next month. I am glad he got the new job, but won't enjoy that much time apart. I guess I thought these things were a week at a time, at most. I am sure I can handle it--at least Beccano will be here. Guess I will knit a lot.

Well, I actually had a lot of things to write about, but the wonderful rain we have been having the past few days (yes, we sure needed it!) has really done a number on my poor sinuses. Take care, my 3 readers, and if you want to send me encouragement, you know where to find me!

Labor Day. Hmph. Building Dedication. Yay.

2009-09-07T12:56:00.004-05:00

It is Labor Day in the US. This holiday honors workers. Well, some of them. It honors workers with traditional jobs that have paid holidays, benefits, and such. These lucky folks get a paid day off work every September to rest, shop and hang out with their families.

However, in the US, more and more companies are outsourcing the kind of work I do. That is how Lee lost the job he had when we met. Those of us doing instructional design, tech writing or editing who were laid off from that particular company (and there were more just a week or two ago) are now wandering around Austin looking for work. Most of us need to settle for contract work. ALE only lets you work 9 months at a time, then you must take three months off. Other places have shorter or longer terms. But you never get to relax a bit and concentrate on a job--you are either just learning one or winding down and frantically looking for another one.

And what do contractors do on Labor Day? We sit at home and lose money. No pay for us. I am not sure how Labor Day is honoring us. And gosh, I hope none of us get sick or hurt on Labor Day, since we have no insurance. And it feels so good knowing most of our country's citizens do not give a hoot if we have any or not. If we wanted insurance, we should just go out and get a REAL job. Um, do you have one for me?

I sound bitter. I am trying not to be bitter. It's hard seeing how people in the US are dividing themselves into factions and picking on each other. Respect has been replaced by fear. Fear of each other and our elected officials. Wow, I did not approve of practically anything our previous administration did, but I did not attack his fans, make up reasons to hate anything he did, or prevent my children from listening to him.

Let's talk about something else.

Look, here are some nice photos. This is Rebecca, our choir director at church, hoping she can avoid talking (she didn't) at a really nice ceremony we had that dedicated the music building (an old school portable building) at our church to our beloved founding member, Bill Sauber. He left us a good amount of money for our music programs when he passed away, so we decided to honor him by dedicating the building to him.

Joe, our music committee chair, read Bill's obituary (from 2005), and then 4 or 5 of us shared some memories.
Here I am with the sign we had made and a couple of pictures of Bill. He was a great musician and very intelligent man. I learned a lot from singing with him. He also was an original member of our church, back when it was a lot of fun and very family oriented. Sorry the photo is blurry--no one believes me when I tell them they have to hold the phone still when taking photos with it!

Ricky, the choir director's husband and official church carpenter, hung the sign. What you don't see are all the "helpers" telling him exactly where to hang it. That was pretty funny. Thanks to Sam for taking the picture when my camera filled up.

Lots of good stuff has happened this weekend, tempering my bitterness. Tuba Boy came home for dinner both Saturday and Sunday nights, and I really enjoyed getting to hear how he is doing, what fun he's having, and what he's learning. I really cracked up when he told me in great detail about how he and his dorm companions built a fort in the common area. What a hoot. They are all crawling in there and watching movies on their laptops. Lots of kid left in those young adults!

And as I mentioned on my knitting blog, I taught a bunch of people at a MENSA conference yesterday. Everyone was darned nice and they had some interesting sessions, like clock making. They also had a margarita machine, so they seemed like a fun bunch. I am glad a nice family from church invited me to do this!

Oh, and it rained twice this weekend. Unfortunately one of those welcome rain events (we are in the worst drought in like a hundred years) came during this Friday's football game. Lots of lightning kept the players and band in shelter (buses for us) for about 1.5 hours, but eventually they let us out and had the game. As you can see, it did rain. Don't we look festive in our yellow?

Not only were we wet, but the game was awful. Whew, our team was bad. That always makes sitting on hard aluminum even less fun! On the other hand, it has also been the hottest summer ever here, and the rain kept the temperatures down. So, it could be worse!

More updates next week!

Trying to Be Cheery

2009-08-29T15:01:00.002-05:00

I was saddened to hear that a friend passed away this week. Worried about her husband, their future, etc. Anyway, thinking of Becky's loved ones.

So, to cheer up, here is Beccano's school percussion section playing in a contest. Sure, you can vote for them, if you'd like, but I thought you might enjoy the new band uniforms and his banging (he is the one with all the red hair playing vibraphone).

Yes, marching band season is upon us. The first game was last night, in far-away College Station. We took nice buses, so it was not too bad. The game was really fun--it appeared as if it would be a LONG night, as the other team just scored and scored in the first half. But, then, our team woke up and actually got ahead by a point. But, just for a few minutes. A last-minute try to go back ahead failed, but it was yet another exciting night of Texas high school football. You never know what will happen! The band looked fine, though from the back it was hard to tell what was happening with the show. Next week should be better, and they'll know more. I do enjoy hanging out with the kids. It was so good to be back with "my" bus kids, though I miss the ones that aren't there.

I am glad Lee started his new "real" job. It is a relief to have benefits again. I am wondering how it will go with him traveling so much, but I hope that won't go on too long. It sounds like he will be gone most of October, the big month of band festivals.

And I miss Tuba Boy. I did get to review his first college paper, though, and was quite proud of how well his writing has improved. Still a few too many big words, but I think I wrote like that at 18, myself.

College and Moving On

2009-08-21T10:19:00.003-05:00

I guess enough time has passed that I can write about Tuba Boy (back to that name, since I think I may take this blog public soon) going off to college. We actually had a very good weekend, and I believe he and Debate Boy are having a good first week of first-year classes.

Below is a picture of the "learning-living environment," or whatever they are calling dorms these days, where the boys are now ensconced. Their room is the first floor room in the bend of the building, so you can tell they have a nice view of trees and a pathway out their window. We really lucked out in move-in--there is only one room in the whole school closer to the drop-off point, and that is their suitemates' room, which I think hears a lot of door openings and closings at night. I saw so many fathers looking exhausted from carrying their daughters' many possessions up to the third floor. We, on the other hand, took 5 minutes, since each boy had two family members to help, and hardly brought anything (they had us bring a few more things later, and we did go to Target for more supplies--along with half the school).

Here's a bit of an inside view of their room (right after we brought stuff in--it looks nicer now). The odd shape at least makes a room with cinder-block walls and industrial looking furniture slightly more interesting. To the left is the door to their bathroom, which they share with the suitemates (who have turned out to be their new best buds--real nice guys). Not bad at all. They have a small fridge and we got them a nice flat-screen TV, so they are happy. I am impressed, too, that they actually fixed up their rooms a bit. I think the idea that girls might drop by inspired it. The suite has a small sitting area, and one boy's parents got them a couple of chairs, so that is not bad. Anyway, it's a place a parent can feel comfortable leaving their kid near. There is a building under construction nearby, but it looks like they are close to being done with it, so that noise won't last long. Besides, any new building at that place is gorgeous and fancy, so it will be nice to look at when it is finished!
The school does things in a nice way. Kids move in on Friday, and there is a nice dinner in the very snazzy dining hall (featuring a "Dan Rather Room" that is quieter than the rest of the place). Then on Saturday, the kids get IDs and do other busy things, while the parents attend sessions, punctuated by more lovely meals. It is a nice way to gradually separate. Sunday there is more of that kind of thing (we skipped a couple of events, since we went home every night), and plenty of time to also hang out with your kid. You know, so you can give out last minute advice and such, as I am doing below.

Finally, on Sunday, there is a "convocation" ceremony, which is like the reverse of graduation. All the faculty show up in their academic regalia and file in, very solemly, followed by the new students. Then there are wonderful welcome speeches by the President of the University and others. They all pledge to help each other and abide by the honor code, and everybody sings the alma mater. It was really a nice thing, and I like the idea a lot. After that, we went home and I got weepy, but not too badly. Anyway, very dimly pictured below is the convocation (I forgot to put the camera on the "night" setting).

I have managed to get through this week, and have tried not to bother the boys too much. Just one call and a couple of emails. I just like hearing how they are doing, and what their seminar this week was like. Luckily we got all filled in last night, since last night they came to town to hang out with the kids who hadn't left for college yet. We were able to give them the giant remote control we'd bought them for their TV and used DVD player (which had lost its remote). It has camouflage on it and is quite oversized. They got as much of a kick out of it as the cashier at the electronics store did. The guys stayed at our house a half hour or so and filled us in on all they were doing. Between the two of them, there were lots of good stories!

And in the rest of life, Beccano is tentatively back in a band with Parker, and we will see how that goes. Mending fences. He's still in his other band, too. Can't be too busy. He may also start taking karate again, which I think would be good. He would trade for guitar lessons with his old karate teacher. This would mend fences, too. He left karate rather suddenly during his hard times, and it will be good to see them work together again. I hope this year school goes well for him. Fingers are crossed--you just never know, but I do know he's trying!

Lee's contract job ended on Thursday, with a whimper (no farewell) but that will be fine. He is really looking forward to starting his REAL grown-up job next week. How I envy that! I still love my job, but they have stopped mentioning bringing me on permanently. Oh well, what do I expect?

Parenting Milestone

2009-08-14T09:41:00.004-05:00

Today is a big day, the day my first child "leaves the nest." It is the day you think will take forever to arrive when you look at that tiny infant they hand you after the birth. You envision an endless stretch of childhood, and way in the distance a separation. But, here it is. It's today. We will take a few boxes and suitcases up the road a ways and deposit Tuba Boy, whose name is you can see on the cake (I think that's OK since it won't show up in a search) in his dorm at college.

It's been a week of as much fun and bonding with friends as possible for him. Here's the cake he and his girlfriend made earlier this week. It surely appears that he has a healthy self image, anyway! They had fun, and I even got them to clean up the mess they made baking it!

While he and Debate Girl have been spending a lot of time together, he has also been doing a lot with his other friends who are moving on. A great deal of game playing has occurred, for example. Every night this week he has been at one friend or another's house playing mostly board games. Below you see my kids playing D&D again, with three other boys who are not pictured. They do seem to be having a lot of fun.

Kynan also went to a farewell dinner with his debate coach. He picked up some fine things to take with him to college, like coffee cups and coasters, plus a giant clock. I know they will all miss each other as they move on to new and fun things.

He's still a bit of a kid though. He just realized Lee was waiting for HIM to do his own laundry for two weeks. So he can't pack until that is done. He didn't know what button to push on the washing machine to get it started, so I had to do that in the middle of weird and wild work events.

Work, yes, it is weird and wild. I will be glad when I can get back in the office, since all sorts of roofs are being put on houses in the neighborhood. And I will be glad when the next couple of projects are done, because folks are getting testy. I am being up-beat, though, knowing that this job is WAY better than any of the others I've done the past few years. I actually enjoy all the hubbub.

Lee and I had a nice dinner with one of his coworkers last night. I am looking forward to more relaxing stuff like that once work calms down. I had to miss my knitting group on Wednesday because I couldn't stop what I was doing!

Well, only 3 hours until we leave. Whee.

Hey There! Family Update

2009-08-09T21:27:00.005-05:00

Hello from me and Lee! It's hard to believe we are so calm and relaxed with a child going off to college in less than a week and a whole lot of meetings and work stuff in the next week. But, there we were this morning, waiting for the church Steering Committee meeting, looking happy. We are, basically, a happy couple. In two weeks Lee's "real" job starts, and at least I am still working full time as a contractor, so we can smile.

Beccano is going OK, too. He did a great job finishing summer school, survived his visit to North Carolina, even if his attitude wasn't ideal, and he did not have anywhere near as bad of a time with his first week of summer band as he thought he would--he didn't want to play vibraphone, but he is coping. That makes us proud of him. How could you have a bad time looking this spiffy? This is him wearing a fun paisley shirt he found at the Goodwill store, and his favorite shiny belt that I think we got at the same place last year. Disco boy!

I am much happier with the family member below (Rose) than I have been in a long time. Why? Because Lee bought us a Roomba (robot vacuum cleaner), and it cleans up all the black hair without me having to do it. She is still a bit itchy, but Benadryl has helped a lot. She is shedding quite a bit less.

This family member, Buddy, seems to be feeling a lot better lately. He had been practically crippled for a while (we think he pulled out a toenail), but I saw him running today. I think the new dog food that Lee got for all of them has helped him lose weight, and he feels better. He is barking a LOT less, even at Tuba Boy, and the Rooma is also getting his hair. Yay.

And finally (at least for pictured members), comes Scrunchy. His hair is growing back in and he has lost a significant amount of weight. And he seems very happy and playful lately. I think all the itching was really making him grumpy. Next he will have to get his teeth cleaned, I guess. I am relieved that all the animals seem at least marginally better.

And while I have no photo of Tuba Boy, he seems ready for college, though we are all rather sad to see him and Debate Girl leave for college. They are so much fun to talk to. And it is so much fun to have the Roommate and Debate King coming over, too. I had so much fun listening to them playing Dungeons and Dragons last night. Debate King at one point asked me if it was "OK if I use the 's" word?" I told him they were all legal adults and they can say any word they want. OK, Beccano was there, but he's heard that word before. I will really miss all the new college kids when they go, but at least I have holidays to look forward to!

Lee's dad is feeling so much better that he got a new tractor (see his blog, in the sidebar, for more on that). And my parents are OK. Things are as good as they have ever been here. I am hoping for improved job news next week, but am just fine with things the way they are there. The folks are still fun, fun fun, and the work is hard. That is just fine!

Let's see what comes next!

GOOD Stuff

2009-07-25T18:35:00.003-05:00

See how happy this dog is? That's how everyone feels around our house right now. Even the dogs are feeling better, because the vet told us how much Benadryl to give them to actually help with all their itching issues.

Scrunchy got a clean bill of health at his return check-up, and had already lost two pounds. He is like a new dog. And even Rose and Buddy seem to feel better, though both are still worrying away at certain spots.

So, why are we so happy? Well, if you haven't heard it in person, let me tell you that Lee has accepted an offer of a permanent position at AppleCare (the tech support division of Apple Computers). He will be working with our former boss when we first met, and will have benefits, good pay and all that. The only downside is probably a bit more travel than I would like, but he hopes he won't be doing as much training as some others in that position. Still, he LIKES doing training--this job is doing all things he is good at and enjoys. It's a win-win situation. He was also up for another job, which initially paid better but was less in line with his interests, so it's great that this one panned out.

We are, as you can imagine, thrilled with the prospect of insurance and paid holidays. Perhaps the really long period of worrying about finances and stability will actually be coming to an end, at least for now. In the current economic situation, we consider ourselves incredibly fortunate.

So, what's this a picture of?

Why it's the view out of my office window. What office, you ask? Well, the folks at the slightly wacky contracting gig decided that I ought to come into the office more. And I have been there the last 9 work days. It's made a big difference, though cut into my blogging and knitting time considerably. That's OK, though, because they decided they like me in the office so much that they are going to try to make me permanent. Yep, that's right. If things work out, I might also have a "real" job soon! I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but so far the bosses' boss has said it's OK. I might have to do a wee bit of traveling, but at first it should not be too much.

I have really enjoyed the last couple of weeks in the office. It is honestly a very good bunch of folks to work with. I like everything they ask me to do, and am learning new things as I go along. The office is small, like about ten people, and they are all pretty darned fun and funny. And of course, all very, very intelligent. Scary smart, even. This is just ideal for me.

Plus, as you can see, I am stuck in the "bad" cubicle. Heh heh. The one with a wall of windows looking out onto a bunch of trees. This is NOT bad in my opinion! They've been just great about setting things up for me, and even played a practical joke on me. No complaints whatsoever about any of this. I will keep you posted!

The kids are just fine, and Beccano has finished 2/3 of his summer school. He actually seems to have enjoyed it quite bit. He did a bunch of driver's ed on the computer, too, and just has to get his learner's permit now. Slowy but surely we are making progress.

I have also been doing work on a church committee. Grr. That is less than ideal, but I am doing it well. I feel virtuous for at least trying again. Speaking of church, one of my favorite families is moving to Colorado, so I need to go to that party now. Mary, the mother of the family, was one of the first people to be nice to me and befriend me at the church, so I will miss her, and the rest of them all. I hope they have success and happiness there.

Auspicious Week's End

2009-07-17T15:13:00.003-05:00

I don't get to say this too often, so I am going to relish it. Like relish made from the tomatoes at right, which are found ON MY DESK, which is AT MY WORK PLACE. That's right kiddies, I have been working at the actual workplace for three days this week. I'd begun to think they'd never let me back in the building. I like working from home, but it is easier to ingratiate yourself if you are in the room with people.

So yeah, I even got some tomatoes. Wow. And two free lunches. I will be in the office all next week, too. It sounds like, at last, things are coming together so that I will be able to earn enough to not just get by, but make it--pay off the repairs to Tuba Boy's car, and such, and maybe even SAVE. My fingers are crossed for a real job with those mythical benefits, but this one picking up a bit is the next best thing.

We have also gotten a lot of little bits of good news that have lowered the stress levels around here. Small mix-ups with the college seem to have been taken care of--and Tuba Boy did a lot of it himself. Beccano did his first week of summer school, and that was not as bad as he had feared, either.

Lee has strong prospects of good news about work, too, so our fingers, toes and imaginary other appendages are all crossed. Plus, it appears that his dad's situation may get taken care of by his niece and her husband buying out the farm and living there. His dad would have someone to take care of him, and they'd have some income to supplement their other work. That really does sound like a good plan to me. Who knows how it will all work out, of course, but at least things are looking up!

I'm not giving up my blog for Facebook, by the way. You get to share more deeply and be a bit more coherent on a blog. I love the immediacy of FB, and I am especially grateful to have re-connected with some old friends (and made new ones) there. But, I won't be giving this up any time soon. Now that I feel a little better about things, I may be writing more, too.

Waiting Game

2009-07-12T13:10:00.002-05:00

There isn't too much going on here, but there is nothing wrong with that. Last week was LONG, since there was no work (contract hadn't been signed). But then yesterday they called begging me to work this weekend. Happy to do it at time and a half, but I can't do it until the dude produces work for me to do, so I spent much of yesterday waiting (finally got the work at 2 and had to rush and get it done by 6) and am now doing the same today. I missed a book signing (The Day-Glo Brothers, written by Chris Barton, who goes to my church) yesterday. Today I have missed church and am missing the Steering Committee.

At least last night I got to go out and hear my friends Jim and Sherry play music at a house concert. I miss their rock and roll act, but they sounded pretty good with just a fiddle player accompanying them. I enjoyed doing the harmonies from the back row (I learned all their older songs when Jeff used to play guitar for them for a number of months). At least I made it out of the house!

I've enjoyed having teen visitors. Beccano and the Debate King even got to jam on guitars Friday night. That sounded so nice. I love having live music in the home!

Beccano even grudgingly started his driver's ed again. Let's see if he keeps it up.

Lots of worrying about the elderly is all the rest of life has brought. Lee's dad seems ready to sell everything off and fade away. That is sad, but I can see why he feels that way. My stepmother isn't sounding too good, either, so perhaps it is good they moved into an old folks condo, though Dad is really not ready. Jeff's mother is planning to move into one of those, here in Austin, fairly soon, too, so we all have parental worries.

It is so hot here that you can't really do anything outdoors. It has been over 100 degrees every day for ages. It wears you out. So, I will go wait for work for a while longer and feel grateful for air conditioning. I am trying not to envy Kelli's extended stay in Paris TOO much...

Hey, Look, It's July

2009-07-06T09:48:00.005-05:00

I am an
Echinacea

What Flower
Are You?

So, my blogging friend and homeowner as of tomorrow, Dragonfly, did this one, and I am such a copy cat. Actually, I don't have much to yammer on about, so this assertion that I am some health-conscious fanatic will give you something to think about (if indeed, you are reading, since I am not sure anyone actually does!).

I would rather be a pansy. They are colorful, like cool weather, and every one of them is different. My kind of flower. So, what flower would YOU like to be? Post a comment and let me know. That would make me happy.

There is not much to post about, which is a blessing, I guess. No huge stresses right now, other than my poor spouse feeling so sick he couldn't go in to work today (contractors will drag themselves in when they feel pretty bad, thanks to no sick days!).

Scrunchy the pug is feeling better. He just licks his legs a bit now. You can see his comfy new halter in this photo. All the scabs are falling off from where he was scratching so much, and hair is starting to grow back, even. He still has a couple of days left of steroids and antibiotics, but he definitely is doing better.

The other two dogs seem to be itching less since I put flea medicine on them, had the yard treated, and sprayed all their bedding. We still have some freakishly irritating brown bugs in our upstairs, which we cannot find the origin of, but I think no more fleas. Both Rose and Buddy seem itchy still. Buddy licks and licks on his legs and seems to hurt, but we can't figure out where. Hopefully Lee will feel better soon and use the very expensive clippers I bought for him to clip Buddy and that will help. I am sort of at a loss for what to do with the dogs and their issues, though I think I may take Rose to the vet this week for a check-up, now that she will wear a collar (yay, she likes her comfy one).

The kids have been laying low and enjoying their vacation. I am having little success getting Tuba Boy to apply for jobs, or to do any of the other little things he needs to do. This week I will continue to speak strongly and not provide treats, I guess. Beccano is learning hard songs on the guitar, enjoying visits from his girlfriend, and eating donuts. Summer is so nice. Well, he starts summer school soon enough!

Lee's dad went straight from his second stay in the hospital to the local nursing home (not sure if I posted that or not). It's the quaint old one in his home town, so at least he is where he wants to be. I am sad that he has had to sell his cows. But, he made sure to sell them to someone who is going to keep them. They were SO tame. The plan is that he will only stay in the home three weeks, then he should be well enough to go back home and I guess start looking for a place to live in Yorktown. Without the cows, there isn't much reason to stay on the farm. This is rather sad.

So many of my friends are having pretty hard issues with their elderly parents. I am happy to know that Jeff's mother is probably going to move to a facility here in Austin. I like her so much and will enjoy being able to see her more.

I also have a couple of friends with health issues, family health issues or friend ones. Big ones. I am especially worried about a friend whose husband's testicular cancer seems to have spread. They are such a sweet family and have had so many troubles the past few years, but are always kind and giving to others. Most of you don't know them, but please think of a nice family in Michigan and send healing thoughts, good vibes, or prayers, which ever you do.

We had an incredibly hot Independence Day, a record 105 degrees (that will be 41C!). We managed to go listen to Jeff play at Lake Austin, and were joined by our friend Austin, who brought us some lovely figs. We got home in time to take care of Buddy while it sounded like a war was being fought outside our house. Drought? Who cares! Let's set of professional fireworks in a crowded neighborhood!

Flowers help me feel better, so to end on a happier note, enjoy these lilies from a bouquet Lee bought me last week. What a lovely shape. Another happier thought: my work is going well and another friend got her dream job and gets to escape a really bad work situation. All that is GREAT.

Life is a mixed bag, isn't it? That is comfortingly normal! Hey, leave a comment and let me know what flower you are, if you would like!

Some Wellness, Some Sickness

2009-06-28T16:15:00.002-05:00

The good news here is that the medicine is really helping Scrunchy, and his skin is no longer bright pink. His horrible sores are healing and his licking is down to a normal dog level. I got both him and Rose new "clothing"--both made of hemp or something like that. Scrunchy has a dark green halter and Rose has a purple collar. They seem very sturdy but have incredibly soft linings, so even Rose isn't horribly bothered by hers. She still has it on after two days! For her that is a record.

I put Advantix flea stuff on all the dogs, and Rose and Buddy both seem to feel better. I also sprayed some stuff where they sleep and will have the pest control people spray the lawn. Maybe that will keep me from having to take the other two dogs in for killer drugs like Scrunchy is on.

The bad news is that Lee's dad relapsed and is back in the hospital again. They decided he wasn't completely rehydrated when he went home before, so is in there longer. It was scary because he got put in by his doctor and didn't tell anyone, so the family rushed to find him to see if he'd died at home, but luckily a relative found him at a hospital by calling all in the area until she found him. Gee whiz. He could have asked to have a relative notified.

But Lee stayed home this weekend to try to get work done in the yard, even though it has been 103-105 degrees all week (in Celsius that is "too hot for humans to survive"). I've had a bit of trouble with the heat so am staying inside. We did have a nice dinner with church friends last night, though again it was the "gluten free" bunch, so the food was interesting. All edible though, and they did eat my salad! It's interesting how many more people have a variety of food issues these days!

I guess I'll leave you at that, and see who else my age has died in the last few hours. Someone said that Facebook is becoming Deathbook, with all the "RIP" posts. I'm not surprised when sick people or people who live marginal and dangerous lifestyles die, but poor ole Billy Mays was just a nice guy who can sell stuff--he seemed pretty healthy...

Another Sick Dog

2009-06-24T12:11:00.003-05:00

We had to take Scrunchy in to the vet's today. His itching has gotten out of control. Usually he is itchy for a week or two and it ends, but this time he has it a lot worse. His skin is all pink and he has messed up a bunch of areas, including his rear and a horrid spot on the side of his neck. Of course, that is infected. I will spare you a photo of it. I have few enough readers as it is!

So, Tuba Boy and I took him in and the vet said it is probably allergies, but she also found a little flea dirt on him, so we had to get the flea stuff, too. We have never really had a flea issue here, but there's always a first time. I got flea stuff for Rose as well, but since Buddy has never been to that vet, could not get him any.

Scrunchy now has to take a complicated schedule of steroids plus a long course of antibiotics, all of which we have to magically get him to ingest without making him fatter. The dang pug is 40 pounds. I will have to beg Lee to feed him less, again. I swear we feed him less than the other dogs. A lot less. So, when we take him back to get his vaccinations and such, I will see if he has a thyroid issue. Yes, we couldn't get the vaccinations because of the steroids. Whee.

We need to get Rose in, too. The county we live in fines you $500 if your dog is found loose without a $5 permit. I got one for Scrunchy. Of course, since she won't wear a collar, I do not know what we will put it on.

The vet also said Scrunchy's corneas are hardening, but this is a normal thing as dogs age, not what Gwynnie had. I realize now that he is the age she was when she started to go downhill. Sigh.

Pets. You can't live with them and you can't live without them.

Hair Fun?

2009-06-19T13:52:00.006-05:00

Today we had the excitement of getting up early and having our hair cut (mine colored, hardly cut at all).

Beccano is growing his hair (duh). Last year I cut his bangs, and he was not pleased, thus refusing to let it be touched until after school was out this year. His goal was to get rid of the two-tiered effect on the current look. This is about 6" being cut off, though it looks like less due to all the curling. You can see that it also looked pretty frizzy.
Here is an action shot of Robert at the JC Penney salon in action. Look how long his hair was when wet! It was down to the middle of his back! We knew that it would need to be 4 inches past his shoulders in order to be shoulder-length when dry, so it was cut to those specifications.

Here it is once it was dried. I was going to add a picture of the front, but Blogger is acting funky and when I cut the photo, it would not paste. I also lost some text because Ctrl-V is not working. Grumble. But doesn't the lovely red hair look better now? Less frizz and more organized. Still long enough for excellent rocking and rolling.

And this is me, showing all my chins, but also the attempt at getting my hair back to its natural color. However, this is some kind of goth looking black hair. It is my firm belief and hope that after a couple of washes it will fade to pretty much my original darkish brown and stay that way. I just got tired of how red hair dye turns that nasty color when it gets old, no matter how careful you are to wash with the right stuff, etc. I'm not sure why, but he hardly cut any off. I guess the hair dresser likes long hair. It's fine this way I guess!

Not much else is going on. I have spent some nice time with friends and knitted a lot while waiting for next week's intense work projects. Lee's dad is recuperating fine, and we are now hoping he won't have to leave the farm after all. Tuba Boy is still off in Alabama, but has received his roommate information and first-year seminar info for college. That is exciting to both him and Future Roommate.

Calm

2009-06-17T08:58:00.002-05:00

Ah, it's a rare calm period right now. No school issues, no work issues (I have nothing this week, but they TOLD me about it, and I know I have stuff coming up...I can relax), a respite from Lee's dad's issues...I am soaking up the calm. The worst problem is that Scrunchy the Pug is really itchy and scratching himself up. Lee has tried Benadryl in small doses. We will see how that goes.

Of course, that does not make for fascinating blogging. I know it's fascinating that Deana came over yesterday and I helped her upload photos to Ravelry. And that she brought cookies, which are all gone now! Or perhaps you will be intrigued that Beccano and I went BOTH to the bank AND the grocery store yesterday and survived the oppressive 100+ degree heat. Well, that did result in a delicious meal including fresh vegetables as well as the most sweet and perfect strawberries I've had in ages (plus, I am dehydrating the rest of the berries and some bananas).

It's rather quiet without Tuba Boy, who seems to be having an OK time in Alabama, observing a debate tournament. I hope his friend does well!

I have a very clean house right now. We got the vacuum cleaner fixed, so I am keeping up with the dog hair, and being home more means I can keep the kitchen clean and keep down the clutter in other rooms. I always feel more calm when my house is clean enough that I don't feel embarrassed to have people over! I haven't felt OK about the house since that brief moment before the wedding when it looked good. We just have to get rid of an entertainment center and TV in the dining room and I will be A-OK. We just can't give the stuff away, so I guess it's Craigslist time.

All this gives me time to send a lot of empathy and sympathy to the people in Iran. I worry about them a lot. Every Iranian I have ever met has been a reasonable, nice and moderate person (OK a few were rather liberal, I must say). They've been the kind of Muslims that truly exemplify the peaceful aspects of the religion. I realize that the people in charge will still not be pro-US, no matter what happens, but I know a bit more of a moderate government would make things easier for women and moderates there. So, I am thinking of them all.

Worried and Hail Pix

2009-06-14T08:21:00.003-05:00

Lee got a call this morning from his niece that said his dad was not doing well. Can't get out of bed and is shaking. So Lee ran off to the farm as soon as he could put together some stuff. I hope it is something easy to deal with--we can't miss work, being contractors. It is so hard being far from your elderly parents. Especially stubborn ones who won't TELL you when they need you.

It will be a lonely time here. Yesterday, Tuba Boy set off on his graduation gift trip to Alabama with his debate friends. So, today it's me and Beccano. He will play me some music to entertain me as I continue to mess up my knitting, I guess.

Think of Lee and his dad, please.

I also thought I'd share a few photos from the hail storm from Thursday. The top one is one of the bigger hail stones and this one shows how it really knocked all the leaves off the porch plants and decor items. Hail blew sideways--also there are a lot of dents in the garage doors. Sigh.

Update: Lee's dad made it to the hospital in Cuero and is getting fluids. They are checking to see if there are abdominal issues. I am glad the stubborn fellow let Lee take him in!

Hello from Work, Which Is Home

2009-06-11T10:34:00.003-05:00

And that's part of the problem--when you work from home, you get all of the stuff that goes with being home. Sometimes that's good. You can get food, take a break and clean something, watch TV, etc.

But for the past couple of weeks my work has involved recording audio for e-learning courses. To record sounds, you need to not have other sounds competing. I am very lucky that I am using my new computer, which has a stereo microphone that is very focused at only what is coming directly at it. A lot of sounds don't come through.

But, some challenges from the past couple of days have included:

The garbage truck, not only when it is on our street but when it is on the next street. And don't forget the separate recycling truck. Each sets off the dogs for many blocks.
The "lovely" people behind us and their screeching children in their pool. There is no way to go swimming without screeching, it appears.
Our avian friends. Mostly it is mockingbirds, which I love, but are very loud in a tree like 6 feet from your window. I have also "enjoyed" mourning doves, blue jays and warblers. The wrens don't register, thankfully. I hear a dove right now.
Freakin' dogs. Actually, mine are a lot better now that Gwynnie is gone, and mostly just bark if people arrive or (gasp) Tuba Boy walks down the hall. Buddy has to alert me to that. Right now they are outside and setting off neighbor dogs for unknown reasons.
The house cleaners. Yes, I am very lucky to have house cleaners--that's one reason we need two incomes. I've been vacuuming like a fiend anyway, but it's worth it to have the bathrooms clean. Only, well, between them running the showers and vacuuming, recording is a challenge. And I had to take my entire set-up to the guest room so they could clean my room.
Why am I working in my bedroom. That's right--as I mentioned before, Skylight thinks me reading aloud is an invitation to converse in Parakeeteese.
Sounds the computer makes. I have turned off my email from coming in automatically and making that precious mail noise, but my anti-virus software decided to ding at me during a particularly long stretch of reading earlier today. Sigh.

What's the good news? I think I'll have worked every day this week, the first time since I started the new job. This means that I will be able to pay college and even get the Visa back down to zero again soon. If it will just keep up a while, gasp...I may be able to SAVE money. I don't want to jinx myself of course, but I am really glad things have turned around for a while.

I'll write about other stuff soon. I just had to do something while all the vacuuming and shower running were going on. Ahh, the mockingbird has started up again...

Catch-up 4: Graduation

2009-06-05T19:48:00.004-05:00

Yay, this should be the final "catch-up" post for today! I am sure the one of you who reads this is having a great day of staring at photos and seeing my descriptions. I am not at my creative peak!

But, the front door says it all. I guess I have reached the initial "goal" of parenthood: I have a child who graduated successfully from high school. I guess Tuba Boy has put down the tuba and is ready to pick up...um...the fancy laptop he got from his dad, I guess! I am very proud of his high school achievements, mostly gained without all that much effort, so I am hoping he kicks it up a notch in the fall. Right now, though, he gets to enjoy himself a bit.

The day started with me doing a bunch of work starting at 6 am, so I'd be sure to get all I needed to do done. Then the kids' dad came to pick me and Beccano up to go to the ceremony, which was in downtown, where we saw Bruce Springsteen. Lee had a bunch of work to do, since graduation was at noon on a Wednesday, and could not afford to lose the hours. So I took a lot of pictures. I was glad that the ex gave us a ride, since there was no real easy parking. We got a spot just fine, though. I'm glad I put on a skirt and top and made Beccano wear a shirt that buttoned, since the ex wore his suit. I think it is nice to treat graduation seriously, though. A lot of people's families did not.

Anyhow, the above is the empty auditorium. Space for LOTS of graduates: over 600.

I'll spare you photos of lines of matching teens marching in, or the cool thing the ROTC did by making living stairs for the flag bearer to climb. Here we have Snow, the saludatorian, delivering his speech. It was a really enjoyable one, very human. Turns out it was his original speech that he was supposed to change around and make more perky. While I felt badly for the nice debate coach who rewrote the speeches for the principal, I do think the kids' originals were fine. I am happy they stuck with their guns. Neither speech was lewd or crude. I mean, for heaven's sake, these were stereotypical brilliant Asian-American kids--they weren't going to incite a riot!
There is only one highlight to graduation that matters to each family, and that is seeing their kid shaking hands and getting the diploma. Here Tuba Boy is doing just that. (Photos I took sometimes were blurred because I used the "night" setting and had to try to hold still.) I can tell that's him, though, shaking hands with Dr. Chavez the superintendent. That guy had to be dead tired after shaking 3000 hands on Wednesday!
Afterwards, we tried to get photos of Tuba Boy in his regalia, but by the time we found him, he was already trying to strip it off. But, we did snag this lovely image of him and Brilliant Girlfriend (look at all the stuff she had to wear on top of her gown--cords, tassels, mantels, awards!). Tuba Boy had a medal for getting an A average and for completing some rigorous set of standards. Go him.
And just one final shot to show that Tuba Boy's parents are very proud of him. His mother wishes she didn't look quite so...rotund. And this is after losing at least ten pounds! Oh well, just look at those lovely kids, with wonderful futures ahead of them.

We had a very late lunch at Chuy's restaurant near our house after the ceremony and a lot of traffic. I know the kids enjoyed a chance to dine with their parents, and the parents survived quite nicely. I guess we are all happy where we are in life and can now enjoy our family, in whatever configuration. Maturity. It shows up eventually, I guess!

That night we enjoyed a really fun party at Future Roommate's house. I had a great time talking to all the kids, and so did Beccano, who got to talk music with some of the "good" older musicians. The seniors tossed water balloons and had all kinds of fun. I'm glad I got to go to a party. And Lee at least got to show up there and give greetings (the kids' dad went home after we ate).

Tuba Boy has been partying ever since, and just driving around and having fun, visiting the school, being with friends. He is really looking forward to his gift from us, which is a trip to Alabama to see his friend Morgan compete at the national debate tournament. If I have already blathered on about this, forgive me. I can't remember what I typed...

Catch-up 3: Senior Bridging Ceremony

2009-06-05T14:53:00.004-05:00

One of the neat traditions of our church is the senior bridging ceremony, which acknowledges that high school seniors and home schooled students who are heading to college are now adults in the eyes of the community.
Here are most of our seniors (one was late and I have no idea what happened with another one, plus a third is still at her boarding school, where she turned her life around for the better). They all appear to be looking with some apprehension toward the future!
Tuba Boy is receiving his box in this picture, as Rev. Kathleen (remember her from the wedding?) beams on. What is the box? Every year, Patty, who is handing over the box, makes a lovely little "instant Unitarian Universalist service" box for each senior. In it are various things that will allow a student to set up a little UU altar in his or her dorm, apartment or room! It has a tiny chalice and candle (UUs, for some reason, put flaming things in chalices rather than water--more info at uua.org). There was also some incense, which has already been burned, and some symbols of the four directions, and a nice booklet of UU sayings. It is a very sweet tradition.
Apparently, some very good joke was told after Tuba Boy got his box, which made the adults (all UU "elders" who have been in the deonomination at least 25 years) laugh their heads off. The girl at right says the look on her face scared her own self!

I was so glad that I convinced my son to go to the ceremony. I think it meant a lot to him, and I know the congregation loved seeing the kids.

Catch-up 2: Birthday Fun

2009-06-05T09:26:00.003-05:00

We did celebrate Beccano's birthday, the day after the real occasion. We went to our favorite local Chinese restaurant, and got our favorite waitress, so all was well with that.

Beccano got to open a few presents, knowing that his big gift was that purple amp (a very popular household item at the moment). His gift from Tuba Boy hadn't arrived yet, but it did get here yesterday. It's an incredibly lifelike Kurt Cobain action figure, complete with strings on the guitar, a music stand and a microphone.

His other gift, which he bought with his birthday money, was a music playing device that looks like an old radio but has a turntable, CD player and radio in it...plus an Ipod doc. He is so happy to be playing Lee's and my old albums.

When our meal was over, the waitress brought him a slide of German Chocolate Cake. We all enjoyed it. We'd had so much fun with the waitress that Beccano decided to draw her a picture and write a message in the chocolate syrup. That is one artistic boy. I know he is so talented.

Sigh, I am now off to a conference with his school counselor to find out about taking summer school, because he managed to fail Geometry. He simply does not seem to realize he has not done his work. I have no idea how to fix this, but perhaps summer school will encourage him to not do that any more. I dread hearing the little lecture on "he should do his work" and "you should check the Home Access Center daily to see if he is missing something." Oh well, I'll live.

More updates to come later.

Catch-up 1: Band Banquet

2009-06-05T09:07:00.003-05:00

I got behind on all my blogging, so I am going to post separate posts about some of the recent events. One fun thing (sort of) that we did was attend the band banquet held for the kids' band. It was much bigger than it had been in the past, which led to some issues--the food lines were so long that a lot of people just decided to not eat.

But Tuba Boy and Brilliant Girlfriend both looked lovely for the occasion. Such young adults! Another of their debate friends came (Future Roommate), so she had someone to talk to during the endless awards and such. We also had at our table two moms--Future Roommate's mom (and my future college parenting buddy) and the mother of one of Beccano's friends, because he didn't want her sitting with him. The rest of our table was the older members of the tuba section. A lot of very tall, funny young men.
Here is an example of how nicely the band kids cleaned up--two of my bus buddies looking very distinguished! The one on the left is the one whose mom I sat with. I am so proud of these kids--they really brighten my day, and it was fun to hear what "awards" they got nominated for.

Here are two other denizens of the sophomore buddies' table. Beccano was fairly gracious about the fact that he had to do the banquet on his birthday. He even smiled as they sang happy birthday to him (this really impressed his friends, who didn't know that Tuba Boy and I had arranged it). I love this photo, because it looks like the two friends are mirror images of each other. R. had just cut all his hair off, and Beccano has not. And their shirts and ties are opposite. They looked so cute together.
I wore my extremely orange dress. I look like I am wearing wallpaper. But, even though my closet is 50% lighter right now, I kept it. I need a couple of dresses! I am with Lisa, who as always looks really, really nice. Her older son who is Tuba Boy's age went to another high school (arts magnet), but her younger one is at our school, so we got to hang out!
The banquet went on and on and on and on, and the food was really watery Mexican-ish stuff. But, it was so nice to see this happy group of seniors get their due. It was worth it. We had some very good musicians, but also some very hard workers. I know their band experience will benefit them in the future, even if they don't do more music.

Quick Update

2009-06-02T16:40:00.002-05:00

I have a whole bunch of stuff to blog about, but got into a cleaning frenzy so I ran out of time. My closet has had at least half of its contents removed. I feel like I didn't waste all my unemployed days. Boy have I been stressed about the lack of work, though.

The good news is that work called and I have something to do the rest of the week that is fun, fun, fun. I am recording voiceovers on online instructional stuff. Whee. I get to use fun software, and listen to the sound of my own voice. Which is fun. Funny: I tried to do it in the media room where I usually work, but every time I started to talk, the bird started to sing. When I stopped, she stopped. I think she thought I was talking to her.

So far a bunch of kids have visited (last day of school), the dogs barked, etc., but I am plowing through these big ole words I don't understand, like I know what I am doing!

More soon--lots of parties, events, and tomorrow: Tuba Boy graduates!

Senior Moments

2009-05-25T17:15:00.005-05:00

There hasn't been much going on with me other than a lot of work, then a lot of rest. I guess that's the pattern. Either they don't need me or they need me 12 hours a day. Hmm. But, with Tuba Boy's last couple of weeks of school in full gear, we've been doing lots of school stuff.

Thursday was the debate banquet. At this event, the star debaters get to give speeches (Tuba Boy's partner and girlfriend did, but not him), then the teacher makes a tribute to each. These were enjoyable, even if Tuba Boy was called a "space alien." In this photo, Tuba Boy is second from left on the bottom, and Brilliant Girlfriend is center on the top row. TB's partner is far left and his future roommate in college is third from the right on the bottom row. The teacher, who is moving on to law school, is on TB's other side. The one in the yellow shirt and tie is the most decorated debate student in the school's history, and the reason they are all going to the national tournament to cheer him on this summer.

I think debate was really a great thing for TB, even if he wasn't the star student. He did well this year, and has really learned an incredible amount of information about history, politics, philosophy and argumentation. He's a lot easier to talk to now--his arguments make sense. And he met some great kids--the team really is like a family, which they stressed over and over. This is probably the thing I am most glad he did in high school. And looking this bunch over, I realize that I have known at least three of those kids since first grade, and a couple of others since elementary school. Wow. They grew.

The next night was the band concert. We got there early to hear the jazz band, which has some of my bus buddies on it, including the only girl, who is on keyboards. I know she listens to music all the time at home (she calls her dad and his friends "The Singing Asians" and says they sing way too long and hard). I'm glad she's getting the chance to do jazz! They sounded so good. I wish more folks heard them.

Then came Beccano's band, the lowest one on the totem pole, which he was put in to be the rhythmic heart, or something like that. You can see his flaming hair, front and center. Well, he was the only percussionist in that band who actually showed up at the concert, which is good because he had a rather difficult and quite audible snare part. I am proud of him for sticking with this change of band, which messed up his schedule and contributed to his English class problems. Ahem. I will move on.

Tuba Boy was in wind ensemble again this year. He was in it during 10th grade, then "demoted" last year after he had all the trouble pining for that first girl he liked, who left him for a "bad boy." Here he is second tuba from the left, though I guess you can't see them in the picture. Their concert has one song that was fairly unpleasant, but ended with a rousing march, the most familiar one to most people, "National Emblem March." What was special about that was the guest conductor was a lady whose friends bid at a silent auction on the chance to conduct the band on one song--she had been a music minor and always wanted to be a band director, but instead became a high-powered lawyer. She did a fine job, and is being congratulated in the photo.
As always, though, the best part of band is the friends. Though we miss Parker since the rock band break-up fiasco, Beccano still has some great friends, like these guys. I am glad to know these kids, too. And after the concert, both my fine sons and Brilliant Girlfriend joined us at Mesa Rosa for a really fun dinner. We all have so much fun laughing and telling stories together. No matter what else goes wrong, these kids cheer me up!

Our final photo is just some evidence that the kids have a lot of fun with each other. Beccano awoke from a nap one day last week to find that TB and Brilliant Girlfriend had decorated his room with this lovely clingy Ariel thing. It certainly fits in with the underwater theme of his room--note that he recently installed blue lights in his fixture. Sadly, she's fallen down and I don't think she will be replaced, especially since Beccano had a female friend visit yesterday and that ain't too macho.

We have no photos yet from the rest of the weekend, but did go see Jeff play at a fancy restaurant Saturday night during a downpour. We almost didn't get in (Lee, Beccano, Martha from church and I), because we were told the music area was full. Well, I sauntered over to say hi to Jeff before we left, and found the room had space--it had been reserved for the "Austin Social Club," and the lady in charge gave us seats. That was so nice of her! Plus, we met a couple of nice middle-aged ladies and had some good conversation. So, that was a success. We even went out for ice cream afterwards. Since Martha's daughter was supposed to be with her that weekend but had to go to a funeral instead, it was good that we could take her out and cheer her up. It is simply good that we can be friends after all we've gone through!

The rest of the long weekend (US Memorial Day) has been full of planting some new plants, resting and for Lee, at least, a long motorcycle ride. I taught a lady to knit contenental and helped sell some yarn at the shop. Keeps me out of trouble.

Rock and Roll Sweet 16

2009-05-20T13:21:00.003-05:00

Beccano's birthday isn't until next Friday, but he found the gift of his dreams online, and Lee and I went ahead and ordered it for him. We figured it would take forever to ship a huge guitar amp by land, so it was quite a surprise when the UPS guy knocked yesterday, with two huge and heavy packages. Of course I was just coming out of the shower...but I let him bring them in. Then, of course, I could not hide them.

So, I "decorated" them with the signs in this picture. There was a better one of Beccano looking all confused, but the camera was on the setting, so he was rather blurry.

It says "Mysterious Birthday Surprise. What could it be?" Like he didn't know he sent us the link, etc. Don't mind the mess in the "dining room." We still haven't found something to do with Jeff's old entertainment center, so it is greeting all visitors and making me embarrassed, though not as much as the incredible amounts of hair Rose is shedding. Even after her bath and brushings.

He got right down to opening it up. Here he is gracefully tugging at the head. It's purple, as you can see. I think that's why it was nearly 50% off at Guitar Center. Well, he has nothing against purple and it is his dream gift: a Marshall Half Stack. Apparently this is a good amp. Jeff says it is "too big" but I think Beccano's planning on different venues than Jeff frequents.

We moved it to a less obtrusive location, but still in the dining room. I've spent a bit of time today trying to arrange the furniture a bit better in there and the family room. I guess if I am not going to be working much, I can spend my time decluttering (once we have air conditioning, that is).

I only have worked one day this week, and no signed papers for that. But they will be billed, since I worked 9 pm to about 3 am! Weird place, it turns out. I love doing the work and really like the people a lot, but it seems they have less than they said they would. Why oh why can nothing work out positively? But, I am throwing myself back into job search mode. I applied for one I really liked today, but who knows if it will come through. I am about to see if I can just work in a coffee shop or something. My nerves are having trouble coping. At least that ruins my appetite so my weight is good.

We just found out we are getting an all-new air conditioning system for our top floor. Just what the struggling family with college expenses and one barely-employed wage earner needs!

Lots of kid and graduation stuff coming up, so I promise to any of you who are actually still here reading this that there will be some happy fun posts.

Well, Beccano's amp is happy and fun. It is great to listen to! He will have hours and hours of fun trying out different settings and making lots of noise! And it's purple!

Not Again...

2009-05-18T10:45:00.003-05:00

Well, still no word from the wonderful new job, so I am looking for something else again. I am so incredibly tired of doing this. And I am trying to figure out a book to write, patterns to sell, or something.

I wish something would work out.

Here is a picture of how cute our dog is. He reminds me that I enjoyed a nice party Saturday night, featuring lots of raw and gluten free food, and I enjoyed a nice piano recital by our church choir director. That stuff is all good.

At Least It's Raining

2009-05-16T16:21:00.003-05:00

It hasn't been exactly the perkiest of few days. Just little worries or disappointments, but they put a damper on things. First, I had no work other than Monday of this week, and I haven't heard anything from them since Tuesday. I do not know if I have screwed up or if it's something totally not to do with me. I am trying to think it's the latter.

And Beccano didn't get into drumline at school, which had him irritated, especially since two incoming freshmen did. He had done a lot of extra work prior to the try-outs, gone to a bunch of after-school practices and stuff, but to no avail. I guess at this rate he'll never get to march. I have not been pleased with his band teacher all year--he moved him to a lower band (not a punishment, I kept being reassured) and that took him away from a really good English teacher. He pretty much ignored the percussion people who weren't the top students for most of the year. I don't think band did much for the boy this year. To top that off from his band being broken up with no warning, and a bunch of really odd actions on the part of his "friends," it's not been too great of a time for him. But, he copes fine and has a way of forgiving things that is very admirable. Just a series of disappointments.

I hadn't made any horribly productive use of my "time off" by Friday, so since Beccano was home sick from school, I decided he could help me to pet stuff. We got a new water dish and food dish to replace ones that had broken, and some anti-itch shampoo (because the pug has been itching). We also got a really nice long-toothed metal comb. First we used the comb on Rose (seen above looking pissed off). I got a large grocery bag full of icky, dirty hair off her. She actually looks like she has lost weight now. Then we washed Scrunchy, which was not too bad. Washing Rose was another story. She was less impressed with that than she was the brushing. But, by gosh, I got her clean, and I put some nice rinse on it that has her fur looking considerably better. I trimmed matts from it, and I just know her skin feels better.

While both dogs had been acting itchy, neither has fleas (yay). I think the pug has anal gland issues and needs a shot of whatever it is that has helped him with his itchy periods in the past, but I don't think I can afford to take him in.

That is because our upstairs air conditioning unit seems to have stopped making cold air. Ugh, another huge bill coming up--right when there's no work and the car insurance is due. And guess what else? Beccano will be 16 and we had to get his extra cool gift, plus of course we need to pay for Tuba Boy's graduation gift. YIKES! No wonder I am a little stressy.

At least I am prepared to handle stress. I did go to the doctor this week and get my fine anti-anxiety medication renewed. I realize that paying for the visit and the meds is WAY less than it would have been to pay for individual insurance, so I am coming out ahead. Still, I need to have a whole bunch of things done that I have put off...pap smears, icky tests you get done at 50, etc. So, wow oh wow I wish a real job would materialize. I am looking again, never fear.

Good things, of course, abound. And I don't forget them. I am still smiling every time I see the picture of the labyrinth on the wall. And I got to play with TWO babies at the yarn shop today!

Well, this is just a stream-of-consciousness blather but at least it's a post. I hope you are well and that good things are happening to you.

Another Visit to the Farm and a Nice Mother's Day

2009-05-11T18:02:00.005-05:00

So, I may not be able to blog as often lately, but I have a big ole post for you today. I just thought I'd share some photos and stories from this weekend with those of you who manage to visit this little blog...

Lee and I went back down to the vortex between Yorktown and Nordheim, Texas to see his dad again over the weekend. It was a very lovely drive, as you'll see below. It rained a lot right after all the crops got planted, so everything was quite green. And the three black cows from last visit had turned into 6! The calves are very tame, and as a matter of fact, Lee's dad was napping with the cows when we came up. That's right, he was all curled up next to one of the Mama Cows, with a baby next to him. Yep, that's some tame cattle. One calf was born in January, one in February and one in March. Just one is a little boy.
Here Ernest is talking to one of the calves. They listen quite hard to him. We enjoyed visiting with them, and watching the Mama Cows licking each other's babies and nursing. They sure have enough nice green grass this year!

The corn is up and looks good. Here it is at a nice sunset angle. We were trying to get back to the farm in time to get a nice photo of the sunset, but those are fleeting, you know. Lee also tried to get some full moon photos, but had no luck wrestling with his still-new camera. We had left the farm after playing our choir service for Ernest. I think he liked it, though he isn't good with stuff about other people. That's fine, he has a nice tidy world and doesn't like to have it interrupted by outside things.

Nonetheless, we took him to Victoria to buy him an 86th birthday dinner. He liked the peanuts at the restaurant better this year, and enjoyed some catfish. Lee and I had tasty little steaks and sweet potatoes drowning in marshmallows.
On our way out of the restaurant we were treated to this sight. This truck was covered in leafy oak decals. Wow, in the woods it would be INVISIBLE! You may be able to see the very interesting star things on the wheels. You can't miss the interesting tires. I am not sure what the truck was all tricked out for, but it sure looks different!

After the restaurant, we went to see our friends Jim and Esther, who moved from Round Rock to Victoria to retire last year. We also got to see their daughter and SIL, and grandkids (who go to our church, so are not strangers). They have a lovely home in a nice neighborhood with lots of space--and parking for Jim's camper and boat! It was nice to see them, though I know it's hard on Ernest to be around new people who aren't farmers or anything! I figure eventually he could get them to talk about politics, and all would be well, though (thankfully, we are all on the same side there). His religion talks would have been harder--he still really doesn't know what Unitarian Universalism is, other than we sure don't study the Bible hard enough. Glad we avoided that topic.

So, we took him home and in the morning had do-nuts. We drove by where his brother, Carroll, lives (he turned 85 the day after Ernest turned 86--guess Oma was in a hurry to get child-bearing out of the way), and lo and behold, he was in the yard. So, they actually introduced me to him! I had wondered if that would ever happen. I guess they don't like Carroll's wife, 'cause she's a Catholic, or something. I thought she was quite nice, and enjoyed the hour we spent on their porch watching lovely birds and playing with the neighbor's quite charming dog, Mo. I liked him. He allowed himself to be "brushed" with a broom, which was pretty darned cute.
We took "the road less taken" on our way back and got to see some really nice scenery. We stopped by one field, near Route 85 and FM 1116 (um, that is near the former town of Pilgrim, near a cool salt flat). This field is all black-eyed susans. There are so many fields like this right now, some also with phlox of many colors. Some had white phlox that looked like snow.

Here's one more view. If you look at the large version, you can see how many different flowers are in there. We passed Cactus World, a huge ranch or two with exotic animals, and much more attractive areas than you see on 183. I have no idea where we were, but it was nice. I guess we were near Bastrop at one point, since there were some pine trees.
When I got home, it was Mother's Day, and that was quite the celebration. Lee got me a very funny card, and totally surprised me with what you see here. It is a huge photograph of the labyrinth where we got married, taken by John Phelps, who did a lot of our wedding photos. He does all sorts of stuff to the photos and they end up looking like paintings. This photo has been printed on canvas and is like 4 feet wide. Really nice (see more by clicking the links). I guess Lee bought it from seeing it hanging at church, and all the profits of the sale went there, so that is another good thing! I think this is just a wonderful memory of where we got married, and it looks great hanging in the gallery between our bedroom and media room. How thoughtful!

But that's not all. Anyone climbing our stairs to see the picture would have the fine experience of using a stair rail that has all the dirt cleaned off it. I was rather appalled at how much "stuff" was on our railings, I guess from people's dirty hands through the years. Well, Tuba Boy and Beccano cleaned it all off as a Mother's Day gift. They even used their own money to buy sponges for the task. And each of them made me a card, in their inimitable ways -- in other words, rather hurriedly created, but very funny and sweet. I was really touched.

As a final treat, we all went to see the Star Trek movie last night. That was a great end to the weekend! I have loved Star Trek since I was in 5th or 6th grade, when my friend Patti from camp and I used to watch the original series every afternoon and then call each other and dissect the plot. I read all the James Blish adaptations of the episodes (and still have the very worn paperbacks to prove it) and Patti and I wore through two copies of our Star Trek book with all the details in it. I loved that book. I was prepared to be pretty peeved if this movie messed around with the Canon too much, but lo and behold, it used very Roddenberry-an plot twists and unbelievable coincidences involving things that go against all rules of physics to make everything JUST fine. It was a ton of fun!

I thought I'd share one last thing, these Mother's Day photos of the guys who made me a mother, in their natural habitat (i.e., surrounded by junk food). Here's Tuba Boy playing WoW on my old computer, with his Whataburger cup.
And here's Beccano in his Springsteen t-shirt, watching bad television surrounded by ice cream containers and um, stuff. He likes his stuff. They are good boys. I am glad to have them around!

Well, if that isn't enough blogging, I just don't know what IS!!

A Nice Chatty Update

2009-05-05T16:40:00.004-05:00

Well, finally I am caught up a wee bit and can write something! First, I had to do a lot of work in my fine new job. Oh, but that's OK. I love my fine new job, and think this week I'll finally have 5 days of work in, too. I will love that part the most. I get to work from home, in coffee shops, and sometimes in their spartan little office. Working in the office is great because everyone is so freaking NICE. And smart. And funny. What a relief to have that to say after all this time! And they are friendly--I get asked out to lunch and everything!

And look, we have a happy volunteer sunflower to symbolize how nice that is!

Second, I finally got my wonderful new computer, a Dell Studio 17 with red swirly things on it. I guess I should have put a picture of that on here instead of the nice flowers, so OK, I will go find one. Here's what it looks like:

Setting it up was a bit of a challenge. I tried this lovely Windows Vista "Easy Transfer" utility. Oh that was a good one, all right. I spent four hours trying to move files from my beautiful red Dell 15" model, only to end up that nothing transferred except all the user accounts. Great. All that was during a very stressful work emergency, too, which meant that the time I had planned to spend on Thursday of last week blogging was spent working all night. But, it's OK...

I like the computer a lot now. The high-resolution screen is awesome. I can really see all those incredibly detailed PowerPoints I have to edit, and I look forward to Articulate 09 work on them (that is fun and expensive instructional design software I get to use. woo hoo. I moved all the pictures, all the software and everything else I need. Now I just have to set up Quicken so I can be an Independent Contractor Who Files Her Taxes Right and all will be well. I also got a really nice mouse, which is a red curved USB one from Microsoft (I know, boo, hiss) that folds up into a little egg shape for easy travel. So, now I am little miss modern worker. And it is good for play, too!!

Our garden is getting just lovely. This is one of our roses from last year. All of them are blooming beautifully, including the tiny red ones. We'd thought the wildflower bed Lee planted was a bust, but to the contrary, it's gone nuts--there is even a big ole pink poppy in there now! Lots of phlox in various colors, some white things, sunflowers from last year and such. I see basil coming up from last year, and we have all kinds of onions going. And at last the tomatoes have started to grow. Our soil is so bad for them, but the more compost Lee puts on, the better!

After Thursday of last week, things got good. I had a ton of fun at work on Friday, then went to Pilar's surprise 40th birthday party. The next two photos are stolen from Cindy (hey, thanks, Cindy), but I took a whole bunch of photos of her, so I know she won't mind me borrowing a couple. To prove I really was there, this is a photo of my and Diane. We had been enjoying the beer. The food was great, too. MMMMM. The best part, though was that Pilar was actually surprised, mainly because no one told Miss T. it was going to happen. A 5-year-old can't hold info like that in!

Here you see Pilar in her sweet 16 birthday sash, still looking a bit overwhelmed, while Lee tries to tell Miss T something and I show how bad my posture really is. At right is Pat telling a joke. That happened a lot. We all had a very good time, and what was even better was that our husbands got to know each other, too. Lee and Cindy's husband (Bryan with a y I think), had a nice manly chat on the patio about power tools. We all kept saying how nice it would be to do more social things. Of course, we can't rent a beautiful club house every time. The one the party was at is just in the next neighborhood from here. Maybe we should rent our clubhouse some time!

And finally, what is the first "real" post of May without a Maypole photo? We had a really nice one at church on Sunday, and here is proof. We also did our choir concert, with was Schubert's Mass in G. We actually pulled it off, thanks to a whole bunch of additional recruits and two wonderful borrowed soloists, plus a fine accompanist. I enjoyed it a lot.

OK, that is enough blogging and photos for one post. I should save something up to write about later in the week, huh? Thanks for your patience while I was feeling upset and/or busy. Everything is good now, even if it's different.

Coming Soon...

2009-05-03T20:53:00.002-05:00

A real post! I have been transitioning to the new job AND to a new computer, and just plain out of spare time. Blame social life and stuff like that, too. All of which I will blog about...tomorrow.

After Nancy wrote to make sure I was OK I figured I had better say something so you'll know things are good, just not quite under control.

Don't Know What to Say

2009-04-22T15:21:00.002-05:00

I have been both ill and down the past few days, so I am not up to writing much.

I'm feeling sorry for Beccano who lost both that lovely girlfriend I posted the photo of AND his lovely band on Monday. Separate incidents. The girlfriend one has resolved positively.

I'm really disappointed about the other one, because it means I also lost a friend I had thought better of.

The good news is that the new job started and I seem able to do it, so far. But I haven't had to do Articulate Presenter yet, and I just hope my version will work. The new job had some quick deadlines so I worked a lot the past few days, so much that I just couldn't see well enough to blog. My one concern is that the graphic design person is no longer on the team, and I am worried that I might be expected to be the creative one now. I do WAY better with a creative partner like my old pal Dave!

I have some kind of really bad issue in my head--have had ear-aches, weird feeling sinuses, dizziness...just not feeling right. I only had three hours of sleep Monday night from a combination of the sickness and Suna's patented Highly Sensitive Person Emotional Outrage that always comes with I or a person I love gets treated with disrespect publicly.

Oh well, moving on. Not my best week, but at least I will get paid.

Cuteness and Not Much Else

2009-04-16T15:27:00.004-05:00

Not much to write about, so I am sharing a cute photo stolen from Parker. It's Beccano and his girlfriend. I am glad they have had such a happy two months with each other. They have done some fun things, and I guess spent most of their time in this van, doing this. And I hope not TOO much else.

I have been waiting for my new project to ramp up, and have done fun stuff like get a webcam and learn some new software. I have managed to spend every day of "leisure" so far doing frustrating errands, though, so none of the big cleaning up I had hoped got accomplished. I did wash 50 pairs of hand knit socks, though.

My phone got broken Tuesday, which meant an entire day of running to various AT&T stores. I did get Beccano a new phone, which was fun--I hid it in a bag of discounted Easter candy, so he was surprised. He keeps thanking me. It is a nice phone. Meanwhile, I had to go to a special place and get a replacement Blackberry, which would have been OK except that the guy couldn't transfer any of my things due to Bluetooth being stuck on and the "OK" button being the broken part meant it could not turn off. So, I spend the rest of the day talking to both AT&T and Blackberry tech support to get things back to normal. I have to say both had good technical support staff once I got off the queue for the masses. I really should not complain. I still had a month left in my warranty so I am lucky I was able to replace the phone rather than having to buy one.

Yesterday I waited and waited for work, then went to the yarn shop and had a reasonable time with the folks there (it got a bit too loud and crowded for me at one point). We also had a nice time at choir. I am enjoying learning the Mass we are going to sing for our spring concert.

Really, that's about it other than unbloggable things having to do with finance. Just send me good thoughts on that topic, OK?

Everyone Got Rest but the Dog

2009-04-13T18:39:00.004-05:00

We had a pretty nice and restful weekend. I know I felt good because I was between jobs. No stress over the one that ended (other than surprise they didn't even give me a thank you card), and I got a half day off Friday, which I happily spent at the yarn shop. Saturday was another fun day of yarning, so that wasn't stressful, either. Lee and I both had some sort of allergy issues going on--my throat was really in pain most of the weekend, and he mowed the lawn and stirred up pollen to his detriment. But, we watched some nice shows that we'd recorded on the DVR, and ate good meals. No complaints there.

Sunday was really a fun day, other than the pouring rain it started with. I got rather soaked picking flowers for the Flower Communion. I did get the kids to go to church with us, and I think Tuba Boy enjoyed getting to see some of his old friends. I really like the Flower Communion service that UU churches do. Beccano got a rose that smelled quite citrusy. I made everyone I saw sniff it.

Since it was a holiday for most people I decided we should do something involving nature in the afternoon, so Beccano and I dragged Scrunchy the Pug to a nearby park. He's been walking with me most days for the past month or more, so I figured he was ready for something a bit more entertaining.

Well, I knew we were in for a "different" kind of experience when he got so darned excited just driving to the park that I thought he was going to implode. His snortling was in full crazed mode, and he would not settle down. In retrospect, I probably should have taken him to one of the closer trails, but I wanted to go by the lake, so...

We arrived, grabbed some poop bags and went exploring the trails. The pug had a great time and frolicked quite happily as you can see in this rather blurry photo of Beccano in the Bluebonnets. They were pretty cute together.

Soon Scrunchy wore out and we had to get him a drink of water. Luckily I brought my port-a-bowl, which I dipped into the lake. He drank a lot. And I let him. Hmmm. But he was thirsty.

We walked a little more, then sat and had a rest. He was panting like crazy. Then on the way back, he barfed up a lot of what he drank. And then he flopped into a puddle near the water fountain, to be sure he was filthy enough, I guess. He did lost more liquids closer to the car. I hoped and hoped that he had barfed up all he had in him, but alas, that was not the case. Thankfully, I had an old towel in the back of the car, and we thought to spread that on the seat. That caught SOME of the ensuing vomit. Sigh.

So, after my lovely walk, I got to clean the car interior. I am not sure if he got overheated or not--it really wasn't that hot, and he really didn't walk any further than he usually does around the neighborhood. I think he was just over-stimulated. We hadn't taken the dogs anywhere in a long time, since Gwynneth had gone blind and crochety. If any dog left, she just had a fit and would not stop barking, so we kept them all at home.

I'll try taking him somewhere a little closer next time. I know he enjoyes smelling new smells and seeing new sights.

So, as for today...I met my team for my new contract. I think it will be fun. I sure hope so. Everyone seems nice enough, anyway. At least it's something different, and there will be breaks every so often. I might even be able to go somewhere during a break, who knows??

Tonight I've been listening to Parker and Beccano play some music. We have had some musical equipment "issues" in the past couple of days--not keeping track of borrowed items, but things seem to be getting better. And Lee practiced with Parker's dad--maybe to be in a band with him. That would be cool!

Wednesday Wonders #14: Cherry

2009-04-09T12:01:00.003-05:00

I don’t know why I decided to do the wonders on Wednesdays, which are invariably my busiest days of the week. It’s been busy at both home and work, so no time to sneak in much writing, anyway.

The only inspiration for a wonder this week is not a person, but, as my friend Bill pointed out, something as beautiful as a woman, with curves in all the right places. This is Lee’s new baby, a Victory Vision Touring bike, 2008 model. What, a motorcycle? I know, not what I expected, either. But one that looks exactly like the side view photo now graces our driveway (still haven’t managed to get it home in the daylight for photo ops).

But look at that front, that side, that amazing back (at the bottom of the post)! The choir director had to drag us all in to sing last night, because we were out staring at its black cherry beauty. Reviews I have read also indicate that Cherry (as I call her) is great to ride, runs well and gets reasonable gas mileage for a behemoth.

Why is Cherry the Wednesday Wonder, especially if you know me and how much I dislike motorcycles? There are a few reasonable reasons.

This has made Lee really happy, and he has been one worried fellow lately. Being able to buy the new Man Toy means our tax situation isn’t horrible, and he can now figure out what to do with the proceeds of selling some property. This is all good. It means we have a little security cushion. And he didn’t run out and get the most costly thing he could get—this was a good deal, came with a 5-year warranty, and was not too expensive considering he traded in the Honda. It’s just great to see him happy, and I feel better knowing some of the safety features in this one—I’d like to keep him around.
I’ve had an interesting reaction to this thing. It symbolizes me trying to deal with some of my fears. I feel like, properly armored and after a lot of deep breathing, I just might be able to try riding this. That weird looking back end looks like it would keep me from falling off. And there are hand grips for when I am terrified (Lee asked the salesperson if he thought I could bend those handles). I have never gotten on a motorcycle, even a stationary one. But, since it doesn’t look like I will ever get that horse I always wanted, this may be the only dangerous saddle I’ll be having the chance to get on. I had a good talk with the guy at work who races cars, bikes and boats. His perspective on the danger aspect was good. He confirmed that the biggest danger was other people, assuming you are riding sober (which I assume we would). He said as long as you are always vigilant, you should be able to get out of situations. Then he said he’d had three wrecks on his bike. Yum. But it is red, fast and scary. I notice he always wears a full helmet, jacket, boots and gloves, so he is a reasonable risk taker. And he was right that life itself is risky, and that you are fooling yourself if you think riding in a car, walking in icy weather, etc., aren’t also dangerous. He said you just have to decide what degree of knowing risk you can put up with. So, I have been thinking about that, and think I might try this. I mean, I tried a roller coaster once and didn’t die. I just decided not to ride one again!
Another interesting thing is that I like this motorcycle. I mostly find them pretty ugly, loud and irritating. But this one makes a nice, throaty sound and it is, from an aesthetic stand point, a work of art. The designers deserve many, many kudos for this thing. I can see why it has been so universally praised. I keep imagining Luke Skywalker coming over to ask for his ride back. It’s just a wonderful blend of form and function, with a low center of gravity, heated seats and hand grips, a windshield that goes up and down, and a fine stereo that I can’t see why anyone would want, but hey, that’s OK. It has a place to plug in your MP3 player, too. I guess somehow the womanly curves of Cherry make her seem less threatening and scary. It’s an illusion, but at this point I will take it—anything to I can share Lee’s family hobby with him and not feel so much like a stuck-up stick-in-the mud when I am around them.
The thing gets weird reactions. Everyone thinks it’s pretty. But a few of the choir people really looked stricken at the thought of riding it. More than one person has said, very self-righteously, “You ARE going to wear a helmet when you ride this, aren’t you?” I hope I have never said that to anyone. It’s like, “You ARE breastfeeding, aren’t you?” to a new mother. Even if she is, she feels like you must think she’s a dork if you have to ask. Have I told the story of how my kids thought the definition of the word “idiot” was “person riding a motorcycle without a helmet”? That’s because their dad and I consistently used that word in that context, and really didn’t call anyone else an idiot. I guess now I just call them “organ donors.” I really value my brain. And, I do understand people’s fears. I am that way, too, and fighting it. I just really didn’t notice all the non-bike people out there when I was one of them—I have been feeling like I am the only one who isn’t an enthusiastic fan, with so many friends riding. Interesting to change perspective (and I’d rather change on this topic to see how it feels than, say, politics).

We helped the economy by buying something. And it is made in the USA, too. I am not an isolationist, but I do feel good whenever I can buy something that supports folks like me, trying to make a living here. Any big purchase we make from now on has to be significant in more than one way. If I’m buying things made elsewhere, I prefer to get things that can’t be made here (like lovely Danish or Japanese yarn, ha ha, and I certainly buy enough US yarn as well).

I will let you know if I actually try riding. I’d hate to have Lee buy equipment and then not use it. That’s probably why I rode my road bike so long—the ex had invested so much in the bicycle, the helmet, the outfits, the shoes, etc., that I felt like I needed to get my money’s worth, even if he only rode with me once, ever. So, huh. How about that. Cherry the motorcycle.

BS Can Be Good! Excellent, Even!*

2009-04-06T12:17:00.007-05:00

I guess yesterday was a nice relaxing Sunday…well other than one of the best evenings of my life, that is!

You see, I love rock music, and there is a particular sound of rock that can’t help but make me feel really, really good. I’ve talked before about how I like “layers” of sound, and the “wall of sound” effect that was so hard for Bruce Springsteen to achieve on the Born to Run album is the pinnacle of the type of sound I love. And I got to hear it live last night. For me, it’s a spiritual experience to listen to the E Street Band perform certain songs (and, well, all the other ones are pretty good, too!).

Yeah, Lee and I were really lucky to get the chance to see Springsteen last night. I hadn’t seen him since the 80s—once I had the kids I either wasn’t comfortable leaving them alone that long or couldn’t afford modern concert ticket prices. Plus, it’s so hard to get tickets! The ones we had, which were scored by our hostess, were very high up, and sort of to the side, but tickets had only been on sale 20 minutes and those were the best available! Wow! I guess the “in crowd” has other methods (as I have seen on some fan sites), but us regular people have to fight and scratch. Still, after what I saw last night, I think I’d spend the bucks again for a select few artists.

But this wasn’t “one of my favorite bands.” This was one of two bands that I love above all others (Bruce is tied with the Who—I wore my Who shoes to the concert). Two of our party had never seen Springsteen before, and I am pretty sure they both liked it (perhaps too noisy for Lee), but Dan and I were quite obviously rapturous. There are some songs where the sound just fills you up and you have no idea where you are, what you are doing, or who you are with. You become part of the experience. I realized after “She’s the One” that I’d cried through the whole song. I also cried the first time Steven van Zandt appeared on the big screen with Bruce. It was just so nice to see them.

I loved the “theme” of the concert. It was hope, and the set list did focus on hopeful songs for the most part (thankfully not ALL of them, or we’d not have had “Outlaw Pete” or “The Wrestler”). He gave a talk about turning pain to joy, hurt to healing, etc., and how music can do that. I swear Obama gave him an agenda!

I’m not going to review the whole thing, since that’s easy enough to find online. But, here’s a song or two to enjoy, and under that are some highlights and lowlights for me.

Here's "Sherry Darling," which someone filmed while they shouldn't have been.

And this is a snippet of the beginning of Born to Run, just to show you the sound I'm talking about.

I loved it when Bruce took a request on two gum wrappers from someone and showed it to the camera. It was "Sherry Darling," and as you might be able to tell from the clip, not all of the band remembered it completely.
Another wonderful highlight was when he brought a little girl, like 9 years old, on stage to sing along with him on “Waiting on a Sunny Day.” She did admirably, and was seen onscreen jumping up and down with glee afterward. He even gave her a harmonica. He also had a little boy sing with him—and that kid did great--sang right into the microphone. It’s so obvious Bruce likes kids (his are around the ages of mine, by the way).
Miami Steve’s guitar solos were a bit on the screechy side—rather overly loud and on some way distorted setting. Nils did all sorts of cool stuff, though, and I enjoyed his work.
At one point there were TWO accordions on stage. And Steve on mandolin. Quite the folk scene. One song had FIVE people playing tambourine, too. I do like the jangly parts of his songs, though.
Clarence needs a chair, but he can still blow, as long as he remembers what the song is. He also did a neat whistle part on the folky ending song…"Land of Hope and Dreams.”
[added later] I forgot this part until just now--Bruce had an acoustic guitar, in black, with a tarot symbol on it, the 3 of Swords. The one that means a broken heart. Of course, this further endeared him to me. So, I Googled his name and "tarot," and lo and behold, I found this video on Bea Nettles, the person who designed the image on the guitar. And I realized that Springsteen uses tarot a lot--he has the Devil on the cover of his Devils & Dust album, and the 3 of Swords is on Magic. I guess I'd forgotten this.

We had a great time, and enjoyed talking with our fine hosts on the way down and back. (So if you live near me, consider buying your next musical instrument, strings, accessories or lessons from the fine folks at Danny Ray’s Music. They make Suna happy. End of unsolicited testimonial.) The traffic wasn’t even too awful getting in and out of the Erwin Center. I have no complaints, and I dreamed of the beautiful music all night. I will hear it for months and months now. Any hearing damage I experienced from refusing to wear my earplugs is worth it.

*Lee said that in his Facebook status today. And Bruce Springsteen is the best BS there is!

Fun Times!

2009-04-05T10:12:00.004-05:00

There's been a lot of fun going on lately, and the stress levels have plummeted for at least the moment.

First, I did accept a contract job on a project-by-project basis at a place that does IT Consulting. I will call it "IT Place." I am not sure how it will work out, or how getting paid works, but the rate is great and I will be doing stuff I really like to do, so it all sounds good to me. I'll also be able to keep doing training, if there's time. I am happy to have finally managed to transition between gigs with no gap. Maybe I am getting better at contracting.

Besides that, our income taxes are done and Lee is happy with how they came out, which makes me happy. I understood my own taxes, but have no clue about his, so the merged thing is a mystery to me. I do think this system of income taxes is rather overly complicated for the average person!

But the fun part is that we have been concert-going, traveling fools this week. On Thursday, we went to a restaurant I've never been to, called Sam's Boat. I'd seen it many times. Turns out it's another place where young professionals go to get blitzed more than a restaurant. We went there to see friends of Jeff's, one of whom I had met when Jeff and I visited San Diego (actually a fun trip). They have a Jimmy Buffet cover band and came to Austin for an annual Buffet event here. We brought along Parker and Beccano, so they could hear how they did harmonies and watch the really talented lead guitar player. All the band were really good, though, and they made even songs I don't like enjoyable! One interesting note: those nasty boat-tailed grackles were all over the place, doing their irritating noises and flying all over the diners. You could even hear their shrieks above the sound of the band. And the band was loud. These make pigeons seem sweet. The photo is of the band, plus Parker. I will spare you the other photos I took, where everyone is making faces. We missed Jeff playing with the band--kids had to get home to their homework. But I am sure he had fun!

Then on Friday night, Lee and I went to our friend Janet's house to see our friend Eddie Collins and his band. They were Billy Bright on mandolin, Mike Montgomery on fiddle, and Tom Ellis on bass, and all were great musicians. Tom Ellis even built all the mandolins played on stage, which impressed me, even if he says it's easy! It was a lot of bluegrass, but I enjoy listening to that, as long as it's not a solid diet. There was some fine jamming and good humor, plus we got to see a lot of our friends as a bonus. House concerts are a good thing. I need to go to some of my friend Austin's Mountain House concerts!(Warning, MySpace link with music in it). I didn't get any pictures of this, because the lights were really dim, but I did get a nice photo of one of Janet's goats, who live in her back yard. They are former FFA project goats her daughter refused to send to slaughter.

Yesterday there was no music involved, but Lee and I took the day off from our usual stuff (yes, I did not go to the yarn shop) and drove all over the place looking at scenery and flowers. We made a stop at the Old Oaks Ranch, a fiber arts haven near Wimberly, where they have alpacas, a yarn shop, weaving stuff and spinning stuff. Oh, and a sculpture garden that I really didn't get a chance to look at, but maybe I can if I ever get to go back. It was their open house day, and we just missed the alpaca shearing that I'd wanted to see, but we did get to see the results: animals with very thin necks! I bought some lovely yarn with three plies, each from a different animal. And because I am me, I asked one of the owners to show me which animals the yarn came from. She was really sweet and showed us all of them, and talked to us a lot about the ranch, the animals, etc. She admitted (as did the other owner we talked to) that they picked alpaca ranching because they are cuter and sweeter than sheep. They really are lovely animals.

I'll probably go on about the yarn more on the knitting blog, so go there for more. The other thing we did at Old Oaks Ranch was watch a demo of making a felted hat out of raw alpaca fiber. They do workshops on that, too (amazing workshops at that place). It sure looked like fun, and was a lot more hands-on than knitting a giant hat and throwing it in the washing machine, which is all I have done. I think it would be fun to play so directly with the fiber like that, but wow, it could be an expensive hobby! If I ever grow up to be a rich person, alpacas will be in my future. Otherwise, they are nice animals to visit, and incredibly nice animals to get fiber from.

Today we are decadently skipping church and doing home stuff as we await what should be a highlight of the year for me: Bruce Springsteen! I have never been to a big concert in Austin (combination of having small kids then not having bucks), so this will be fun. We are going with Dan and Lisa, so we get to ride in the Danny Ray's Mobile. I have my only remaining Bruce t-shirt ready to wear, but I think it's going to be so cold that I will have to wear a jacket. At this time I wish I hadn't let Corey have my Asbury Jukes jacket. That would have been a fine piece of memorabilia from the old Southside Johnny days!

Next week I may be rather busy, so expect fewer posts as I transition from one job to the other. I am very much looking forward to working from home again, though.

Wednesday Wonders #13: The Blog

2009-04-01T15:22:00.001-05:00

I wrote something very similar on my knitting blog today, but what the heck, I want to honor the same Wonders on both blogs today!

Today’s Wednesday Wonders aren’t people, but they are the ways I communicate with people: My blogs! Today is the 4th anniversary of my blogging adventures. This personal blog goes back to April 1, 2005. It is always good, I think, to start a Fool’s Journey on April Fool’s Day! I mixed my everyday life with my knitting adventures until May 2007, when I had to separate into two blogs, one that shows up on search engines and that I give out links to strangers to, which is for my knitting thoughts, and one for life updated, chatting and opinionating for an audience of just friends. If you’ve read for a while, you know why that happened. If you haven’t, well, I found out the hard way how innocent statements can be twisted and taken the VERY wrong way by someone who is upset!

I am really grateful that someone thought blogs up, because I have always been one of those people who kept diaries, journals, logs and other kinds of personal records. I don’t have the best memory for details, so it’s helped me that I wrote a lot down in my past (and grrr to the ex husband who threw away my graduate school journal). It helps remind me of what I have learned from my mistakes, and what joys have popped up among the sorrows and drudgery. I love having these bloggy records of what I’ve been going through the last four years. I get a lot of laughs looking back! I am glad I wrote down so many fun and funny kid stories, and glad they aren’t publicly searchable, though!

This personal blog, especially, has a lot of meaning for me. It has helped me avoid repeating mistakes and shows me how much I’ve learned about job searching, which seems to be the topic SO darned often! I am happy that so many of my memories will be here to read in the future…at least I hope. Something has been nagging me in the back of my mind lately, saying maybe I ought to print out all my blogs. Readers, do you see your blogs as permanent or ephemeral? I am I weird to worry about losing this stuff? I am trusting Blogger.com with my life here!!

And of course, there’s one more reason that my blogs are Wednesday Wonders: they have introduced me to people I’d never have gotten to know otherwise, and I treasure the chances I’ve had to get to know some of my readers, and to at least get glimpses of some of the others. Where else but in the “blogosphere” (which I think of as the place mean and somewhat ill-educated people who pick at newsmakers live, but I realize also includes US) can you keep up with the daily lives of fascinating women and men from California to Wisconsin to New England, or from Denmark to Pakistan…to right down the road! I know I’ve said it before, but it’s time to do so again: thank you all for reading, and to those of you whose blogs I read: thank you for writing!
I really enjoy blogs. They are as dramatic as novels, but they feature real people. They are as educational as textbooks, but funnier and more “real.” Blogs are human, and they bring people together. There’s so much that separates us today—so much “us vs. them” thinking, so it is great to see how people with different views , of different backgrounds and from different places do share so much in common. We love our families, we love saying what we think about world events, AND we respect others. I am glad I have respectful people reading!

Hmm, on an email list (another thing I like!) today someone asked what makes us happy. I guess my answer is my blogs, who are four years old, and the blogs of all my friends, mentors and knitting companions!

Leave my blog a happy anniversary greeting if you’d like to! I thank you all for reading commenting, and sympathizing.

Glad This Weekend's Over!

2009-03-30T16:57:00.003-05:00

Poor little Suna had a mighty frustrating weekend, and Lee didn't have much fun either, so we were a bunch of grumpy guys and gals around here.

I spent all the end of last week and the weekend, when not running errands, working on a project to try to get a job. I was re-learning some software, and no, I refused to do something easy--I had to start a project from scratch, which meant graphic design, instructional design, technical writing, assessment creation, recording navigation...good thing I decided not to put in a movie! And the whole time I was doing it I kept thinking, "Gee, I could make this more interactive, or add this detail, or do this interesting Flash thing..." then I remembered there are only 24 hours in a day, and my days are filled with kid stuff, partner stuff, work stuff and obligations. So, I did my best. I got it all finished and went to "publish" it. Wham, no can do. The software could not find the source files. So, I spent hours looking at all the help files on earth...oh, and did I mention that my laptop had all sorts of "issues" during the week, requiring numerous reboots and fixes?

Gosh, just thinking of all this gives me pains. It didn't help that Beccano's and Parker's band performance at the Culture Fair went poorly (not their fault--they couldn't get a sound check), or that Tuba Boy's girlfriend had a migraine and he found out he didn't get into the other two colleges he'd applied for, and Lee was wiped out from a huge project at his work...we all had our issues! Note that Triskelion looked quite fine performing, as you can see above in this action shot of Beccano soloing!

Still, Lee and I got in some plant shopping and a trip to the outlet mall to get some fun things--he got me a new purse that strongly resembles my old one (I liked it fine but it was falling apart).

But, today has been a better day. I went to Home Depot at lunch and used wedding gift certificates to get us more plants and some nice pots to put large plants in. This will please Lee! And when I got to work, I was able to finish that project, so that I could upload it to the potential employer when I got home. Now I just hope it doesn't suck. Plus, I am hopeful that another potential employer will call soon--I did get a message. Sometimes you just have to wait out a storm and things will get better. Should have figured that out last Wednesday, huh?

More good news is that I have been walking Scrunchy almost every day for the past few weeks, and it has made a difference both in him and me. The weight I have put on in the last year or so is starting to reverse, slowly but surely. That's good--I need to fit into my "work clothing" again soon!

The final and best bit of good news from the last few days is that I have gotten to see my BBF and Wednesday Wonder Baby Abigail twice! I got to visit her precious baby self at home last Thursday, and then she came to the yarn shop Saturday. It is not just because I have known her since before she was born that I say she is a very, very, very cute baby. She really is. Look at her. She is most extraordinarily cute and baby-like. She even left an ear print on my arm while I held her, which I insisted on showing to both my kids and Lee. I love it when they do that. Babies are a fine thing for cheering you up, especially when you aren't up all night getting no sleep from them!

I have decided the rest of the week will just get better and better! It will!

Ice Cubes Fell from the Sky!

2009-03-26T08:53:00.002-05:00

Wow, did we have a storm last night! Quite a bit of hail, though not as much as the time when it hailed at the lacrosse game in the football stadium, which must have happened just before I started the blog. I guess it was more of late afternoon storm, since it was still light. I’d already made it to the yarn shop for Chicks with Sticks and gotten my coffee. We were all looking at the weather on people’s iPhones and knew it was coming, so some folks left. Others stayed, figuring they’d rather be in a building than drive through it. Good idea, too, because people’s windshields were shattering as they tried to drive.

It was even worse in Marble Falls, an hour or so away. Their streets got to be solid ice. We just got little rivers of ice balls.

It was fun watching the storm through picture windows, though not fun watching our cars get pounded. We had a little kid with us, and his reactions to all those ice cubes falling from the sky were very cute. He'd never seen it before, so his eyes were huge with wonder. The usual yarn shop child left before the storm hit, but was very concerned that “the volcano is coming!” (The tornado watch confused her!)

I am really sad at the damage done to all our plants in the yard. Our pansies were just incredibly beautiful yesterday morning. Both Lee and I were commenting on it. Some had 5 or 6 flowers each, and it was just a mass of loveliness. Now there are broken blossoms all over the ground. Our fresh, new tree leaves are bashed, too (they’ll come back). I was happy to see the little new tomato plants are still with us, so not all is lost. And at least we got more rain! The drought has been so bad that any rain we get is a good thing for the lawns, lakes and aquifers.

Of course there’s always a lovely rainbow after a storm, and this was no exception. At one point, it was a big, full arc and a nice partial double rainbow, but since I was driving home at the time, this photo taken at a stoplight was the best I could do!

I’ve had a lot of job action from my earlier interviews, so keep your fingers crossed. It seems some of them want me to get cracking already! I guess that is a good sign.

Wednesday Wonders #12: Kelli Brew

2009-03-25T15:17:00.006-05:00

Forgive my lapse, but I just don’t have it in me today to do a full-fledged Wednesday Wonders. If I had one, it would be Kelli Brew, a woman I went to high school with, who is living a life I very much admire: she is focusing on what matters to her most by living simply, consuming as few resources as possible, and enjoying the beauty of the people and places around her. She is also helping others learn to do the same, caring for those less fortunate for her, and being an artist (judging from her photographs, she is an artist!). She personifies “intention” in the best sense, and rather than preaching or hitting you over the head, she exemplifies her morals and spiritual beliefs by how she conducts her day-to-day life.

I knew Kelli as a sweet, nice and fun person in high school, but we were in different social circles, so I didn’t know her well. Now I wish I had known her better! I know her choices, living in the Gainesville, Florida Catholic Worker House in a downtown setting, with all kinds of people coming and going, can’t be easy all the time. Their car was recently stolen, for example. But, she has figured out what she wants to do with her life and (most important) she has found a way to make her dreams a reality.

One reason I can’t write up a full "tribute" today is that I am spending a lot of mental energy trying so hard to figure out a way to make my own life this meaningful. I want to do work I love, help others, and make the world a better place. But, I also want to make a reasonable living. I’m working on it, and realize that, like Kelli, I will have to make some sacrifices. But, I think it’s important at this point in our lives that we re-evaluate and figure out where we want to go. The economic downturn, along with the maturity that (I hope) being over 50 years old, combine to provide an unexpected opportunity to think about new possibilities. I know it’s important—I even dreamed about Kelli’s life last night—so it’s nagging at my subconscious! How can I take this inspiration and do something with it that’s right for me and my family? Probably just composting and recycling isn’t it!

Read some of Kelli’s beautiful blog entries, please, or visit the website about the work she and her colleagues are doing at the Catholic Worker House (a really amazing collection of doings and happenings there). There’s a lot to learn from their choices to live simply, locally and with care for the earth. You regular readers know I am not a Christian, but this is the kind of Christianity that I admire greatly and am proud to share the planet with.

So, I guess I did find inspiration enough to write a nice tribute to someone after all! Thanks to Kelli and her companions!

(The photo is one she took on a walk in the woods, shamelessly stolen from her Facebook pages--but she gave me permission!)

Back to the Old Grind

2009-03-23T17:56:00.003-05:00

Spring Break is over, so the kids are back in school, and I'm back at the old grind of job searching. As you can see, I got yet another new shade of hair for this round of looking. It's a pretty fun shade of red, and Robert left some pieces of it the previous color, so it is like free highlights. I'm going to stare at this photo a lot to keep me motivated on my new walking regimen.

We had a generally very nice weekend--Lee and I had a nice dinner together Friday night, and Saturday night we went to a very nice party of mostly church folks and some GLBT community, too. The home we visited is really lovely, and best of all, has an incredible view of a greenbelt and sunsets. It was a great idea--a party of all appetizers. I am feeling good that I am getting back into the social circle of church, which I have surely missed for the last few years.

And speaking of church, we made it through a difficult and challenging song there, which pleased the person who wrote the lyrics very much. I am really glad I stuck with it, through the frustration of being the only alto for a couple of rehearsals. Lee's been the only tenor a couple of times, too, and he just couldn't cope with this particular number with no one to help him. I'm a strong singer, but must admit it's no fun to sing choral music if you're the only one (other than when I volunteer to be in a quartet or trio!). I know it's hard on our choir director, too. At least the sermon, on The Art of War, was enjoyable. Sometimes Rev. Chuck's not-so-subtle parables really crack me up.

I had felt pretty bad that I couldn't send the kids on the band trip this year, but they both said they really didn't want to go. Shoot, I did. I would have loved to visit New Orleans! It's been so long since I have been to Louisiana!

But, they had a good break. Beccano entertained himself much of the time, as the photo shows, but he also did lots of fun things with his friends. He even went swimming with his girlfriend! Tuba Boy and pals managed to get into a free show around the South by Southwest festival, and saw Bob Schneider and Raul Malo. He also went kayaking in the nearby lake--it really looked like a good time, from the pictures.

One thing I have to say about Facebook is that so many kids post photos of all their adventures that I get to enjoy what they do, even if I don't go. I appreciate that they let me be their "friend" just so I can see what fun they have. And thankfully, it all seems like the kind of fun I used to have at their age. Adventurous, but not dangerous, illegal or otherwise stuff a mom wouldn't like!

Well, off I go to do some "work" for a job I applied for. It should be fun, though. Thanks, as always, for reading!

Food For Thought #9: Theoretically Speaking

2009-03-21T18:42:00.003-05:00

Appetizer: What did you have for breakfast this morning?: Coffee. Usually I have oatmeal during the week, a pastry on Saturday and nothing on Sunday.
Soup: Phish or Monkees?: Monkees. I am old.
Salad: What is your first reaction when you hear the phrase, “I don’t believe in evolution”?: Facts are not things you can believe in or not. But, go ahead and live your life that way, if that's what you're comfortable with.

I could say the flower is not pink. But it's still pink.
Entré: What do you think about attempts to legislate science or even just how science is taught?: It's certainly nothing new. I would prefer my children to be taught, and for me to learn, whatever the newest ideas are, whatever the newest evidence has been found for, and whatever discoveries are being made. Some ideas will be shown to be inaccurate or even wrong, but may lead to reveal other facts. I am not comfortable with forcing people to learn concepts that have no basis in reality or fact. I am not sure how that's going to work out in the long run, when things end up simply not working that way.
Dessert: Has the word “theory” been stripped of its scientific meaning or become loaded with excess emotional baggage?: As with all words, meaning will differ depending on who is speaking, who is listening, and the assumptions they each make and share. Same as it ever was.

Wednesday Wonders #11: Baby Abigail!

2009-03-19T10:18:00.001-05:00

This week’s Wednesday Wonder is again a little late, but that’s OK, so was the Wednesday Wonder.

Today I welcome little Abigail G. to the world. My new BBF (best baby friend) was born on St. Patrick’s Day, a week after her “official” due date, to a very happy Katie and Andrew. I am so happy that this has worked out for them so well, and welcome them to the exciting, scary and rewarding job of parenting. And don’t think it’s just an 18-year gig—you get to worry about this child the rest of your life! But the rewards are great!

I really enjoyed being there throughout Katie's pregnancy and listening to her baby joy and her baby worries. It's hard to balance being a good listener, not giving too much unsolicited advice, and sharing helpful information, but I gave it a shot! I hadn't been around a pregnant friend since my days with the nonprofit. I am glad I have another pregnant friend who's up next, too! I'll have two little girls to hold when their mommies' arms are tired!

I am looking forward to meeting Abby and seeing what the little being I’ve been chatting with through the barriers of Katie’s body for so long actually looks like (I hear she has hair!). I am hoping both parents and baby are getting some rest and bonding time together—everyone deserves a “babymoon.” Welcome, welcome to one of the world’s newest citizens. May you live a life of endless learning, wonder, and most of all, peace.

I’ll post a picture when I have one—the only photos I know of are on the dad’s Facebook account, and I am only friends there with the mom!

The Rain Clouds Part and It's SUNNY!

2009-03-16T20:54:00.006-05:00

It rained all last week, which didn’t help my mood much. It cleared up yesterday and I have been feeling a lot better since then. It helps that the weekend was mostly very pleasant, and that the work week has started out with a bang, too! And look, even the birds are cheerier (taken from my vantage point on the front porch, watching the finches eat seeds off the rosemary bushes. I didn't even know they had seeds on them.)

There was lots of teen fun all weekend—almost always there was someone under 21 hanging around who wasn’t my child. They are really enjoying spring break! I broke out the dehydrator Friday evening and started cutting up fruit. The next time I looked up there were 7 sets of eyes on me—five kids and two dogs’ worth! All four original Triskelion members were there, plus a bonus boy, and they all seem to like fruit. It was fun chatting with them and tossing them bits of food as I loaded up the dehydrator. Later that night, we (and Parker) went to Mesa Rosa, which made a chilly evening much happier.

The dehydrator remained popular the next night, when it was Tuba Boy’s turn to have a bunch of friends over ( he also had ONE girl—must be the thing to do, and I do say they are less screechy when there is just one of them). As they played the Zombies board game, I chatted with Debate King (the one who won his specialty in the tournament last week) about the dehydrator for at least a half hour. He really, really liked it. He even asked me if you can dehydrate lunch meat. Hmm. Why not ham jerky? All the while this kid (a very tall, big-boned person with a beard, so it’s hard to call him a “kid” really) was playing Beccano’s acoustic guitar beautifully. He serenaded the other kids with hilarious blues songs all night.

It was so darned damp in the house that the dried fruit started to un-dry rather quickly, so we know we need to get better storage for it. But it is delicious and very nice in oatmeal, as I had hoped! I did strawberries, pineapple, kiwi fruit, bananas and oranges. Next: jerky!

I had my share of grown-up fun this weekend. I detailed a lot of it in the knitting blog, but I want to say how much I enjoyed entertaining Katie, who is overdue with her first child, little Abigail. I dragged her off to the JoAnn’s Fabrics store, and the next day went over and visited her at her new house, which they just got all unpacked and ready in time for the birth. It was nice talking to her and reassuring her it would be OK. I also went to a baby shower for Jen, a very traditional one with games and stuff. Wow, all my knitting pals are competitive. The organizers are scrapbookers, which meant all the decorations were very, very detailed and cute. I got tired just looking at them, but they did a really nice job.

It was just a fun, good weekend. I even got to spend some time with Lee—we made a trip to Fry’s, and we enjoyed a nice quiet evening last night. He hasn’t been feeling well—back issues, so he needs to take it easy for a while. I made dinner last night, but it wasn’t very good beans and rice. I’ll try to make something better next time!

Today at work was great. I had some good stuff to do show up, which I liked. And I got three job-related phone calls. They ranged from yet another call about my own job, to a call about a marginal possibility that is sort of far away, to a guy calling me up and offering exactly what I’d love to do and had hoped to do at 3M—using that fun e-learning software to create training modules. This guy had some good ideas and the place sounds great. I have an interview there next week, so we’ll see how it goes! At least that’s all encouraging!

But wait, there's more! When I came home, there was a request for an interview in my email. Turns out to be another of the places they contract with at work. I sure know that stuff. Wow, this was not a bad day to be in the job market, considering!

When I got home from work, there was another surprise: Parker had straightened Beccano's hair. It wasn't straight, but it was straighter. I put it in a nice thick braid, which is what you see here. Wow, that boy has thick hair!

Tomorrow Tuba Boy and I are taking the afternoon off to go look at Southwestern University, where he might go to college. That sounds like fun! I guess I'll be missing a few hours of work over the next few days. But for all good reasons!

Food for Thought #9: Mentoring

2009-03-13T14:34:00.003-05:00

Lee says: Everyone is a mentor, and everyone has at least one mentor who has helped defined the guiding principles of their lives. (Ignore the numeric disagreement between noun and pronoun. It’s a symptom of my current contract where that disagreement has been institutionalized in the style guide.) Mentoring can be anything from helping a friend with homework to providing life-changing guidance.

(I could not find any pictures of people I mention in here other than one I already posted, so I included a photo of me and Parker during the pre-wedding frenzy. Perhaps I am mentoring her here, as I believe we were formatting a sign, or something.)

Appetizer: Do you view yourself as a mentor? Why or why not?: Heck yeah! And being a mentor is a role I take seriously. I am honored to have the chance to mentor people. I really feel good when I can mentor new or not-very-confident knitters and help them become independent, problem-solving, yarn-addicted companions who have a fine lifelong hobby and a skill they can pass on to others. I am also very happy when I can serve as a mentor to teens and young adults. Everyone needs a confidential, nonjudgmental older friend to talk things over with, run things by, and get input from. It’s another thing I can pass along, as my mentors did for me.
Soup: Other than your parents, who was most influential in shaping the choices you made in your life?: Well, I read a lot, so much of the direction my thought processes went in came from books. But, when I was a teen, I talked a lot to some of our neighbors, who often gathered at our house and talked about their issues. I learned a lot of what I didn’t want to do (marry young with no education, get involved with nice folks who happened to be drug smugglers). And I learned a lot of good, too. I talked a lot to my boyfriend’s mother and grandmother (Delores and Boo), who modeled the kind of parenting and love I wanted for my children. And the high school boyfriend, Corey, influenced me the most. We talked and talked about our religious, political, philosophical and practical beliefs. I would say he’s my biggest influence. In college, a civics professor named Fred Shenkman took a lot of us kids under his wing—I’d say my political beliefs were strongly influenced by him. And in grad school, I’ve already talked about my adviser, Georgia Green Morgan, who also strongly influenced me (and continues to). And finally, when I was first out working and starting my family, the dear and wonderful Roberta Bishop Johnson steered me in the right direction by providing a clear example of someone who loves all of humanity, respects everyone, mothers with all her heart, and uses her considerable intellect to help others. I would be very different if I hadn’t met her (she is a future Wednesday Wonder). All these were adults I could talk to about anything, and whom I could rely on to tell me the truth, even if I wouldn’t like it.
Salad: Other than your children or siblings, whose life have you influenced most?: That sounds like just one person. I don’t really know who I influenced the most, or if I even influence anyone. I probably influenced Tina a little. Maybe Jody some. I’m pretty sure I’ve helped Parker out some, and maybe a couple of Beccano’s friends who have asked me things in confidence. And of course, I have influenced some knitters, but do you really know how you influence people? They usually don’t report back and tell you! I do know that I TRIED to influence a couple of people in my nonprofit job and am sure I failed royally on one.
Entré: What is your favorite experience as a mentor or mentee?: I remember a time when my friend Nancy Jo and I went to visit Roberta at her house, when she was dying from breast cancer. She knew she’d probably not see us again. We spent a long time sitting with her and listening to us share her “institutional knowledge” of the organization we all worked and volunteered for, but also she shared advice for us as parents of school-aged kids—for Nancy Jo as a lesbian just coming out of the closet, and for me as someone very confused about relationships. I am confident that this was one of the most important days of both of our lives.
Dessert: Do you have to know someone personally for that person to be your mentor? Please explain your position.: Hmm, to me, being a mentor involves exchanging information with each other—it’s a two way street, and each participant gets something out of it. People I don’t know but who influence me a lot I would more consider role models—like Barbara J. Walker has been for me.

Getting Rid of an Old Shell and Defining My Own Success

2009-03-12T15:12:00.003-05:00

Wow, I am a moody cuss. I had been having one of my periodic down times, and was perversely making things worse by reading the news, reading newspaper comments about the huge layoffs at the place where I am working now, listening to coworkers bemoaning stuff, and wallowing in all the bad news my friends and family are having.

(For example, Lee has ill relatives, Tuba Boy lost his job today, and yet another friend was laid off here.)

I told myself I need to get a grip on my attitude, and shed off the negativity shell just like our cicada friend in the photo shed its irrelevant shell. That means I have to focus on whatever positives I can come up with, and most important, get myself a plan. Once I have a real plan, I always feel better.

I have found some jobs to apply for, which I will do tonight, but a listing about Microsoft training that I saw on Craigslist reminded me that there’s no reason to not contact that nice training place I used to freelance at NOW to see if they have any openings. Well, that was an easy fix. They will be happy for me to do more for them! At least this means there will be SOME income after I transition out of this contract! I can still interview, teach knitting and see if I can do freelance editing, too. Whew.

I also decided to make a list of my successes. So often we view ourselves as successful vs. unsuccessful only based on what our capitalist US society deems important: how much money we make, and our job title. When I look at myself through that lens, I am inclined to feel pretty bad about myself. I went from a director-level job that paid well for a nonprofit to the lowest person on the totem pole doing my lowest-paid contract position so far. I appear to be sliding down.

Defining Your Own Success

But, maybe we need to define our own success, like my friend Diana did with her book on breastfeeding. Women with supply issues may not have a standard "successful" experience, but, if they define their own success, they can feel really good about what they can do. So, in that spirit, here are things which I have decided prove that I am a success!

Given instructions, I can knit almost anything.
I have raised two sons, one to age 18, who have not been arrested or fathered their own children.
I’ve learned to identify many of my negative patterns and to intercept them early (such as panicking when I have no plan).
I have finally found a partner I truly love and want to stay with the rest of our lives.
I’ve learned to be happy with what I have, and how to enjoy life, even with fewer resources to draw on.
I can cook a holiday meal all by myself if I have to.
I pay all my bills online. That makes me feel really successful and way less forgetful.
I have practiced treating people kindly, and meeting malice with kindness. And now people seem to like me a lot more.
I have made a commitment to peace and have stuck with it. I have a consistent viewpoint on that, which spans all sorts of areas of life.
Great progress has been made in my effort to avoid us vs. them thinking and to not lump all members of any group together. This has led me to have interesting friends and acquaintances from many cultures, races and religions, not to mention political viewpoints. I feel very successful about this.

OK, that’s plenty. If you are having trouble with feeling down on yourself, try this exercise. You may well see yourself in a very different light.

Wednesday Wonders #10: Beccano!

2009-03-11T10:28:00.003-05:00

This week I want to salute someone in my own family. Just don’t mention it to him, OK? Today’s Wednesday Wonder is my son, Beccano. Yeah, yeah, I go on and on about these kids all the time, but here I go again. Maybe once I write this you’ll see why.

Beccano has always been an incredibly creative person. That’s a given. Just look at that art he finished yesterday. It’s like my doodles used to be, only, well, better. And he made the stencil for the shirt in the picture of him, which was taken just a week ago. But, the creativity is just a part of him, and not why he’s been impressing me lately.

Beccano has had a hard time with traditional schooling. He is not someone meant to thrive in the US school environment. I am not a good homeschooler, and never had the money for a private school, so he’s had to muddle through. You may recall he had a really bad time at the end of elementary school (though it was before this blog). He was able to pull himself together, thanks to good therapy, and got through middle school OK. High school has been harder for him. And the last 6 weeks were a mess. He didn’t understand his Spanish (irregular preterits) or his Geometry, and even though he tried, he couldn’t bring up his grades. Here’s why I am proud, though. He does NOT take his issues with school as indicators that he is not an intelligent, worthy person (like I would have in his situation). He understands that he has a processing issue (that is what the testing revealed), and that it doesn’t mean he’s stupid. AND, he has buckled down and is getting more help, actually doing his homework (one of his unhelpful coping mechanisms is to just “forget” things—he is much better at this, but not great). He didn’t do this because we yelled at or threatened him. He did it because he knows he needs to get through high school and because he wants to do band contest. I am proud. I am just as proud of him as I am of his brother’s good grades!

I am also very proud of what a well rounded person he’s becoming. He keeps up with current events and can talk intelligently about all kinds of subjects. He is serious about music and actually practices. A lot. That is a huge change for the better—when he finds something he likes, he WILL concentrate! And he is moving past some of his isolationist tendencies. While his friends always call him the funny one and seem to enjoy him a lot at school, we never saw them here and he never hung out with them until recently. Thanks to joining the band, he has had to spend time with friends outside of school. That has enabled him to actually get a girlfriend, and has encouraged him to go to a party and a couple of school events. He’s really pushing himself to move beyond his comfort zone. This is a huge step toward maturity in him.

Plus, I see how kind he can be, how he cares for his friends and puts up with their quirks, and how he expresses appreciation to others. I am impressed with how he treats his band members and the kids in his circle, even if he complains about some of them, sometimes. He also seems to treat the girlfriend very well, too (I guess he’s watched his brother). It’s clear that he is loving, generous and thoughtful. The best recent example is that he went out of his way to get me the birthday gift I wanted, even though it was a financial stretch for him. I think he was as excited about it as it would have been for a gift for himself. I certainly responded in a way that reinforced the idea that giving is a good thing. But, that wasn’t hard, because I really, really love these Converse All Stars with a “The Who” theme. I have very happy feet!

It’s very heart-warming to see my little boy with the distant eyes growing up to figure out how he can be himself yet interact with the rest of the world positively. He’s different. Not standard issue. But, he is growing more flexible and confident. I just can’t wait to see what he does next, and know he will succeed in his own way, on his own terms.

That’s my Beccano!

Website for Beccano

Triskelion on MySpace

Soon-to-Be-Jobless Humor

2009-03-10T16:00:00.000-05:00

I had a funny experience today. I got four phone calls about jobs. I’d get all interested (at least for the first two), then it would dawn on me. These calls were for MY job. Luckily this was not a huge surprise, so I can laugh at it. I had a nice chat with the woman who runs the department where I am now, and it was warm and friendly. I got the explanation for a couple of things (like why no one has called me for the “real” advertised job I applied for--the usual hiring freeze), and we talked about options, like me coming back in the fall. I wonder how many more calls I will get about my own job? I am quite qualified for it!

I’ve got another month here, then I need to be doing something else. Ideas are appreciated, though this time, I have some good ideas of my own, and I think some options!

A Rockin' Good Time

2009-03-09T14:00:00.003-05:00

I hope your weekend was good—mine was just fine, though the time change threw us all for a loop and we were dragging by the end of Sunday.
Friday was a lot more fun than we’d thought it would be. With Tuba Boy off at his state debate tournament (they did OK but didn’t get any awards), and we thought Beccano off to watch some male beauty contest at school, Lee and I figured it would be a nice relaxing evening, which we really needed. But, I came home from work to find three teens in the kitchen making pizza—Beccano, Parker and their new French friend. Then Beccano’s girlfriend arrived. That ensured plenty of giggling. We actually had a really pleasant time sitting on the new patio and chatting. The photo is of French Friend sitting next to our fountain, on which we lit the flame for the first time. This picture was taken at night, but wow, that camera has some fine flash. When Lee came home with pretzels, the party was set. Eventually, Dean of Triskelion also came, and the teens wandered the cul-de-sac shrieking until I told them to cut that out. I may be a cool mom, but shrieking in front of a cop’s house is never a good idea, even if that cop is a former band chaperone, himself. I really do like having the kids around—sure makes it easy to keep track of them, and they are very funny and smart.

Saturday was another good day all around. I had a very nice time at the yarn shop, starting with some nice, quiet time chatting with the owner, and ending with me getting some delicious Italian Crème cake for the gang, to celebrate my birthday and another lady’s. I was surprised to get a couple of gifts, and really humbled at that. I think, because I am not a very inspired gift giver or birthday remember-er, that I get really touched when I get gifts or people remember me. I sort of feel unworthy, but I also feel happy to know such nice people. And that’s what’s important.

After I came home, Lee and I went to the garden supply place and had a great time wandering around discussing various plant choices. It’s so nice that he likes plants as much as me. We ended up choosing two really pretty variegated ginger plants to put in the new bed out by our air conditioning units, and some really pretty coleus plants to fill in around them. We got all kinds of different ones, since it was hard to decide which variety we liked best. The photos show them all planted. We have pink polka dot plant (hypoestes) in the front of them. I don’t know if pink really goes with the orangey coleus varieties, but I am sure it will be festive. Right now the polka dot plants are taller than the coleus, but if these grow like the ones in our back yard tend to, that won’t last long. Lee also put in the ones I rooted from last year. One variety is in its third year—plant recycling!

We actually have a lot of plant recycling at our house. Both our nicest geraniums made it through another winter with little damage, and though a recent wind/cold event did some damage, our poinsettias are also on their third year. It appears as though a lot of our begonias made it, as well. There’s a white one on at least its fourth year, but to my surprise a few that were in the ground made it, too. I see some pinks coming back, and even one or two plucky verbenas. We won’t have to put many new plants in for a while—the pansies are going out in a blaze of glory and I don’t want to pull them up yet.

Saturday night was really special. To celebrate Lee’s and my birthdays, we went to Segovia’s a Spanish restaurant in South Austin. The trip didn’t take any time at all, because it was almost all highway. And the food was yummy. Lee and I drank homemade sangria, which was dry but fruity. Parker and I had some amazing beef stew with cool seasonings in it, like cinnamon. It was so rich and tasty. Beccano had a steak, and Lee had roast suckling pork. I think I liked it better than he did (again, wonderful seasonings). What Lee and Beccano liked most about their meal was the “seasoned vegetables.” Sounds bland, but wow, whatever they seasoned them with was amazingly good. Parker and I practically fought over Beccano’s rejected red peppers (He ate every single morsel of his steak and mashed potatoes, though). But the dessert was best. So glad I decided to have some, because the bread pudding was the best I ever had. And I LOVE bread pudding and order it whenever I can. Honestly, I can only think of one other that sticks out in my mind as on par with this, and that was at a very fancy steak house in Chicago.

But, the reason we went down there was not the food! We went to see the first official gig of JT and the Quartertones, Jeff’s new band. First there was a guy and his sister playing gypsy-style classical guitar, and I liked it a LOT more than I thought I would. The melodies were really catchy and the technique quite wonderful. I was relieved that JT and company also did very well. There was a good turnout, including lots of people I don’t know, which means he’s actually been making some friends. Of course, he later saw all the flaws, but I don’t think anyone else did. It was a nice mix of his songs and cover tunes, and the versions of his songs were fresh and new. His solos really wowed the kids, so much so that Beccano wrote him and told him. Jeff said that was the first time he ever wrote him that wasn’t a response to something he’d sent. Parker took some pictures, but I think most of them didn’t come out. I hope we can get one, anyway.

That was all fun, fun, fun, but we were out really late (for us) on the worst night of the year to do it—by the time we got home it was “new time” after 1 am. That may explain why I am having time transition issues.

Yesterday we went to church, even though we weren’t having to sing or play, because it was the annual youth service. I am disappointed that Tuba Boy didn’t get to participate this year, but they did really good jobs without him. The kids are so grown up. The musicians were amazing. Brenna’s a professional, so that didn’t surprise me, but the two other kids who sang and played were not. And they were wonderful. Made me all weepy on “Imagine,” even. Plus we had a French horn solo to enjoy at the end. And they wrote really well and said great stuff about community service. Yay to all of them and their parents for raising such fine men and women. The day got really long because we stayed for Steering Committee, but I am glad we did it. We are at least contributing again. Or I am again and Lee is doing more than just music. The rest of the day is a blur of knitting, plants and tiredness. Tuba Boy made it home in one piece, and that was good.

Today I have been anxiously following the progress of a fire near a friend’s home in another state via Facebook and Twitter. Love modern technology. And later Lee and I are having dinner with minister Chuck and his woman friend, who I really like. That will be a nice ending to the day, I hope.

Food For Thought #7

2009-03-07T08:35:00.004-06:00

Bonus photo is our red bud tree at night.

Appetizer: When it comes to the weekend, do they usually measure up to your expectations?: I tend to wish they were longer, so I'd have a day with nothing I felt obligated to do. But, on weekends at least I get to do the "work" I like (teaching knitting) and I get to see my friends at church and usually sing something, which is another thing I like to do. So, those aren't horrible obligations. I always hope to get a LOT of knitting done, but to also do fun things with the family. One of those usually happens!
Soup: What good thing happened this week that you were not expecting?: My oldest son gave me a birthday gift, but more wonderful, a hand-made card that was really, really funny. Those are the kinds of things you will always treasure. I keep carrying it around and showing it to people.
Salad: If one end of a scale is, “I like to have every second of my day planned and executed according to that plan”mand the other end is “I like to take life as it comes, completely spontaneously,” where do you fit?: I'm in the middle, I guess. I would like to know I am going out of town, but if we took a different road or went somewhere else, that would usually be fun. And I like knowing we are going out to eat, but where is not important. I generally want weekends unstructured, if I can swing it.
Entré: Do things just happen, or do we control what happens in our lives?: I have a strong existentialist bent, which would mean that there's no master plan out there, but I think each decision we make affects what direction things will go in.
Dessert: What are your plans, if any, for the weekend.: Teach knitting, move the bird to a new spot in the house, go to a birthday dinner with family and friends and see a friend's new band, go to church and see the youth service, go to a fund-raiser concert in the evening. Next weekend is a baby shower.