Food For Thought #9: Theoretically Speaking

Appetizer: What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Coffee. Usually I have oatmeal during the week, a pastry on Saturday and nothing on Sunday.

Soup: Phish or Monkees?

Monkees. I am old.

Salad: What is your first reaction when you hear the phrase, “I don’t believe in evolution”?

Facts are not things you can believe in or not. But, go ahead and live your life that way, if that's what you're comfortable with.

I could say the flower is not pink. But it's still pink.

Entré: What do you think about attempts to legislate science or even just how science is taught?

It's certainly nothing new. I would prefer my children to be taught, and for me to learn, whatever the newest ideas are, whatever the newest evidence has been found for, and whatever discoveries are being made. Some ideas will be shown to be inaccurate or even wrong, but may lead to reveal other facts. I am not comfortable with forcing people to learn concepts that have no basis in reality or fact. I am not sure how that's going to work out in the long run, when things end up simply not working that way.

Dessert: Has the word “theory” been stripped of its scientific meaning or become loaded with excess emotional baggage?

As with all words, meaning will differ depending on who is speaking, who is listening, and the assumptions they each make and share. Same as it ever was.

Food for Thought #9: Mentoring

Lee says: Everyone is a mentor, and everyone has at least one mentor who has helped defined the guiding principles of their lives. (Ignore the numeric disagreement between noun and pronoun. It’s a symptom of my current contract where that disagreement has been institutionalized in the style guide.) Mentoring can be anything from helping a friend with homework to providing life-changing guidance.

(I could not find any pictures of people I mention in here other than one I already posted, so I included a photo of me and Parker during the pre-wedding frenzy. Perhaps I am mentoring her here, as I believe we were formatting a sign, or something.)

Appetizer: Do you view yourself as a mentor? Why or why not?

Heck yeah! And being a mentor is a role I take seriously. I am honored to have the chance to mentor people. I really feel good when I can mentor new or not-very-confident knitters and help them become independent, problem-solving, yarn-addicted companions who have a fine lifelong hobby and a skill they can pass on to others. I am also very happy when I can serve as a mentor to teens and young adults. Everyone needs a confidential, nonjudgmental older friend to talk things over with, run things by, and get input from. It’s another thing I can pass along, as my mentors did for me.

Soup: Other than your parents, who was most influential in shaping the choices you made in your life?

Well, I read a lot, so much of the direction my thought processes went in came from books. But, when I was a teen, I talked a lot to some of our neighbors, who often gathered at our house and talked about their issues. I learned a lot of what I didn’t want to do (marry young with no education, get involved with nice folks who happened to be drug smugglers). And I learned a lot of good, too. I talked a lot to my boyfriend’s mother and grandmother (Delores and Boo), who modeled the kind of parenting and love I wanted for my children. And the high school boyfriend, Corey, influenced me the most. We talked and talked about our religious, political, philosophical and practical beliefs. I would say he’s my biggest influence. In college, a civics professor named Fred Shenkman took a lot of us kids under his wing—I’d say my political beliefs were strongly influenced by him. And in grad school, I’ve already talked about my adviser, Georgia Green Morgan, who also strongly influenced me (and continues to). And finally, when I was first out working and starting my family, the dear and wonderful Roberta Bishop Johnson steered me in the right direction by providing a clear example of someone who loves all of humanity, respects everyone, mothers with all her heart, and uses her considerable intellect to help others. I would be very different if I hadn’t met her (she is a future Wednesday Wonder). All these were adults I could talk to about anything, and whom I could rely on to tell me the truth, even if I wouldn’t like it.

Salad: Other than your children or siblings, whose life have you influenced most?

That sounds like just one person. I don’t really know who I influenced the most, or if I even influence anyone. I probably influenced Tina a little. Maybe Jody some. I’m pretty sure I’ve helped Parker out some, and maybe a couple of Beccano’s friends who have asked me things in confidence. And of course, I have influenced some knitters, but do you really know how you influence people? They usually don’t report back and tell you! I do know that I TRIED to influence a couple of people in my nonprofit job and am sure I failed royally on one.

Entré: What is your favorite experience as a mentor or mentee?

I remember a time when my friend Nancy Jo and I went to visit Roberta at her house, when she was dying from breast cancer. She knew she’d probably not see us again. We spent a long time sitting with her and listening to us share her “institutional knowledge” of the organization we all worked and volunteered for, but also she shared advice for us as parents of school-aged kids—for Nancy Jo as a lesbian just coming out of the closet, and for me as someone very confused about relationships. I am confident that this was one of the most important days of both of our lives.

Dessert: Do you have to know someone personally for that person to be your mentor? Please explain your position.

Hmm, to me, being a mentor involves exchanging information with each other—it’s a two way street, and each participant gets something out of it. People I don’t know but who influence me a lot I would more consider role models—like Barbara J. Walker has been for me.

Food for Thought #6

Today Lee asks questions that are too hard for first thing in the morning, especially after typing all those albums yesterday, but here I go.

Appetizer: Read the appetizer in full before acting. Focus on this screen. Then close your eyes and turn your head to the right. What is the first thing your eyes focus on when you open them?

I wish I could say Lee, but in actuality, I focused on the streetlight outside. It's so windy I had to look out and see if everything was still there.

Soup: When something good happens to someone you work with, how do you react?

I am generally happy for them. The only time I wasn't was when we were in competition for the same job and I came in second. And I really thought I was the better candidate. In retrospect, it's OK because that job got sent to India last year.

Salad: If something happened in your career that doubled your income, what is the first thing you would do?

I'd probably collapse from relief that I can stop worrying. After that, I would pay off any debt I had. Then I think I would put new floors and counters in the house. Wow, rivetingly exciting.

Entré: How do we acquire our drives, the parts of us that make us want to accomplish one thing versus another thing?

I guess I didn't want to be as financially struggling as my parents, and I didn't want to spend my whole life sitting in front of a TV smoking like my mom. So, I tried to do well.

Dessert: What made you happy today?

Since today just started, I will go with yesterday. A nice dinner with Lee, and a mini tuba concert from Tuba Boy made me happy. I will miss his last solo and ensemble competition, so I wanted to hear his solo.

Foor for Thought #5: Travel

Today Lee asks us about our travel adventures. Or lack of them.

Appetizer: Have you ever travelled outside your native country?

Why, yes, I have. I have been to Canada (barely), Mexico (twice), Ireland (lots of times), England, Wales, and Switzerland (one day, with jet lag). I have also been to the US Virgin Islands, which technically is the US, but also is sorta not.

Soup: What's the farthest from home you have ever ventured?

I guess that would be Switzerland. It was on a work trip for my ex, and we tacked a visit to his family in Ireland onto that. I had a baby and a toddler at the time, so rousing their jet lagged selves to do anything at all in Switzerland was hard. The promise of seeing a train got Tuba Boy motivated, so we got to enjoy the famed Swiss punctuality with a little train ride, followed by a mandatory Toblerone purchase. The next morning, I had to fly to Ireland alone. The worst part was getting them on and off the plane, and through customs, since both were asleep (Tuba Boy kept falling asleep standing up, and Beccano was at his Michelin Man portliest) and I had to part with my stroller. Thank goodness for total strangers who helped. The ex joined us after his work conference and that became the infamous trip where we left Beccano in the middle of downtown Dublin, asleep in his stroller. Ha, good memories, since we got him back, and he never even knew he'd been abandoned. Henceforth, we developed a very strict "who has each child" checklist.

Salad: Do you plan to travel abroad any time in the future, however long it may be? If so, where?

Well, I guess some day I won't be a contractor living in the middle of the Even Greater Depression, so I guess I'll go. It appears I will need to go to New Zealand or Australia, which are OK, I guess, since they lack people who will attack me and killer parasites (see below). If it were up to me, I'd like to visit pretty much everywhere in Scandinavia, Iceland, everwhere in Europe, every single inhabited island off the coast of Europe, all of the Virgin Islands, Nova Scotia, British Columbia, and perhaps Argentina.

However, I have no immediate plans to go to any of these places.

Entré: What would deter you most, fear of being targeted as an American, the security considerations of your on nation, or something else?

The following things would deter me:

• The fact that I am a woman will keep me out of any country that is predominately Islamic until I have a lot of proof that the country is moderate and doesn't plan to kill me if my ankle accidentally shows. It will also keep me away from some Asian countries
  


• I've already learned to deal with anti-Americanism by not talking whenever possible and dressing like the people who live where I am going, not like an American. I'd wear Obama buttons right now if I went to Europe, since I hear that helps. But there are many places I just would not go. Right now, Russia is one place. I am fine with not going where I am not welcome.
  


• Then there are diseases and parasites. Sorry, but I have had enough friends get horrible things that live in them then pop out, contract malaria, or get some really awful, long-lasting illness after travel. I am just gonna skip the Amazon, thanks. And most of Africa (seems like every country there has a disease/parasite issue, a crazed government issue, or fundamentalist Islam issue).


• I am not overly worried about US security. I think I am boring enough that they won't throw me in jail when I come back, and since I don't have too much money, I think I'll be OK on the customs form.

Dessert: If you could go anywhere in the world for free, where would you most want to go?

Right now, honestly, I'd either go to my dad in North Carolina and help him move or go home and hang out in Gainesville, Florida for a while. I'll go all those other places in my head, I guess.

Food for Thought #4: Valentine Edition

Here's a nice photo of the heart doily I knit for the yarn shop last year. Very romantic, I know.

Appetizer: What is your strongest childhood memory about Valentine’s Day?

I remember in first grade the redbud trees were blooming at Valentine's Day (we were in Florida, so trees bloom early). My friend Jones Phillips, who was a "delicate" boy and I decided the falling blossoms looked like hearts, and for days played a game of "Valentine's Cupids" where we sang a song and picked up the flowers and sprinkled them on other kids. It's really a nice memory.

Soup: Who was your first crush?

Also back in first grade, my crush was the charming, freckle-faced red-head (hey just like Lee's!) Paul Woodfrin.

Salad: Did your crush return the feelings?

Oh, yes indeed. He attempted to kiss me one day and I spit on him. It's the worst trouble I ever got in at school. Our punishment was that I had to go play at his house and "be friends." Oddly, my mother also made me go play at Jones's house, too. He had a lot of GI Joes that he wanted to dress in my doll's outfits. I also remember he would NOT eat the crust of bread, and I think if I'd known the word "wimp" at the time, I would have called him that. Both were nice boys, though. Mom never drove me down the block to play with girls. Perhaps because there were 4 other girls my age on my street, but, hmm.

Entré: Other than the massacre, what does Valentine’s Day make you think of?

Not much. I've never had a bad time with the holiday, and never been overly thrilled. I like telling people you care about that you like them, so that's OK. And I like pretty cards. I prefer the candy on February 15, when it's half off, though.

Dessert: What are you going to do for your Valentine this year?

Lee and I had a nice meal last week, when the kids were out of town, and we got our new patio furniture then, with our wedding gift certificates. That was plenty of romance! Tomorrow Lee, Tuba Boy and I will go to a financial aid form workshop. That is less than romantic. I'd wanted to go to a yarn shop in south Austin, where the founders of the Ravelry online community will be visiting, but I need to do my other yarn shop work after the workshop, so that's out. Maybe the kids will make me cards or sing me a song, and we can have a nice meal.

Food for Thought #3

Appetizer: What was the last song that got stuck in your head?

Well, I had no idea what the name of this song was. So I typed in lyrics and discovered it is "Dyer Maker" by Led Zeppelin. I apparently do not know the name of ANY Led Zep song. I keep having to ask Beccano and Parker what the names of the ones they play are. Anyway, this song is in my head right now. "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you don't have to go-o."

Soup: What does that song make you think of?

Triskelion, the band Beccano and Parker are currently in. I love all the band member drama, rehearsal issues and equipment lugging. It's what I wish I could have done in high school. But nooooo, I sang a lot of madrigals.

Salad: What is your favorite song in a language other than your native tongue?

"Lo siento mi vida," sung by Linda Ronstadt.

Entré: If video killed the radio star, will the Internet kill Literature?

Really. That's a question? Things will continue to change and (dare I say) evolve, and the kinds of literary experiences people have may differ. But, humans love to tell stories and listen to stories. That won't stop.

Dessert: What was the last thing you read for the pleasure of reading?

Rolling Stone or Car & Driver magazine. I forget which is the last one. Interesting. I listed physical objects. The last thing I read for fun was someone's blog. I love reading little snippets of other people's lives.

Food for Thought #2

Lee is calling this "Food for Thought" Now, so I will too. Not much else is happening, so this should be fun.

Appetizer: Look to your left. What color do notice see first?

Black. My laptop case is next to me. Most everything here is black, gray or white, unless it is that shade of blue in the corporate logo. I am at work, eating lunch.

Soup: What type of beans do you enjoy most?

The attractive and delicious black-eyed pea, about which I rhapsodized at New Year's. I love that smokey flavor.

Salad: What was the most interesting thing that happened during the last week?

Since Lee was sick and nothing much else was going on, probably the new Bruce Springsteen album was it for me.

Entré: What was the most difficult decision your had to make in the last year? How did you decide?

In the past week or so I have had to come to the decision to have poor old Gwynnie euthanized. She is almost unable to walk and is losing control of her bladder. She has so much trouble getting around. She just can't be enjoying life any more. Now I just have to get it done. I do not like this, but it is probably the kindest thing to do.

Dessert: Among your friends and family, who has the next birthday?

My friend Deana has a birthday in mid-February and so does Jody. There are probably others. I am not good with birthdays. My dad is February 25.