This came across my church chat list, and while usually I am not fond of mass email forwards, this one cracked me up. I do have a few questions on it, which will appear at the end.
Begin Internet Forwarded Message:
Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda".
I certainly hope it will assist all of you so that you will be prepared when these leaders reveal their plan...
The Homosexual Agenda...
6:00 am: Gym
8:00 am: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)
9:00 am: Hair appointment
10:00 am: Shopping (preferably at Neiman's or Saks)
12:00 pm: Brunch
2:00 pm: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy all healthy marriages, replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, bulldoze all houses of worship, secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media.
2:15 pm: Be fabulous
2:30 pm: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest
4:00 pm: Cocktails
6:00 pm: Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)
8:00 pm: Theatre
10:30 pm: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"
End Forwarded Internet Message
My Questions:
1. Who or whom is the Head Homosexual? Can I nominate anyone?
2. Should I tell my gay friends? What if they missed the memo?
3. Could someone please send me the Liberal Agenda? I am now feeling lost because I am not sure what I should be doing right now, though a shower seems like a good idea.
Yes, I am aware the email plays upon gay stereotypes. And I am abundantly aware that most gay people aren't stereotypical in most ways. It's just cute, that's all. And am I not the typical liberal, apologizing for some light-hearted humor, in case someone humorless takes offense. Sigh. What's the world coming to? Don't answer. I know.
I hope to post something less silly later today.
Showing posts with label homosexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homosexuality. Show all posts
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Thinking Happy Thoughts
First happy thought (which I will get to in a bit): I have certainly had a lot of hair looks. Here's one, from 2004. The short dark-haired effect with stripes. I grew my hair out when "someone" who lived at my house said I looked like a lesbian. Did I care if I looked like one? Not really--that was HIS stereotype, not mine (knowing plenty o' lesbians with lotsa hair and plenty with butch cuts, too). But his attitude had me irritated, so hair began to grow so he'd remember I was a heterosexual woman...one who wasn't going to be romantically involved with HIM any more. And thus began "roommate."
I digress. The happy thing is that, while I have liked my yellowish hair for 13 months now. I think I will do something different today. Perhaps more orange. Or burgundy. Only my sweet hairdresser man knows for sure what the plan is at this moment, but in 4 hours, so will I.
Photos will come. I just hope I don't end up with Tammy Wynette hair again.
The other happy thought is in honor of Coming Out Day. Because I am actually fond of my gay, lesbian and transgender friends, family members and acquaintances. I would love it if they had the same rights as I do. I will do what I can to help with this, such as pick who I vote for carefully, and make it clear that a primary reason I didn't want to marry again was that my gay and lesbian fellow humans are banned from doing so in this fine state. They deserve access to the same legal protections and legal obligations as anyone else. And the right to carry on a patriarchal institution is that's what they want (oh yeah, my OTHER reason for not liking the Institution of Marriage).
But , please read this nice article in today's local newspaper, which is what cheered me up. It is nice to see all kinds of people showing up to make it clear that all of us humans deserve the same rights. Good for you, nice people of Austin!
Best wishes to all, from the woman of many hair lengths and colors. I hope I sound slightly less grumpy. I applied for a different job today, too.
I digress. The happy thing is that, while I have liked my yellowish hair for 13 months now. I think I will do something different today. Perhaps more orange. Or burgundy. Only my sweet hairdresser man knows for sure what the plan is at this moment, but in 4 hours, so will I.
Photos will come. I just hope I don't end up with Tammy Wynette hair again.
The other happy thought is in honor of Coming Out Day. Because I am actually fond of my gay, lesbian and transgender friends, family members and acquaintances. I would love it if they had the same rights as I do. I will do what I can to help with this, such as pick who I vote for carefully, and make it clear that a primary reason I didn't want to marry again was that my gay and lesbian fellow humans are banned from doing so in this fine state. They deserve access to the same legal protections and legal obligations as anyone else. And the right to carry on a patriarchal institution is that's what they want (oh yeah, my OTHER reason for not liking the Institution of Marriage).
But , please read this nice article in today's local newspaper, which is what cheered me up. It is nice to see all kinds of people showing up to make it clear that all of us humans deserve the same rights. Good for you, nice people of Austin!
Best wishes to all, from the woman of many hair lengths and colors. I hope I sound slightly less grumpy. I applied for a different job today, too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)