This came across my church chat list, and while usually I am not fond of mass email forwards, this one cracked me up. I do have a few questions on it, which will appear at the end.
Begin Internet Forwarded Message:
Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda".
I certainly hope it will assist all of you so that you will be prepared when these leaders reveal their plan...
The Homosexual Agenda...
6:00 am: Gym
8:00 am: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)
9:00 am: Hair appointment
10:00 am: Shopping (preferably at Neiman's or Saks)
12:00 pm: Brunch
2:00 pm: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy all healthy marriages, replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, bulldoze all houses of worship, secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media.
2:15 pm: Be fabulous
2:30 pm: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest
4:00 pm: Cocktails
6:00 pm: Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)
8:00 pm: Theatre
10:30 pm: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"
End Forwarded Internet Message
My Questions:
1. Who or whom is the Head Homosexual? Can I nominate anyone?
2. Should I tell my gay friends? What if they missed the memo?
3. Could someone please send me the Liberal Agenda? I am now feeling lost because I am not sure what I should be doing right now, though a shower seems like a good idea.
Yes, I am aware the email plays upon gay stereotypes. And I am abundantly aware that most gay people aren't stereotypical in most ways. It's just cute, that's all. And am I not the typical liberal, apologizing for some light-hearted humor, in case someone humorless takes offense. Sigh. What's the world coming to? Don't answer. I know.
I hope to post something less silly later today.
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Monday, January 21, 2008
Friday, August 24, 2007
What Keeps Us Going
What keeps us going and slogging through each day, no matter what stress or strife comes up?
Love is one thing. Love for my kids is basically what got me through 2000-2006. And love for my expanded family has things even better!
Learning is another. When the world stinks, you can't do anything about it, or you are chafing at "the way things are" like Tuba Boy is these days, you can always come back to learning. That's a big part of why I am still here. There are still things to be learned in this life!
Then there's laughter. Humor truly helps when things are scary, stressful, difficult or tedious. Thank goodness it's everywhere in my house. From dogs and their antics to Lee and the kids, there's always something funny!
Beccano has been developing a keen sense of humor, as I've mentioned. He does a lot of puns, makes up jokes, and is also adept at physical humor. An example is this picture. He was playing with his hair (needs hair cut, yes I know, Father of Beccano) and wanted to be a unicorn. So he piled on the gel, but it didn't quite work. It did make these lovely curls however. So once again, the boy mugs for the camera. We have quite a collection of his facial contortions--I'm going to have to make a collage of "The Many Moods of Beccano."
I hope this gives you some Friday fun!
Love is one thing. Love for my kids is basically what got me through 2000-2006. And love for my expanded family has things even better!
Learning is another. When the world stinks, you can't do anything about it, or you are chafing at "the way things are" like Tuba Boy is these days, you can always come back to learning. That's a big part of why I am still here. There are still things to be learned in this life!
Then there's laughter. Humor truly helps when things are scary, stressful, difficult or tedious. Thank goodness it's everywhere in my house. From dogs and their antics to Lee and the kids, there's always something funny!
Beccano has been developing a keen sense of humor, as I've mentioned. He does a lot of puns, makes up jokes, and is also adept at physical humor. An example is this picture. He was playing with his hair (needs hair cut, yes I know, Father of Beccano) and wanted to be a unicorn. So he piled on the gel, but it didn't quite work. It did make these lovely curls however. So once again, the boy mugs for the camera. We have quite a collection of his facial contortions--I'm going to have to make a collage of "The Many Moods of Beccano."
I hope this gives you some Friday fun!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
LOLDogz
Here's the kind of thing that cheers you up. When your precious pups engage in mutual mouth cleaning, how can you be all stressed out?
And the picture was taken with my "new" camera. Which the folks at Canon said was not broken. They cleaned it or something and it works marginally better. Grr.
Getting the kids ready for school this week, so they are not LOL-ing much. Thank goodness Lee can help, since I was all booked today and it was Tuba Boy's registration day. Tomorrow is "Colt Camp" for Beccano, but it's in the evening. Yay.
We are still thinking positively about job opportunities! It's as much work looking for work as it is working, and Lee's finding that out. The stress is giving us nightmares and weird tarot cards, but otherwise, I think we are doing fine. All the good thoughts and energy are appreciated!
And the picture was taken with my "new" camera. Which the folks at Canon said was not broken. They cleaned it or something and it works marginally better. Grr.
Getting the kids ready for school this week, so they are not LOL-ing much. Thank goodness Lee can help, since I was all booked today and it was Tuba Boy's registration day. Tomorrow is "Colt Camp" for Beccano, but it's in the evening. Yay.
We are still thinking positively about job opportunities! It's as much work looking for work as it is working, and Lee's finding that out. The stress is giving us nightmares and weird tarot cards, but otherwise, I think we are doing fine. All the good thoughts and energy are appreciated!
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