Sweet 16 and not interested in getting kissed

How could you be thinking about kissing when you have Guitar Hero to play for hours and hours? It's a good thing, I guess, since the previous game he was obsessing over for Christmas must be about finished. Anyway, that's the 16-yr-old with his new haircut and new "guitar."

Hey, I like that game, though--all the music is from my generation!

We've all spent the Older Boy's 16th Birthday/MLK Day holiday at home, because the weather got scary here and they sent us all home. Lee and I did crawl into work, but crawled back soon thereafter. Lee is feeling better, but I seem to have the sinus attack germ now, so I am very glad to be home and medicated.

One more of the "milestones" of getting through the transition to a new partner is finally over, too. I finally told my dad about Lee. I think he's thrilled that I asked RM to move along, but probably not thrilled I have a new dude already. I am perfectly aware that it has to be tiresome for there never to be a break between dudes, but honest, this one was different, I swear. Honest. Hee hee. Dad seems to be OK, though my stepmother has a weird issue with her foot that they can't resolve. She will be 70 tomorrow. Wow. My family is aging. We all are.

At least we are proving we can stand each other sick. And having a fun day of laundry and household catch-up. For once, all the websites I do are caught up, I owe no other work, and I can just relax a bit. Well, and think about how I would like to get a new refrigerator sooner rather than later. Ours is still unhappy.

Sinking into a Pit

Hi, I guess. I had written a long, thoughtful post on the Blogger interface and the darned computer crashed and lost the whole thing. I was heartbroken--it was decent writing and not "my diary" reporting of my life. So, I am trying to remember to write in some other interface and paste it in.

I wish my networking were going better. I know that sending out resumes and perky cover letters is not the best way to get a job these days. Of course, in the back of my mind I wish I could just be treated respectfully and be allowed to do my current job as best I can, at an income level I can live on, but that doesn't seem to be the plan. Another colleague's job was eliminated in the latest budget cuts, and they announced it yesterday. Makes me sick to my stomach. The Titanic has just lurched again, and I can't find the lifeboats.

Well, I had planned to talk about something more interesting--why I am having such trouble in correspondence with an old, close friend, catching up on what has happened to me in the last 15 years or so. Why am I embarrassed at how I have ended up unable to really support the family, with a partner who can't help, and in a job that's imploding? I think I just feel bad that someone who appeared to be intelligent and to have good prospects has done such a dismal job of making ends meet. I couldn't manage to pick a decent partner who'd stay with me and support me and the children, , I couldn't find a job that provided training so I could stay current, and supported my projects, and...oh, I don't know. I am whining, and I had promised not to whine in the blog. I guess I just don't feel good about myself, and right now, who could blame me? Of course it's the exact WRONG time to be feeling bad about myself--I need to market my good points and convince people I can do a good job in a high-paying position. Yum.

It doesn't help that my partner is more depressed than usual, too, and with his lack of income and zillion reasons why not to do it, he can't/won't seek help.

I am, however, really happy my old friend from my former life showed up again. I'd hated losing him when he ran off to hide in a submarine.