Woo Doggies

It's been another emotionally rough week for me. I am still really unhappy with how people have been treating each other. I am watching less television news and blocking some people's Facebook feeds. That helps. And I had a great conversation with some coworkers at lunch one day that made me feel a lot better about how world events are going and what we can do about it. For the most part, I work with incredibly bright people who can share ideas without shutting down the conversation. I have learned a lot from them, and mostly am relieved that these incredibly bright people mostly see things the way I do.



Other worried involve losing communities I care about. My grumpiness has led me to avoid large group gatherings, so I haven't hung around the knitting shop lately. And the need for money has been leading my church community toward a much less unique format that focuses on growth and recruiting new members and less on the things that made it a unique oasis for people for whom a traditional church format didn't work. I am trying to find ways to handle it productively. I joined a new women's group (where I feel very young!) and am taking the classes required to start a "chalice group" (small group ministry). I hope to start a group that focuses on tarot and spirituality, so I will be able to grow close to a small group with similar interests. I hope this is a productive way of handling my issues, rather than whining or talking to the wrong people who will say useful stuff like, "oh, you are just not good with change," or "it's just an experiment." Hmm. I heard THAT at the Dysfunctional Nonprofit Organization, a lot. They're still firmly enmeshed in their craziness.



In good news, we decided to go to Padre Island next weekend with a small group from our church. I used to love to go to those weekends in the Olden Days. There are just 10 groups going, so it should be nice and intimate. I am so glad there is no football next weekend so we could do it! The months after that will be band and more band! This will be Lee's and my first "vacation" with at least one of my kids. And our first outing of more than one day, if we can get dog care!

The other thing I am sorta worrying about is that Lee is going to be teaching in Arizona for most of next month. I am glad he got the new job, but won't enjoy that much time apart. I guess I thought these things were a week at a time, at most. I am sure I can handle it--at least Beccano will be here. Guess I will knit a lot.

Well, I actually had a lot of things to write about, but the wonderful rain we have been having the past few days (yes, we sure needed it!) has really done a number on my poor sinuses. Take care, my 3 readers, and if you want to send me encouragement, you know where to find me!

Am I Happy? Do I Know It?

I've been feeling odd. I think maybe those menopausal hormones that have left me alone for nearly 51 years are a-comin' to get me or something. For the past week or so I have often been moved to happy tears, but also easily upset (I thought I was going to vomit trying to watch The Dark Knight), and easily irritated.

Some of the Presidential inauguration things have truly moved me. Obama has posted some messages on his website that are very inspiring to me, and the concert they had today made me tear up for joy. We had a lovely church service today focusing on Odetta, the late folk singer, and it reminded me of all the really wonderful progress we have made toward civil rights. A church member of very mixed race spoke eloquently about discrimination she has dealt with in her life, and her hopes for her and her children's future. I had on my "Hope" button. Sometimes I do have hope, even though it is often a small spark. But...

The First Thing That Has Bugged Me

But some things have made me really sad and/or hormonally pissed off. I saw the following as the status message of a freshman boy, a child whose parents I have known a long time:

Well all you democrats, you're about to get what you wanted. An earth-destroying, pro-gay and abortion terrorist who'll be assassinated before the months' end.

Oh my. That manages to offend me and my personal beliefs in so many ways that mental bells rang and every personal button I have was bushed. Then another kid (one who is smart, and nice but strongly buys into everything his church says which leads him to occasional insensitivity) piped in that he agreed with everything but the killing part.

I was relieved when other students said they thought that what he said wasn't good. But I kept thinking. I realize this kid is young. But, wow, he needs to learn that there are ways to express an opinion that don't totally alienate friends and family, and that there are ways to share a thought that don't put down others or make yourself look ignorant and bigoted. The other thing the poor lad needs to know is that Facebook is not just a thing for people with ill-thought-out opinions to air them. Adults sometimes see what you write. Worse, potential employers may. At the least sharing racist, homophobic and unreasonably violent thoughts can alienate you from people you might need help from later (a favor, a recommendation, a ride to a band performance, say...). So, even though I don't usually do such things, I wrote a little note. I pointed these things out, as nicely as I could.

The second kid immediately realized I was right, said a couple of reasonable "agree to disagree" things and went away. The first kid's GIRLFRIEND thanked me (I thought that was pretty funny). In fact, I think I got the point across to everyone except the original kid, who deleted all the comments and informed us that he wasn't asking for advice.

I feel sad for this boy, who is parroting something her heard and has not thought through. I feel sad for a few others whose similar postings I have read in the past and not said anything (the son of a former friend lost a lot of friends by posting total ravings about Obama that weren't based on every close to reasonable conjecture). I'm sad mostly because I know there are a number of adults out there whose thought processes don't go much further than this high school freshman's either. When there are people who just reacting and not thinking, and lots of them, the chances for reconciliation are slim.

Sigh. I have a fair number of friends who are conservative. One who is very far to the right, even, about whom I care a great deal. But all of these people have thought carefully about why they believe what they do, and feel secure enough in their beliefs that they don't feel compelled to put me down because I think differently. We can talk about things, share our viewpoints, learn from each other. I am very glad to have these friends, because by knowing them well, I am reminded that "right-wing evangelical conservatives" or "Catholic Anti-abortionists" or "Mormons who are against gay marriage" are a great deal more than these one-dimensional stereotypes imply. They are parents, teachers, crafters, great cooks, people with great senses of humor, confused people, confident people, loving friends. They are humans with good and bad points, just like us crazy pro-choice liberals (or whatever stereotype you wish to apply to me). You just can't hate a group if you know the "human-ness" of the group's members. So no, I don't hate conservatives, self-defined rednecks, blah blah blah. I just disagree on some points.

And while I'm on a roll, here's what I wrote earlier on Facebook about something else I am hormonally jacked up about (please go directly to the comments if you already read this; once is plenty).

If I'm Happy and I Know It, Why Can't I Clap My Hands?

Something's been bugging me for a while. It's about the recent elections. The candidate I supported won. That had not happened in a really long time. I was happy. I had reason to have a wee bit of hope for the future (bearing in mind I have lost a lot of jobs in the last few years and things aren't looking too good for my current contract turning permanent, any hope is good). The majority of US voters agreed to choose a leader who shares a lot of my views (not all, but someone with all my views would NEVER get elected!).

Then I started reading odd things. People who voted for the other candidate expressed sincere indignation that voters for the winning side were so darned happy. They had the nerve to say they were happy in emails, or on their Facebook status, or in their blogs. How dare they be so happy when there were other people who were darned unhappy?

Well. Hmm. I noticed a lot of jubilation. But very little in the way of put-downs of the other candidate (I grant that there are liberal jerks, of course--jerkiness knows no boundaries). In fact, many people respect the losing candidate greatly for his many contributions to the country, but simply disagreed with him on some important issues. I respect that man, myself, and might have chosen him over some Democrats, even. What on earth is wrong with being happy that you won, as long as you don't defame the people who lost?

Now, let's go back 8 years. The candidate I did not vote for won. I really, really, really didn't like this guy, who happened to have been the governor of my own state, so I had experienced his true disregard for "the little people" and his love for multinational corporations, oil conglomerates and the very rich. This fellow was declared the winner without winning a majority of votes and in fact, there's a lot of evidence that one state's votes were tampered with so that he'd win. Yet, I heard a great deal of gloating that this inarticulate fellow had a "mandate from the people." I did not see people who agreed with me wailing and gnashing their teeth--in fact they were pretty darned wimpy, and chalked it up to the democratic process and moved on to quietly work for peace and change in the middle of wars for made-up reasons and horrible financial decisions. We let the winners be happy that they won, in that election and the next. We kept low, since the word "liberal" had been turned into an insult, and wondered why our beliefs were suddenly "bad."

So, things changed. People got tired of the big-business first, regular people last philosophy, and voted differently. That made some of us happy enough to actually say, tentatively, "Yeah, I'm a progressive," or "I'm against that war," etc. Our candidate won. Why can't we say we are happy?

You know, only one team wins the Super Bowl. That team's city has a big parade. They make a lot of t-shirts and bumper stickers. People are proud their team won. No one suggests that they really shouldn't express their joy because it makes the team that didn't win feel bad. Everyone knows the other team played hard and did their best, and deserves respect. Everyone knows that team will go back and work hard to win next time. But, the winner gets to be happy.

So hey, let me be happy and clap my hands this week. I know plenty of bad stuff is ahead--no one can work a miracle and fix things right now. No, the only way things can get fixed is if we all work together, and with the divisive, hate-filled and ignorant things I have been reading lately, I don't have a lot of hope that we'll work together. Too many people get a thrill out of demonizing people with different faces, places of worship, political leanings or fiscal philosophies.

I don't think anyone I know is a demon intent on destroying the world. I respect people's rights to make informed decisions and realize that through their families, life experiences or choice of religion, their beliefs might differ from mine. I do, though, find it really sad when people I care about put me and people with beliefs like mine down or make wildly exaggerated conjectures about our future actions, just because we are different.

Look, I don't honestly think Bush set out to cause the financial downfall of Western society as part of some big plan to fund the Rapture. So don't tell me Obama is going to pry all your precious guns away, either. The truth is usually way closer to the middle.

I'm going to go clap my hands and be happy for a couple of days, then get back to trying to figure out ways to keep my family safe in the upcoming scary times. Me being happy and saying so doesn't mean I think you didn't fight a good fight or that your beliefs don't count, conservative friends. I respect and care for you, just like I always did, and realize that this country will always have people in it with a wide spectrum of beliefs--we'll never turn into your Utopia, nor mine. I think we're all going to have to compromise in order to get along--always.

Your mileage may, naturally, vary. I expect it will.

In Conclusion

I hope that by writing this all out and walking away from it, I'll feel marginally better. Thanks for reading, all ten of you! Comments are welcome. Even dissenting ones (respectful, of course, puh-leeze).

A Nice Lull

I am happy to report that there isn't much going on right now. It's a lull. I have Yule gifts for the family all picked out, and that is about all I am doing gift-wise. I am all out of discretionary spending after throwing that big party/wedding last week! So, all my friends got the gift of a potluck then! I may throw in a couple of family surprises, but not too much. You know, the economy and all. I'll make Lee's dad a pair of socks pretty soon, because I know he will want some.

The week has been good and calm, mostly involving saying, "Yes, I AM happy," and looking at wedding pictures. Speaking of which, here is a link to some of the better ones taken by a professional-level friend. This is a good link, because from it you can buy prints, or if you wish, coffee mugs, aprons and such with Lee, me, or one of our attendants emblazoned on them. Sure, you want to do that...anyway, the hilariously Photoshopped photo of us and the cake came from that batch. I was bored, OK?

I have been enjoying watching the Canadian political stuff, and enjoying not having to have an opinion on it, too. Just seems vaguely "bad." And otherwise, I am sending vibes for people with sick family members and pets. Ahh, how nice. I guess this weekend we will get one more good vacuuming out of the borrowed cleaner, then give it back to Tina. Then we'll get a tree and decorate it. Maybe with a LOT of red and gold ribbon, since I have so much left over from the wedding. Gosh, maybe I can make something out of red and gold plates and paper napkins (having so many people who planned to come get sick or have traffic issues, means lots of leftover stuff--still, we can use it all). For some reason, I feel like making things. Stop me before I craft again!!

Have a good weekend, and I will be back to more regular posting as soon as things rev back up to normal speed!

Muted Happy Dance

Yes, oh yes, it was a good evening last night. I got teary a couple of times, and was incredibly proud of the people in a few states, like Virginia, Florida and North Carolina. I have to say it feels weird being on the "winning" side of anything. It just doesn't happen to me often. But, I do have hope. There is a LOT to be done to get our little world back on an even keel, but at least this country will have a calm, rational and intelligent leader for once. He can't fix everything, but at least a crazed hidden agenda will be less likely to hurt things. And I am no longer embarrassed at the leader my country has selected. That is like a weight lifted off me. I can hold my head up around my friends in other countries again!

I hope the people who are upset that they lost feel better soon and can see that we are wanting to listen to them, work with them, and be a whole society. We are tired of "us vs. them," which was so much the way their candidate phrased things. I was saddened when someone I know posted on their Facebook status: "[name] is depressed that Americans have voted against capitalism, democracy, life, and the Constitution." Oh my. How in the world can people actually, seriously hold those beliefs? What Americans voted against was people who want to tell you what you can believe, what religion you must have, how you must dress (Must have that flag pin!), and whose sole agenda is profit for multinational corporations with no regard for the country's citizens. Just my opinions, and Vicki said I have a right to express them in my own blog, LOL. (Note that I do think there are rational reasons one could be for the other party, and I respect those.)

But, my happy dance is muted thanks to ALE. I have been told they are trying very hard to keep me and the other contractors in this department. But, if they can't, I'll be out of work AGAIN the week before the wedding. GREAT timing, huh. But, I will work hard and hope for the best. Some day, things WILL go right in the job department! Everything else is just fine.

Word Fun

Just a quick note:

I read a blog called the Double Tongued Word Wrester, or its RSS feed, anyway. It finds new word coinages and talks about them (this is what people with advanced degrees in linguistics find interesting, you see). I like a word they recently found:

Catchword: malus

Filed Under: English, Germany, Money & Finance, New or Nonce

Part of Speech: n.

Quotation: A report by Frankfurt-based Center for Financial Studies has coined a new word—malus. Malus is Latin for “bad” while bonus means “good.” It says if executives can win bonuses for a superior performance, they also need to be exposed to penalties such as salary cuts for presiding over failures, which can have ramifications for financial stability.

Here's the link to the original.

I have been unhappy with how Big Businesses do business for many years. I am not thrilled that we regular folks get to help them out after they screwed up. I am really not happy with how many "maluses" have been passed out.

I do hope my house is no longer a pumpkin after I get home from the most festive Festival of Bands this evening, but of course, once more, I will not have been home in daylight to see it. Band season is almost over, though. I will try to not cry tonight. And I sure will miss the bus and all its drama.

Voting update: Williamson County is up to almost 15% of its population already voting, as of last Thursday. I hope lots voted Friday and Saturday!

A Wedding Shoe?

Wedding Shoe?
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Hey, look what I found at Penneys yesterday, when I was passing time before a hair appointment. It is a wedge-heel shoe (stellar photo does not show heel) with a suede-like top part, and a silk-like strap, avec rosette! They were having some giant sale, so it ended up costing like $23. I got it, on a hunch. When I got home, I hauled out the wedding dress, and sure enough the shoes are the EXACT color of the dress. Lee was amazed. My work colleague says it is a positive sign for the marriage. OK, sure. I had this plan to go shopping for fancy shoes at the Domain next week, and was prepared to spend into the double digits for something amazing. But, hey, this will work, and lets me spend more on flowers or something!

I am still going to go to the Domain (if you are not in Austin, it is this new, ritzy shopping center with nothing but the best stores, so nothing's cheap). Suzanne and I will have fun looking at "foundation garments" for my wedding outfit. And other stuff. It doesn't hurt to look. Still, glad I didn't get that job that is right next to the Domain. Too tempting, I guess.

It's been another busy week. Something every night, ranging from Senior Parent Night to Watching Scary Debate night. Again, my kids made me happy. Beccano kept coming up and telling me that Biden is his new hero. I must say, he sounded GREAT, and his closing words were so, so confidence inspiring and well done. I have spent so many years being deeply disappointed by politicians that it was GREAT to be reassured and inspired by one. And yes that woman with the irritating voice and even more irritating folksy ways did not mess up anywhere near as badly as she was expected to. Set the bar low and it is easy to win!

I don't report a lot about my job, but that is good. Everyone has been really nice to me, I am getting lots done, and I am enjoying the things I am doing. I feel like I am making a contribution. The coworkers are all very interesting people and enjoyable to talk to, as well. It would be great to get to stay here, but ALE is still cutting people right and left.

Oh, and here's a photo of the results of last night's hair appointment. I think I look like crap here. I let Robert use the flatiron on my hair to see what it would look like straight. Interesting, so say the least. I must look better today, because all my female coworkers keep screeching, "Ooh, wedding hair!" like I really should have it done this way for the Big Event. Hmm. I am not sure that the flat, flat hair would balance the big dress.We will have to see. It's the same color as last time, making this a remarkable second time ever I haven't changed the color slightly from one appointment to the next.

I'll write again after the weekend, I am sure. Lee is going to see his dad, but Jody is visiting from EuropeLand, so I hope to see her. Of course, most of the weekend will be taken up with Marching Band activities. The first contest is Saturday. And the percussion dude is having Bec and Company get there really early. If this results in Beccano getting overheated like last year for this same competition, when I had to drive him separately in the car, I will be much less than pleased. We'll see....

Weird Times

People Used to Be Much Shorter
Originally uploaded by sunasak

These are weird times. It feels like all the doors that used to be open and easy to get through are shrinking, like the one Tuba Boy is trying to go through in this picture. You can't just go out and get a good job, and if you do, it will go away to India. You can't safely save your money, because the banks mismanage it if you do. And if you have a job, you were probably forced to move from a pension to an IRA or 401K. This is, of course, all based on the stock market. Bye bye retirement.

I actually teared up listening to the news yesterday. We LET this bunch of goons get elected that have given all sorts of powers to big business. We sat and watched as things got worse and did not step in. We regular folks have just sat haplessly, watching OUR money get mismanaged and OUR country become a lame laughing stock.

I found it most telling that the reason that big bailout thing failed was that both the very conservative and the very liberal were totally against it, for different reasons that combined to make them work together. Interesting.

My personal feeling is that we have to be more parental with the doofuses in charge. If they screw up, they need to take the consequences. For too long we have made excuses for them, ignored what they are doing, pretended things will get better if we just wait it out, and bailed them out when they misbehaved. They have never had to deal with the consequences of their poor decision making and "me first" attitudes.

Too bad those consequences mean the rest of us suffer. I do think it is about time people in the US stood up and said, "I am mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more," though I think all the protests lately are making that point, a bit.

And if you are thinking of moving to Canada if the election goes the way you don't like, think again. They have some brilliant thinker up there who declared the average Canadian doesn't care about the arts, so he cut all sorts of arts funding. As thegenuinrely brilliant (as opposed to the sarcasm directed at the Canadian PM) Stephanie Pearl-McPhee points out, hmm, I wonder who makes that guy's pamphlets and who writes his speeches?

Good thing I have a perky wedding to plan. And Lee finally has work. But I can't ignore what's going on, and it is not good. I can't wait to see how the progressives get blamed for this one...'cause you know the wonderful and insightful conservatives had NOTHING to do with all this...heh.

Hilarious Political Fun

There isn't much fun or funny about politics these days, but my friend and frequent commenter NYJLM sent me a couple of essays today that made me laugh and laugh.

But the best was the link in one essay to the "Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator" Here are three from our family:

[Suna], if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Taupe Armageddon Palin

[ELAB], if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Missle Blunt Palin

[Beccano], if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Snooker Hinge Palin

Now, if you actually know me, you will realize I have NO room to criticize that woman's baby naming skills. My children have "weird" names. And they love them. But, it was still fun to see what the random name thing spit out. If you find out yours, leave it in the comments!

Sincerely,

Taupe Armageddon (Just call me TA)

PS: I wasn't going to do it, but I just HAVE to share this New Yorker essay because it had me crying with laughter. And remember, my dear conservative friends, we only pick on you because we love you. You know, like how you took "liberal" and made it a dirty word out of love for us.

Copilot

I have been having a sour feeling after this week's political convention. As my friend Ricky said in his usual eloquence: "He's experienced already, you don't have to say it 8,000 times like we're STUPID!" But, that's the party's tried and true recipe: find a talking point and repeat it until people actually DO get sick. I have hear God, country, and experience so many times that I could easily never hear them again.

So, I thought I'd write about something else. But what? My sinuses? Yep, they have been a mess. It only took a bit over a decade for Austin to get into my head, but it did. But I got some Zyrtec stuff and feel marginally better. Whew. Sinus issues feel WEIRD.

To get my mind off politics stuff that has me in a "tizzy," (did you know Jesus was not American and he did not tell us to go out and worship a flag? I think some people don't know that) and all that, I decided to write about whatever word my finger hit on in a book. So, this post is about "copilot."

Of course, I have no god to be my copilot. I have Lee to be mine, I guess. It's good to be part of a team, even if we are both vaguely grumpy team members for the past week or so. Just too much stressful job, people, and money issues. But, that won't last forever. It is good to have someone to work with in life, to help you pilot your ship towards wherever it is you are going. Some of my friends are really, really good at going it alone. I never have been. But I have had some less than ideal copilots, too.

Yay for Lee for being a kind, understanding and helpful copilot. I hope he will help drive me out of my "what's the world coming to" despair and towards some other focus. Like how to carve a good life out with few options and limited resources.

I will try to be more up-beat tomorrow. A long bus ride to Belton awaits...

Fall Is Coming

It's in the air--fall is coming. It hasn't been over a hundred degrees in a couple of weeks, and it's even rained a little bit. The sunflowers we planted in midsummer have started to bloom, to Beccano's delight. And school has started--the first football game is tonight, so get ready for more of my "exciting" high school marching band and football reports.

We had a delicious steak dinner last night (tender and perfectly cooked by Lee), and enjoyed hearing about the kids' classes and school adventures. Nothing made my heart swell more than hearing Tuba Boy wax enthusiastic about how great his English teacher is. I have such wonderful memories of my tanned, wrinkled, chain-smoking 12th grade English teacher, Mrs. Chisholm (or Miz Chiz as we called her). I am hoping Tuba Boy has an opportunity to learn, think and stretch with a supportive mentor like we did.

Everything else is good. My dad called last night, mainly to prepare me for the fact that he might not make it to our wedding. Sigh. Well, there will be someone there, I know, because my sister has already booked a hotel and rental car, and we haven't even sent out invitations yet.

I am going to talk to a guy about a job today, informally. I don't even know if I applied for it, but it sounds like a good match, and I am only looking into really good matches right now--I like where I am fine for now! I just wish it weren't for only 8 more months! Lee has a great interview next week, so my fingers are in perpetual crossed mode for that!

And in other fall events, I enjoyed the convention coverage this week. There sure were some moving speeches and little films. I got weepy a lot. I feel like I fit in as an American after listening to Obama, and I haven't felt that way in a long time. It is like there is a chance the country MIGHT turn into something we could all be proud of, and live comfortably in again. Like maybe I could get insurance, we could get jobs that were stable, and everyone could not be so reliant on foreign oil. It's been a long time since I felt that way. I liked the focus on the positive and the respect shown to the other candidate, even when criticizing him. I don't expect to see much of that next week, but it would be fine with me to be pleasantly surprised by the Republicans engaging in their own convention by focusing on their positives and being respectful in their criticism.

I guess I am allowed to talk about my political views. It is, after all, my blog, right? Bloggers are supposed to talk about their opinions. All views are welcome here, though.

American Fun/Job Seeking

I am enjoying watching election results for "Super Tuesday," but I sure think we have a weird system. Wouldn't it be fun for all Americans to get to vote and have it count, both in primaries and the general election? Wow, that would seem so...democratic. Like in democracy.

I'm thinking maybe if I can't get a job I will try to figure out something to do that will work toward turning the US back into a democracy. Good luck, me.

I am glad that at least the people running on one side are listening to what people's actual concerns are and will try to address them if elected. I know it won't be easy. Both major parties are really controlled by lobbyists for rich corporations, and that includes drug manufacturers and insurance companies--health care reform will be hard to achieve. And defense contractor lobbyists are also very rich--it will be hard to transition to a less war-mongering system. And on and on.

Job Crap

There isn't enough job news for a separate job seeker blog entry. I have applied to a few jobs in the past couple of days, one of which seemed pretty up my alley. I also wrote the HR director at a new local hospital and suggested I'd be good to administer their training programs. Why not. I got her email address from a knitting friend (thank you, if you read this blog in addition to my knitting one), so maybe it will do some good to just write the lady. I am very good at community education, with all my work with that Dysfunctional Nonprofit, so I might be someone they could use.

Then there are the dog sweaters. This dog rescue place in money-filled California is interested in having me knit up luxury dog sweaters. I guess, if it pays well enough, I could do some of that. I keep telling them that it will take a while to knit these things. So, we will see--they are sending me a sample of what they want, so I will be able to figure out if this is remotely feasible. Hey, it would be a knitting career, right? Not all bad!

Off to put on my mardi gras beads. I made jambalaya last night. I am an equal opportunity holiday celebrator!

Flower Power

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

Uh huh. Sure. Being a snapdragon means I am a mischievous friend who makes people laugh. That is better than some. I guess pansy wasn't an option.

Nothing new here. So far the highlight of the day has been putting my unemployment money in my checking account, so I think I can contain the excitement. I didn't sleep much, due to some stupid itching issue I get when the air in the house is really dry.

I'll go knit now. But I will leave you with a link to a really interesting article on religion and politics by Bill Moyers. It reminded me that the right wing aren't the only ones with Christian agendas in the US. You can't really be a viable candidate without one. Glad Tuba Boy left this open on my computer this morning.

Heart Sick

My heart is sick about what they did to Benazir Bhutto. I was not surprised--the surprise was that an intelligent woman was allowed to have any power or influence in a Muslim nation at all, ever. It took someone very special AND with the right connections.

But this is what makes peace advocates give up. It becomes completely apparent that whenever anyone or any movement becomes too successful and threatens to break the stranglehold of big business or extreme religion (the two factions I see at work here) they simply get eliminated. Usually some past indiscretion is brought up. That's the NICE way of dealing with it. If someone doesn't have any skeletons in the closet, they just get dead.

Doesn't leave you with much hope. Or incentive. I just keep clinging to my beliefs because they are ingrained. I sure don't see EVER living anywhere that supports them.

Yet another one of my infrequent political rants that generates a raging silence, I know. But where else do I get to say what I think?

This Explains a Lot (Political Rant Ahead)

This morning Lee pointed me to a comment on global warming made by Our President's Press Secretary.

“Look, this is an issue where I’m sure lots of people would love to ridicule me
when I say this, but it is true that many people die from cold-related deaths
every winter,” she said. “And there are studies that say that climate change in
certain areas of the world would help those individuals. There are also concerns
that it would increase tropical diseases and … I’m not an expert in that.”

No, it's not just that she was having a blond moment. She believes this crap. You do realize, don't you, that the people Our President hangs out with are among those who truly believe the earth is here for us to use up, and whatever happens is just fine and dandy because their deity is going to pop up real soon anyhow and transport them all away to Happy Land. (That is when the rest of us will get their fine, gas guzzling cars.) That's probably why Our President won't spend money to care for young children's health but implores us to help out the young people he has sent over to die in a foreign country to his cronies' oil money is protected. Heck, we're all gonna die shortly anyway--those kids won't get to grow up.

WHY aren't more people up in arms with alarm that people who think this way, make policy decisions based on these beliefs, and spend OUR tax money on an agenda based on this way of thinking. They keep telling us that fundamentalist Islamist extremists are nutsos. Um, well, sorry, but so are fundamentalist Christian extremists. (Note that I think moderate to liberal Muslims and Christians tend to be fine people and ought to be as concerned as I am about the radicals.)

And My Friend Bill thinks I am way too pessimistic for stockpiling headscarves for when we become the United States of Iranica. That's also why I have so much yarn. So I'll have something to do while I am stuck in my house the rest of my life. That's assuming I haven't died from radiation sickness. We aren't THAT far from all those bases in San Antonio and Killeen.

Gee, I had a choice of a meme about me me me or this, and I blogged about this. Hmm. I am taking things one day at a time, and trying to enjoy my crazed liberal lifestyle while I have it. And I AM voting, and I AM talking about things, trying to keep people aware.

I will post happy things about the kids and knitting later.

My Presidential Candidate. Who's Yours?

Jeff found this candidate picker website, which is on some military forum, so I have no idea how he found it. You answer some questions and it tells you which candidate(s) match most closely with you. Doesn't it figure I am just like the most fringe of the candidates? Sigh. By the time I get to vote on anything, I doubt Gravel or Kucinich will even be there any more. In any case, I figured I'd be close to Dennis, but I hadn't read much about Mike.

Former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel (D) - 91.30% match
Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich (D) - 82.61%
Illinois Senator Barack Obama (D) - 82.61%
Delaware Senator Joseph Biden (D) - 73.91%

I wouldn't base my voting on this little quiz (personally I am nowhere NEAR making any decisions), but it was well designed and hit all the big topics, I think. And of course, you don't have to say who your candidate is unless you feel like it. I know politics is such a sensitive topic! This is just for your personal edification (my large liberal vocabulary item of the day).

My new slogan: I'll grovel for Gravel!

---

I was just thinking some more about this. My first reaction on seeing who I paired up with was, "Gee, isn't that the weird guy?" Then I realized that my personal beliefs aren't necessarily the ones I want to see in a political candidate. Or the one I'd vote for. I think in a lot of cases I lean toward more moderate candidates, because I try to vote for who I think would be best for all the people (in the nation, state, city or whatever), and that is usually someone fairly moderate. Not someone who'd tax you out of your livelihood or send everybody off to a war. Anyway, I found that an interesting insight into me.

Reminder of How Life Works

Here is a picture of one of my favorite places, other than the new media room. The local yarn shop (LYS). And two wonderful friends there (K, I can blank out your head if you don't want it there).


Friends. I've been thinking about friendship and transitions a lot. My friends are really important to me, and one thing that an upset me a lot is thinking I have not been a good friend to someone. And I feel good when I know I have been a good friend. Like last night at the LYS, where K. over there and I both needed to just unload some stuff. We went to the back of the store and unloaded. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you and not judge you, even when you are talking about times when you are not at your best, things that confuse you, or your regrets. I am glad to have had such a friend show up right when she was needed! I've made such good friends at this place--the owner (the other woman in the picture) has done a great job building a community of varied but generally kind souls.

Being a Friend When It's Hard. Some of those souls at the LYS have been challenging, and here's where I wonder how good a friend I have been. This week we lost a former colleague at the shop, a woman who'd had a hard time in her life, and sometimes didn't do a good job coping. And who had some "interesting" habits that could get on your nerves (examples excised). We all listened to her as much as we could, and tried to help, but none of that was enough--she just couldn't cope with all the challenges and injustices in her life. Was I a good enough friend to her? I don't think so. I was impatient a lot, even when I had empathy. I felt like, hey, I had similar issues and I handled them, so should she. But really, everyone copes differently--what is manageable to one person may not be to another. What seemed an obvious choice to me did not to her. I just hope a few of the things I said to her helped, a little. And the things our other friends did and said, especially one who was so, so patient and kind to her when she didn't have to be--I hope they eased her pain a little bit, at least for a while. And I am sort of relieved her pain in this life is over. I don't know if I could have coped in her situation, either.

What makes me say "grr": I see so many women I know in pain, having so much trouble just surviving, just because they chose to stay home with their kids, then had no "skills" when their husbands moved on to younger, prettier, or just different women. I get so angry at society (not the guys, really, most don't set out to hurt anyone else) for penalizing women for wanting to raise their own children, for paying women less all around, and for stacking the deck against single people in general. I am fine--I had an education and marketable skills when my marriage dissolved, and it has all worked out fine--everyone's happier now. But, among my circle of friends, especially those in the organization where I used to work and volunteer, there are so many not that lucky. Some hang on in marriages that are miserable for all involved, others run to the next person they can find, quick, without taking the time to make sure it is the RIGHT person...some fall between the cracks. Sigh.

Fairness. Well, who said life is fair? No one. It isn't. It's why I could not watch the V for Vendetta movie Lee was watching last night (Beccno's favorite--what an odd boy). Too much death of innocent folks who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Too much power madness, which reminds me too much of those in charge in the country where I live. Too much death--a thing I am not uncomfortable with, thanks to my spiritual path, but that bothers me when one human does not value another's life equally to theirs. Too much unfairness. Most days I cope; some days I hit a wall and it seems like too much.

Balance. It's all about cycles. Things are good for me. They aren't for others. When I was a mess, some others were flying high. And most of the time there's both good and bad for all of us. It all balances out. There's birth as well as death, hope as well as despair. That's what our wonderful friends are here to remind us of. All those things. To help keep us grounded, centered, and balanced as the ups and downs of the world go on around us.

Happy Peace Day

It's the International Day of Peace, and with all my blathering (see my blathering comment that I added to yesterday's blathering, too), I figure I should acknowledge this event. My coworker and I had a minute of silence for peace (not at noon, but near noon), and I have tried to send positive peace thoughts out into the universe today, rather than negative anti-war thoughts. Hmm.

I also want to note how proud I am of some local musician friends for acting on their beliefs about peace. Steve Brooks and the Therapy Sisters come to mind. And all the folks who are doing the Instruments for Peace concerts and other events in town. I am proud of these folks for making their beliefs known and acting on them. It's wonderful to see my hero Slaid Cleaves and my friends Edge City listed among their participants. (PS--Slaid's own hero, Don Walser, died yesterday, so I send my thoughts to him.)

But again, because I am all for peace doesn't mean I hate people in the military. I pretty much don't "hate" anyone, though there are some folks I'd probably prefer to not hang out with.

No more from me today--I am supposed to be thinking, not proclaiming, today.

translation: the coworker mentioned above was Kathy.

Proud to Be a Usonian

It's probably obvious, if you are one of the three people who actually reads this blog, that I have been thinking a lot about my dissatisfaction with how the US is governed and what I am going to do about it. I have often been feeling ashamed to live in a country where the leaders are acting aggressively, treating others as if they are not human, well, acting like big ugly bullies. I wonder if I am alone, I wonder if our country is so divided that we share no common values any more, I wonder if there's any hope?

That leads us to today, when the boss read to us the preface to a book she is reading for an MBA class in leadership, Leadership, by Rudolph Guiliani. That's not a book I'd rush out and buy--he seemed to me like a basically good fellow, but perhaps not someone I'd have a lot in common with. But, the preface was really interesting, and from the description, I was surprised to learn how many of the leadership principles he has developed in his life matched the ones I have come up with, though of course we have had very different experiences.

But, the best part came at the very end, when he talks about what it is to be an American.

"We're like a religion, really. A secular religion. We believe in ideas and ideals. We're not one race, we're many; we're not one ethnic group, we're everyone; we don't speak one language, we're all of these people. We're tied together by our belief in political democracy, in religious freedom, in capitalism, a free economy where people make their own choices about the spending of their money. We're tied together because we respect human life, because we respect the rule of law.

"These are the ideas that make us Americans." p. xvii

I thought to myself, "Hey, those sound like ideas nearly all Americans would actually say they agreed with." Really, rich, poor, left, right, whatever--most Americans agree on these core beliefs. But. Who doesn't? Our current political leadership demonstrates practically every day that they do NOT respect human life (for all their braying about stem cell research and the evils of reproductive choice they sure like to send young people off to their deaths and to kill people in nations whose leaders don't toe the line politically). They have been lately brazenly demonstrating that they do not respect the rule of law, too. "Geneva convention? That's for OTHER countries to apply to OUR people, not for us to apply to them!"

Guiliani's assertions helped me pin down exactly what I am so upset about with our head honchos. And reminded me what is good about the country where I was born.

What else?

Not much else. Worrying about the partner's health, but glad he is making positive steps toward helping himself, at last. Surviving a lacrosse meeting with total civility. Playing Bejeweled 2 on the Big Screen of my home computer (ooh, should not have bought that--I'll turn as addicted to a game as one of the kids--those graphics are something else). Thinking a lot about friends, former friends, future friends.

Comments

deb said...
I just bought Bejeweled 2 as well. LOL the kids are addicted to it as well as I am.I agree with your other thoughts as well. I wonder daily would our world is coming too.Deb
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 10:18:00 PM

Suna said...
Thanks, Deb. I want to acknowledge the perspective of reader K, who pointed out to me that her parents both were in the military and she was raised in that culture--and she knows that I would not have wanted her mother to die in the Gulf War or anything. She is correct. I love and value all my friends who were or are in the military--I just don't like the concept much, and more to the point, I don't like what our leaders are doing with our armed forces. There are plenty of defense or public works projects that a well trained and in-shape bunch of ladies and gents could do, and they could be PROUD of those things. Anyway, without being forced to say the mandatory, "I support our troops" cliche, I do want to note that as human beings, I value people who choose militaty careers as the best option for their particular lives and situations.
Thursday, September 21, 2006 2:21:00 PM

knittingwoman said...
i think i'm glad that the online free verrsion of bejeweled 2 doesn't run on my mac. I like that game too:)
Friday, September 22, 2006 4:33:00 PM

Nancy Jo said...
I need to find Bejeweled for some other handheld device, so Patty can have one for herself. She is now attached to it, which leaves me leaving my Palm at home for her rather than keeping it with me so I have all my contacts with me. What is wrong with this picture? And why aren't I just retaining possession of my toy?Sigh. My middle child researched it and said we could get Bejeweled for her old GameBoy Color game (which she doesn't use any more), but I haven't been able to find it. Need to write to her and ask what to do now.Nancy Jo, more interested in the games than the liberal news today, and heading off to church instead of finishing reading everything. Really. I'm not kidding . . .
Sunday, September 24, 2006 9:44:00 AM

Oh yeah, and my work friend did some Korean medicine thing involving little pellets of metal on my finger and now my sinuses finally feel better. I think I will live. I was in awful pain yesterday.

Reading the News Is Educational

...and depressing sometimes. I think I am going too overboard on liberal news sites.

This is a quote from the last words in a wonderful yet sobering speech I just read by MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann, who is one of the new heroes of our sad time, which needs heroes so much:

When we are scolded, that if we merely question, we have “forgotten the lessons of 9/11"… look into this empty space behind me and the bi-partisanship upon which this administration also did not build, and tell me:
Who has left this hole in the ground?
We have not forgotten, Mr. President.
You have.
May this country forgive you.

This cartoon by Mr. Fish goes with the speech. Truly and really, how DARE the people who have bought/stolen the priviledge of running the USA tell those of us who live here that we don't remember 9/11 just because we haven't turned into raging murderous war mongers? Often there is more than one lesson to learn from an event.

Another hero for today is Colin Powell. Arianna Huffington says what I would like to say about his bravery for finally standing up to his former boss, the man who runs the country. How comme none of "us" Dems will start pitching fits? I don't want to live in the country that is the "bad guy" of the world. Thank you, General, and Sen. McCain. We need people who think and don't just react however their political party tells them to, whether liberal, conservative, Christian, or none of the above. I am glad these guys are there and either have enough power or bravery to speak up.

I heard this dude on NPR yesterday. A really frightening evangelical fellow who has some mission to be pals with Jews. Ah, Gershom Gorenberg is his name, and here is his story if you can stomach it. Anyway, he has that evangelicalically smug certainty that he knows exactly how the world we are in, exactly where we are on the countdown to the Rapture, and such that scares be "bejeezus" out of me. Of course, every once in a while he sorta sounds like he is telling the truth (all these wars getting worse and worse, etc.). But that's how they suck people in--some of the stuff they say is barely plausible. I just couldn't stop listening to his assertions as to why the Jews will be JUST fine thanks--as soon as Jesus actually shows up for the second time, they'll say, "OK, we see him now, and so we can believe in him," and magically they'll get saved! What a relief, I am sure, for our Jewish friends. AAAAAA......

On a happier note (yet a very low one)

Want to learn a lot about tubas? I really enjoyed this news item on Friday, and am glad it is all on the web. A 21-year-old woman is the principal tuba player in a major orchestra! The sound samples from the episode are amazing--hard to believe it is tuba music.

Remembering and Looking Forward

I was saddened to learn of the passing of Ann Richards, former governor of Texas, on Wednesday. Here’s a great article from Salon.com that gives the top ten reasons why we already miss her: http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2006/09/14/ann_richards/

Ann Richards always impressed me, even from a distance. She and some of the women that I worked with in local politics in Illinois were wonderful roll models of women willing to invest their time and energy in changing the system from within. We need more women in national politics, but the ones we really need are too smart to want to get involved in all those PACs, lobbyists, corporate donors and other corruptive influences that prevent you from doing what you actually set out to do when you get elected (represent the actual people in your area).

While dealing with the Tower in my tarot reading (Jody suggested it represented Ann Richards’ passing) and the card that represents feeling a bit trapped in a world that is too small…I have a lot of good stuff in my life.

Forward Looking (to the future)

I am so happy with my children. I left work yesterday and drove to the high school to get Older Son, so we could go shopping. For what? For a jacket to wear to debate tournaments, of which he has his first serious one today. Photo will be added when it will load.

We had SO much fun at Kohl’s looking in the men’s clothing department. I was impressed that he is developing a sense of style and fashion, at last. He picked a very nice navy blazer with festive gold buttons, and asked for suit pants to go with it, and who could turn down a boy who wants to look nice? (Plus everything was marked down, so I did not spend the fortune I could have). We wisecracked, joked, teased and had fun through the entire process. And he didn’t pout or sulk at having to try stuff on…sniff, my boy is growing up. The most fun part was when I said he could get a shirt, and started pointing out bright colors (figuring he’d want a white one). He went straight to a beautiful medium purple shirt and said, “My favorite color is purple.” Wow! Then he found a very nice purple tie with some navy in it that really tied the look together. He looks modern, but very “kempt.” He even suffered through his mother looking at a few things, hee hee, but did an exaggerated teen pout that was hilarious.

When we got home, he very seriously watched as I showed him all the things you need to do to dress clothing before wearing it (opening pockets, etc.), then tried on the outfit. He decided he looked like Fabio with the shirt open and tucked in (he looks SO cute in the dress pants, with that teeny little rear end and broad shoulders above it). I had to take a couple of “Fabio” pictures for him. It was sweet how serious he took getting his first suit—kept repeating how nice I was to get him such an expensive piece of clothing as the jacket. It should last a while, though, through a lot of weddings, funerals, dances and debate tournaments.

I am also enjoying the younger one, who likes to share his homework with me so we can both learn vocabulary and do math projects. His conversations are also great fun, and we have some interesting discussions when we watch plastic surgery shows and other oddities on the Discovery Health Channel. Such joy. He’s very interested in the challenges faced by little people (there’s a show about such a family) and other people with challenges. What I like is that he views them first as people, and second as people with physical challenges. That may be because he has known quite a few people with various issues at church, and can see that they are parents, students, employees and thoughtful people, as well as those with handicaps. It’s good that the kids are kind and interested in something other than World of Warcraft (interesting article on that in Newsweek this week: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14757769/site/newsweek/ ).

As for me, I am doing well—dealing with work issues as well as I can, though everyone says I take my work too seriously. Well, how on earth are you supposed to do a good job unless you do a good job? Yeah, Suna the overachiever. My work friends have been so nice. And I find that I will miss the techie dudes as they all spend 5 weeks in various foreign lands teaching our stuff, and the ever amusing Lee, who is on vacation next week (note, ALE employees seem to get a LOT of vacation—I miss vacations).

Music

After something of a drought, I have gotten a lot of good CDs in the past few weeks. Here are some I have really liked (the latest from each artiste):

Wailing Jennies – oh they sound wonderful, ladies singing harmony, mmm
Bob Dylan – this is his best since Blonde on Blonde as far as I am concerned, and his voice sounds really cool
Tom Petty – there are a couple of very amusing rhyming songs in this one
Linda Ronstadt – I can’t remember who she is singing with (sorry lady) but the lovely, spare Cajun style background to the simple folk tunes is music to my Linda-lovin’ ears
Slaid Cleaves – stop snickering John. I can’t help that I only got the Unsung CD last week. It’s a lot of fun and I like the arrangements

On another note “The Who” were on Dave Letterman last night. Sniff, it was just Roger and Pete. It’s more like “Who’s Left.” Pete played a beautiful acoustic guitar, so I am glad he didn’t smash it. And Roger had cute round glasses on, and looked MUCH better than he has in a while. The song…it was weird. I will be sure to get their next CD, because Pete is My Hero.

translation: Note that while I said I'd miss him, it was just because I thought he was amusing. Because he made me laugh and didn't treat me like I was stupid. I got through the endless vacation just fine. I did not call him. I did not send him email at home (anyone who read his email would note I NEVER sent an email to his home until we moved past the friend stage). I actually did not dwell on his absence. I did other stuff, talked to my other friends, and was fine. No relationship other than friendship at this point.