My Brilliant Friends

Today's thing that makes me happy must be my brilliant friends. One of the things I miss most about not working has to be my coworkers. They are so funny and so smart. I am always intellectually challenged and learning new things when I am there. One reads constantly and is always referring me to new books on topics like language, religion and such, while another is "not a reader" but practically has the Internet memorized and has amazing musical resources. Yet another has brilliant political insights, etc., etc. A fun bunch of folks, and I miss them! But, they keep in touch. One sent me this brilliant video from "CNNBC." (Even if you don't share our political viewpoint you can appreciate how well done it is!)



Is that not a hoot?

I also get so much from my friends at Live Oak UU, too. I love how many different perspectives come up in our Circle Supper dinners and such! Even with my hermit tendencies (I must have gotten them from Lee), I realize I need to be around other folks so I can learn from them. Of course friends are good for support, for companionship and for doing things with, but always remember that everyone around you has something they can teach you, so be open to the chances to learn!

Before I forget--I've got great friends from the kids' school, knitting and of course, online! I have learned so much from email lists and my online work in the past! Thanks to all of you for being around and for sharing so much of yourselves through such a seemingly impersonal medium.

But wait, there's more! In the past few weeks I have learned a great deal in, of all places, my Facebook status comments. Wow, there are some insightful people all over the world willing to contribute their perspectives on issues I bring up. I wish I could save them all and write them up in an inspirational book.

Here's an example. I said, in the kind of self-indulgent whine that I am so darned good at:

Sue Ann Kendall is trying to have a good day, honest. But everything I say is not coming out right, things are irritating me, and my back hurts from moving furniture around. I wish I could say what I think about matters that are important to me without upsetting people. Yes, yes, sometimes it is THEIR issue, not mine. My issue is losing friends by inadvertently offending people, which I am tired of. Sigh.

Responses included (names omitted, of course):

A: I am sorry. I wish people would just get over themselves and deal with it. If you say something that offends someone maybe it was something that needed to be said and it is something they don't want to face, so it is easier to get mad or hurt. I speak from my own personal experience. Now, I just deal with it. I hope things get better for you today. HUGS!!
B:  there are days like that. some days it's just better to turn of the phone, close the door, and hibernate a bit. Or spend the day prefacing every comment with "I'm having a weird day and not trying to be mean or rude..."
C: Can you really inadvertently lose true friends? I agree with the saying "those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind."
D:  I agree with what Person C said. Friends can disagree. If you can't disagree, they're not friends.
Sue Ann Kendall: Good point, guys. I think sometimes I view people as friends who are more like acquaintances I spend a lot of time with.
E: Excellent saying, Person C. I need to remember that.
F:  They couldn't have been very good friends in the first place....
G:  I love the prayer:"God spare me from the desire to be loved, approved of and appreciated." BK
Not easy to do, but so freeing.. I ask myself, how many things do I do each day for 'LAA' (love, approval and appreciation'??
H:  One of my great lessons was that I don't really need to convince anyone that I'm right. (I talk about this in communications skills now; isn't it great when we really don't feel invested in someone else's decision?) I'm now working on no longer needed to be liked by everybody. At that point, I will stop trying to please my acquaintances and focus on my friends. I have very few true friends. Those I have love me and seem to think I'm perfect. I'm not, but they are. :-)
I:  "Be who you are, say what you feel, those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess. Suna, you have a good heart and a good way of speaking. Don't take things too personally. Remember 2nd agreement of the 4 agreements: "DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY...Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."
J: I agree with just about everyone who's written a comment here. I really like it when people speak their mind -- it makes things interesting.
Sue Ann Kendall: This is another one of those status threads that has really enriched my life. People who don't like Facebook should read this supportive and helpful stuff and see how it brings people closer.
K:  I love the Suess quote! I'm going to keep that one! And I agree with the sentiments here Suna. Being another "too sensitive" type (misnomer...you can't be too sensitive...you're as sensitive as you are...some definitely more than others) I can relate. I like one of the lessons I learned from Starhawk (can't recall which book, Truth or Dare maybe?) that we all must speak our truth! Your particular voice cannot be heard in the world unless you have the courage to speak...and yeah, sometimes people don't like it, but sometimes too those things need to be said...especially if it is YOUR truth you are speaking. The only way that particular piece of truth can be heard is if you are the one to speak it.
L: True friends love you, anyway, anyhow. And I sure do. Sorry to be chiming in late and I think I missed some stuff-- doesn't matter-- I got your back.

Note how people who don't even know each other get support an insight from each other just by reading Facebook comments! And there is such a wide variety of perspectives. That is so helpful to me and I think to the others, too. I guess, no, I don't think Facebook is lame. I have had too many really interesting experiences and re-acquainted myself with too many people I care about to think it is lame!

By the way, I am going to turn on comment moderation on this blog, since I am getting some nasty comments on my other one (intriguingly enough, I believe it's one of those people I offended somehow without intending to, whom I should be ignoring according to the folks above, ha ha), and don't want to offend anyone here.

Life Snippets

A lot has been going on, so it's been hard to fit in time to write about it. This post is just chock full of little things I've been thinking about or have enjoyed.

My dad alerted me to this article in the Greensboro, NC newspaper, about his long-time neighbor, Hilda Fountain. She just turned 101 years old, and as you can see, still has a great sense of humor. I guess I'll have to take the photo off if I ever make this blog public, but for now, enjoy this photo from the article!


Hilda is really an inspiration. She is so "with-it" and has such energy, even after dealing with breast cancer at age 98. It would be so wonderful to still be able to contribute to society, grow plants and harvest vegetables, and have all my faculties when I reach her age.

I debated long and hard about whether to do this, but in the end, I let Beccano have his Christmas gift early, even though he was once again slacking off on school work. I just could not figure out how to hide this huge guitar anyway. It's a Fender Jaguar bass. with an apparently very cool red head stock. To make it even cooler, he let me get him red Converse All Stars to go with the bass.



The good news is that because the bass is going out of production, it was deeply discounted. Better news is that I could get it at Danny Ray's rather than the big guitar store in town! Always happy to support local folks' businesses. Wow, Beccano is a happy boy with this, and he seems fine about not getting a lot of Christmas gifts, since this pretty much ate up his share, plus a bit. Now he has all the guitars I am going to get him for a decade or so, at least.

We had a stressful, yet fun, week at work last week. The Big Boss came to visit, so we all had to be in the office, looking busy. Of course, I don't think he even popped his head into the room where all the regular people work, but we had it looking good anyway. I even brought cookies, and the Ninja Genius guy made pumpkin bread. In the spirit of Halloween, Tuba/Train Man decorated our collection of buffalo using the office supplies I had lying around. One buffalo is going as the Easter Bunny for Halloween, while another has buffalo wings. The third is a pirate (that is an earring and eye patch on the left buffalo).


Sometimes we get a bit giddy after a lot of technical crapola. I was describing how there had been a mistake on a document, and my attempt at fixing it had made it worse, when I came out with this gem of a statement, "Two wrongs make a very wrong wrong." Everyone insisted it HAD to go on my whiteboard with another couple of little gems, after which Ninja Genius just had to add his two cents.

We survived one of those "team building" outings with the Big Boss, which mainly for me involved not eating fried food and watching the guys play pool in a smoky bar. I did at least get to have a free beer. I did my best to be friendly and act smart, since they are still trying to get me a permanent position. I tried to appear valuable.

At least all this stuff has helped the time pass waiting for Lee to get finished with his endless work trip. He got sick over the weekend, and I know that must have been hard. I hate being sick all alone.

I got cheered up a bit, anyway, with more enjoyment of the high school band. Here's a bonus shot of them in the stands playing the school song, which none of us parents have any idea what the words are, other than "O Shenandoah."




A real highlight of the past week or so came Saturday night. I decided I didn't want to spend Saturday night alone (Beccano had a date to see a movie with his girlfriend and a few other people). So I called Tuba Boy at the college and asked what he was doing. He said it was R's birthday--this is the girl from another country in their group, and it is her first birthday away from home. He was willing to eat with me, but also wanted to share her birthday with her.

So, his entire group of friends decided to join me at the Mexican restaurant near our house, where we had a very fun meal. She got sung to by the staff and had to wear the giant sombrero. Plus she got her first fried ice cream. It was incredibly cute. She is just one of those people whose adorableness quotient is very high.

Then they all trooped over to my house (8 kids in total) for tarot readings. They are all very interested (I had talked to the girls about it a bit in their suite last time I saw them), but one girl especially seems like she may be a real tarot person some day. It was a LOT of fun, though that many readings is tiring! They played with our dogs, which pleased the dogs a lot (they miss Lee). The kids paid attention, as much as college kids can, and asked lots of good questions. What struck me is how very lucky Tuba Boy is to have been assigned such a great group of kids to live and work with. Only one kid who was there was not a member of their "Living Learning Community," and he was the boyfriend of one of the girls--fit right in, though. I really enjoyed being around such a pleasant, intelligent and open-minded bunch of young people. Whoever assigned the living arrangements is a genius. They are like peas in a pod. What fun to get to know them all better!

I'm still trying to carve out time to write more. I just get real tired lately. All that reading and staring at the computer screen, I guess. But I really do like my job, so keep your fingers crossed that it stays!