Where I Need to Go!

I saw this on someone's blog and gave it a try. This map shows in red all the US states you have visited. It is clear that I need a road trip to the Pacific Northwest.



create your own personalized map of the USA

My world map would be boring, so I didn't do it. Mexico, Canada, Ireland, England, Wales, Switzerland. The end.

Also, another blog pointed me to this fine article about Iceland being the best place to live. That may explain my fascination with Iceland, ever since I was pretty small (the Burnells, whom I blogged about as my early influences on one of my blogs not too long ago, were stationed there when they met, and loved it). I loved Ireland and Japan, but hearing about Iceland also intrigued me. You just don't read about it as much. Wonder if they need English technical writers there? MMM, hot springs. MMM, knitting. MMM, lovely winter darkness and summer light.

Yep, while I am stewing over the No Job for Suna situation you will get amusements from other people's blogs. Lee, no need for you to post your solid red map on your blog. (Lee's been everywhere, man, Lee's been everywhere.)

I'm So Wonder-ful

Oh poopy, I would rather have been Supergirl. I still am her in my heart.

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman 95%
Superman 85%
Supergirl 80%
Robin 75%
Spider-Man 70%
The Flash 70%
Green Lantern 65%
Batman 60%
Hulk 60%
Catwoman 45%
Iron Man 30%

You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Nothing much else to write about other than I was thrilled to discover that Beccano has stopped biting his nails. I was his age when I stopped (went directly to talons and never looked back). The guitar did it. He wants to be able to pick.

Anniversary

Yesterday a year ago, Lee told me he wanted to make a go of it as a couple, and that he was putting things in motion to make it so. He was very brave, and I really admired him for making a difficult decision. Neither of us regrets it.

My Poor Kids

A highlight of today is that I just about have my new laptop set up to where I can use it for most purposes. Lee was so sweet to get it for me. It is amazing what you can get nowadays for not too much money. This new computer is faster and has more features than the one I got for work a couple of years ago, but is less than half the price. And it's RED! Now I can type in the media room, though Poor Lee has done a lot of work to try to get the wireless connection better up here. We have a plan to get it all back up and pretty, though. Whoop!

Here's what I really wanted to talk about. Yesterday was a challenge to my poor boys. I know they are getting older and more competent at stuff, but they had to face a lot of things that would be no fun for a grownup. Sigh, I hate having to send them on planes to visit their dad, even though of course I want them to spend time together. Yesterday was a perfect example of why I worry so much about them traveling. They had lunch at an A&W place, then showed up at the airport in Raleigh-Durham with their dad. Tuba Boy then began to be violently ill--they think he got bad meat at the restaurant. Next, it turned out that their plane had a bird fly into its engine and needed a total engine rebuild. Yummy thing for the airline on a busy holiday travel day! So, their plane was delayed. Thankfully their dad was still there and could help them rebook on a new flight. I wonder how in the world they would have done it alone. I don't think Beccano really has the skills for it. They'd be at the mercy of airline personnel (most of whom are real nice, though).

So, they got significantly delayed and had to sit a long time, with Tuba Boy being so sick. And they had to go through O'Hare, which made for a lot more time on planes, too. Apparently Tuba Boy vomited his way across the USA. Poor boy, and poor Beccano trying to take care of him.

Tuba Boy looked just AWFUL when he got off the plane. He got home, barfed some more, and went to bed. He's still there. We decided to stay home with him and not go to church. I want to be here if he needs me.

My own day yesterday had many frustrations--trying to teach a difficult knitting task to someone with very little English, using my very little Spanish (I sound WAY better than I actually am). And I dread next week--I am going to try to get her started on the afghan she really wants to make. She's Peruvian and has only been here a year, taught herself to knit, quite painfully. But, it sure takes a lot of energy to help. At least I get to be helpful. I miss that aspect of my old job.

I also helped another lady figure out how to re-create an Aran poncho she had made many years ago. I figured out the whole thing! Go me! Now I keep thinking of how I could make a nicer version. It was in bulky yarn, and I do wish that I had enough of the very interesting bulky wool I recently bought to make a little poncho pattern up. It feels good to have some creative energy, since I have practically no other energy. Yow, this job thing has sapped my strength and confidence. I keep sort of breaking down at little things, like how unorganized the house is. I am glad Lee is patient. This is not my best time.

Send healing vibes Tuba Boy's way!!

Just a Frustrating Time

Festive Thanksgiving Meal
Originally uploaded by sunasak

I sneakily took this photo of the line at Furr's cafeteria in Victoria, Texas, where we ate yesterday. I am glad we had a family meal last week, because I ate rubber turkey and salt flavored gravy with salt flavored bread dressing. After standing in a line for 40 minutes. All the people who sadly filed in to eat because they had nowhere else to go were sort of depressing (doesn't help that I am already feeling down), but the staff were very perky, and Lee and his dad seemed really happy to be together and to like the food fine. I must be picky after all these years of eating homemade stuff on holidays (in grad school we had amazing gourmet meals cooked by friends, even).

I don't mean to whine too much. It really was good to see Lee's dad and I know it cheered him up to have family come see him. We had a great time watching the Dallas Cowboys, and I think Lee's dad liked having someone to talk to about the game. And it let Lee nap.

At least knitting got done. I have done a bit today, but got all distracted when Lee emptied out the office closet and found the last of the books I had not unpacked since we moved here, and found all the missing knitting books from my collection. There were some really valuable and interesting ones there. Yay! I blogged a lot about it on the knitting blog. But I really am pleased he undertook the closet clean-up, though it was a lot more work than he had anticipated. Definitely the bright spot in the day.

Today was supposed to be my work at home day, I fired up the work computer, logged on and got started...only to find that everything was in place EXCEPT the drive with the files I work on. It did not mount and I could not find it to manually mount it. So, there goes bunch of potential money. That did not help my mood either. I am going to hope that tomorrow is a better day. At least the kids will come home late tomorrow afternoon!

In a Fog, but Here Are Some Turkeys

I am sort of in a fog today, so in honor of the US Thanksgiving celebration tomorrow, I thought I would show you some beautiful turkeys. These are Blue Palm tom turkeys, one of the many heirloom turkey breeds that may not be with us much longer, thanks to the overwhelming reliance on one variety that has been bred to make giant turkey breasts. I am told these others are tastier. I don't know. I helped take care of some beautiful turkeys while Beccano went to the therapeutic farm, and I would hate to eat them--they were very nice to be around and had lovely big eggs. Some of these types have feathers used for hats and such. You can get those off the turkey without killing it, too. I have a collection of lovely reddish feathers still. Want to see more turkey breeds? Go to the site where I found this picture and scroll down--you will see a long list of breeds.

The turkeys help distract me from how much I hate putting the boys on a plane to go see their dad. No, I don't begrudge him the chance to see them--I just worry about travel at such a busy time. They kindly phoned me and let me know when they got to Dallas and when they got to North Carolina, though, which helped a lot. They told me that they passed the time in DFW Airport counting how many guys with handlebar mustaches they saw (6). That airport does have more than its fair share of genuine cowboys and men with festive facial hair. I do miss people spotting in airports, I have to say. I don't miss having to get up so early to catch planes. Wow, I am zonked today after getting up at 4! But, the traffic was excellent, and I hear now the interstate heading north is crawling.

But, since Lee's been around (creeping up on a year as a couple, folks!) I have gotten to enjoy more car travel. So, that is a nice trade-off. More of that tomorrow as we head south to Germanic Texas and eat at Furr's (cafeteria). It will be good to make Lee's dad happy, though. I am looking forward to some nice relaxing couple time with Lee, too. We spend so much time with the kids that we don't get too much of it, but I appreciate that Lee doesn't mind too much--I feel lucky to have kids who will spend time with us!

I will stop here, so you can have more time to hang with your own family and friends. I will have to tell my dad about the job situation today or tomorrow, and I dread that. I hate adding to his burdens. (And I hate disappointing him, which I seem to do over and over by not being as successful as he had hoped I would be--one of my big issues, I guess.)

Can't stop smiling at...

Both Boys
Originally uploaded by sunasak

...the kids. How did I luck out and get such beautiful children?

Everything else is OK, long as I know my family is around. They leave tomorrow for time with their dad, and I worry when they are flying during crowded holidays. So, I'll look at these pictures and think loving thoughts.

I was going to be spending Thanksgiving alone so Lee could go be with his dad, but Jeff's coming home tomorrow, which means he will visit the dogs on Thursday and I can go with Lee. I have no idea what we will eat, but we will be together!

I left my phone at home and had forgotten to reset my email so I could read it from work. I was so worried I'd miss a job opportunity. Yay, Lee got the phone and fixed the email! What a guy! And he is staying home so our new bargain zoomy red laptop can be delivered. Maybe that purchase will help fund me another contract at ALE. Yeah, sure.

Dizzy Weirdness

Last year I had a whole day I was extremely dizzy, so much so that Lee had to take me home from work. I thought it must be some love virus at the time. However, I have the same love interest I did last year, and I am feeling that way again. All light-headed and slightly nauseated. The previous event was November 17. It's November 19. Weird. Almost exactly a year between incidents.

I hope eating will help with this one, so I can drive home.

Musical Weekend

Round Rock Community Chorus Concert: Setting
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Hi everyone. I am feeling really down about the job prospects, since Lee lost out on the good job he was up for (he must have caught the "second place" germ from me), and none of my prospects contacted me at all last week. I did some useful networking at church yesterday, though--wow it takes a lot of energy to self promote. Actually, I am only saying this to explain why I might not sound as up-beat as I should, given the nice things in this post. My cruddy mood is not the focus here.

The real focus is on the lovely concert the Round Rock Community Choir gave on Saturday. I am using the picture that shows the context of the stage--it is a beautiful sanctuary, only a few years old at the First United Methodist Church in Round Rock, where the director is also choir director. (Turns out there are a lot of choir directors in this choir!) We all look sort of like Pilgrims in our black and white, which perhaps makes a pre-Thanksgiving Christmas concert more appropriate. There are a couple of more photos on Flickr.

We had a good rehearsal Saturday morning, and I was happy to see the kids' middle school band director was the percussionist. Then I went to the yarn shop for a short while--only one friend was there, so I talked to her a bit and left. Most of the afternoon I rested--both Lee and I were feeling sad and icky, so sleep was a good thing.

The concert went very well Saturday evening, at least from my viewpoint. Other than my shoes killing my feet (next time, flats, not even the most comfy heels) and my left bicep rebelling from holding up a notebook for 4 hours in one day (I use the right hand for page turns). I did not mess up much at all, and was very proud of myself. All the singers did beautifully, and I enjoyed talking to more of the people than I had before. I wish I wasn't so slow to warm up to people! The music was so lovely. I got teary during the big crescendo on the Rutter Gloria, and the director got all weepy at two of the other songs, they came out so well. Plus, the 12 Days of Christmas in twelve different types of music went off very well. It is very funny, if you are a music person (Ha ha, that one was Strauss! Hee hee, that Wagner one was a hoot!).

Unfortunately, Lee and the kids had so much trouble getting to the concert that I doubt they enjoyed it very much. Forgotten cameras, flat tires in Debate Boy's car, etc. I do appreciate the photos, though. Sometimes Tuba Boy's frenetic personal life makes things difficult. But it was sweet of him to bring friends to see the second half of the concert, anyway.

Sunday was as full of music as Saturday was. Church choir was somewhat challenging, as I felt like the only one who knew the parts. But, there was an interesting composer fellow who did the rest of the music at church and he was VERY interesting. One piece was a long bass violin solo he did, and it was really modern, yet listenable. He got some very high notes out of that thing. The other piece he wrote was for piano, oboe and voice, and he just directed it. Our choir director did the piano, and the two other musicians were great--and really nice. We enjoyed talking to all of them.

After church, we listened to Tuba Boy play tuba with some fun others (including Saranda's daughter) learning some Dixieland music. I keep being impressed at how well he sightreads and plays. It was fun for those of us watching to just listen to the music and relax a bit. Relaxing is good.

And I did do some this weekend--other than being very frustrated at lace knitting instructions at first, I made good progress on that, and enjoyed seeing what I could make out of very fine silk. Plus I cooked what passes for our family's Thanksgiving this year. Lee bought turkey breast and I made Stove Top stuffing (ugh) but it was good. And I did make cranberry sauce from scratch and delicious sweet potatoes. I tried steaming collards. Nope, back to the old-fashioned southern way next time!

It was nice to hear what the kids and Lee were thankful for. Especially when Tuba Boy said he was thankful for his stable family structure. I think he was really, really relieved that Lee helped him and his friends with the flat tire issue. It has to be so nice to know you have someone to rely on in emergencies who won't yell at you. I know I am relieved to have someone in my life who will help all of us and is so generous with his time and energy.

And because of that, I know we will get by. If nothing else, I am always thankful for my wonderful little family. Happy early Thanksgiving, US people! Happy new week, international friends.

Some Interesting Questions: Tag Yourself

Though I am all memed out, I came across this meme on Barb's very enjoyable blog, and all the questions really got me thinking, so following her lead, I tagged myself for it. You can, too! (Barb assures me she WOULD have tagged me, but she knew I am trying to not link this blog all over creation, and it would not fit the knitting blog. Barb lives in my metro area. Have I met her? Of course not.)

Anyway, if you find any or all of these interesting, you are welcome to post your own answers and let me know. I would really be interested!

1. What were you afraid of as a child?
As a tiny child, it was large construction tractors. My first nightmares were that they were coming down the street to get me and I could not move. This was before age 3, since I dreamed this in Sarasota. Later my big fear was roaches. Those giant black "palmetto bug" ones in Florida. I'd dream there was a sea of them under my bed. This dream had a basis in reality, since we sure did have a roach problem. The time I woke up to find one on me in bed traumatized me for years. The time I was awakened by scratching sounds, only to find roaches munching away on my Vacation Bible School rice mosaic was a rough one, too. Explains some of my issues with organized religion, too.

2. When have you been most courageous?
During childbirth, when I would not stop trying for a natural birth, no matter how many hours of back labor, demeaning interventions or pushing against a bone (see item 4) I went through, until finally I realized Beccano was not going out the correct exit. I did that all with no pain medication. With pitocin. I was very brave and strong.

3. What sound most disturbs you?
Easy: that horrid high-pitched "eeeeeee" that some small girls make constantly. Like the one who lives behind us and screeches as if she is about to expire, repeatedly, every time she plays outdoors.

4. What is the greatest amount of physical pain you’ve been in?
a. Childbirth with the second child. First there was 24 hours of back labor (I had a huge bruise from counter pressure). Then when I was pushing it felt like I was pushing a bone against a bone. Turns out I was. Beccano's giganto head was pushing against my deformed tailbone. Oh, if I had known about THAT before the VBAC decision. b. The time a not-very-well trained osteopath attempted to take a sample out of my cervix, then cauterized it. With no anesthesia. I could hardly drive the two blocks home. I was still a teen, in college. After I got home, all weepy, my dad drove over and read the doctor the riot act for hurting me so much. I think that is probably the moment at which I felt the proud of my dad, ever.

5. What’s your biggest fear for your children? (or children in general if you don’t have some of your own.)
That they will end up in a world dominated by religious extremists of some sort, and persecuted for their beliefs, or forced to conform in order to live. I fear more for their wives and daughters. None of the current extremist world domination candidates believe in anything close to equality for women. Or they have to live through famine and disease as a result of Western civilization's poor management of the only planet they have to live in.

6. What is the hardest physical challenge you’ve achieved?
The labor described in #2. Wow, I sound fixated on that experience. Really, I am not. I no longer think of it often (thankfully, a lot less now that I am out of the "new mother support" business), and I bear no grudge against the charming Beccano, whose inability to sleep through the night until he was almost three led to the second hardest physical challenge: parenting a baby and toddler through severe sleep deprivation.

7. Which do you prefer: Mountains or oceans/big water?
To be honest, living by a mountain (or hill) lake is my dream. I need the lake the most. I'm a Pisces and all.

8. What is the one thing you do for yourself that helps you keep everything together?
Hmmm, who can guess that one? OK, I'll tell you. Knitting! Surprise! I don't need to meditate as much any more because I can get into that state while knitting. And I do need that. I have to turn off that internal chatter and the bombardment of outside forces.

9. Ever had a close relative or friend with cancer?
Mom. Roberta. Etc.

10. What are the things your friends count on you for?
I will listen to them and not judge them. I will be loyal to them, perhaps to a fault. I will defend them if anyone puts them down or treats them unfairly.

11. What is the best part of being in a committed relationship?
Finding someone who truly understands you and loves you anyway. It seems like a miracle to me and I am always in awe of that.

12. What is the hardest part of being in a committed relationship?
Trust. So far every committed relationship I have been in has ended in a betrayal. The people I thought loved me most informed me that, no, that was a mistake--they never did--it was just the convenient thing to do, to be with me. And the way the story is so similar each time had me spooked (explaining why I got the roommate--not a committed relationship, no expectations beyond friendship). Both Lee and I believe we have changed out patterns this time. It's been almost a year since we agreed to try--and it is still good!

13. Summer or Winter? Why?
Winter. I am not made for heat or bright light. I even prefer Illinois winter to summers. I like fall best. This is a great time of year for me.

14. Have you ever been in a school-yard fight?
Why, yes, I have. In 8th grade, when I was still "the new kid" and did not fit in at all with any of the cliques. The girls who were nicest to me were the black girls (because I knew all their music), but apparently a couple didn't like her friends talking so much to pale ole Suna, and in PE class (bane of my existence--I had already gotten a concussion from a golf club there), the biggest one informed me she was going to beat me up. I said I didn't really want to do that. But, she came at me. While my father was a champion Golden Gloves amateur boxer, I had never really hit anyone in my life other than my little brother (hee hee). So, to get away from her I went to pull her hair, rather than hit her. Well, turns out her gigantic Afro was a wig. Off it came, revealing some not-very-well-styled nappiness, which made all the other black girls laugh their butts off. Then the rest of us did, too. End of fight. While most of those girls went to another high school, a couple remained friends until I graduated.

15. Why blog?
(I loved Barb's answer to this, by the way.) I have a couple of reasons. One, I am a writer and I like to write. I get really tired of technical documentation, and since I lost my job that let me email all day, I missed writing. So I started blogging. Another reason is I like to keep track of things. When did this happen? What was I thinking about at this time on another year? I kept a diary for years, just noting what I was doing on most days. I'm not overly concerned about the entertainment value of this blog, though I do try to put more useful stuff on the knitting blog.

I do like sharing stuff about my life with my friends, and reading their stuff, too--anecdotes, kid stories, important milestones. I like blogging as an exchange--a way to keep in touch with friends so you don't have to phone or email them each and say the same thing--probably blogging for me serves the purpose that personal letters did for my parents' and grandparents' generations. And a way to keep track of them. Of course, that would mean the friends would have to post to their blogs, too. Ahem. You know who you are. I truly love reading the words of people I care about, and responding to them. And I love my responses. Thank you to the commenters!

16. Did you learn about sex, and/or sex safety from your parents?
Not from the male parent. I think he preferred to think we fell out of the sky. He managed to pretend to not notice he had a gay child and stepchild until each were well in their 40s. But, my mother was quite cool. She did give me a book, but also talked about things--like mistakes she made when young and the consequences (one being my sister, ha ha, just kidding). Some stuff about sex safety perhaps I'd have preferred to not know--like how contraceptive failure resulted in ME. But, hey, it sure drove that "backup plan" concept home!

17. How do you plan to talk to your kids about sex and/or sex safety?
My children are 14 and 16, so that has already happened, and continues. We talk about things whenever concepts come up in life, or something happens on TV. They each got some good books to read, and did ask a few questions. And one of them took the Our Whole Lives sexuality curriculum the UU church provides. The other will eventually I guess. it sure is a GOOD curriculum. And there's an adult version, too, which I think is a great idea for most people who are not me (came at an unfortunate juncture in my life). I've had a number of really interesting conversations with my kids and their friends, too (mostly while they are confined to a moving vehicle). They seem really uninterested in contracting a disease or becoming a parent, and quite aware of how to avoid those things, without being all "saving myself for marriage" oriented. Whew.

18. What are you most thankful for this year?
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OK, your turn. If you are a prompt li'l blog reader, you will see that I post-dated this. I had so many blog-able things come up today! So I am going to file this one under tomorrow, when I know I will be very busy singing and resting from singing.

Local Good News/Bad News

I thought I'd share news from around Austin. I am both disheartened and heartened by it. Here is a link to a newspaper story about how Hyde Park Baptist Church in Austin rejected hosting an Interfaith Thanksgiving Service on property it owns. This had a couple of disappointing aspects to it. First, they'd originally agreed, so the planners had it set up, ready to go and all publicized. Then, when the church folks discovered the service was being led by local Muslim groups this year, they took away the permission, because no one but their faith can worship on their grounds (I guess it would confuse God or something). Of course they have every right to whatever exclusionary practices they wish to engage in, but it sure would have been nice of them to make that clear in the first place.

The good news, though, is that when the service (which is an annual local event with many different faith traditions participating) was about to be canceled for lack of venue, the largest Jewish synagogue, Congregation Beth Israel, offered space, and is including an area where the Muslim participants can do their evening prayers. As the local organizer said, "What a great testimony of inclusion." See, what's so hard about focusing on our common humanity and shared beliefs, rather than on our differences? Gosh, I hope pagans and agnostics are welcome, too--we all eat and like Thanksgiving, too!

It's another small step toward peace when acts of kindness like this get publicity. It reminds us that there are moderates and kind people in ALL cultures and of all religions. Not everyone, and not even a majority, are exclusionist extremists. I hope we can focus on the good part of this event, while always working toward more understanding and less bigotry and intolerance in the world. Little things like this give me glimmers of hope. I am grateful for that, as Thanksgiving approaches.