Grateful Monday

Anole
Originally uploaded by sunasak

The little anole depicted here shows why I am grateful today for my 15-year-old son, Beccano. He has been quite patient with me the last couple of days while I obsessed over the completion of my wedding shawl. First, he went with me to the fabric store to buy t-pins, and he happily looked at all the buttons, notions and fabrics. He even expressed a willingness to look at MORE fabric when I asked if he needed to leave. He wanted me to make him "disco pants" out of some awful sheer, shiny rainbow fabric, and swore he'd wear them to school, so I sorta scared him by sitting down and finding a simple pants pattern in the pattern book. He said, "I honestly didn't think you'd find one!" Plus, he sat there while I looked at ideas for wedding dresses. Quite the saint.

After that, he helped me block my shawl, which involves tediously threading thin wires through holes in the knitting, then carefully pinning the shawl to the correct shape (using those t-pins). With my shoulder pain, it was great to have some help on the awkward angles.

The task was made more pleasant by breaks taken to watch a cardinal sit on her nest, and hoping she'd fly off so we could see her two pale blue eggs. The cardinal family conveniently built their nest right outside our guest room window, so we have a "human's eye" view of the whole thing. The angle couldn't be better. Good ole Beccano is the one who found the nest. He is so good with nature. (I'd have a photo of that, but I am not good at taking pictures through window screens.)

The anole photo is because as soon as he woke up today, Beccano was asked to photograph me at many angles in the wedding shawl (photos on knitting blog). He was much more interested in capturing this guy. I was happy to see one of the wasps I have been fascinated by lately, so I got a bonus photo of it. These are BIG wasps, but very docile and calm. Beccano says he and his friend used to follow them, and discovered they live in holes in the ground. I can't believe how good he is with nature. I wish he could become a field biologist.

I did make the boy meatloaf for dinner last night, which was good. It's for dinner again tonight. Tuba Boy was with us last night at dinner, and he'd had WAY too much caffeine at work, so he was practically bouncing off the walls. I am happy to see him much calmer today! Perhaps last night's much-needed rain helped him settle a bit.

Me? I am waiting for the phone to ring. It did ring once, with another contract possibility. I applied for it, since I am not counting on anything until I have signed a contract. Thanks for reading, and happy Monday to all.

Musical Weekend

Round Rock Community Chorus Concert: Setting
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Hi everyone. I am feeling really down about the job prospects, since Lee lost out on the good job he was up for (he must have caught the "second place" germ from me), and none of my prospects contacted me at all last week. I did some useful networking at church yesterday, though--wow it takes a lot of energy to self promote. Actually, I am only saying this to explain why I might not sound as up-beat as I should, given the nice things in this post. My cruddy mood is not the focus here.

The real focus is on the lovely concert the Round Rock Community Choir gave on Saturday. I am using the picture that shows the context of the stage--it is a beautiful sanctuary, only a few years old at the First United Methodist Church in Round Rock, where the director is also choir director. (Turns out there are a lot of choir directors in this choir!) We all look sort of like Pilgrims in our black and white, which perhaps makes a pre-Thanksgiving Christmas concert more appropriate. There are a couple of more photos on Flickr.

We had a good rehearsal Saturday morning, and I was happy to see the kids' middle school band director was the percussionist. Then I went to the yarn shop for a short while--only one friend was there, so I talked to her a bit and left. Most of the afternoon I rested--both Lee and I were feeling sad and icky, so sleep was a good thing.

The concert went very well Saturday evening, at least from my viewpoint. Other than my shoes killing my feet (next time, flats, not even the most comfy heels) and my left bicep rebelling from holding up a notebook for 4 hours in one day (I use the right hand for page turns). I did not mess up much at all, and was very proud of myself. All the singers did beautifully, and I enjoyed talking to more of the people than I had before. I wish I wasn't so slow to warm up to people! The music was so lovely. I got teary during the big crescendo on the Rutter Gloria, and the director got all weepy at two of the other songs, they came out so well. Plus, the 12 Days of Christmas in twelve different types of music went off very well. It is very funny, if you are a music person (Ha ha, that one was Strauss! Hee hee, that Wagner one was a hoot!).

Unfortunately, Lee and the kids had so much trouble getting to the concert that I doubt they enjoyed it very much. Forgotten cameras, flat tires in Debate Boy's car, etc. I do appreciate the photos, though. Sometimes Tuba Boy's frenetic personal life makes things difficult. But it was sweet of him to bring friends to see the second half of the concert, anyway.

Sunday was as full of music as Saturday was. Church choir was somewhat challenging, as I felt like the only one who knew the parts. But, there was an interesting composer fellow who did the rest of the music at church and he was VERY interesting. One piece was a long bass violin solo he did, and it was really modern, yet listenable. He got some very high notes out of that thing. The other piece he wrote was for piano, oboe and voice, and he just directed it. Our choir director did the piano, and the two other musicians were great--and really nice. We enjoyed talking to all of them.

After church, we listened to Tuba Boy play tuba with some fun others (including Saranda's daughter) learning some Dixieland music. I keep being impressed at how well he sightreads and plays. It was fun for those of us watching to just listen to the music and relax a bit. Relaxing is good.

And I did do some this weekend--other than being very frustrated at lace knitting instructions at first, I made good progress on that, and enjoyed seeing what I could make out of very fine silk. Plus I cooked what passes for our family's Thanksgiving this year. Lee bought turkey breast and I made Stove Top stuffing (ugh) but it was good. And I did make cranberry sauce from scratch and delicious sweet potatoes. I tried steaming collards. Nope, back to the old-fashioned southern way next time!

It was nice to hear what the kids and Lee were thankful for. Especially when Tuba Boy said he was thankful for his stable family structure. I think he was really, really relieved that Lee helped him and his friends with the flat tire issue. It has to be so nice to know you have someone to rely on in emergencies who won't yell at you. I know I am relieved to have someone in my life who will help all of us and is so generous with his time and energy.

And because of that, I know we will get by. If nothing else, I am always thankful for my wonderful little family. Happy early Thanksgiving, US people! Happy new week, international friends.

Local Good News/Bad News

I thought I'd share news from around Austin. I am both disheartened and heartened by it. Here is a link to a newspaper story about how Hyde Park Baptist Church in Austin rejected hosting an Interfaith Thanksgiving Service on property it owns. This had a couple of disappointing aspects to it. First, they'd originally agreed, so the planners had it set up, ready to go and all publicized. Then, when the church folks discovered the service was being led by local Muslim groups this year, they took away the permission, because no one but their faith can worship on their grounds (I guess it would confuse God or something). Of course they have every right to whatever exclusionary practices they wish to engage in, but it sure would have been nice of them to make that clear in the first place.

The good news, though, is that when the service (which is an annual local event with many different faith traditions participating) was about to be canceled for lack of venue, the largest Jewish synagogue, Congregation Beth Israel, offered space, and is including an area where the Muslim participants can do their evening prayers. As the local organizer said, "What a great testimony of inclusion." See, what's so hard about focusing on our common humanity and shared beliefs, rather than on our differences? Gosh, I hope pagans and agnostics are welcome, too--we all eat and like Thanksgiving, too!

It's another small step toward peace when acts of kindness like this get publicity. It reminds us that there are moderates and kind people in ALL cultures and of all religions. Not everyone, and not even a majority, are exclusionist extremists. I hope we can focus on the good part of this event, while always working toward more understanding and less bigotry and intolerance in the world. Little things like this give me glimmers of hope. I am grateful for that, as Thanksgiving approaches.

Freakin' Long Weekend

Red-Haired Tuba Moms
Originally uploaded by sunasak

I am one tired Band and Singing mom. I did enough activities from Friday to Sunday for at least a week. But, I am not done yet!

Grateful

I am grateful for fellow parents who make all this volunteering bearable. These happy faces are my neighbors, Pam and Gina. Each of us has a tuba playing son and we each have colored our hair red. And we live within one block of each other. Spooky! We had a great time at our team's very losing effort against the Fighting Pflugers of Pflugerville. Did you know our team has the second longest District losing streak in history (Trombone Boy Wes told us that)? Wow! We're #2!

I am also grateful we are all healthy and safe. There was an accident this weekend involving a bus full of local high school kids this weekend and both our long bus rides were during the hours when the most intoxicated drivers are on the streets.

And last, I am grateful that Lee's job started today and it sounds good. Such a relief.

On to the Weekend

So, yeah, the football game was fun in a losing way. Lots of former band students showed up, and it was good to see them. But the game lasted long enough that it was hardly worth going to sleep before popping back up at 1:30 am to get ready for the trip.

Trip

Long ride to Arlington in very cramped and scuzzy tour bus. Not my idea of fun, but at least Beccano was with me and I got to watch him sleep, a thing mothers like to do. It really was a pretty good time, and the kids marched well. It was just a very LONG time.

There was much beauty to behold. The sky was blue and it was neither cold nor hot--that was a bonus! Some of the bands had really pretty uniforms or color guard attire. The band with the Spanish-style uniforms and Spanish-style flamenco dresses on the guard looked refreshingly different. And even though it was a PITA to stay unti the finals, we saw one or two performances that were so beautiful you forgot that you were watching high school students marching and became tranfixed by the music and sights.

There was a band from Flower Mound, Texas whose routine was all about flowers. Their sets were exquisite and their color guard very talented and creative. They had a giant lady bug who toddled out in the second movement and "danced" very charmingly with three students inside her, making 6 legs. This band only made ONE set of straight lines in the entire program--they made flowers, vines, leaves and other beautiful effects, all curved. How they all knew exactly where to go was beyond me. And when their "pods" were wheeled out and opened up to reveal stargazer lilies with trumpet players in them--wow! I hope they won (we didn't see the results).

In any case,while we were at first surprised to learn we didn't make the finals, we were no longer surprised after seeing the bands who did make it. Out of our league! But our band did its best and was nothing to be ashamed of!

Most of the day we spent watching most of the band sleep in a church gymnasium, while a bunch played Magic or ultimate frisbee. They also ate a lot of food. We brought a lot, too. The food people did such a good job. My friend Sharon and I went to a hallway to knit and crochet, and were joined by some others. We enjoyed watching the parade to the bathroom, especially the kid who wanted to know where the "dudes' room" was.

At one point, there was an African wedding in the church. We successfully kept the students out of the way of that, but also got to enjoy the incredible beauty of the traditional African fancy-dress clothing. Each family wore matching attire, and it was all stunning. Huge shining headdresses on the women, plus gorgeous fabric in their dresses. Men had equally flamboyant and beautiful fabric in their tunics, robes and pants. Some people wore western clothing, but it was also very lovely. it was especially fun to watch the ladies afterward carefully maneuvering the headdresses into cars. The bride and groom and the attendants wore western-style gowns and tuxes, but were all very lovely. What fun it was to watch a very happy group of people at a happy event. It made many of us wish we had a heritage that encouraged us to wear national dress or cultural attire on fancy occasions.

Transitioning to Sunday

We lucked out and had a nice quiet bus to go home on, and I slept enough that I wasn't totally dead when I had to wake up and go sing soprano with Saranda, who had also been at a band contest the previous day. We were not at our peak of high noti-ness. Plus she cried at the dang song. I was concentrating too hard on trying to make sounds come out of my mouth to get involved in the meaning of the lovely holocaust-inspired song.

Out of respect for you all, I hereby declare I will not go into detail on the sermon, other than to note that it was endless and no one over where I sat agreed with practically anything the dude said. That's UU for you, I guess. We were, however, happy that Lee's friend Rick came to the service and liked the church.

I wanted to enjoy knitting in the afternoon, but slept a lot and only knitted a bit. We took the boys to a nice Mexican dinner and thorougly enjoyed the conversation and camaraderie with them. What fine young men! Then, Lee and I went to practice with our singing friends, because Bill signed us up to do something after church next week. It was all very civil and pleasant, and we got to see what our other band-mate had done with his house. A lot of work!

And that brings us to today, which features Lee's first day at his new job, and me writing assessment questions in my current job, plus finding more things to add to the training. So productive! I just want to sleep. But no, gotta go sing for the community choir tonight. I am feeling like perhaps this is the busiest period of the year. Certainly it has led me to incoherant babbling.

Grateful for...

Skylight Says Hello
Originally uploaded by sunasak

I thought a while this morning about what I was grateful for, because it was a pretty rough weekend.

I am always grateful for my little bird, Skylight, who doesn't get her cage cleaned out enough, but truly seems to appreciate the things I give her to play with, and any conversation Lee and I give her. Seeing her handing upside down or attacking her piece of rope cheers me up a lot.

The other thing I am grateful for is the changing seasons. This time of year is very nice, because I get to see beautiful sunrises as I go to work. It will start to get dark, then lighten up again when Daylight Savings Time goes away, so a good part of the year I get to enjoy the subtle beauty of the sky in the morning and the big, red ball of the sun coming up. Last year it really made for a lovely time as I drove toward ALE!

I'm not feeling too well--yesterday both Lee and I didn't feel good--all my joints ached very badly, and I kept falling asleep. He did, too. I think Friday and Saturday, which were filled with riding buses and doing band parent things, when added to the work of the Saturday knitting class... they just did me in.

Worrying about the job thing also doesn't help. And worrying about the clogged sink in the bathroom, which I have to get a plumber in for, doesn't help. (This is when I wish Dad were nearby--he'd open the drain under the sink, get rid of the water, then run a snake down the pipes. We don't have anyone here who is able to do that, me included.) And, ugh, the gold paint we got for the living room and giant stair wall turned out to mustard-yellow-y and not gold. Wah. Waste of good paint!

On that note, I will go think about something else, and remember to remain grateful for all that is good in my life.

Trying for Gratitude

Pink Flower in Church Wildflower Garden
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Of course, today reminds me of a lot of things to be grateful for. Heck, I am ALIVE, so I get to enjoy the beauty of flowers in the church garden. And Hella, the gardner is alive, though dealing with breast cancer.

I am always grateful on September 11 that my friend Nancy Jo was there for me and got me out of O'Hare airport, despite her own anxieties and crowd issues. And she stayed with me as we watched horrible things on television in my stark, silent hotel room. Her steadfast friendship is something to be grateful for my whole life.

Today it's flooding again. I am grateful that my children were not in the school bus I saw in a ditch on the way to work. It looks like the kids who were in it all got out and onto another bus. Whew.

I am extra, extra, extra grateful for how different things are for me personally today than they were in September 2001. In just a couple of months, I would hit rock bottom in my life and get stuck there for quite some time. I'm human again now. With love, a family, and relative prosperity.

Yet I am deeply concerned at how things in the world in general have ended up.

Today's Quote:

I see all the different religious traditions as paths for the development of
inner peace, which is the true foundation of world peace. These ancient
traditions come to us as a gift from our common past. Will we continue to
cherish it as a gift and hand it over the the future generations as a legacy of
our shared desire for peace?

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Cheery Gratitude

Rose's Poses
Originally uploaded by sunasak

I wasn't feeling too grateful earlier in the week, but today I'd like to say that I am grateful for Rose the Dog. She will no longer be Rose the Puppy in a few days, since she is just about 1 year old. Here she is in her hilariously relaxed position, revealing all her nether parts to the world. Even her gums are relaxed. Nothing is bothering her!

I really am glad she is around, because her loving ways do cheer me up, and if it weren't for going to get her one fateful weekend, who knows when Lee would have gotten around to asking me to go steady (hee hee). She is so fun to watch running up and down the stairs, putting her head in funny positions to try to get petted, and playing with the other dogs. And she ended up such a nice size--not too big, not too small.

Other than the destruction she has caused among my prized wooden furniture and the couch, she's been great. She sits, lies down and comes when called. She goes into her crate upon request. She even let me bathe her after her little episode with doggie pooparama. And, I THINK she is chewing less. I hope so. We have finally caught her a few times and let her know in no uncertain terms that it is NOT the thing to do.

So, I am glad Rose is in my life. She is something Lee and I sort of share.

Other Stuff

I guess everything's OK. Had to chat with Tuba Boy about running around with friends and not letting me know where he is. He genuinely didn't seem to realize he should let me know, but was grateful that we cared--compared us to friends' parents, one set of whom he labeled "not very good parents" and the other "they don't get along." I think he is glad to have people who care about him.

I worry about Lee a lot. It is a really rough time for him. Having to see his lovely former spouse (who seems to believe I am after him for his money, snort--she told him not to give me anything for three months--where does this come from???). Having to close on his old house. Having to keep trudging along looking for work and waiting for interview calls. All has to be pretty stressful. And he keeps helping around the house with the endless band errands, cooking, painting and generally being supportive. That's a lot. Well, at least he knows he's appreciated, 'cause he is!

That Time of Year

It has to happen. School starts. I liked it when I was in school, but as a parent, ugh. The start of that period when I can't remember all the things I am supposed to remember or buy all the things I am supposed to buy.

This year it is bittersweet--both boys are in high school, in the box-like institution pictured here. It's nice to only have to go one place to drop them both off (though I enjoyed taking Beccano and chatting with him last year). But I feel sorta sad that my kids are getting this old, getting ready to fly the coup and all that--no matter how nicely I am letting them go, according to last week's postings.

At church on Sunday there were little groups of crying mothers scattered around--all of whom either just sent or are about to send children off to college. And some wonderful children whom I will miss, too. So many talented musicians, thespians, intellects and comedians that won't be around to enjoy except at holidays. As someone mentioned on an email list, that stuff just sends me into "pre-mourning." They are both so much fun, even when Tuba Boy gets a bit teenagerly and grumpy--for the most part he is still my wonder boy--just everything a mom could want. And his brother still talks to us and tells us what is going on in his life--how I treasure that.

I'm happy that they will be in the band together, and proud at how they are already handling scheduling mix-ups and such. We'll be here to help Beccano adjust--he's much stronger now and I think he can do it just fine. I just hope Lee and I can handle the band and debate schedules, plus all the other little things that come up!

Speaking of Lee--he has an interview tomorrow, so please think good thoughts. It would be so nice if he ended up with options and decisions to make about what fine new thing to do! And his house is sold, so that worry will go away in just a few short days. We might actually make it through this period slightly ahead, knock on wood.

Thinking about Friendship AGAIN

Oh, I should not think too much, especially on the topics that gnaw at me endlessly. Like friendship. On a blog I read, the author went on a bit about losing friends suddenly and not understanding why, writing a long passage I could have written myself with only slightly different circumstances. Ironically, this brought back wounds I thought were long buried about email friendships gone awry and a whole set of friends I lost MANY years ago due to that. And that then brought up the next series of losses a few years ago, and a more recent relationship loss another long-term friend just went through. I went into a spiral of self-analysis again. No wonder my tarot card for yesterday was the 10 of Swords--I stabbed my own self in the back doing that!

I did note the blog author getting into thinking a bit of what I used to think--that my defective personality just drives people away. And it wasn't true of me or her--sure neither of us is perfect (who is? I don't want to know them)--but many times these losses are also due to issues with the other person. Sometimes folks just don't know how to say they have an issue, there's something wrong, something's bugging them, until it festers and POW the relationship explodes.

I even read an article on female love-hate friendships on CNN yesterday, which ties in a bit with this. How you can both admire and feel jealous or competitive with a friend, and how that's difficult to deal with.

Where I was going with this is that I need to realize that with a bunch of old friends popping back into my life (Facebook's dredging them up from the woodwork, way back to high school), I need to keep at peace with past failings and friendships gone awry. All I can affect NOW is how I act today. So I'll keep working to be the New and Improved Suna, and try to not wallow so much. Hard to do, with my natural Piscean INFP wallowing tendencies! But I can try!

So, don't run away, readers. I still like you, even those who don't say hi. (I seem to have chased someone off when I mentioned that last week--many apologies!) Deep in my heart, I treasure you all--ones I've hurt, ones who hurt me, ones who love me, ones who barely know me. You all have something to teach me in one way or another. Thanks!

Grateful Monday

Oh yeah, I forgot to be grateful again yesterday. I was grateful for my voice, since I managed to hit all the notes, even a D above high C, in the new choir rehearsal last night (still having some trouble with it cutting out). I am also extra grateful that I can read music. It would be awfully challenging otherwise.

Making Joyful Noises, Gratitude Amid Stress

I am glad I went to the first rehearsal of the Round Rock Community Choir last night, even though I was having some big ole stress issues from Lee's job going away. Flashback to last year, sigh. Singing really helped take my mind off troubles, and made me feel better (just like the choir director said it would). The music was neither too easy nor too hard, and though it is incredibly Xtian, that's OK--it's for a Christmas concert. Now, the show tunes they want us to do for Sun City, ick. The director seems excellent, and I am looking forward to learning a lot from her. And my voice mostly worked all right. Only cut out a couple of times. I think it's getting better.

Last night, sitting with Lee and trying to comfort him, I realized that I felt a familiar way. I just looked up one of my favorite posts from just over a year ago, June 2006, when I had just been laid off. It is where I counted my anxiety symptoms. Ooh, they came back for a visit!

Rant On: Now, this post nearly got me fired as a knitting teacher because someone who didn't bother to talk to ME about it, called the LYS owner to say that they thought maybe I was too much of a mess to teach. I laugh about it now. That's one reason I de-linked this blog from the LYS site, my friends' blogs and such. Just so random do-gooders would have less success finding it. It's bad enough so many people who don't speak to me directly continue to read this all the time. It's worse when it's people I don't even know.

(Still not sure why someone would keep up with my daily ups and downs so obsessively but not ever tell me hello in person or at least leave a comment...but I guess we're all different, huh! So, hello to Sherwood, Jacksonville, Cedar Park and beyond!) Rant Off. I just need to make this point every couple of months, I guess.

Back to my main point--I can really see that job stress gets to me more than a lot of other stuff. Even Lee's. I am doing a lot better today, mainly because I have a lot more confidence in his marketability than mine. There's no 15-year gap filled only by a questional nonprofit organization gig to have to explain, for one thing. He's done some great stuff, and really deserves a better place to do more good work.

So, goodbye to my symptoms and hello to the positive outlook I eventually get to anyway. Doors closing means others open, and all those cliches.

Gratitude Tuesday (I was a bit stressed to say what I was grateful for yesterday):

I am grateful to you, my friends. Thanks to everyone who's emailed me and given suggestions and support to both me and Lee. They are both always welcome and very much apppreciated. Now I'll go sing something, at least in my head! It does one's spirit a world of good.

I am also so very grateful that Lee and I have each other now, so when the poop rains on our heads, we have someone holding a newspaper to deflect it.

Cowboy Suna, Gratitude

Cowboy Suna
Originally uploaded by sunasak.

Readers asked for a better photo of me in the red cowboy hat, so here's one, taken over the weekend when Lee and I made another trip to his dad's farm. Not the best light, but you get the idea. There are a couple of other photos on Flickr (click link below photo to go to the site) if you want to see very ripe corn, a big spider and some sunflowers.

Everything worked out great this weekend. XH stayed at our house with the kids, so Lee and I went to his dad's without having to worry about who'd feed the dogs or anything. And the kids didn't have to pack up and go to a hotel room. They had helped Lee set up the guest room so it would be usable (after wrestling the jelly-like guest mattress upstairs, they then had to bring up the very substantial bed). So, we had a nice space for XH to sleep. They could make dinner at home, too, which was convenient and fun for them. Seems like a good deal--he saves $ and we have dog-sitting. And he washed the bedding when he left, and had the kids fold up the clothes that were in the dryer. That worked out great! I hope we can do it again on weekends when Lee and I don't have to be in town for some reason.

Lee and I enjoyed our first long trip in the Limo Truck. It sure rides nicely. His dad was very impressed with it, too. Since my own dad told me he'd printed out the truck's photo, I say we did a good job in pleasing the parents with the purchase! Lee's thinking of getting the rear windows tinted "limo" dark, since we call it the limo anyway.

It was good to see how Lee's dad is recovering from his skin cancer removals (big ole incisions--I think he waited a bit long on them). We took him to Victoria and fed him a steak dinner at one of those noisy roadhouse places. The steak was so delicious that it made up for the noise. Lee's dad also loved the mushrooms he had with his. I liked that you could get a small 6-oz. sirloin. (Still gained a pound over the weekend, sigh.) Lee's dad had stomach pain on Sunday morning, which worried Lee, but it is something he has been getting for years and no one knows why. Hmm.

It was interesting to see Victoria. It is about the size of Chambanaland where I used to live. Not a lot of character for the biggest city in south Texas, but they told me it all got over-built by strip malls and car dealerships. Lots of those. And hospitals. Oh, and if you are interested to know where the heck Lee's dad lives, here is a link to the website of Yorktown. The history section is actually pretty interesting, and mentions Lee's ancestors who settle the area (that would be the German settlers).

We took a nice scenic trip home that was only marred by traffic when we approached Austin. Then had adventures in paint and accessory buying for the guest room redecoration. We choose a periwinkle and a pale grass green combo and found a quilt with exactly those colors in it. Unfortunately, the only matching curtains we could find had just ONE panel. It was a challenge getting the Linens-n-Things people to order us another pair, but we managed. That took so long that by the time we got back to Lowe's to get the paint, they were closed. Sigh.

So we came home and worked together to make an interesting dinner, and were happy with the kids. Kids make us happy. But neither of them liked the cheese grits I made. Darn. They did love our weird nachos, smoked salmon and watermelon dinner from Friday, though!

Lee is off work this week doing home improvements. I wish I could be there to help! By tomorrow the old fridge and beds will be gone, plus all the old mattresses (yay Limo Truck). We will have a nice guest room AND space to park the car and motorcycle in the garage again! Woo!

Gratitude

No, I didn't forget it was grateful Monday. I guess I can't say I am grateful for Lee and the kids every week, can I? However, they are mostly where my gratitude lies. So, I'm picking them ANYWAY. It is just so wonderful to come home to three men, all smiling and wanting to tell me about their days. All willing to help me out, and to build me up. How lucky I am.

Grateful Monday, Passages

The Grateful Part

What I am grateful for today is my flexibility and patience with myself. In the space of a couple of hours last night my plans for the week changed many times. And I coped and didn't yell. Got a bit frustrated, but did not yell. And I think both kids will make it to band camp and back successfully for at least the next two weeks, and one child MIGHT have a driver's license soon. Dealing with my kids' lack of foresight and planning really requires me to be flexible. But sometimes it takes me a while to figure out which option among many is the best. And people stare at me, wanting an instant decision. I am proud that I am patient with myself because I understand that I am not a snap decision maker, but rather someone who weighs options first. Jeff thought I was stupid because of this, but I know I am not. I just see many options and want to choose the one that's best for everyone, not just what is most convenient for ME. So, I am grateful that I have learned to be more patient with myself, and that I've always been pretty flexible.

The Passages

Well, both my kids are officially in high school now, as I sent a worried and frightened Beccano off to summer band this morning, where he and Tuba Boy will play and march and get ready for the football season. I am glad he got a ride with Derek's dad, because he will have been more together without me. Tuba Boy says he will watch out for him. He is a good brother.

Of course, part of my flexibility above had to do with Tuba Boy following my instructions and getting one more driving session in so he can get his license (another passage, somewhat overdue). However, he managed to book it for the middle of his first day of summer band. Now, Lee and I both work. But it's $25 if you don't show up for a session. On the other hand, if I took him I would lose way more than $25 (would have lost 4 hours). But, it might be worth it to get the driving stuff OVER with. Argh. Hard to weigh all those options. But, Lee saved the day by getting really, really sick last night, to where he could not make it in to work this morning. He is up to driving a boy to the driving school and back. And he has benefits (at least at the moment).

Lee's under a lot of stress. No wonder he got sick. I think it was too hot for him out doing the yardwork yesterday and that did him in. It is good news that he may have his house in Granger sold, and that we found a great candidate for a new vehicle for him on Saturday, but dealing with financial stuff is never fun for either of us.

So we looked at a bunch of trucks, and test drove one on Sunday. It was really nice of Tuba Boy to go with us, too. He could check out the back seats. I discovered I am too short to get in a Dodge truck without a sissy bar (or whatever they are called). Most places didn't have trucks as old as he was originally looking for, but then we found a used 2007 model that was really nice. And as a GMC, I could get in it. I have never been big on pick-up trucks, which are the national vehicle of Texas, but I can see we need one at this point in our lives. So, I am gamely participating in this. We drove the GMC one and I was surprised. I mean, I have been in pick-ups before and it felt like I was in a truck. Even Suburbans felt truck-like. This thing was deathly silent in the interior--really nice. And it rode very, very smoothly. I sat in the back seat and had all the room I could possibly want short of being in a limo. It will be fine for the kids! And when needed, this thing will seat 6! So. I must swallow my pride and admit this truck is pretty nice. Still, not great gas mileage, but we can use my car most of the time, and this one when we need to haul or (eventually) to tow. And it is still under warranty!

I guess it's another passage. I have turned into a Texan. Who am I? Where is Sophisto-Suna who scoffs at giant vehicles??? Sigh. At this point the durned thing IS practical.

Grateful Monday, Dude

It's Monday, so I must be grateful for something--how about my hands and my eyes? The hands let me knit so I get to touch lovely wool and needles as often as possible, and they let me type fast as lightning. And equally erratic. My eyes let me see beautiful colors, patterns and shapes. I am so glad I am not going blind, at least yet. I love colors and patterns so much. No wonder I knit so much.

Dude

My children, especially the older one, have taken to calling me "Dude Mom." As in, "Dude Mom, are we out of Hot Pockets?" They call all their friends just plain "dude." I find Dude Mom to be pretty funny. None of the teen friends have called me Dude SAK, Dude Suna or Dude Sue Ann yet.

Are teens all over using "dude" all the time, or just in Texas? It's definitely a thing all around my vicinity, anyway. Dude isn't a new word. Heck, we used it in the Ancient Times (70s). But suddenly it's the new "homey" (thank goodness). But it sure seems to be peaking in usage. It's nice and gender-neutral, which is another good thing. No problem being a Lady Dude nowadays.

Weekend

It was a good, pretty restful weekend with both sunshine and the usual Texas Summer Rain (usual for THIS summer only). I did a lot of singing in Sunday's church service, so there was also rehearsing on Saturday. Lee did an amazing job on bass this time. He played a lot of lead lines to accompany Bill's rhythm guitar, and it was really cool. So, even though it was mostly Grateful Dead, I had a good time. At least I didn't have to figure out what the melody was, since I just did backup/harmony. And we had a teen drummer. He did not call me Dude. (I added the photo later)

I also enjoyed teaching two sisters to knit. Their mom had vowed not to learn, because she loves reading so much, but we sucked her in and will be teaching her next time. BWA HA HA, I will turn everyone on earth into a knitter. I really enjoyed the girls and their conversation. They reminded me of girl versions of my kids (same ages, approximately, and they are opinionated UU kids like mine).

Grateful Monday

Today I am grateful for the beautiful pink rose with ivory edges that is sitting on my desk in a cola bottle, which has slowly opened during the day and really cheered me up. It reminds me I am grateful to Lee, who bought me roses yesterday. I love flowers, and love to smell roses.

Grateful Monday

I keep saying I will post more things I am grateful for, so maybe this time I will try to do it on Mondays!

OK, so today I am grateful that I have all my senses. I took a little walk into the woods outside work this afternoon, because the roaring of the "white noise" was driving me insane. I wanted to hear natural sounds.

Ahh, I heard so many. Crickets, bird wings, butterflies (if there are enough of them, you do hear them--Beccano and I discovered this yesterday in the garden at church!), cardinals, an angry wren, a happy warbler, flies, a very large buzzing insect, and (alas) mosquitoes.

And what I saw! 5 kinds of butterfiles, one really big, tattered moth, the cardinals, the angry wren and its companion (a very LARGE pair of wrens, bigger than the ones at my house, guessing these were Carolina Wrens, not Bewick's), a lot of moss and debris from the rain, and little bitty frogs. At first I saw what I thought were very small frogs, about the size of a live oak acorn, then I saw even smaller ones, the size of my pinky nail bed. The recent rain must have been very good for frogs, because I must have seen a dozen.

I felt all the slippery rocks, debris and moss, and unfortunately all the things that bit me. Oh well, that's the price you pay for solitude!

And it smelled GOOD. Very loamy and rich. Not the usual dry smells of summer. Lots of stuff rotting, but in the pleasant way (plants, not animals).

Taste was left out, but I came back in and had some delicious water, so all the senses got to enjoy something.

Grateful for my senses!