Let's Count Symptoms!

I am awake, unable to sleep. So I am counting my anxiety symptoms instead of sheep! This will be fun. Man, imagine what they'd be without the anti-anxiety stuff!

1. unable to get to sleep (never a problem before in my life)
2. eyes watering constantly
3. right eye has had a tic since early in the week when I got a "vibe" that something was afoot
4. occasionally, right side of mouth also twitches
5. lovely pimples, all over my face
6. digestive difficulties--even with stomach meds
7. chest pains--I hate those the most
8. shaking, leading to typing and knitting trouble
9. difficulty being around people (not good when the only paying work you have left is teaching--but, I am fine when I am with them, just totally wiped by the time I get home from the effort)
10. snapping at kids
11. memory lapses and lots of them
12. impatience when anyone else talks about THEIR problems, as if mine is the only one (ha ha ha, at least I know that's silly, and have listened enough to remember others have it just as bad as, or worse than me--I am rather ticked at myself for these feelings)
13. constant thoughts about vengeful things I would do if I wasn't a pacifist, a person with strong moral convictions and ethics, or nice, which I then mentally berate myself for.

Luckily, I am passing from the anger phase to the grief phase, and will soon be in resignation phase. No denial phase in this personal loss situation. And folks, realize a lot of this is just my grim humor, trying to rouse myself back into SuperSuna mode.

Good news dept: I have an in-person interview with my second job prospect, on Monday. Don't know if I mentioned that. And my kids are fine. And my partner has been really helpful and even applied for two jobs.