Creativity Crash

I'm usually a pretty creative person and ideas usually flow quickly when I am asked to write or say something. I have a topic I need to say some things about as a consultant, and for some reason, my usual stream of thoughts has dried to a trickle.

I'm wondering what's up with that. I know that some small sadnesses are making it hard for me to be as enthusiastic as normal:

I'm still agonizing about what to do about poor Gwynnie. Her front half still seems to fine and her back half so not.

I don't deal with suffering well, and when I saw a deer just after it was hit by a car, struggling to get up and looking panicked, it just about killed ME. Worse, I knew the people who hit it, and they were pretty upset, as well. At least I could confirm that someone did call the game warden. This was made more ironic by the fact that we had served venison chili at the Superbowl party we attended. But, I know that these deer didn't suffer. I am fine with eating meat from animals that were put on earth to serve as prey, especially ones who get sick and suffer when there are too many (e.g., those poor deer). I just don't like to see any living creature suffer.

I lost a lot of sleep Saturday night when Tuba Boy did not make it home until 3:30 am. It turned out his debate tournament went long and he was in San Antonio, so it was a long drive home. But, his phone battery was dead and his friend didn't answer either. I was so worried. (On the other hand, he and the friend came in second in the tournament and qualified for State! And he was very chagrined to find out he'd worried me so).

Tuba Boy's car broke down, and he was so scared when smoke poured into the passenger cabin. And I was not real helpful. I hope I made up for it by taking care of getting it towed to the repair place and being there to give rides when needed. At least that did not happen in San Antonio.

So many people are getting laid off. It's scary.

I've messed up a couple of times at work lately. That gets me all worried that this will go down as huge black marks, like last time, and I won't get a chance to stay here. Gee, whiz, Suna. Those were all little mistakes. Everyone has a few of those! I guess those wounds from last year are still overly fresh!

None of this is huge, just weighing on my mind and making it hard to let go and brainstorm. I am hoping that, by writing this down, I can let some of the things go. The car won't be too expensive, at least we hope.

It was just Imbolc, the season when you look for signs that days are getting longer and spring is coming. We have wildflowers coming up in the garden, and I could see to find my clothing in the bedroom this morning when I woke up. There are many positive signs out there--job opportunities (more for Lee, but a couple of little things have popped up for me), Tuba Boy did qualify for State, and Beccano's band sounds great (they are Triskelion in Austin on MySpace).

I'll try to relax and think about that business idea and get into my creative space. I can do it.