Happy, Happy Samhain

Happy Halloween
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Doesn't Lee look festive in his Breathe-Rite strip and witch hat? Trying to look like me with the hair thing, I guess. It's the anniversary of the Most Fun Day Ever, which was last year at Dell, when we had fun every moment of the entire day and won awards for our fine costumes. I am so glad to get to spend the rest of my Halloweens with the lovely creature in the photo.

I just read a beautiful tribute to Samhain on Mambocat's blog. She explains why she always spins on Halloween, but there is a lot more to it. It's really worth reading, if you have a chance.

Looking forward to a fun evening with lots of teens around, some tarot, I hope, and delicious food. I hope you are having a great day, whatever tradition you celebrate at this time of year!

Aww, Ain't it Purty?

Traditional Engagement Ring
Originally uploaded by sunasak

I thought you might want to see the ring I was blathering about yesterday, so here it is, in a rather blinding close-up. I am having way too much fun waving it in people's faces, though. I will stop that...tomorrow maybe.

I am asked a lot about what the wedding date is. I have no idea how we are going to determine that, but I have to have enough time to knit a shawl/jacket/shrug thing first. So the answer is: spring or fall. Just some time when the kids will be around and it is not hot!

Now, on to finding Tuba Boy a car, if there are funds for that after buying jewelry :-) which is oh so important, hee hee.

Love Puppies

Love Puppy
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Rose was very affectionate all weekend, and kept putting her head in our laps or her paws up on the couch so she could impress upon us how much she would like to be petted, now, please. She's so soft it's hard to resist, too. It's a good thing she has such a sweet disposition. It makes up for having to clean up whatever she dragged into the living room to chew on every day.

Scrunchy was also feeling extra cuddly yesterday, which was fine until he begain exhibiting the symptoms his new food has been causing. Wow, puts a lot of truth into the phrase "little stinker."

Lee and I were love puppies this weekend, too. Neither of us was feeling up to being around people, so we spent Sunday mostly with ourselves and Beccano. (Tuba Boy did come home, but stayed with Debate Boy or in seclusion for most of the day.)

We did go out for lunch and a wee bit of shopping Sunday. We got Beccano the new Guitar Hero and a Ninja book (by a "qualified" author, he informed us). Lee and I also got things that reflected our interests (knitting, Stephen Colbert and woodworking).

Then we dropped by the scenic Jared Galleria of Jewelery place (not somewhere I'd ever think of going) and ended up getting a nice wedding set for me. I was touched at how not bored both Lee and Beccano were at the whole thing. We had fun looking at occlusions in diamonds and gasping at how much a real diamond the size of my CZ would cost. And it was fun to pick a setting (as usual, I ended up with the first one I picked, but we went through many in between). We got a pretty darned good .84 carat princess cut stone that will be mounted in a "kite" setting (more like a diamond shape) in good old yellow gold, which I prefer (not trendy: timeless). I am somewhat aghast that anyone would ever spend that much money on me, but touched at how much Lee wants to physically demonstrate that he is not going to abandon me (if he did, he would have to take my expensive finger with him!). What a love puppy he is, and how lucky I am to have finally be with someone so kind and generous.

So I am rather excited to go pick up my jewels this afternoon. I will have to wave my hand at everyone I see at choir rehearsal, like a giddy young girl. This is all good. No wonder I drew "Wheel of Fortune" over the weekend--I really WAS lucky! Am lucky. I live with three fine men, one of whom is sticking with me, no matter what.

Sniff, It's True

It's true, they grow up. I know that. I know that at some point in the teen years children become more attached to peers than their families. This is normal.

But I sure miss being a priority for Tuba Boy. I want him to have a nice normal life, and he has great friends of whom I pretty much approve. But it hurts to see him separating. Totally my abandonment issue rearing its ugly head, and I know it.

Just acknowledging my feelings. I am really glad he is happy and well adjusted and doing well in school. I was so touched that he got a homecoming mum from a girl, and that he made one for two of his friends, too. That is all so normal and sweet.

But every time Beccano comes in and tells us a story, shares his day at school, or just sits down to hang out with us, I am grateful that I still have a kid who wants to do stuff with us. At least I know what to enjoy, while it lasts.

No doubt the next phase in life will be great, just sometimes transitions can be hard.

A Thing I Do

Photo courtesy of photohome.com

This afternoon I noticed myself doing this thing, and realized I had done it yesterday as well. I began thinking about it and it occurred to me that, well, this is what I always do.

I was taking a little "wake up" walk around work, and as usual looked out the big windows to see the pretty views of woods and hills around the building. As I often do, I saw a large black vulture looking at me from the windowsill. I said (aloud), "Hey, Big Vulture!" and kept walking. The next window featured two hefty crows looking in at me. I also said (aloud), "Hi there, Big Crows." Yes, I greet birds.

It's not just birds. On my way out to the car yesterday, a rather large lizard of some sort scampered under a planter as I approached. I said, as I recall, "Whoa! Hi there Lizard!" I realize that if no one is around, I will give a hearty greeting to a large spider, a moth, or any small bird. Oh yes, and I asked a waddling black beetle where it was going one day this week--it looked so purposeful.

I guess it is my week to speak to black creatures. Samhain's coming and all that. I think I have always spoken to animals, given them warnings, told them they are lookin' good or whatever. Oh well, I guess that's harmless.

The black vultures are such interesting birds! They love to spread their wings out in the sun, as in the photo, and they appear very curious and friendly. They are always hanging out on the sills and walls near the elevators at work. I like their looks better than the more common turkey vultures, I guess because their heads match their feathers and they look less naked. Of course, the caracara ones down where Lee's dad lives are the prettiest vultures I have seen. Face it, I just like birds. Off to have a good weekend. You have one, too.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: Name a great website you would recommend to others.
The Loopy Ewe, my favorite yarn supplier, and a wonderful family business. The owner posts great recipes on her blog, too. Another site I like is the Perpetual Kid. They sell really amusing items that are just for fun--real good stuff for your desk at work.

Soup: On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how often do you dream at night?
10. I dream a lot. I think I live an entire second life while I am asleep. I love the insights I get from dreams.

Salad: Did you have a pet as a child? If so, what kind and what was its name?
I had lots of pets (including Squirrelly the Squirrel and Gerbie the Gerbil--great namer I was). But the stand-outs were my two dogs: Maggie was a black spaniel mix who had to be the most even-tempered animal ever. I had her from when I was a small girl through most of high school. She lived to be 18, and we got her when she was around 8. We dressed her up, made her ride all the rides in the playground, slept on her, and she just sat there smiling. Pumpkin came after Maggie. She was a Jewish dachshund mix (her ethnicity was acquired from her first owners, and explains her New York accent). Pump was the smartest and most fun pet in the whole world. She was like having a sister who talked funny. I swear we conversed often. She even saved my mom's life, like Lassie--fetched my dad after Mom fell and broke her hip. My brother, boyfriend and I enjoyed "making her talk" in her little accent, and we also REALLY enjoyed making farting noises behind her, which made her think she'd really done it. "Hey, I didn't feel that!" I still miss her.

Main Course: If you had the chance to star in a commercial, what would you choose to advertise?
Jody's yarn!! Of course, first she'd have to dye up a lot of it, then there would have to be a storefront, then there would have to be a budget. But yeah, I'd sit there knitting and say, "I'm just KRAZY 'bout this colorful sock yarn!"

Dessert: What is your favorite kind of hard candy?
CARAMEL APPLE POPS. Buy me some.

This Explains a Lot (Political Rant Ahead)

This morning Lee pointed me to a comment on global warming made by Our President's Press Secretary.

“Look, this is an issue where I’m sure lots of people would love to ridicule me
when I say this, but it is true that many people die from cold-related deaths
every winter,” she said. “And there are studies that say that climate change in
certain areas of the world would help those individuals. There are also concerns
that it would increase tropical diseases and … I’m not an expert in that.”

No, it's not just that she was having a blond moment. She believes this crap. You do realize, don't you, that the people Our President hangs out with are among those who truly believe the earth is here for us to use up, and whatever happens is just fine and dandy because their deity is going to pop up real soon anyhow and transport them all away to Happy Land. (That is when the rest of us will get their fine, gas guzzling cars.) That's probably why Our President won't spend money to care for young children's health but implores us to help out the young people he has sent over to die in a foreign country to his cronies' oil money is protected. Heck, we're all gonna die shortly anyway--those kids won't get to grow up.

WHY aren't more people up in arms with alarm that people who think this way, make policy decisions based on these beliefs, and spend OUR tax money on an agenda based on this way of thinking. They keep telling us that fundamentalist Islamist extremists are nutsos. Um, well, sorry, but so are fundamentalist Christian extremists. (Note that I think moderate to liberal Muslims and Christians tend to be fine people and ought to be as concerned as I am about the radicals.)

And My Friend Bill thinks I am way too pessimistic for stockpiling headscarves for when we become the United States of Iranica. That's also why I have so much yarn. So I'll have something to do while I am stuck in my house the rest of my life. That's assuming I haven't died from radiation sickness. We aren't THAT far from all those bases in San Antonio and Killeen.

Gee, I had a choice of a meme about me me me or this, and I blogged about this. Hmm. I am taking things one day at a time, and trying to enjoy my crazed liberal lifestyle while I have it. And I AM voting, and I AM talking about things, trying to keep people aware.

I will post happy things about the kids and knitting later.

The Sun Sets on a Long Band Show Season

The Sun Sets on a Long Band Show Season
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Other than three nice, easy football games, the intense band parenting season has wound down. There's a pep rally the kids have to do tomorrow, but no need to chaperone, so we just have to make sure someone gets them there and back. Ahhh.

Last night was an example of working hard while being the kind of parents we want to be. Once again Festival of Bands rolled around, but it was cold. Colder than we thought, and very windy. We were the only band whose parent chaperones sat with them on the visitors' side, so we could barely hear the middle schools and saw the backs of all the high school shows. And we were COLD. Lee and I even skipped the Longhorn Marching Band to go warm up in the bus (no hanky panky occurred! we are good bus stewards!). Still, I know the kids appreciated it, and not just ours. Lee gave a poor sniffly drummer a napkin, and he looked so grateful. Other parents loaned out their blankets. Little comments and big smiles made it clear the kids are glad we are there.

On the way home in the car, Tuba Boy was talking about his two best friends and their parental relationships. He said he didn't understand why one friend didn't just talk to his parents and tell them simple things, like he does. He said the friend told him, "Well, you have reasonable parents, I don't." Tuba Boy made it clear how happy he is to have "reasonable parents." We talked about how our rules don't have to be set in stone as long as he keeps us updated on what he's doing, etc., and he says that's what he tells his friend--let your parents know what's going on and they might not punish you so much. You know, it's hard to say who is more grateful--me to have such reasonable children or them to have reasonable parents.

Both boys agreed that it was much easier on them that none of us are "nutty" like one friend's parents are, to the extent that she tries at all costs to avoid one parent. They seem so glad all their parents and partners act respectful with each other and are vaguely sane. I know what they mean--I was so glad my parents were people I could trust to care about me, but not to overwhelm me with rules and regulations. They did it just right--if I went too far, they'd come down on me, but if I showed them I respected their guidelines, they'd respect me back.

Conversations like this, which only lasted ten minutes or so, really help me. I can think of them when Tuba Boy forgets yet another vital item* or makes it way too clear he'd rather be with the friends than us, or when Beccano bends the truth about school stuff. They are so good hearted, underneath it all.

*Tuba Boy cracked us up before last night's performance: he saw Lee, ran up to him and urgently implored, "Lee, give me your socks!" Apparently, in addition to forgetting his black shoes and shorts to wear under his band outfit, he also forgot socks. Luckily, Lee had worn black socks. So, there they were, in the middle of the band hall, exchanging socks. Good thing Lee's a good sport about this stuff.

Hard Work Pays Off

UIL: Sousaphone Action
Originally uploaded by sunasak

And I mean hard work for both the kids AND the parents. Saturday was the big UIL contest (I forget what UIL stands for, but it is the entity that judges high school students in the arts at various contests). Our young ones practiced like crazy and did their best performance yet of their show. They got a rating of "1", which is the highest you can get. All the bands of our size in our District got 1s, which is nice--getting a 2 is sad for all concerned (and we got a 2 a couple of years ago). Here you see all ten sousaphones marching in tight formation (there is one hiding). We had a very fun day, and it was nice to have Lee chaperoning. He took some good pictures, too.

We sat in the hidden seats way at the front of the Palace, which are near ground level. I had not seen or heard the show from that level before--and the sound was GREAT. You could see the kids' faces, too. Or you could see them when you weren't all teared up with pride, which I was much of the time. Seeing that concentration on all their young faces was so touching. What I did not know at the time was that the kids could see us. At least three of the marchers told me later that they had seen me as they marched, and two actually said it gave them confidence. That felt SO good.

It's amazing the kids did as well as they did, since it was a very confusing day--the band director FORGOT to order buses, so the buses that brought Westwood over had to floor it over to our school, get us, drop us off, take Westwood back to their school, comb back, and get us! We thanked the drivers profusely for volunteering to do that.

Friday, of course, was another band fun day. Yet another football game, the one where we are visitors in our own stadium (we played Westwood, the ones whose buses we borrowed, and where we knew lots of kids). It was a battle of two not-so-great teams, so sort of fun in a "who can be less competent" way. At one point our QB had a 1-1 completion to interception ratio. But, we got better, and our star Aaron "AJ" did some spectacular stuff, so our team won. It was nice to win again. We tuba moms were danding and being goofy.

Knitting on Saturday went OK, though NONE of the students showed up. That is not horrible, because it gave me a chance to help out some others, including a really nice lady who had forgotten what she was doing on her first scarf, so I got her back on track. That felt good, and we think she may return for Chicks with Sticks, too. I truly enjoy helping people with knitting--it makes up for a lot of stuff that makes me feel less than competent and unpopular lately.

Sunday was a challenge, but I enjoyed singing a couple of songs with Trey Bone, my quartet, for a pledge drive event. We really got a lof of applause, and I think I did a good job on the singing. Lee's bass adds so much to the songs, too. And both the other guys did GREAT on their parts--not as nerved out as they sometimes get. So, I was proud of us all. And the sopranos did OK on the Faure Requiem piece, which I think is my swan song as a sop. Back to the low notes.

Tina and Jared came by the church, sorta unannounced, but luckily there was someone there who could book them wedding space. Trying to find an officiant may be harder, but that is being worked on. They seem pretty inseparable. Wedding is 12/29 for them. They have really made a lot of plans. I feel like such a wedding slacker.

It was a long afternoon/evening of doing what Tuba Boy wanted, but I think he is happy to be making homecoming mum thingies for the two girls in his life. He and his best friend really worked hard on it. (I don't get a mum, not enough mum money for a Mom mum).

I was happy to finish a sweater and block it and the previous sweater yesterday--so nice to finish things. But when I went to start the next project, UGH! The yarn was badly skeined! I spent at least three hours trying to wind it into a ball, and got what I hope is more than halfway through. It sure tore up my leg and back muscles. The yarn is lovely silk/wool/alpaca stuff for a scarf for Flo. Yep, back to holiday gifts. Lee was very patient with me while I got in a pity party mood and was frustrated by the yarn. He and Beccano never fail to cheer me up.

It's cool today, so the Festival of the Bands may be sorta brisk. But at least that is our LAST band thing other than the remaining games! And tomorrow maybe I can wear a new knitted item!

Building Up with Words

Blogging leads you down interesting roads sometimes. I am glad I read all the blogs I do, because sometimes I hit on something very helpful. Lately one of my online friends from the past has posted some really helpful stuff about her life that has helped me. Today she responded beautifully to an idea from yet another person's blog, and it was very inspiring!

The idea is to publicly lift your partner up with words, because sometimes it is so easy to zing them, especially if you are an especially verbal person (who, me?). This is an issue I have worked hard on, and I know my sarcasm and passive aggressive barbs have gone way, way down from the way they were in the past (assisted greatly by four years of witnessing the effects of someone who has great difficulty checking his instincts to put others down). But, once a zinger-inflicter, always one. And that is never good, especially when one has a partner who is especially sensitive to such things, like I do. I am sure he could use a public tribute!

So, here is my contribution:

Lee, we have been through a particularly trying few weeks, and neither of us has been at our peak of perfection. I am not sure if I have been good about pointing out all the things that you have been doing that I appreciate and admire, and that maybe I have focused too much on little irritations, due to my, err, irritability. But I do notice that you take care of so many things around the house--laundry, groceries, dinners, dog feeding the dishwasher. Without fail or complaint. I notice how hard you work to make things good in our environment! And I notice how hard you work to be there for the children, too--they notice as well.

Hey, if something doesn't come out perfectly, it is always very obvious from your caring and kind words and demeanor that you had the best of intentions--you never purposely set out to irritate or upset any of us. You want the very best for me and want to protect me and keep me happy. This is such a wonderful gift, and I really appreciate it. Your desire to be a real part of our family is very obvious, and it makes me feel so much more secure and at home than I have felt in decades. You could make a lot of gaffes and still not come close to balancing out the wonderful fact that you truly want to be my partner and aren't going to go away. Sharing your love and kindness has been so healing for me, and given me hope for a happy future with someone to share life with. Thank you for all of this. Know that you have my love and admiration, and it won't stop. You are not a good guy; you are a GREAT guy--the best choice possible for me. I am so glad we found each other!

Isn't it nice that reading other people's blogs can inspire you to be good to others? I enjoyed reading what other women said about their husbands, boyfriends and fiances, as well as what at least one husband said in return. We need more kind words in this world, so I am happy to contribute mine.