Suna, She Gots Issues

Just Some Pansies
Originally uploaded by sunasak

(The reader needing cheery perky stuff may wish to skip this, because below I try to figure out why I had a hard time coping with things that weren’t all THAT bad, really.)

Stress-a-Rama

This weekend we got up extra bright and early and went to a workshop to fill out Tuba Boy’s financial aid forms, without having filled out our tax forms because Lee does them via a guy in south Texas and does not do them early like I always have. Trying to guess all the numbers was an interesting experience. But at least we got the form filled out by the deadline for his first school.

The yarn shop was also more challenging than usual, which led straight into going home at 5 pm and finding out house guests were on the way. Turns out Lee’s family just gets in the car and shows up, unlike mine, who tell you months in advance if they are visiting. It’s just one of those different ways of doing things that frequently occur, but I was sorta ill prepared for this, since Lee’s step-son from the previous marriage had said he was coming a half dozen times before and not made it. I hadn’t even met him until he showed up after our wedding ceremony. I’d gotten ready the previous times when nothing happened, so I got lax and forgot which weekend it even was. (I thought last weekend was Valentine’s weekend, not Son of Lee birthday weekend.) And I had no idea they’d be spending the night (he brought the very well dressed fiancée too), so I had not made sure there were clean sheets and towels, plus there was an immense television on the guest bed. Son of Lee moved it. Now it’s on the old entertainment center that also needs to go somewhere other than the dining room (it seems to be the staging area for extra stuff and I can’t keep it the way I’d like it to be). Back to topic, it was good to meet another person from Lee’s family, of course, and I realize having the room ready, food available for visitors’ breakfasts, and the rooms made livable is not as important to others as it is to me (it’s a woman thing or something like that). As it was, they arrived at 10 pm, talked for two hours, went to sleep, went to church with us and left. I hope it was worth the drive from Houston! At least it was an interesting enough church service, and Lee seemed quite ecstatic about the time together, so it probably was worth it!

Stress Continues

Things didn’t really improve for me after church, though I had a nice time talking to Tuba Boy while waiting for a rehearsal for a church service band. I couldn’t even manage to sing “When the Saints Go Marching In,” a song I certainly know HOW to sing. They, accidentally written words on the wrong parts of the sheet music, so I kept trying to sing the chorus as the band played the verse. I am sure the choir director, who was just hanging out, thought I was nuts because I was having so much trouble on a simple song. At least she realized it when she looked at the music. And poor Tuba Boy had no tuba, so tried to play bass instead. He still has not learned the notes on guitar. That is amusing, since he is so good at reading music on the tuba. So, that was unpleasant and stressful.

Stress Tightens Its Grip

Sunday afternoon we decided to do something fun and different, which was go spend our wedding gift certificate to Ten Thousand Villages, one of those stores that sells fair trade doo-dads from around the world. I was counting my knitting and realized Lee had missed the only useful exit for getting to South Congress, which got us off on the wrong foot. Then it became difficult to find a parking space. And then on the way out, I didn’t look up in time to see that Lee was going straight into a road that was really a very crowded parking lot. It ceased to be fun, though it continued to be different. Suddenly we were in the car with someone we thought had moved out two years ago! Since one of the hardest parts about living with Jeff was when he (invariably) got angry in traffic, poor Beccano and I probably had post traumatic stress kick in, so we tried to just be quiet. We all did live through the journey and even had an OK time at Things Celtic, where I got Beccano a silver necklace that reminded him of his band’s name. I had not intended to get myself anything, but a similar necklace with a moonstone in it, which the owner of the shop had bought in Glastonbury made me feel a lot calmer, so I got it.

Love in the Air

That’s enough of me being grumpy about my weekend. The good news is both boys now have girlfriends. That’s a new one! I’ve always liked Scrabble Queen, the one who’s been hanging around with Tuba Boy a lot recently, and it is weird to see them dating only because they met in first grade. And wow, she is an amazing Scrabble player (we’ve been playing on Facebook, which is loads of fun). I don’t really know Parker’s Friend, who is the object of Beccano’s affection, but she seems just fine and cute, and Parker can vouch for her. The three of them spent Saturday together and it sounds like they, at least, had a great time. I must say having BOTH boys with girlfriends makes me feel old, but I am glad Becanno has started communicating with the opposite sex more.

Uh-Oh, More Self Analysis

I do know why it was so hard for me to get through the weekend, though. For the past week or two I have been even more sensitive to the mental states of other people around me than usual. That’s quite unfortunate timing, since I’ve been running into double and triple whammies of very strong, very scattered states of being. Nearly everyone I spent a lot of time with for the past few days has been overwhelming to me. I put on my bear necklace and it helped some. Even if it’s just psychologically helpful, that’s fine with me! It is no wonder I had more trouble than usual coping with various things—at times I felt like I was in a completely unfamiliar world, where the people around me understood what was going on and I was coming from some other culture and was just clueless as to how things work in the new world. (That’s how I felt when I had that unfortunately inappropriate job last year.) At least in the end I was kind, a good hostess, patient and more patient.

Spring Is Also in the Air!

But, all is not lost. At least time is marching on in a good way, and signs of spring are popping up all over the area. In fact, I looked up at the redbud tree Saturday morning and was really surprised to see some early pinkness. Woo! All the really early plants are saying hello, so I’ve enjoyed the “tulip trees,” some flowering pears, a shrub with very pink blossoms whose name I can never remember, and of course, my pansies. They are leftover from the wedding, but they are looking a lot better now that the really cold snap is over, and when I sit on the new porch, I am delighted by their fragrance. The yellow ones really smell good.

Everybody has a rough weekend occasionally, so I’m not too worried.

Thinking of Others

I haven't really felt much like writing--trying to figure out what to do about my "career" is not great reading material, and it is taking so much energy to appear perky at work that I don't have a lot to spare. But I do know things are worse for others.

Please, if you have any spare energy, send it in the direction of our former housemate Jeff and his family. His mother is still in and out of the hospital, and that's been going on for months (not to mention her pneumonia earlier in the year). He says she has been rather out of it, and it concerned. But it got worse yesterday, when neighbors found her sweet husband, Tom, passed away in bed. They hadn't been married very long at all, and really didn't get a lot of time to enjoy each other with all their various medical setbacks. At least they got in a couple of nice trips. He sounded like such a kind person, and I had hoped to get to know him more. He was taking such good care of her--I know he didn't want to leave her. Now Jeff's family has to figure out who's going to help with Rose, what to do about her...gosh, they will be so overwhelmed. She will be a mess--this is her second time as a widow, plus her very nice boyfriend before Tom also died. My heart is hurting for their whole family.

Lots of deaths and funerals among my local friends, too, which has me thinking a lot about it. Not in a bad way--I am not worried about my own, just more concerned about how people have to deal with all the unforeseen consequences, on top of losing someone they care about in this life.

Thinking of how transitory our experience here really is always reminds me to enjoy my loved ones as much as possible. That's probably why I just can't expend a lot of energy being irritated at the kids or Lee over little things. The love I feel for them is so much more important and over-arching. I just want to be there for them, be a positive part of their life, be my best as much as possible, and show them the unconditional love they deserve. (Doesn't mean not being there to guide the children when they go astray, just not harping.)

Love Puppies

Love Puppy
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Rose was very affectionate all weekend, and kept putting her head in our laps or her paws up on the couch so she could impress upon us how much she would like to be petted, now, please. She's so soft it's hard to resist, too. It's a good thing she has such a sweet disposition. It makes up for having to clean up whatever she dragged into the living room to chew on every day.

Scrunchy was also feeling extra cuddly yesterday, which was fine until he begain exhibiting the symptoms his new food has been causing. Wow, puts a lot of truth into the phrase "little stinker."

Lee and I were love puppies this weekend, too. Neither of us was feeling up to being around people, so we spent Sunday mostly with ourselves and Beccano. (Tuba Boy did come home, but stayed with Debate Boy or in seclusion for most of the day.)

We did go out for lunch and a wee bit of shopping Sunday. We got Beccano the new Guitar Hero and a Ninja book (by a "qualified" author, he informed us). Lee and I also got things that reflected our interests (knitting, Stephen Colbert and woodworking).

Then we dropped by the scenic Jared Galleria of Jewelery place (not somewhere I'd ever think of going) and ended up getting a nice wedding set for me. I was touched at how not bored both Lee and Beccano were at the whole thing. We had fun looking at occlusions in diamonds and gasping at how much a real diamond the size of my CZ would cost. And it was fun to pick a setting (as usual, I ended up with the first one I picked, but we went through many in between). We got a pretty darned good .84 carat princess cut stone that will be mounted in a "kite" setting (more like a diamond shape) in good old yellow gold, which I prefer (not trendy: timeless). I am somewhat aghast that anyone would ever spend that much money on me, but touched at how much Lee wants to physically demonstrate that he is not going to abandon me (if he did, he would have to take my expensive finger with him!). What a love puppy he is, and how lucky I am to have finally be with someone so kind and generous.

So I am rather excited to go pick up my jewels this afternoon. I will have to wave my hand at everyone I see at choir rehearsal, like a giddy young girl. This is all good. No wonder I drew "Wheel of Fortune" over the weekend--I really WAS lucky! Am lucky. I live with three fine men, one of whom is sticking with me, no matter what.

Building Up with Words

Blogging leads you down interesting roads sometimes. I am glad I read all the blogs I do, because sometimes I hit on something very helpful. Lately one of my online friends from the past has posted some really helpful stuff about her life that has helped me. Today she responded beautifully to an idea from yet another person's blog, and it was very inspiring!

The idea is to publicly lift your partner up with words, because sometimes it is so easy to zing them, especially if you are an especially verbal person (who, me?). This is an issue I have worked hard on, and I know my sarcasm and passive aggressive barbs have gone way, way down from the way they were in the past (assisted greatly by four years of witnessing the effects of someone who has great difficulty checking his instincts to put others down). But, once a zinger-inflicter, always one. And that is never good, especially when one has a partner who is especially sensitive to such things, like I do. I am sure he could use a public tribute!

So, here is my contribution:

Lee, we have been through a particularly trying few weeks, and neither of us has been at our peak of perfection. I am not sure if I have been good about pointing out all the things that you have been doing that I appreciate and admire, and that maybe I have focused too much on little irritations, due to my, err, irritability. But I do notice that you take care of so many things around the house--laundry, groceries, dinners, dog feeding the dishwasher. Without fail or complaint. I notice how hard you work to make things good in our environment! And I notice how hard you work to be there for the children, too--they notice as well.

Hey, if something doesn't come out perfectly, it is always very obvious from your caring and kind words and demeanor that you had the best of intentions--you never purposely set out to irritate or upset any of us. You want the very best for me and want to protect me and keep me happy. This is such a wonderful gift, and I really appreciate it. Your desire to be a real part of our family is very obvious, and it makes me feel so much more secure and at home than I have felt in decades. You could make a lot of gaffes and still not come close to balancing out the wonderful fact that you truly want to be my partner and aren't going to go away. Sharing your love and kindness has been so healing for me, and given me hope for a happy future with someone to share life with. Thank you for all of this. Know that you have my love and admiration, and it won't stop. You are not a good guy; you are a GREAT guy--the best choice possible for me. I am so glad we found each other!

Isn't it nice that reading other people's blogs can inspire you to be good to others? I enjoyed reading what other women said about their husbands, boyfriends and fiances, as well as what at least one husband said in return. We need more kind words in this world, so I am happy to contribute mine.

What Keeps Us Going

Polaroid of Boy
Originally uploaded by sunasak.

What keeps us going and slogging through each day, no matter what stress or strife comes up?

Love is one thing. Love for my kids is basically what got me through 2000-2006. And love for my expanded family has things even better!

Learning is another. When the world stinks, you can't do anything about it, or you are chafing at "the way things are" like Tuba Boy is these days, you can always come back to learning. That's a big part of why I am still here. There are still things to be learned in this life!

Then there's laughter. Humor truly helps when things are scary, stressful, difficult or tedious. Thank goodness it's everywhere in my house. From dogs and their antics to Lee and the kids, there's always something funny!

Beccano has been developing a keen sense of humor, as I've mentioned. He does a lot of puns, makes up jokes, and is also adept at physical humor. An example is this picture. He was playing with his hair (needs hair cut, yes I know, Father of Beccano) and wanted to be a unicorn. So he piled on the gel, but it didn't quite work. It did make these lovely curls however. So once again, the boy mugs for the camera. We have quite a collection of his facial contortions--I'm going to have to make a collage of "The Many Moods of Beccano."

I hope this gives you some Friday fun!

Rose Becomes a Woman, What's Up

I haven't posted much this week, mainly because it hasn't been a ravingly exciting week. I have been pampering myself, taking it easy, and knitting a lot.

It was a more exciting week for Rose the Puppy, however. She's 6 months old now and had to suffer two indignities in one week. First, she had to go to Taylor to her old vet to get the rest of her puppy shots (they got delayed when Lee was having "issues"), which caused her to barf all over Lee's car. Second, she had to have all her "lady parts" removed yesterday (sure don't want any MORE puppies around here). She is doing pretty well and not running around and messing up her innards.

My friend Janet's daughter had asked us to babysit her two yorkies over the weekend (6 dogs, whee), but it would have been way too exciting for Rose's surgical scars. Good thing she ended up not needing us after all (I know the dogs would love the teeny dogs, long as Buddy didn't eat one or anything, LOL).

Anyway, think recovery thoughts for Rose, pictured here last week guarding her doggie door.

In other news, I did get some nice clothing for the new job, including red patent leather shoes (cha cha cha!), and I painted my nails very red in celebration. Best nail polish job I have done in ages--only one tiny chip and it's been four days! And most important, YES I got my hair done, so the disgusting inch of roots that was glaring at me every day is history, and I am a sparkling strawberry blonde with light highlights. I just got the bangs cut, so it's still long and pretty much the same as the previous lovely cut.

The weather was beautiful for a couple of days, so I spent a bit of time outside enjoying my yard in the daylight (not much of that starting soon!). It's getting rainy AGAIN so I am glad I had fun when I could. I hope it won't be too bad tomorrow so we can work on projects. The rain will be good for the new grass, though. I think it is gonna stick!!!

Now that my stress has lessened, Lee's has picked up, so I have tried to support him as much as I can. They keep delaying announcements about what is going on in our former department, so everyone feels up in the air. It has to be hard to concentrate on projects, not knowing if you get to do them or not. Even under stress, it is wonderful to be with Lee and to enjoy our relationship. It's simply the best one I have ever had. We both feel so lucky.

Aside: I have to say I sure am consistent. One of the jobs I was up for didn't come through. Oh, the dude said I was the best candidate (it was the one making wikis), but they had to use a particular agency, so the folks pitching me couldn't get me in. Since I was recently reading through the old blog, it's been so apparent that I come in second a LOT! Funny.

And happy Friday the 13th!! Busy weekend coming up, so I should have stuff to report.

Post Stupor Bowl Action

This month's tarot gathering was very pleasant, and we did a great job decorating, I think. Lots of white candles, courtesy of Lee, the White Candle Dude, plus a nice white altar cloth and flowers from Shannon, and a bunch of white roses left over from a bouquet my lovely boyfriend gave me.

The Imbolc ritual was good, other than good ole Jeff wandering in during grounding, to make a PBJ sandwich, because we rudely ordered pizza with mushrooms...oh who cares. I enjoy the spontaneous nature of our group--we wanted to chase away negativity, so Shannon found a funny skeleton shaped rattle in her purse, and we made noise with that like crazy. And to bring good vibes to those in need, we rang an angel bell I had hanging around the house. We decided to keep our group small, but maybe have something larger and invite others for the equinox.

Saturday was pretty fun, other than being sad that someone I like lost her job, and worse, someone from Ye Olde Spiritual Community whom I admired passed away last week, leaving a wife and two small children. I enjoyed teaching a child and two adults, plus helping a regular customer figure out top-down sweaters. Then Lee and I ran off to choir practice (the songs changed, due to the death). That was enough to make me want to do something light-hearted so we went to the Evil Mall and got me some new pajamas and "fun" sleepwear. It was interesting to get Lee to make choices, but what a trooper, he stuck with me in the lady stores. He got his reward later!

Saturday night we went to dinner at Lee's friends' house and ate some good southern cooking. I enjoyed meeting the daughter of the house, who is also a bossy alto in choir. We had a good time and were laughing our heads off all the way home. It is so, so nice to have someone to laugh with. I think that is something that makes both of us really feel good--we can laugh together and genuinely have fun, even if it's over nothing at all.

Church on Sunday was sad, but nice, and we had some good conversations there. Then we went out to Granger where Lee got some more stuff, including more music stuff, and I tidied the yard a bit and cleaned the kitchen. I dunno, I guess if anyone broke in or something, I'd want it to look nice for them. Of course, there's less and less worth stealing now. The only thing I'd worry about is the lovely bed and the reasonable couch. Oh yeah, the dandy dishwasher and the killer washer and dryer. MMMMM wish those were MINE. (I do not at this point know whose they are). But, we had fun, again, just doing "stuff" together. Ahh, happy couple bliss.

The highlight of Sunday was the Super Bowl, which really did not put me in a stupor. I liked both teams, so couldn't pick a favorite. I let my pal Ricky do that--every year one team is a bunch of jerks and the other team can do no wrong, and I never know who it will be until I get to the event. So, Lee, Austin and I went to Ricky and Rebecca's house (choir director and spouse) and had tons of fun. There is no one more fun to watch a football game with than Ricky, period. The national championship game that the U of Texas played in was probably the most sports fun I had in my life. I can remember we scared their dog with our whooping and yelling, and we all hugged each other like fools at the end. So, that was a nice evening, and I was glad Lee got to spend more time with them and see how nicely they have fixed up their house.

OK, so that was my weekend. Today I typed all day. Now I am home listening to Lee cook Tomorrow think of Work Boy #2 as he gets his horribly infected tooth taken care of.

Highs and Lows

There really have been a lot of highs and lows lately. Do I thrive on drama? Not as much as some people I know, but I do seem to manage always to have some nice, meaty "concern" to dwell on. Oh boy, another issue to work on. I'm lining them up these days.

I am not knitting as much as I was. And that is bad timing, with holidays approaching and nothing for anyone bought--I don't feel "festive" even when I am feeling happy. When I am feeling happy I am in some other world where gifts and family and obligations don't even exist. Darn those other worlds sometimes...but, I am making a pretty set of washcloths for my sister, because she actually ASKED for them. Of course, I had to get some fancy cotton that is hand-dyed, not practical Sugar and Cream. And I am on sleeve #2 of the Silk Garden sweater. I hope to go back and finish my vest after that, but it is going to be so big, now, sigh.

And I am so wanting things to go better for EM, but he is having to slog through some hard times. And all I can do is listen and watch. And hope. What does it say about my issues when I can't even convey positivity about the things I am most positive about in my whole life? I guess you just can't be sure of anything until time passes and it really is true. So Suna should go and enjoy the things she has right here and right now.

translation: None of this is easy, but you have to deal with consequences. I really am glad Lee's family has been so supportive, but sad about the name calling and accusations he has had to deal with. That's why these translations are here. To make things really clear and less easy to misinterpret.

Comments


Lee said...
IV Wands, again.
Saturday, December 09, 2006 11:13:00 AM

Suna said...
It's a good thing we can make our own 4 of Wands, huh.I think I just have hormones.
Sunday, December 10, 2006 8:46:00 PM
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When Worlds Collide, and That 4 Thing

I had another one of my little gatherings for tarot friends last night. We had a few new attendees (boys!) and it was a bit nerve-wracking for those who brought them--you hope your friends from one sphere in your life will get along with your friends from another friend, but you never know. It all went pretty good, though, and I think everyone liked or at least tolerated each other well. So our worlds collided, but it ended up being an OK thing.

The new attendee who bonded the best, though, was the visiting dog, who was quite enamored of my pug, and vice versa. They were incredibly cute and happy playing together, but the poor blind corgi just stood their aimlessly barking all the time. I thought I was going to lose my mind at one point, when I was attempting to center myself and she kept doing her sharp bark at slightly irregular intervals. ANNOYING.

The energy in the room was a little difficult to deal with last night (but it was OK, EM, so you settle down, now). In the end, I finally chugged Ace Pear Cider, and I am so NOT a chugger. That let me just get silly. Luckily the silly 48-year-olds quite amused Tina and Kat.

Note: purple and lilac candy looks brown in candle light.

All righty, so everyone on my little email list just HAS to do this thing, so here is my list:

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE (before the current employment)

1. director at dysfunctional nonprofit organization
2. web designer
3. publications manager at mathematics software company
4. lowly worker at printed circuit board factory

FOUR MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED OVER AND OVER

1. Young Frankenstein
2. Clockwork Orange
3. Tommy
4. Best of Show

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:

1. Gainesville, FL
2. Plantation, FL
3. Champaign-Urbana, IL
4. Austin, TX (and that is the ONLY four places)

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH:

1. Football
2. The Daily Show
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Baseball

FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:

1. St. Thomas, USVI
2. Ireland/Wales/England
3. San Diego
4. High Point, NC (to see my daddy)

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:

1. butternut squash
2. Mexican dulce de leche candy
3. guacamole
4. salmon sashimi

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:

1. anywhere with my psychic twin
2. at a retreat with my distant women friends
3. see #1
4. see #1

FOUR BOOKS I HAVE READ OVER AND OVER
1. Robin Wood Tarot
2. Knitting from the Top Down
3. Chicago Manual of Style
4. The Spiral Dance
(I don't read a lot of books over and over)

FOUR PEOPLE WHO WILL ANSWER BACK:

1. I don't pass these things on except via blog

FOUR PEOPLE WHO YOU KNOW WILL NOT ANSWER BACK:

1. He Who Never Comments or Answers Email

translation: at some point during the previous few days, Lee had brought up his desire to end his marriage, and his STBX moved out of his house. Sorry, I didn't write this down because of the lack of privacy issue. At some point AFTER that event, we became physically intimate. Yes, we were already emotionally intimate. I don't know how I could have prevented that. The important thing to note is that nothing occurred beyond hugging and kissing until after that talk.

Puppies Are Cute

Duh, of course puppies are cute. I got back a while ago from helping Work Man pick up his new puppy. Her name is Rose, and she is a little black and tan fluffball of indeterminate origin. We got her a little collar with roses on it at the pet store, too. I got to do lots of fun stuff like go to the tractor store, too. We got to drive way, way into rural Burnet County to get the puppy, too, so I saw lots of llamas, longhorns, horses and such. And a lot of goats.

There were even very cute goats right next to Work Boy #1's house (where the dog came from--he and spouse do puppy fostering).

It was fun to meet all the dogs and puppies at Work Boy's, and we were relieved that they didn't get too weirded out by me coming out to get the dog. It just helped to have someone to hold her on the way home. And Work Man and I needed to chat. It's good to chat with nice scenery going by, rather than in a cubicle.

This was not what I expected to do today, but it's a good thing, all in all! The only other major day highlight was singing soprano in choir today. It is not all that bad singing melody once in a while.

translation: I neglected to mention that we decided to be a couple on this day, right here. This is the day. And we kissed. The decision was that the next item on the agenda was talking to roommates and partners about this. Please note that I didn't plan any of this.

April 2007: It's funny that what is probably the most important day of my life really didn't say much about it, and no one even commented. I am glad to have Lee.

Happy Inarticulate Day

Trying to post every day, like my pal Barbara, but not doing as well. I didn't sleep much last night--woke up feeling sickly a couple of times, then got worried about the job stuff. Then woke up when DP came home at 4:30 after chatting with his favorite conversational partner at Donn's Depot. I am glad he has such a friend.

For someone who said many words, I was really inarticulate today. I feel a bit like a song from Band on the Run. "No Words." But I learned a new obscure word today, so at least I have one word, and it was a weird one, and it made me laugh. And I read some song lyrics that meant a lot to me, so it was a good day. Just inarticulate.

Work was a killer today--I was there 7:30 am to 7 pm. But while some was intense, some of it was also goofing off. I really do enjoy those coworkers--even when they are griping.

And it's true; I also enjoy the Work Man. It's really energizing and liberating to get a chance, even if just for a little while every day, to be myself uncensored. Hard to get used to that, though, so duh, I am inarticulate. If you have a friend, family member or lover with whom you can be your uncensored self, please thank him or her, for me. It doesn't happen every day!

translation: I was inarticulate because Lee wrote me a song. It explained how he felt about me. It was the same as how I felt about him. I was not sure what to do. We do not have a relationship. We have potential at this point. I think I may have held his hand.

Comment

Barbara said...
yeah, sometimes it's not easy coming up with something every day. At least I can be thankful for the Neighbors From Hell to keep my blog, um, interesting? is that the word? I dunno, I'm being inarticulate today. :) Glad you got Work Man to keep things fun.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006 10:51:00 PM

Mission Statement

At the last week work group meeting, the boss asked us to consider writing a mission statement. Thinking she’d check, I mentally worked on one on the bus to last week’s football game (good distraction), then I wrote this down.

Never stop learning: To become a better person
Never stop caring: To better help others
Never stop working: To move toward a better world

It works for me—hits on my three goals—to help myself, others, and the world be their best. Notice I didn’t mention “love.” I want to care, but not so much that it causes problems.

You know, it seems really pretentious to have a personal mission statement. But, it was a good exercise to distill my life goals into something short and pithily repetitive.

translation: "I want to care, but not so much that it causes problems," means I don't want to mess with anyone already in a relationship.

I’ve been working really hard this week and listening to fairly loud music to drown out the incredible amount of noise in our row this week (lots of loud international phone calls, meetings with excited Indian people, plus the usual coworker shenanigans). As I do so, I keep running across lyrics from songs that I like. Nothing so profound as that Dave Carter song from yesterday, but I find a lot of those Indigo Girls lyrics from my Mental Crisis Era still whack me, like these two from the same song:

I’m haunted by geography
And the flora and the fauna of your heart

And

My regrets become distractions
And I cannot do them justice.

That one used to be in my email .sig. Sure describes the current modality.

The best one is this one, off a KGSR live compilation:

“my left brain knows all love is fleeting.”

That’s about it. I hope to improve my mood by seeing knitting friends tonight. I have missed them. Will have to continue to miss Jody for a while, but maybe I will be able to see Cheri later in the week. Maybe Tina and Katie will both be there tonight. They cheer me up.

Comments

Katie said...
I'm so honored to be mentioned in your blog! You cheer me up too! 24 minutes until I can head to the LYS - See you soon!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 4:42:00 PM

Barbara said...
Love the mission statement -- I can relate to much you wrote, but you knew that. :) You are not alone.
Saturday, October 21, 2006 3:23:00 PM