There's More to Life Than Knitting!

Join Suna as she stops knitting long enough to ponder her life, share her joys and concerns, and comment on the goings on in the world.
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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Sun Sets on a Long Band Show Season

Other than three nice, easy football games, the intense band parenting season has wound down. There's a pep rally the kids have to do tomorrow, but no need to chaperone, so we just have to make sure someone gets them there and back. Ahhh.

Last night was an example of working hard while being the kind of parents we want to be. Once again Festival of Bands rolled around, but it was cold. Colder than we thought, and very windy. We were the only band whose parent chaperones sat with them on the visitors' side, so we could barely hear the middle schools and saw the backs of all the high school shows. And we were COLD. Lee and I even skipped the Longhorn Marching Band to go warm up in the bus (no hanky panky occurred! we are good bus stewards!). Still, I know the kids appreciated it, and not just ours. Lee gave a poor sniffly drummer a napkin, and he looked so grateful. Other parents loaned out their blankets. Little comments and big smiles made it clear the kids are glad we are there.

On the way home in the car, Tuba Boy was talking about his two best friends and their parental relationships. He said he didn't understand why one friend didn't just talk to his parents and tell them simple things, like he does. He said the friend told him, "Well, you have reasonable parents, I don't." Tuba Boy made it clear how happy he is to have "reasonable parents." We talked about how our rules don't have to be set in stone as long as he keeps us updated on what he's doing, etc., and he says that's what he tells his friend--let your parents know what's going on and they might not punish you so much. You know, it's hard to say who is more grateful--me to have such reasonable children or them to have reasonable parents.

Both boys agreed that it was much easier on them that none of us are "nutty" like one friend's parents are, to the extent that she tries at all costs to avoid one parent. They seem so glad all their parents and partners act respectful with each other and are vaguely sane. I know what they mean--I was so glad my parents were people I could trust to care about me, but not to overwhelm me with rules and regulations. They did it just right--if I went too far, they'd come down on me, but if I showed them I respected their guidelines, they'd respect me back.

Conversations like this, which only lasted ten minutes or so, really help me. I can think of them when Tuba Boy forgets yet another vital item* or makes it way too clear he'd rather be with the friends than us, or when Beccano bends the truth about school stuff. They are so good hearted, underneath it all.

*Tuba Boy cracked us up before last night's performance: he saw Lee, ran up to him and urgently implored, "Lee, give me your socks!" Apparently, in addition to forgetting his black shoes and shorts to wear under his band outfit, he also forgot socks. Luckily, Lee had worn black socks. So, there they were, in the middle of the band hall, exchanging socks. Good thing Lee's a good sport about this stuff.


sandy said...

As I said to Aenea today, twice, it's remembering those little things/moments that keep parents and teachers from killing kids. She had some trouble with keeping control in class today, but how can you resist a girl who has made three different models of the atomic structure of Calcium and who falls asleep with A Wind in the Door tucked under her chin (the teacher leading the Book Clubs LOVED that!)
Then again today, in B&N, as she was giving a hearty squee to some Hannah Montanta drivel, I remembered that the squee had been just as hearty for the Merry Wives of Windsor script she had found five minutes before.

Stephanie said...

While the sunset is beautiful and poetic, I would have liked to see a photo of the great sock exchange. :-) Kudos to you and Lee for bringing out the best in the boys.