Brave New World

Hello world. It's been a long week and it is only Wednesday morning. But it is a Wednesday when I woke up and felt lighter and freer, and back to happy again. I can concentrate on work, send strength to Everything Man (EM, formerly known as Work Man), and be myself.

What will I do when I can be myself?

I don't know. It has been so long since I have been able to be Suna 24/7 without looking over my shoulder, censoring myself, worrying about someone else's reaction...well, it should be fun.

So, yesterday I did a very hard thing, and something I honestly didn't know if I could make myself do. I also didn't know if I'd make it through the night safely, since it involved delivering bad news to a person with one mighty temper. But I managed to gently and kindly convey to DP that he is now RM (roommate) and that at some point in the not-too-distant future he'll need to move on to "friend who lives somewhere else." He said he had a feeling it was coming, and that, given the big ole holes in our relationship, it was not a surprise. I got all weepy and kept stressing that I care about him (because I DO, in a close friend-ly way). But, no yelling occurred. I am actually really proud of him and impressed with this--it's not how he used to handle things.

OK, enough of my personal drama. Oh wait, it's my blog, I can write about that!

I had a nice time last night at Older Boy's band concert. He looks so nice in a tux!

And on Monday night, EM went with me to sing with that tight-knit group of mine, and it went really well, even if EM had been having a very rough day. I'll be glad to have some better guitar playing, personally. And four voices will be a lot of fun to work with. I sure enjoy listening to EM sing.

Thanks to everyone who's been sending me positive thoughts. Sam and Elisabeth--what you wrote me last night really helped.

translation: I told Jeff as soon as I could. The truth is that I was worried about his reaction, knowing how he gets when he is angry. However, he has been in therapy and on helpful medications, and he was perfectly aware that we had not been a "couple" for more than half the time we were together. This merely brought into the open something we'd not been talking about. I am very, very proud of him and how he is handling things. I am glad he will remain my friend and part of the kids' lives. He is proving what a fine person he really is, and I am thrilled to have been his friend long enough to see him get to this point.

Comments

rachel l. said...
Oh suna ....{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}Never easy to deliver that kind of news. Know that you have many, many friends supporting and loving you!
Friday, December 08, 2006 8:55:00 AM