Wednesday Wonders #10: Beccano!

This week I want to salute someone in my own family. Just don’t mention it to him, OK? Today’s Wednesday Wonder is my son, Beccano. Yeah, yeah, I go on and on about these kids all the time, but here I go again. Maybe once I write this you’ll see why.

Beccano has always been an incredibly creative person. That’s a given. Just look at that art he finished yesterday. It’s like my doodles used to be, only, well, better. And he made the stencil for the shirt in the picture of him, which was taken just a week ago. But, the creativity is just a part of him, and not why he’s been impressing me lately.

Beccano has had a hard time with traditional schooling. He is not someone meant to thrive in the US school environment. I am not a good homeschooler, and never had the money for a private school, so he’s had to muddle through. You may recall he had a really bad time at the end of elementary school (though it was before this blog). He was able to pull himself together, thanks to good therapy, and got through middle school OK. High school has been harder for him. And the last 6 weeks were a mess. He didn’t understand his Spanish (irregular preterits) or his Geometry, and even though he tried, he couldn’t bring up his grades. Here’s why I am proud, though. He does NOT take his issues with school as indicators that he is not an intelligent, worthy person (like I would have in his situation). He understands that he has a processing issue (that is what the testing revealed), and that it doesn’t mean he’s stupid. AND, he has buckled down and is getting more help, actually doing his homework (one of his unhelpful coping mechanisms is to just “forget” things—he is much better at this, but not great). He didn’t do this because we yelled at or threatened him. He did it because he knows he needs to get through high school and because he wants to do band contest. I am proud. I am just as proud of him as I am of his brother’s good grades!

I am also very proud of what a well rounded person he’s becoming. He keeps up with current events and can talk intelligently about all kinds of subjects. He is serious about music and actually practices. A lot. That is a huge change for the better—when he finds something he likes, he WILL concentrate! And he is moving past some of his isolationist tendencies. While his friends always call him the funny one and seem to enjoy him a lot at school, we never saw them here and he never hung out with them until recently. Thanks to joining the band, he has had to spend time with friends outside of school. That has enabled him to actually get a girlfriend, and has encouraged him to go to a party and a couple of school events. He’s really pushing himself to move beyond his comfort zone. This is a huge step toward maturity in him.

Plus, I see how kind he can be, how he cares for his friends and puts up with their quirks, and how he expresses appreciation to others. I am impressed with how he treats his band members and the kids in his circle, even if he complains about some of them, sometimes. He also seems to treat the girlfriend very well, too (I guess he’s watched his brother). It’s clear that he is loving, generous and thoughtful. The best recent example is that he went out of his way to get me the birthday gift I wanted, even though it was a financial stretch for him. I think he was as excited about it as it would have been for a gift for himself. I certainly responded in a way that reinforced the idea that giving is a good thing. But, that wasn’t hard, because I really, really love these Converse All Stars with a “The Who” theme. I have very happy feet!

It’s very heart-warming to see my little boy with the distant eyes growing up to figure out how he can be himself yet interact with the rest of the world positively. He’s different. Not standard issue. But, he is growing more flexible and confident. I just can’t wait to see what he does next, and know he will succeed in his own way, on his own terms.

That’s my Beccano!

Website for Beccano

Triskelion on MySpace