Friday's Feast

Appetizer: How many times per day do you usually laugh?
2-3. I used to laugh more when I had more time with friends and wasn't worried all the time. Well, if I watch the Daily Show the number goes up.

Soup: What do your sunglasses look like?
They are prescription glasses with clip ons. The frames are 4 sided but not square. They are navy in the front but have layers that are green and teal. The clip-ons have green metal.

Salad: You win a free trip to anywhere on your continent, but you have to travel by train. Where do you go?
British Columbia.

Main Course: Name one thing you consider a great quality about living in your town/city.
The wildflowers in the spring.

Dessert: If the sky could be another color, what color do you think would look best?
peach.

Family Update

I figure I owe a family update, so here are some random news tidbits.

First, I am so sick of our barking dogs that I could scream. Every single thing that makes a noise sets Gwynneth off, then Scrunchy begins this awful small dog sound that really resembles coughing up his internal organs. Gwynn seems to have hurt herself, or gotten hurt pestering Buddy. She is limping again. I do not blame Buddy. When she gets all agitated she bounces around and barks in his face.

Tuba Boy has a new car. Sorta. There is a car in our driveway that looks very much like the one in this picture, but it still belongs to his dad, because he didn't buy it until just before he left, so the title has not been sent to him yet. There was no way to sign it over to me. So, I can't insure it. So, Tuba Boy's new car gets to sit in the driveway. But isn't it a nice car? I think it was a good choice, and is certainly in good shape for a 1995 Swedish people mover. The back seat will certainly hold a tuba. It drives pretty well, but sure requires some clutch and steering effort. I like it, though--it drives the way I like and is very comfortable. I think, once we get the title, change over the registration, and get his license renewed (also a pain in the butt thanks to needing a form from school, even to renew the darned thing), he will enjoy it. He has turned into a pretty good driver.

And here is Beccano's new toy. His dad got it for him as a late Christmas gift (because the original plan didn't work out--I ended up just buying the Rock Band software). Yesterday, when the kids were off from school, Beccano spent a lot of time making this thing do all sorts of tricks. He was very patient in figuring out what to do to complete the circuits to light up lights, sound buzzers, and such. I can see that lots of learning will happen with this little electronics lab, so I am glad he picked it. I really enjoy listening to his thought processes as he plays with it, too. He's also been playing a lot of guitar (got a blister from it!) and making much progress on the fine songs of Radiohead, which I don't know, so I have no idea if he's doing well or not. But he is learning to finger pick!

Beccano got a very interesting book called Dead Children Playing, which contains art from the people who do Radiohead's album art. It is really interesting, and I am intrigued by his choice of favorite artist. There's a lot to discuss in this very dark art. I love the techniques and ideas, especially the series of words seen on signs around various cities.

Lee is improving rapidly and I am so glad that the pneumonia is fading away. He is working normally and able to do a little around the house. I don't want him to push it, though, since his lungs are not healed yet, I am sure.

As for me, I am not feeling too well--seeing how bad the economy is going, and losing that ALE job because they have once again stopped hiring folks like me--that doesn't help. I've had a few friends with sad deaths in their families or scary illnesses, and that concerns me, too. I didn't get the usual optimism from thinking about people like MLK yesterday, either. I just feel bad that all his wonderful ideas are expressed so rarely any more. War, not peace, is what people seem to want. And hate, not love for people who differ from you is the norm. Not enough of us are saying aloud, "I don't like this!" because we are afraid of the consequences. Hope for the future? I do not see much.

So, love your families. I love mine. One happy note: my dad plans to visit. He hasn't been here in years.

Job Seeker Blog #7

I haven't posted much lately because nothing happened until recently. I have to admit it has been getting me down. It takes a lot of my energy to keep up the good front, and every couple of weeks I fall down and start to wallow. So, I spent the last couple of days wallowing. Lee had some idea that I'd get an offer yesterday, so when nothing happened, I felt even worse. Of course, maybe someone was just thinking of me or something!

But, my tarot cards were all happy, so I kept hoping and kept applying.

Of course things turned around, or at least things happened. My friend Ginger keeps sending me referrals, and that helps, too. She was the best thing that happened at the previous job!

Today these developments occurred:

1. I got an email from the place I like best, asking me to come back in tomorrow for another round of interviews. Whew. They like to interview. My concern is they may be considering me for a different position. But, the title of my interview sheet still lists the previous one. Lee's idea is maybe they want me for a management position. Yeah, that would be a possibility, given the level of people scheduled to interview me. That would be fun! I'll continue to hope for that good job I already interviewed for.
2. I got a call from a recruiter for a job I applied for last week, and did a phone interview with her. I honestly don't think this one will work out, but I commend the company for looking at candidates outside their usual pool of applicants. They want writing samples. That seems to be my downfall.
3. I finally heard back from ALE about that job I interviewed for in December. Sure enough, that job went away. The recruiter said someone already there is going to have my job added to their responsibilities. Sigh. He said right now only the jobs that directly interact with customers are moving forward. There go the other jobs I applied for there! He did say the guys I talked to really liked me, and he put positive notes in my file for the other jobs I'd applied for. That is nice. Of course, I know how that goes.

There you have it. I hope I hear back from some of the places I have applied for this week. Keep up the good thoughts. This is really dragging out.

Important News (Humor)

This came across my church chat list, and while usually I am not fond of mass email forwards, this one cracked me up. I do have a few questions on it, which will appear at the end.

Begin Internet Forwarded Message:

Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda".

I certainly hope it will assist all of you so that you will be prepared when these leaders reveal their plan...

The Homosexual Agenda...

6:00 am: Gym

8:00 am: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)

9:00 am: Hair appointment

10:00 am: Shopping (preferably at Neiman's or Saks)

12:00 pm: Brunch

2:00 pm: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy all healthy marriages, replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, bulldoze all houses of worship, secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media.

2:15 pm: Be fabulous

2:30 pm: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest

4:00 pm: Cocktails

6:00 pm: Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)

8:00 pm: Theatre

10:30 pm: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"
End Forwarded Internet Message

My Questions:

1. Who or whom is the Head Homosexual? Can I nominate anyone?
2. Should I tell my gay friends? What if they missed the memo?
3. Could someone please send me the Liberal Agenda? I am now feeling lost because I am not sure what I should be doing right now, though a shower seems like a good idea.

Yes, I am aware the email plays upon gay stereotypes. And I am abundantly aware that most gay people aren't stereotypical in most ways. It's just cute, that's all. And am I not the typical liberal, apologizing for some light-hearted humor, in case someone humorless takes offense. Sigh. What's the world coming to? Don't answer. I know.

I hope to post something less silly later today.

Friday's Feast Plus

Peekaboo! I am looking at you through a scarf I finished last night. It's gotten pretty cold, so I am glad I finished it. I also finished Lee's cardigan, and to my relief not only did he like it, but it fit! I'll have a post about it on the knitting blog, or you can look at this picture of Lee not looking as thrilled as he feels.

The knitting cheered me up, since there's no new job action, and I am feeling sad for a couple of friends--one's estranged parents got hit by a car and killed as they crossed the street to church, and another's parents lost a beloved pet rather suddenly. There are some pretty icky illnesses in my dad's side of the family as well. Sigh. At least we are all getting healthy. Lee is much improved.

OK, off to the fluff and fun of Friday's Feast...

Appetizer: What is your favorite beverage?
I must name three! Cold = Diet Coke with Lime. Hot = Freshly ground coffee. Alcoholic = Drambuie/Ace Pear Cider (hard to decide)

Soup: Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.
1. My black Notebook of Knowledge that has all my work and job notes.
2. The camera--always ready to upload new pix
3. A pug on a spring (on the second monitor)

Salad: On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are?
9. I think honesty is important. But I am afraid that I have been known to bend the truth so as to not hurt someone unnecessarily. Like I didn't tell my dying mother my boyfriend and I were breaking up, so she could die happy about our future--she loved both of us so much.

Main Course: If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why?
Gosh, this isn't a huge concern to me. Maybe I'd change Normal, Illinois. It has to be hard to live up to that (yes, I know what it means--it's where the teaching college was).

Dessert: What stresses you out? What calms you down?
My friends are laughing now. They will say EVERYTHING stresses me out. I do have anxiety disorder to a small extent.

My biggest stressors: Not having enough money/a job, discord at home, being around loud discordant noises, crowds.

Calming influences: knitting, being alone in silence, controlled breathing.

Tuba Boy Birthday Dinner

Tuba Boy Birthday Dinner
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Just a quick post to share one photo from Tuba Boy's birthday. They are acting pretty maniacal there (but this is better than the photo looking up Beccano's nose, which I didn't even upload to Flickr). Now you may understand why there's a snifter there, which is drained of delicious Drambuie at that point.

Actually, it was a nice birthday for Tuba Boy, even with few gifts. I got him a sizable Sonic gift card, which made him happy, and Lee put money in the bank for him, so combined with other relatives' contributions, he got good birthday cash (to spend on candy and soda, from what I can determine of his spending habits). Beccano got him two CDs he really wanted, and Debate Girl got him two cute t-shirts. All good.

As a special treat, we went to Z Tejas, a restaurant that just opened a branch near our house (finally, a more formal restaurant near our house!). We had some really good entrees, with fish for me and Beccano and Mexican things for Lee and Tuba Boy. Other than Lee not liking his cole slaw (it had cilantro and other mystery seasonings in it), all went down mighty quickly. For a Stick Boy, that TB sure could eat. He downed his whole chicken entree and tried some of everyone else's too. It is so nice to see him eating well, given his weight.

And of course we all had dessert. The men all had beautiful Reese's cheesecake and I had berry cobbler. All good.

And that's the birthday report! Today's my stepmother's big day, so I will call her. And I hope Jeff is returning to Austin today or tomorrow. He spent a long time in Florida caring for his mother, and it really has wiped him out. I know he'll be glad to get back to his old routines.

Parental Anniversary Musings

Seventeen years ago today, this young fellow was two hours old. He's been a great companion all these years, and brought me immeasurable joy. I feel pretty bad that we can't do anything more for his birthday, but I bought Rock Band right after New Year's and he knew that counted as his birthday gift. Plus, I let him drive my car to school today, woo.

I'd hoped to take him and his two friends out to dinner, but neither can come. The girl's dad won't let her go to dinner. I can't quite fathom that. Now the hope is that Lee will feel well enough to go out to a nice dinner tonight. I think Lee is doing well enough to make it, especially since he isn't going to try to drag himself into ALE today. Doing that yesterday really knocked him out.

A big birthday complication is that his dad is bringing him a car, which he will be paying his dad back for in the fatherly quest to teach responsibility. Guess whose responsibility it is to arrange for the insurance for someone else's car that she doesn't even know the year on? Me. The unemployed person. Having the third car will be handy, though I don't look forward to all the parking ballet in our two-car driveway.

Other Things

I had a really weird couple of days battling my personal issues. For some reason I woke up one night feeling really lonely, like I had no one to talk to. A number of things led to it: good friends here in town announced they did NOT want anyone interacting with them while they dealt with a family problem. I had already not been speaking to the wife, who is someone I used to think of as a close friend, because that was the request. I feel so sad--apparently people in the women's group I used to belong to get to be supportive, but the rest of us are outsiders and not welcome. I'd thought this couple were my close friends, but I think it was mostly on my end. (Same with another supposed close friend who didn't invite me to his wedding--I think I don't have a good ability to tell when friends go from close to acquaintance.) So, I am spending a LOT of time telling myself that I am being a good friend by not saying anything, as they requested. And of course I want to honor the request and just send good vibes. I wouldn't have given advice, anyway--I am always so worried about saying something inappropriate that I try to let people lead the way on things like that, and just try to listen.

And speaking of inappropriate, I accidentally typed "aloud" my sad thoughts about an event one of my email lists is planning--they are all gleefully planning travel, arranging complicated seminars and events, which all sounds so great. I have been so sad that I can't make any plans due to my situation--when they started I had no vacation/sick days, and now I have no nothing. I am sure I am mostly jealous that others can plan fun events with friends and that is not in my range of possibilities (and my family can't visit me--pretty lonely). But, I didn't phrase my concern well at all and that lead to people wanting to analyze me and have me explain myself and...stuff I am not good at. Ugh. That sort of thing brings up all my huge issues with desertion, and the idea I have in my head that all the people who suddenly disappear from my life do so because I accidentally phrase things in an inappropriate way and it pisses them off, but I get no chance to explain what I meant.

I must say, even I grow tired of my neuroses.

I think a root issue is that I just wish I had someone to vent to so I could get it out of my system, and I am temporarily out of "venting" friends. My previous venting target I rarely hear from since I lost the job in Illinois and she got all involved in her new job and partner. I miss her so much--she didn't judge me at all. And that's what had me all sad: I felt like my local and distant friends have all been drifting away.

Note to readers: I realize this is all in my head, and it mostly doesn't come up unless I am depressed or down for other reasons. I realize this will pass. No, I am not suicidal or clinically depressed. I am just worn out from the money and illness stuff. Read the next part.

On the Other Hand

I am proud of myself that, when I woke up all upset about this stuff, I was able to remind myself that there ARE people to talk to. Lee is here when not sick. Jody is here when not consumed with her own stuff. (So they are temporarily unavailable.) And there are still some wonderful friends both here and elsewhere who have not gone anywhere and are still sending me sweet emails and posting helpful comments here. How could I forget them? I didn't! I remembered them, and have decided to concentrate on those folks. And I'll try to be more in contact with the good friends I just don't hear from as much as I'd like--at least I got one knitting friend to show up at the LYS last week.

So, I am less nutso than I think I am.

Nice Stuff

(This is what happens when I take a couple of days off, I have too much to say, and I veer from sad to happy--what can I say, I'm a Pisces and that means "emotion" in a big way.)

Sunday I got a chance to get away and hang out with Jody as she went on quests to buy spinning equipment. Mostly I just wanted to get out of the house--sitting by the phone gets tiring. I enjoyed looking at the countryside, meeting new people and looking at longhorns and horses. I was glad to be there to be supportive of her during a weird time, and that we could talk about our somewhat wishful future plans, family stuff, and yarn stuff. So, see, I have a friend! And I had some fun!

I am also having fun learning stuff in the community choir. I love choral arrangements of spirituals, and we are doing some of those. I think it's really smart for me to have done this. Cheers me up.

So all is well. All that angst is PAST angst, posted mainly to show what a weird thought process I sometimes have, but that I can get past it! OK?

HAPPY MLK DAY AND TUBA BOY'S BIRTHDAY!!

Job Seeker Blog #6

Whew, I am feeling marginally better. I'd been a bit worried that the place I liked so much hadn't contacted me about the follow-up call, but then yesterday I got an email saying the VP was in town this week, so please could I meet with him personally on Wednesday (tomorrow). Yay and hooray. I also found out that one of my church friends just got a job there, and it would be neat to work in the same place as this nice kid (OK, man, he's about to be a father).

I am having trouble finding even marginally appropriate new things to apply for, but I do hope some of the interviews I had the last two weeks will pan out.

And the lovely unemployment money is in the bank, which is good. What is not to great is that it really takes some doing to get the money OFF the debit card they give it to me on, and ON to my bank account, which is where my bills get paid from. I'm sure this system works well for people who don't have bank accounts or mostly pay things by credit card, but if you use your own bank account to pay things, having to force the bank to reluctantly do a cash advance to get money into your account is not fun. It took forever for the bank person to accomplish this, whereas a check could get deposited from the drive-through lane. I guess there aren't as many unemployed people out there as I thought.

Good thoughts for tomorrow!

I am very grateful for the money, though. Looks like we won't go bankrupt while I am looking.

Friday's Feast

It seems to be more of a Saturday event since the job went away. I keep forgetting it's Friday.

Appetizer: What is your middle name? Would you change any of your names if you could? If so, what would you like to be called?
Ann. I once changed my name to SueAnn when I was briefly married and changed my name. Used my last name as my middle name and the other person's name as a surname. I didn't like that. I do go by Suna with people who know me well.

Soup: If you were a fashion designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you probably use the most?
I'd probably make comfortable things in natural fabrics, in whatever colors I liked. I'd probably feature a lot of hand knits.

Salad: What is your least favorite chore, and why?
So many to choose from. Mopping the floor. I am never sure it is actually clean. And the dogs will dirty it up in a few minutes.

Main Course: What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life?
Guns. I never met my grandfather because someone shot him while he was trying to break up a fight. A neighbor committed suicide when I was a child, very near us. Everyone was so upset.

Dessert: Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment.
I am at my work area in the office. Where I worked for many years. I can see oak trees, my pansy coffee cup and tarot cards.

Job Seeker Blog #5

There is little to report on the job front for the past two days. All I did was write some thank-you notes to places where I interviewed. I hope I did those OK. No calls came in, and everything on Monster, Craigslist and Yahoo Hot Jobs was either not something I was qualified for or paid so little I really couldn't live on them. Sigh.

The theory is that the places I liked so much are checking my references right this minute! Yeah!

The slight highlight is that I got my unemployment debit card with an amount on it that is just about half of what I was making when I worked. That will be extremely helpful, and probably we can get by on that. I do hope I don't need it for long. It is sad to be on unemployment. Also the card is very irritating. What I need is for money to be in my checking account, to pay all those bills that get automatically deducted. So I will have to go go the bank and have them show me how to get all the money off that card and into the bank account. Grr.

All this has me not in the best mood.

Also, not related to the job search, please, please send vibes to Lee. His illness is not getting better--still having high fevers. He broke down and went to the doctor, which is no fun without insurance, and discovered that yep, he has pneumonia. At least he now has strong antibiotics, and got his allergy prescription refilled, on top of that. I feel so sorry for him. It's a LONG time to be sick. And he's been trying to work from home, and doing pretty well--still, that is really difficult.

We are just not having a very good week.