There's More to Life Than Knitting!

Join Suna as she stops knitting long enough to ponder her life, share her joys and concerns, and comment on the goings on in the world.
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Monday, January 21, 2008

Important News (Humor)

This came across my church chat list, and while usually I am not fond of mass email forwards, this one cracked me up. I do have a few questions on it, which will appear at the end.

Begin Internet Forwarded Message:

Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda".

I certainly hope it will assist all of you so that you will be prepared when these leaders reveal their plan...

The Homosexual Agenda...

6:00 am: Gym

8:00 am: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)

9:00 am: Hair appointment

10:00 am: Shopping (preferably at Neiman's or Saks)

12:00 pm: Brunch

2:00 pm: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy all healthy marriages, replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, bulldoze all houses of worship, secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media.

2:15 pm: Be fabulous

2:30 pm: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest

4:00 pm: Cocktails

6:00 pm: Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)

8:00 pm: Theatre

10:30 pm: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"

End Forwarded Internet Message

My Questions:

1. Who or whom is the Head Homosexual? Can I nominate anyone?
2. Should I tell my gay friends? What if they missed the memo?
3. Could someone please send me the Liberal Agenda? I am now feeling lost because I am not sure what I should be doing right now, though a shower seems like a good idea.

Yes, I am aware the email plays upon gay stereotypes. And I am abundantly aware that most gay people aren't stereotypical in most ways. It's just cute, that's all. And am I not the typical liberal, apologizing for some light-hearted humor, in case someone humorless takes offense. Sigh. What's the world coming to? Don't answer. I know.

I hope to post something less silly later today.

1 comment:

nyjlm said...

hey! maybe after you track down the liberal agenda you can find the Jewish Agenda for Running the World. It would be good to know what I'm supposed to be working on this year!

I love that taking over the world takes up 15 minutes on this agenda.