Important News (Humor)

This came across my church chat list, and while usually I am not fond of mass email forwards, this one cracked me up. I do have a few questions on it, which will appear at the end.

Begin Internet Forwarded Message:

Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda".

I certainly hope it will assist all of you so that you will be prepared when these leaders reveal their plan...

The Homosexual Agenda...

6:00 am: Gym

8:00 am: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)

9:00 am: Hair appointment

10:00 am: Shopping (preferably at Neiman's or Saks)

12:00 pm: Brunch

2:00 pm: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy all healthy marriages, replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, bulldoze all houses of worship, secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media.

2:15 pm: Be fabulous

2:30 pm: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest

4:00 pm: Cocktails

6:00 pm: Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)

8:00 pm: Theatre

10:30 pm: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"
End Forwarded Internet Message

My Questions:

1. Who or whom is the Head Homosexual? Can I nominate anyone?
2. Should I tell my gay friends? What if they missed the memo?
3. Could someone please send me the Liberal Agenda? I am now feeling lost because I am not sure what I should be doing right now, though a shower seems like a good idea.

Yes, I am aware the email plays upon gay stereotypes. And I am abundantly aware that most gay people aren't stereotypical in most ways. It's just cute, that's all. And am I not the typical liberal, apologizing for some light-hearted humor, in case someone humorless takes offense. Sigh. What's the world coming to? Don't answer. I know.

I hope to post something less silly later today.