Still Here

I am still here. I think I am just feeling down, off, or something. But I have been busy and doing a lot of stuff--had a bunch of meetings last week and even enjoyed some of them. I am working on setting up a tarot group that will be a good replacement for some of the community I've been missing lately, at least I hope.



I took this rainbow photo before choir last Wednesday. It shows that it has been raining, at least a bit, here. That's been a relief.

Things are OK for Lee and the kids, though I am not looking forward to Lee's upcoming business trip. Glad for the job, though. It enabled me to order new glasses, which means I will see a lot better starting tomorrow or Wednesday.

Wish me luck--I have an in-person interview for an instructional design job I did a phone screening for last week. I really like my current job, but sure would like a permanent position, too! We will see how I do.

I will TRY to write more soon!

GOOD Stuff

See how happy this dog is? That's how everyone feels around our house right now. Even the dogs are feeling better, because the vet told us how much Benadryl to give them to actually help with all their itching issues.



Scrunchy got a clean bill of health at his return check-up, and had already lost two pounds. He is like a new dog. And even Rose and Buddy seem to feel better, though both are still worrying away at certain spots.

So, why are we so happy? Well, if you haven't heard it in person, let me tell you that Lee has accepted an offer of a permanent position at AppleCare (the tech support division of Apple Computers). He will be working with our former boss when we first met, and will have benefits, good pay and all that. The only downside is probably a bit more travel than I would like, but he hopes he won't be doing as much training as some others in that position. Still, he LIKES doing training--this job is doing all things he is good at and enjoys. It's a win-win situation. He was also up for another job, which initially paid better but was less in line with his interests, so it's great that this one panned out.

We are, as you can imagine, thrilled with the prospect of insurance and paid holidays. Perhaps the really long period of worrying about finances and stability will actually be coming to an end, at least for now. In the current economic situation, we consider ourselves incredibly fortunate.

So, what's this a picture of?



Why it's the view out of my office window. What office, you ask? Well, the folks at the slightly wacky contracting gig decided that I ought to come into the office more. And I have been there the last 9 work days. It's made a big difference, though cut into my blogging and knitting time considerably. That's OK, though, because they decided they like me in the office so much that they are going to try to make me permanent. Yep, that's right. If things work out, I might also have a "real" job soon! I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but so far the bosses' boss has said it's OK. I might have to do a wee bit of traveling, but at first it should not be too much.

I have really enjoyed the last couple of weeks in the office. It is honestly a very good bunch of folks to work with. I like everything they ask me to do, and am learning new things as I go along. The office is small, like about ten people, and they are all pretty darned fun and funny. And of course, all very, very intelligent. Scary smart, even. This is just ideal for me.

Plus, as you can see, I am stuck in the "bad" cubicle. Heh heh. The one with a wall of windows looking out onto a bunch of trees. This is NOT bad in my opinion! They've been just great about setting things up for me, and even played a practical joke on me. No complaints whatsoever about any of this. I will keep you posted!

The kids are just fine, and Beccano has finished 2/3 of his summer school. He actually seems to have enjoyed it quite bit. He did a bunch of driver's ed on the computer, too, and just has to get his learner's permit now. Slowy but surely we are making progress.

I have also been doing work on a church committee. Grr. That is less than ideal, but I am doing it well. I feel virtuous for at least trying again. Speaking of church, one of my favorite families is moving to Colorado, so I need to go to that party now. Mary, the mother of the family, was one of the first people to be nice to me and befriend me at the church, so I will miss her, and the rest of them all. I hope they have success and happiness there.

Not Again...

Well, still no word from the wonderful new job, so I am looking for something else again. I am so incredibly tired of doing this. And I am trying to figure out a book to write, patterns to sell, or something.

I wish something would work out.

Here is a picture of how cute our dog is. He reminds me that I enjoyed a nice party Saturday night, featuring lots of raw and gluten free food, and I enjoyed a nice piano recital by our church choir director. That stuff is all good.

Glad This Weekend's Over!

Poor little Suna had a mighty frustrating weekend, and Lee didn't have much fun either, so we were a bunch of grumpy guys and gals around here.

I spent all the end of last week and the weekend, when not running errands, working on a project to try to get a job. I was re-learning some software, and no, I refused to do something easy--I had to start a project from scratch, which meant graphic design, instructional design, technical writing, assessment creation, recording navigation...good thing I decided not to put in a movie! And the whole time I was doing it I kept thinking, "Gee, I could make this more interactive, or add this detail, or do this interesting Flash thing..." then I remembered there are only 24 hours in a day, and my days are filled with kid stuff, partner stuff, work stuff and obligations. So, I did my best. I got it all finished and went to "publish" it. Wham, no can do. The software could not find the source files. So, I spent hours looking at all the help files on earth...oh, and did I mention that my laptop had all sorts of "issues" during the week, requiring numerous reboots and fixes?

Gosh, just thinking of all this gives me pains. It didn't help that Beccano's and Parker's band performance at the Culture Fair went poorly (not their fault--they couldn't get a sound check), or that Tuba Boy's girlfriend had a migraine and he found out he didn't get into the other two colleges he'd applied for, and Lee was wiped out from a huge project at his work...we all had our issues! Note that Triskelion looked quite fine performing, as you can see above in this action shot of Beccano soloing!

Still, Lee and I got in some plant shopping and a trip to the outlet mall to get some fun things--he got me a new purse that strongly resembles my old one (I liked it fine but it was falling apart).

But, today has been a better day. I went to Home Depot at lunch and used wedding gift certificates to get us more plants and some nice pots to put large plants in. This will please Lee! And when I got to work, I was able to finish that project, so that I could upload it to the potential employer when I got home. Now I just hope it doesn't suck. Plus, I am hopeful that another potential employer will call soon--I did get a message. Sometimes you just have to wait out a storm and things will get better. Should have figured that out last Wednesday, huh?

More good news is that I have been walking Scrunchy almost every day for the past few weeks, and it has made a difference both in him and me. The weight I have put on in the last year or so is starting to reverse, slowly but surely. That's good--I need to fit into my "work clothing" again soon!

The final and best bit of good news from the last few days is that I have gotten to see my BBF and Wednesday Wonder Baby Abigail twice! I got to visit her precious baby self at home last Thursday, and then she came to the yarn shop Saturday. It is not just because I have known her since before she was born that I say she is a very, very, very cute baby. She really is. Look at her. She is most extraordinarily cute and baby-like. She even left an ear print on my arm while I held her, which I insisted on showing to both my kids and Lee. I love it when they do that. Babies are a fine thing for cheering you up, especially when you aren't up all night getting no sleep from them!

I have decided the rest of the week will just get better and better! It will!

The Rain Clouds Part and It's SUNNY!

It rained all last week, which didn’t help my mood much. It cleared up yesterday and I have been feeling a lot better since then. It helps that the weekend was mostly very pleasant, and that the work week has started out with a bang, too! And look, even the birds are cheerier (taken from my vantage point on the front porch, watching the finches eat seeds off the rosemary bushes. I didn't even know they had seeds on them.)

There was lots of teen fun all weekend—almost always there was someone under 21 hanging around who wasn’t my child. They are really enjoying spring break! I broke out the dehydrator Friday evening and started cutting up fruit. The next time I looked up there were 7 sets of eyes on me—five kids and two dogs’ worth! All four original Triskelion members were there, plus a bonus boy, and they all seem to like fruit. It was fun chatting with them and tossing them bits of food as I loaded up the dehydrator. Later that night, we (and Parker) went to Mesa Rosa, which made a chilly evening much happier.

The dehydrator remained popular the next night, when it was Tuba Boy’s turn to have a bunch of friends over ( he also had ONE girl—must be the thing to do, and I do say they are less screechy when there is just one of them). As they played the Zombies board game, I chatted with Debate King (the one who won his specialty in the tournament last week) about the dehydrator for at least a half hour. He really, really liked it. He even asked me if you can dehydrate lunch meat. Hmm. Why not ham jerky? All the while this kid (a very tall, big-boned person with a beard, so it’s hard to call him a “kid” really) was playing Beccano’s acoustic guitar beautifully. He serenaded the other kids with hilarious blues songs all night.

It was so darned damp in the house that the dried fruit started to un-dry rather quickly, so we know we need to get better storage for it. But it is delicious and very nice in oatmeal, as I had hoped! I did strawberries, pineapple, kiwi fruit, bananas and oranges. Next: jerky!

I had my share of grown-up fun this weekend. I detailed a lot of it in the knitting blog, but I want to say how much I enjoyed entertaining Katie, who is overdue with her first child, little Abigail. I dragged her off to the JoAnn’s Fabrics store, and the next day went over and visited her at her new house, which they just got all unpacked and ready in time for the birth. It was nice talking to her and reassuring her it would be OK. I also went to a baby shower for Jen, a very traditional one with games and stuff. Wow, all my knitting pals are competitive. The organizers are scrapbookers, which meant all the decorations were very, very detailed and cute. I got tired just looking at them, but they did a really nice job.

It was just a fun, good weekend. I even got to spend some time with Lee—we made a trip to Fry’s, and we enjoyed a nice quiet evening last night. He hasn’t been feeling well—back issues, so he needs to take it easy for a while. I made dinner last night, but it wasn’t very good beans and rice. I’ll try to make something better next time!

Today at work was great. I had some good stuff to do show up, which I liked. And I got three job-related phone calls. They ranged from yet another call about my own job, to a call about a marginal possibility that is sort of far away, to a guy calling me up and offering exactly what I’d love to do and had hoped to do at 3M—using that fun e-learning software to create training modules. This guy had some good ideas and the place sounds great. I have an interview there next week, so we’ll see how it goes! At least that’s all encouraging!

But wait, there's more! When I came home, there was a request for an interview in my email. Turns out to be another of the places they contract with at work. I sure know that stuff. Wow, this was not a bad day to be in the job market, considering!

When I got home from work, there was another surprise: Parker had straightened Beccano's hair. It wasn't straight, but it was straighter. I put it in a nice thick braid, which is what you see here. Wow, that boy has thick hair!

Tomorrow Tuba Boy and I are taking the afternoon off to go look at Southwestern University, where he might go to college. That sounds like fun! I guess I'll be missing a few hours of work over the next few days. But for all good reasons!

Getting Rid of an Old Shell and Defining My Own Success

Wow, I am a moody cuss. I had been having one of my periodic down times, and was perversely making things worse by reading the news, reading newspaper comments about the huge layoffs at the place where I am working now, listening to coworkers bemoaning stuff, and wallowing in all the bad news my friends and family are having.

(For example, Lee has ill relatives, Tuba Boy lost his job today, and yet another friend was laid off here.)

I told myself I need to get a grip on my attitude, and shed off the negativity shell just like our cicada friend in the photo shed its irrelevant shell. That means I have to focus on whatever positives I can come up with, and most important, get myself a plan. Once I have a real plan, I always feel better.

I have found some jobs to apply for, which I will do tonight, but a listing about Microsoft training that I saw on Craigslist reminded me that there’s no reason to not contact that nice training place I used to freelance at NOW to see if they have any openings. Well, that was an easy fix. They will be happy for me to do more for them! At least this means there will be SOME income after I transition out of this contract! I can still interview, teach knitting and see if I can do freelance editing, too. Whew.

I also decided to make a list of my successes. So often we view ourselves as successful vs. unsuccessful only based on what our capitalist US society deems important: how much money we make, and our job title. When I look at myself through that lens, I am inclined to feel pretty bad about myself. I went from a director-level job that paid well for a nonprofit to the lowest person on the totem pole doing my lowest-paid contract position so far. I appear to be sliding down.

Defining Your Own Success

But, maybe we need to define our own success, like my friend Diana did with her book on breastfeeding. Women with supply issues may not have a standard "successful" experience, but, if they define their own success, they can feel really good about what they can do. So, in that spirit, here are things which I have decided prove that I am a success!

• Given instructions, I can knit almost anything.
• I have raised two sons, one to age 18, who have not been arrested or fathered their own children.
• I’ve learned to identify many of my negative patterns and to intercept them early (such as panicking when I have no plan).
• I have finally found a partner I truly love and want to stay with the rest of our lives.
• I’ve learned to be happy with what I have, and how to enjoy life, even with fewer resources to draw on.
• I can cook a holiday meal all by myself if I have to.
• I pay all my bills online. That makes me feel really successful and way less forgetful.
• I have practiced treating people kindly, and meeting malice with kindness. And now people seem to like me a lot more.
• I have made a commitment to peace and have stuck with it. I have a consistent viewpoint on that, which spans all sorts of areas of life.
• Great progress has been made in my effort to avoid us vs. them thinking and to not lump all members of any group together. This has led me to have interesting friends and acquaintances from many cultures, races and religions, not to mention political viewpoints. I feel very successful about this.

OK, that’s plenty. If you are having trouble with feeling down on yourself, try this exercise. You may well see yourself in a very different light.

The Pattern Repeats

If you are a long-time reader, you are probably expecting this post by now. It seems to occur every 6 months or so.

Yes, it's another work-related disappointment. I no longer have the tantalizing hope that I'll be offered a permanent position on the team I'm in now.

Apparently they had one full-time equivalent, and had hoped to make that be my position, but a woman in the department who's got high connections wanted someone to work for her, so it went there. And that's all I'll say in case someone at ALE reads my blog. Ask me in person for details!

I don't think I made the cut for the other position at ALE, since it is being advertised outside the company. I'm hoping a colleague will put me in for one of the two positions at that other department, though. It's doing something I would like to do.

So, it's back to the networking drawing board. I have possibilities, of course, so I'll be fine. I just get to have my 1.5 days of incredible disappointment before picking myself up and starting again! Mainly I am mourning that nice feeling of not worrying about income for a while. That seems to last 7 months of these 9-month contracts!

Muted Happy Dance

Yes, oh yes, it was a good evening last night. I got teary a couple of times, and was incredibly proud of the people in a few states, like Virginia, Florida and North Carolina. I have to say it feels weird being on the "winning" side of anything. It just doesn't happen to me often. But, I do have hope. There is a LOT to be done to get our little world back on an even keel, but at least this country will have a calm, rational and intelligent leader for once. He can't fix everything, but at least a crazed hidden agenda will be less likely to hurt things. And I am no longer embarrassed at the leader my country has selected. That is like a weight lifted off me. I can hold my head up around my friends in other countries again!

I hope the people who are upset that they lost feel better soon and can see that we are wanting to listen to them, work with them, and be a whole society. We are tired of "us vs. them," which was so much the way their candidate phrased things. I was saddened when someone I know posted on their Facebook status: "[name] is depressed that Americans have voted against capitalism, democracy, life, and the Constitution." Oh my. How in the world can people actually, seriously hold those beliefs? What Americans voted against was people who want to tell you what you can believe, what religion you must have, how you must dress (Must have that flag pin!), and whose sole agenda is profit for multinational corporations with no regard for the country's citizens. Just my opinions, and Vicki said I have a right to express them in my own blog, LOL. (Note that I do think there are rational reasons one could be for the other party, and I respect those.)

But, my happy dance is muted thanks to ALE. I have been told they are trying very hard to keep me and the other contractors in this department. But, if they can't, I'll be out of work AGAIN the week before the wedding. GREAT timing, huh. But, I will work hard and hope for the best. Some day, things WILL go right in the job department! Everything else is just fine.

It doesn't last long

Kids, this is getting old. The economy is bad so it looks like ALE may dump all the contractors, and that is according to the Big Cheese. Please, please send vibes that it isn't true and that maybe I can stick around. I hardly have words to express how awfully tired I am of looking for work. And this is just not the time for it. I keep feeling like I jinx myself by openly declaring that things might be OK for a while, like I did in here yesterday. So tired of this. Just so tired.

Fall Is Coming

It's in the air--fall is coming. It hasn't been over a hundred degrees in a couple of weeks, and it's even rained a little bit. The sunflowers we planted in midsummer have started to bloom, to Beccano's delight. And school has started--the first football game is tonight, so get ready for more of my "exciting" high school marching band and football reports.

We had a delicious steak dinner last night (tender and perfectly cooked by Lee), and enjoyed hearing about the kids' classes and school adventures. Nothing made my heart swell more than hearing Tuba Boy wax enthusiastic about how great his English teacher is. I have such wonderful memories of my tanned, wrinkled, chain-smoking 12th grade English teacher, Mrs. Chisholm (or Miz Chiz as we called her). I am hoping Tuba Boy has an opportunity to learn, think and stretch with a supportive mentor like we did.

Everything else is good. My dad called last night, mainly to prepare me for the fact that he might not make it to our wedding. Sigh. Well, there will be someone there, I know, because my sister has already booked a hotel and rental car, and we haven't even sent out invitations yet.

I am going to talk to a guy about a job today, informally. I don't even know if I applied for it, but it sounds like a good match, and I am only looking into really good matches right now--I like where I am fine for now! I just wish it weren't for only 8 more months! Lee has a great interview next week, so my fingers are in perpetual crossed mode for that!

And in other fall events, I enjoyed the convention coverage this week. There sure were some moving speeches and little films. I got weepy a lot. I feel like I fit in as an American after listening to Obama, and I haven't felt that way in a long time. It is like there is a chance the country MIGHT turn into something we could all be proud of, and live comfortably in again. Like maybe I could get insurance, we could get jobs that were stable, and everyone could not be so reliant on foreign oil. It's been a long time since I felt that way. I liked the focus on the positive and the respect shown to the other candidate, even when criticizing him. I don't expect to see much of that next week, but it would be fine with me to be pleasantly surprised by the Republicans engaging in their own convention by focusing on their positives and being respectful in their criticism.

I guess I am allowed to talk about my political views. It is, after all, my blog, right? Bloggers are supposed to talk about their opinions. All views are welcome here, though.

7 Deadly Sins?

Everything's just fine. I enjoyed two days of training, fulfilling my obligation to the nice place I was before going to ALE. I really liked that job a lot--I met some real interesting people there, but I don't know if I could have made it on just 2-4 work days a week. It's pretty tiring to talk for a whole day, especially if you are introverted, but I still liked it. And yesterday, as I was leaving, I saw a fellow bobbing around and aiming his phone in front of himself. It looked odd, so I looked his way as I walked past. He then asked me, "Hey, is this normal?" I looked in front of a wall (which had blocked my view coming out of the building) to see a young armadillo strolling around the building grounds. I guess the guy hadn't lived here long, so he didn't know if you see a lot of them. I told him you didn't usually see them during the day like that, so it is unusual. I tried to get a couple of pictures, but will have to see how they look once I get them off the phone...now it's uploaded and you can see it, too! Anyway, that and Chinese food for dinner were the highlights of my last couple of days! Guess I better fill some space somehow, so...

I saw this meme on someone's blog and decided to fill it in. I realize I am pretty boring in the deadly sin department, after reading over my answers. Since things aren't all that fascinating at home, and Friday's Feast is still MIA, I guess I'll be having to resort to memes for a bit.

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with?

- Executive Director and Board chair of a nonprofit organization. Nothing I can do to remedy the situation.

2. What is your weapon of choice?

- Sarcasm. I have worked for many years to use it less and less.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?

- I do not plan to.

4. How about of the same sex?

-I do not plan to.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?

- Tuba Boy over some teen thing, but it was so long ago I forget what it was.

6. What is your pet peeve?

-Just one?? Friends who dump you and talk about you behind your back.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?

-I find it hard to erase hurt feelings. But I do forgive.

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you’re supposed to do daily that you don’t?

- Clean the house

2. What is the latest you’ve ever woken up?

- Noon as a teen.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?

- I left an event saying I needed to check on Beccano, when really I just wanted to leave a crowd.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?

- No.

6. When was the last time you got in a good workout?

- Last Monday when I walked all over the campus at work to get my name tag and such.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?

- None. I get up when I am awakened.

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?

- Nonfat sugar-free caramel misto.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat??

-White

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event?

- At a choir Christmas party during the really, really bad year. I am not sure if it was 2002 or 2003. I should not have driven home after all that high-quality tequila.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?

- Nope. Eat less, and exercise more.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?

- Not in the past few years. I just diet again for a while when it starts to creep up.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy?

- Spicy then salty.

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought “lunch”?

- I guess not--that idea has never occurred to me.

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?

- No clue, around 50 I guess. I don't do public showers and have not been to a nude beach, so all I have are people I have had sex with and people who changed clothing in front of me.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?

- See above.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite gender during a normal conversation?

Yup. Both. Sometimes women's jiggling can distract anyone.

4. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?

- Yep.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?

- A beautifully tapered back.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?

-Not that I am aware of. I am not sure if I have ever met one.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?

- 3

2. What’s your guilty pleasure store?

- Yarn shop.

3. Would you rather be rich, or famous?

- Rich - because then I could just sit and knit or read all day.

4. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?

-Maybe, if I could knit or write when no one is looking.

5. Have you ever stolen anything?

- Nothing other than accidentally forgetting to pay for something small at the grocery store and finding it sitting in the cart when I got to the car.

6. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?

- Hundreds, not sure how many because I am not in the room with it.

PRIDE

1. What’s one thing you have done that you’re most proud of?

- A website I am no longer doing.

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?

- I would hope the kids, but bet it's the advanced degree.

3. What things would you like to accomplish in your life?

-I'd like to get a knitting book published, I'd like to get work helping others again, and I'd like to be a good life partner

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?

- Especially when it comes to jobs.

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?

- Yes (knitting).

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?

- No need to.

7. What did you do today that you’re proud of?

- Sent supportive email to a few friends.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?

- I'd like some of Diane at the yarn shop's fancy, expensive yarn.

2. Who would you want to go on “Trading Spaces” with?

-Stephanie Kendall, a lady at church who is REALLY good with decor, and no relation to me at all.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?

- I'll stay me.

4. Have you ever been cheated on?

- If so, they have been very discreet.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?

- I wish I had a more athletic build.

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?

- Thick skin--the ability to shrug off insults and unkindnesses.

Income Returns to Our Home

Woo hoo. We have achieved income!

I did a second interview yesterday at lunch, and before I got home, I got offered a contract at good ole ALE, so there will be nine months of fine high income for me, and time for Lee to find a permanent position without too much stress. It is my strong suspicion that I'll like the coworkers and duties a lot--fer sure I will like the 9 mintue commute. I hope his job interview on Monday reaps good rewards--we are thinking VERY positive about it.

In the meantime, I enjoyed teaching MS Outlook 2007 to some nice folks who work for the state yesterday, and I am continuing to teach them an intermediate course today. We are all learning a lot and figuring out interesting uses for the software. I always like it when I get good ideas in a training.

Wow, I feel a lot better to be earning some money and getting out of the house a bit. I am even handling driving down I-35 at rush hour pretty well--it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Ahh, it is so nice to have that weight off my shoulders...again. This time I am thinking it will stick!

Send Vibes!

This is just a quick note to say that Lee scored a "real" interview for a "real" job, one he did the screening for 6 weeks ago. It would be a very interesting position at a wonderful company everyone has heard of and admires, and the offices are only ten minutes away from our house. He'd even get to be working near our old boss at ALE! So, think positive thoughts for him next week. The job would be great for him. And it is a permanent, benefits-laden position.

I think my interview yesterday went well, so I am hoping for some good news on that front. I got 8 contacts on that one, so lots of people thought I was appropriate.

Thank Goodness for Goofy Friends

A, P and S
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Here are some of my lovely yarn shop friends making faces. One is happy her arm isn't being held together by giant steel rods any more. The next is showing her love for knitting magazines and probably laughing really loud. The other, who is only ONE day younger than me, is batting her eyelashes trying to get me to knit her a sweater like my recent red one. She brought me all the yarn for it.

In the other photo (if you do not see it in your feed, go to the actual blog; it will be there) there is my friend who brought me a cheer up card, the one who suggested I add a blue bead to the wedding shawl for something blue (standing), the friend who is happy with her new house and can knit two socks at the same time, and last, our German friend who actually tries to concentrate on knitting at our gatherings. I missed a couple of folks who were also there or came later, but wanted to share all these nice women, a wide variety of ages, stages, and beliefs, who cheer me up every Wednesday. I sure am glad we have our weekly knitting nights!

What else cheers me up? Well, interviews help. I had one yesterday for a place where I'd teach Microsoft Office applications in a classroom setting, 3-4 days a week, at a fairly good rate of pay. I could probably make it on that IF they really came through with that much work. In a little while I have a phone interview for another contract at ALE. And yes, I'd take that. It's 9 months of good pay so I could rest up and keep looking for the ideal thing. Of course, I keep hoping the place I interviewed at week before last will call back, but one thing I have noticed is that if I really like a place and the people, they don't like me. It's fairly consistent so far. Sigh. I really wish I had a job in a small place, with people I know and like, where I could feel like a real contributor and know my work is valued.

But, things are moving on. Tuba Boy's car is fixed, so he will be happy about that. He and his brother have been buying and playing video games, hanging with friends, and in general enjoying summer. Tuba Boy is working a lot, but also getting some down time, which he needs. Tomorrow he gets his senior portraits taken. I am not sure why I thought it was on the day of my last post. I must have meant to say "this week."

Lee still has another week at his job, which is a relief. They tried to cut him off this week, but his boss got him the time. Every penny helps. I know it will all work out, but it sure feels like we are cutting things close. Glad I have my nice, friendly faces at the yarn shop to bring some cheer and remind me everyone's got troubles and triumphs.

Friday's Feast

More good job news. I sent in a resume yesterday and heard back immediately from a recruiter, who set up a time to come in and talk to him today. He asked me to write up a paragraph on my instructional design credentials, which I did this morning. A half hour after I sent that off, he called back and said the company wanted to do a phone screening at 5 this afternoon! That's quick action. I'll have to remind myself of all those instructional design terms, like "Bloom's Taxonomy" and such, then I will be ready for that. It feels a bit better to have multiple possibilities.

To relax, Lee and I had a nice Mexican dinner at our favorite nearby restaurant, with our favorite amusing server to entertain us. Then we took a drive through the countryside (hey, it's cheaper than a movie, though barely). We checked out his old house and were really pleased to see what a nice job the new owner has done renovating it. I am glad to see the house living up to its potential. Now it can gather happy memories. We also drove by a lake and saw some interesting old houses and churches.

Plus, I heard from the kids and they are back in the States. Soon they'll be at their dad's house, and Sunday back here!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: Do you consider yourself to be an optimist or a pessimist?

I'd prefer the term "realist." I like to look on the best side of things, but if I have evidence to the contrary, I don't like sugar-coating things. As someone who's doing a pretty good job not letting other people's opinions of me get me down, I think I can be optimistic when justified!

Soup: What is your favorite color of ink to write with?

PURPLE.

Salad: How often do you get a manicure or pedicure? Do you do them yourself or go to a salon and pay for them?

I've only had my nails done professionally 3 times. I enjoyed it, but since I have been painting my own very long nails since I was 14, I feel like I do a fine job myself. Since having the kids I haven't been painting my nails as consistently as I used to, but in the summer I do keep the toenails some fun color, and I'd say about 1 week out of 6 my fingernails are painted. They look OK bare since they aren't stained from polish like they used to be. Mostly I spend a lot of time trying to keep them as short as is fashionable now. My nails like to grow and grow. As a teen they were really long and many colors, often all at once.

Main Course: Have you ever won anything online? If so, what was it?

I was the first person to finish a sock in a knitalong, and I won a skein of sock yarn. Ironically the lady sent me yarn in the same color I made the first pair in.

Dessert: In which room in your house do you keep your home computer?

LOL, that's a good one. The desktop model is in my office. The laptop roves, though is usually in the media room (where I am now). The kids' computers tend to be in their rooms, though Beccano has a laptop that moves. Lee has his desktop in the office, plus one that runs his MP3 collection through the sound system. He has some number of laptops, too.

O-bla-di-o-bla-dah

Front Yard Edging
Originally uploaded by sunasak

Yeah, life goes on. I am actually recovering a bit from some of the stress of recent months. That is such a relief. I'm getting a whole lot of knitting done, too. And looking for work like crazy.

The good news is some of that is paying off. I am up for a couple more contract positions, and have an actual interview for a REAL job I applied for, but not until next Tuesday. I don't know what to do about that--it sounds like a GREAT place, but I am so worried about income that I might have to accept a contract position before those interviews are over. And I am not going to dump a contract in favor of a job with benefits again, after that last experience. In any case, it feels good to have some action going on.

Speaking of action, Lee has finished the project pictured here in an almost-finished state. This bed in front of the house was getting overgrown, so he expanded it a foot at least on all sides and has put more of those wonderful landscape rocks around it. With the flowers added, our front yard looks wonderful (of course, no one can see it due to Tuba Boy's car blocking the view). Other than the annuals, the entire bed is native plants, so it is very little work. Now our front yard looks very coordinated and well-kept. I sure am grateful to Lee for all his very hard work on this.

The next project on the list is tree trimming. Lee got a little electric chain saw and I can't WAIT until we get ahold of a big ladder so he can trim limbs away from our chimney. You see, the wind has blown for three days straight. Up to 40 mph winds yesterday. The giant tree in the back yard has grown up and around the chimney this year. Limbs bang and bang. Plus, they are banging on windows on all sides of the house. Time for another trimming. Actually, once things settle, we will have fewer trees. I don't want the house damaged. And I need to sleep. We tried sleeping in the guest room last night, but it had its own banging limb.

I love trees, though. I hate to cut them down.

We are taking things very easy right now. With no kids around, we are eating inexpensively and with the notable exception of me spending money at a yarn shop on Wednesday, we not doing much, to conserve money.

Well, friends, I thought I had all sorts of blog fodder, but I feel so out of it that all I can do is paste in Friday's Feast, which is back from vacation, anyway. Please send supportive comments and/or emails. I will appreciate them.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?

Because I drink so slowly, ice tends to water my soda down, and pouring diminishes the bubbles. So, I guess I prefer it from a bottle or can. I am not really particular about it, though.

Soup: What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?

The Daily Show and Colbert Report. Actually, I used to stay up and watch Craig Ferguson, too, but Lee is already grumpy that I like to watch the first two, so I have given up on that. When I had to get up before 6, of course, I could not manage that latest one, anyway.

Salad: Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.

Ravelry, the knitting online community. They have done a great job with that.

Main Course: Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?

Heavens yes. I'd do it just to have three days off, so I'd have time to go to stores that are only open during "business hours" every so often.

Dessert: If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?

SuperSuna. Duh.

Like Any Other Day

Garden Mushroom
Originally uploaded by sunasak

A weekend's like any other day when there's no job to go to. On the other hand, there are endless possibilities. And you can always find beauty in unlikely situations, much like the little mushroom here, peeking up between the leaves of our onions. Isn't it beautiful?

I'm feeling like the kiss of death for friends at my jobs. I found out today that the nice friend who helped me move my stuff out of my office got removed from the program he was in, too. At least he can still get a job there, but gee, that's batting .000 for my church friends there. Hope the other two people I know who are still there don't get too close to either of us!

And then, argh, we'd thought things had gotten as bad as possible where I spent the bulk of my working years, but no, telling volunteers they are no longer welcome was not the worst. They also took down a valued resource for thousands of mothers, which had three years of archived material. There was no warning, so mothers couldn't save their personal information, stories, and advice. Years of FAQs, quality help for new mothers and organizational information was also wiped out with no warning.

Wow, when they don't like former co-workers of mine, they really go all out! The woman I worked so hard with to set the system up in the first place was also banned from it. It was a BIG mistake to punish someone so dedicated to the mission of the organization and to the mothers she helped. Her fans are legion. While the decision-makers can't fire innocent mothers and babies for expressing their outrage at this, and they have sure guaranteed that thousands of women will find other organizations to join and donate to, and that they will tell all their friends what happened. What a weird world.

I still truly admire most of the women I used to work with in my department. They focused so hard on helping others. They took a lot of unkind treatment and still stuck around because they felt that what they were doing was important. However, other than one exception, they got no rewards for their work, just pressure to go away.

So, let's forget about that. I keep TRYING to. Instead let's laugh at how my weekend started. With dropping the boys off at the airport to go see their dad then head off to Ireland. As Lee and i were driving away from the airport, the phone rang. Beccano had forgotten his passport. The one he kept in plain sight so he'd be sure to not forget it. Thank goodness they don't leave for Ireland until Tuesday, so I was able to send it to him overnight, at great expense. Sigh. I filled the rest of the day with visiting yarn shop friends (hi Lisa!), going to the far south yarn shop in town with Suzanne and meeting an Internet celebrity (see the knitting blog for more on that), then having a lovely Italian dinner with my beloved. That long day wiped me out!

Today Lee picked these beautiful flowers in the garden and displayed them in the media room for me. That was so sweet. He's working on more flower bed stuff now. We sang the hardest choir song ever today, with all sorts of not-well-practiced people, but it came off! The cello player who was brought in did a great job, too. It ended up being pretty fun, even though I forgot to bring flowers for the altar in honor of Beccano's birthday--I'll have to tell him he is not the only forgetful person in the family! I picked some wildflowers, though, and they looked lovely.

Keep sending job vibes. I appreciate them.

The Sweetest 15-Year-Old, etc.

Ski Beanie
Originally uploaded by sunasak

I know I have put lots of pix of Beccano in here lately, but hey, he's around all the time. Today I need to honor the boy, though, because it's his 15th birthday. And no matter how down I feel about other stuff, having him around makes me happy. How could you not love someone who tries to sabotage your photo of his new hat by hiding crossed eyes under the bangs he is trying to grow out?

We'd hoped to give him a good start on a new guitar fund (he wants a pretty nice one), but the latest job loss for me means I can't do it quite yet. I did make him the hat in the picture, which is made from a cotton/cashmere blend, so it's a NICE hat. I just wish he didn't want me to always knit in BLACK. I ordered him some heavy metal t-shirts and what he calls an "Emo Bag" (a messenger bag), so he will have some gifts, plus the ice cream cake already in the freezer. He asked for a Chinese dinner, which is easily accomplished, so he should have a good birthday. I hope he has some fun in addition to his finals today at school!

It's funny, when Tuba Boy turned 15, I really didn't see him being ready to learn to drive, but Beccano I think is ready. He doesn't want a car, though, unless he can get a VW Vanagon and convert it to biodeisel, which he would make himself. He has already priced all these things. Dream on, Beccano.

There isn't much news here. I have applied to about 15 jobs, and found that I had left an 8 off of 2008 in my resume. Great. I did manage to repost it most places, but SHEESH.

Yesterday I didn't feel too hot, so I spent most of the day at the yarn shop, which was pleasant, though I got some pretty awful anxiety symptoms a couple of times (I am still doing better than usual, just, heck, sometimes the jobless thing gets scary). I enjoy talking to the staff and the Chicks with Sticks when they arrive. Some of them are so incredibly kind to me. It makes me feel like I CAN be part of a group and respected and liked, even if I'll never be a "cool kid." I just want to be part of a group, like I used to be in the Dysfunctional Nonprofit Organization.

Speaking of which, I need to send all my best wishes to my friends and former employees there, if they are reading. For them, let me share the quote on my May calendar page from the job that ended in November (I plan to hang it on the wall):

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful." --Joshua J. Marine

I wish us all meaningful lives.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BECCANO!!

Weekend Project

Well, my personal weekend project is to keep my spirits up and knit a lot. But Lee has done some great stuff around the yard. On Saturday, he built this really nifty compost sifter. You can see lots more photos and details on Lee's blog, if you are interested in how it works and how it was made. I am just happy to have compost at all, since the dirt here in the hill country of Texas is pretty useless for anything other than native plants, and even the natives seem to like some compost. This screen thing sifts out big pieces and just leaves nice, small compost to spread around the yard. He made it almost entirely out of scrap wood, too, so we are being frugal! That man is "handy," that's for sure!

We are doing OK garden-wise, too. A few plants have bit the dust, due to already getting pretty hot, or in a couple of cases, too much water in a planter we didn't realize had no drainage hole. But some things are beautiful, like this, um, whatever it is that lived over winter and has come back in triumphant splendor! It makes me happy to see all the flowers and plants.

I am doing real well most of the time, and thank everyone for their thoughts. I dread tomorrow, when have to go back in to the Tower of Doom and get my stuff, but I have thought it through and think I can get it done fairly quickly and efficiently. And if I am lucky, my friend may help me take my stuff to my car. Then I will be able to move forward and find a better place for me where my personality isn't attacked and snap judgments aren't held against me. I don't need a perfect spot, just one with reasonable expectations (like you don't have to LIE to people) and a modicum of congeniality.

The Theme of This Blog

There's no Friday's Feast this week, which is good, because on Friday I was not really up to blathering about random cute things about myself. I wasn't feeling very cute. Mostly I was feeling pissed off, defeated, and relieved, all at once.

Because yes, I did discover the theme of this blog. It is "Suna's Job Ends and She Has to Go Find Another One." For the FOURTH time since May 2006, I am job-free. Yep, all that hard work, extra friendliness, redoubled effort and honest helping of others was not enough. I just don't "fit in with the team." Well, that's for damned sure. Other than one notable exception, that was the most cliquish, unfriendly and aloof bunch of humans I ever ran into. I didn't stand a chance, but I did valiantly send out friendly, approachable and kind vibes and pour all the energy I had into doing good work. And they acknowledged that my work was good, though they didn't like how I answered the phone. Well, the way I answered the phone made the people on the other end happy, and fit with all the skills I wrote up at Dell and was taught as the nonprofit organization. I'm not the problem.

Y'all know that generally I'll accept blame for anything rather than blame anyone else, and that I beat myself up to a fault. This time, nope. I am glad to get out of that extremely toxic environment and have a chance to start again. I already have some good recommendations, thanks to church friends (one of whom, Jim, kindly rode the bus home with me and was incredibly supportive--really got me through that last bus ride home) and I even know of some contracts coming open.

We will be OK, even though the fact that Lee's contract ends in a few weeks is a bit scary. We are more prepared this time. I just regret losing my insurance before I even got to use it, and wish I hadn't bought a new Blackberry Pearl phone this week. Sigh. It's so funny, I had a GREAT week at work last week. I was really feeling like I was getting the hang of things, people were being a bit nicer, and I was cheerful without forcing myself to act that way. I am beginning to learn to treasure moments of happiness. They are fleeting.

I hate to ask for job search vibes AGAIN, but it looks like I need to. Great timing, right in the middle of the gigantic gas price surge and the Republicans' nice new recession.