Stop It, Suna

I can sure set myself off into a downward spiral of introspection easily. I guess that's why I try to keep myself busy--otherwise I start over-analyzing my shortcomings. Just seeing the kids' dad reminded me how little he thinks of me, and then I kept feeling like I wasn't living up to anyone's expectations all day, and I got worse and worse. Also, I think I just don't get enough introvert time these days, so I got some last night. Trying for that now, too.

So, what is good? NJ is surely a sweet and loyal friend, and I appreciate anyone who defends me on my blog, like she and Sandy have done. Awwww. I guess I'll keep them, both. Besides, NJ also loves Bejeweled.

Also good. I finished a frothy pink scarf as a surprise gift for a coworker (none of them read this, far as I know, so I think the secret's safe, and if not, hi coworkers). I put a ruffled border on it, and it is very girly, for its very girly/jock/brain recipient (she's an over-achiever like me, and in the first graduating class of the school my kids go to!). I also got my felted ornaments to felt, and delivered them to the yarn store, and finished the cutest little sweater for a store sample and class to teach. I forgot how much fun top-down raglan sweaters were until I did this one--no seams and just one needle in each size, because I magic looped it. The yarn is mostly acrylic, but a lot of fun. I think it's Spilto or something like that (I don't have a label). There are little dots of yarn that fall off and onto your pants, but otherwise it's nice, and the colors are intersting blends. Another nice shade has oranges and yellows and tans.

Sorta sad. I had to go get all the scarves that were left at the store in south Austin that was supposedly selling them for me. They sure weren't selling. It's no problem for me--I can sell them at Ye Olde Spiritual Community Yule Fest or at some other similar event and end up with some good holiday cash. But I feel sorry for the nice folks who ran the shop, because they had a good idea, to support local artists. I just think it was hard to SEE the place, back off the road like it was. And the prices were high. Because I was already in South Austin, I dropped by The Other Yarn Store and got some laceweight yarn I did not need, but will enjoy working with. Some suri alpaca in muted colors that will make yet another nice shawl. Like I need another shawl.

I have to pay bills, take the kids to the dentist, and do other "fun" stuff tomorrow. But I hope work is fun and that we get new folks, and the old folks come back (worried about a coworker with a hurt knee).

There, I posted and did not dwell on how unfriendly I can be, how intolerant I am of some annoying habits, and how weird it is that I want to be social and have friends, but need to be alone so much. Oh well, we're all weird.

translation: the coworker mentioned above is Genia.

Comments

Jody said...
All a bunch of weirdos, we are. yup yup.I've had some good introverted time this weekend and I needed it, so you certainly aren't alone on that front. Friday night & Saturday night by myself and most of today.I hope you feel spunkier soon!
Sunday, September 24, 2006 8:58:00 PM

sandy said...
Ya know, just becasue your ex used you as a "trial wife" without really thinking about what he wanted in a life partner in no way makes you a terrible person, and neither does needing downtime ALONE. Just a kick from your fellow in weirdness.
Sunday, September 24, 2006 10:18:00 PM

Christine (woogies@yahoo.com) said...
Don't feel bad. I am needing tons of down time it is one of the many reason we do not have kids. Monday I go no where and basically talk to no one. Tuesday I usually have an appointment then spend the day by myself. I am trying not stay at home all day on fridays. I usually goto the grocery and clean up the house. Now I try to let myself goto the yarn shop. I volunteer on Wed & Thur morning thru early afternoon. Remember hub does not come home betw 6:30-7:30 then he is programming, plays PS2, read groups things on the internet. I usually hope he will watch tv with me. Weekends we try to geocaching in morning then hubby spends time programming and playing PS2.Struggle between needing downtime and being extremely lonely.It is a balancing act. I know a person who wanted 30 min free from the kiddios had a timer and if they came in during the 30 min he would restart the timer.Even my mom had downtime rules. Read the newspaper and watch the nightly news needed to be interupt free.Take CareSmile :P
Monday, September 25, 2006 3:32:00 PM

Suna said...
Thanks for all the support, friends.
Monday, September 25, 2006 6:21:00 PM

Anonymous said...
Hang in there SAK, and be proud of yourself that you recognize your need for down time. I am constantly amazed at your productivity! I have been knitting the same sock for two years and could never make something good enough to sell! Revel in your down time.
Thursday, September 28, 2006 12:48:00 PM