I was uploading pictures to Flickr, because I paid money and now have more ability to share stuff. I found this sad little image from October 2001. The ex took it. I am wwaring a lovely old prom dress--the only prom or other fancy dress I ever wore in my life, since Corey didn't believe in the prom, and my weddings were both suit-wearing events.
In this picture, he had just told me he didn't want to be married any more, but would hang around a while until I was feeling better. It was at a neighborhood Halloween event. Sigh. He chatted and was happy and friendly with everyone--I hardly recognized him. No wonder the neighbors really haven't talked much to me. (Interestingly, Jeff also chats away to the neighbors, most of whom turn away when they see me!)
So here I am, looking like a fairy princess, in the sunset. It was the sunset of my dream of a "normal" family, which had all been some sort of fictional dream anyway. But, here, I know it.
In happier news, it has been a fine weekend. We had friends over last night and ate food and enjoyed the back yard. It was an interesting combination of people (Lee's tarot-ish friends, plus Work Boy and spouse) but it all worked out fine! I made the best ricotta cheese bread ever,* too--this time it was tall enough--I added more yeast. It is nice to be able to be social, and I know Lee is really enjoying the opportunity. He really couldn't before--no one apparently ever visited him before we were together.
In other happy news, my knitting store friend Cheri is in town, and I hope to see her while she is here. It is so interesting--we haven't talked since she moved away, but because we read each other's blogs, we only need to catch up on little details on each other's lives, not big stuff.
I had great fun with Beccano this weekend, too, just sitting and talking a lot all weekend. He helped me a lot, and baked a cake for the party, which had its misadventures (misread how much water to put in) but it came out fine!
Today we survived the poetry service at Ye Olde Spiritual Community (actually grudgingly enjoyed a couple of poems), enjoyed my friends there, and had fun at a Maypole ceremony on the labyrinth, with Older Boy grudgingly participated in (he's been acting "teenish"). The rest of the day we did various chores, painting, sanding and trying to finish my loud and garish sweater. It was a very, very nice day.
I have come so far since the day in this photo. I may not be tan and fit like I was here, but I am so much happier, and finally in a relationship with someone suitable to me who loves me as much as I love him. I have a future, not a fairy tale past. And I have Lee and the boys to share that wonderful future with. My wish came true!
* Des asked for the bread recipe, and I want to link to the book it came from, The Bread Mahine Cookbook, by Donna Rathmell German. This book is just wonderful, and she has 4 others, too, from Nitty Gritty Press, those small cookbooks. There are so many interesting recipes in this one that I'd say get the book, not just the recipe! Lots of interesting whole grain breads. Also, the book was revised in 2005, I found out, so I will get a new copy now--apparently some recipes were improved (I did have one or two not work for me).