There's More to Life Than Knitting!

Join Suna as she stops knitting long enough to ponder her life, share her joys and concerns, and comment on the goings on in the world.
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Thursday, September 27, 2007


Beccano and His Cymbal
Originally uploaded by sunasak
There you see an example of my first priority. My family. Isn't Beccano beautiful, concentrating on his cymbal? And isn't the swirly cymbal cool? This photo was at last Friday's football game at halftime, and was taken by a band parent.

When I get upset at how the world treats me, I need to remember to make decisions based on what is best for the kids and Lee, and not by my own issues. For example, I was pretty extra peeved to find out that Lee still wasn't allowed to chaperone on band trips (I figured it out when I looked at the list of people and saw vacancies but no him), but the committee person would not tell me why. So, I called the band director.

What he had not made clear to me was that he had decided to stick with the "you must be a biological parent or married to one" rule until a band parent meeting where they would bring up the concept of getting background checks, or come up with a guideline to stick with. I pointed out that this made it look like we were not welcome as a family, and such. I suggested that a less weird thing to do would be to stay with current policy (anyone is welcome as long as they are adults) until the new policy is established. As far as I can tell he agreed, and said he would tell the chaperone chairs that.

Then he suggested I not go to the band parent meeting so they could talk about me/us and I wouldn't be there. I can only hope they don't use my name. I guess they don't do that. I hope not. Ick.

We'll see how this turns out. I just about decided to quit volunteering, since it seems to be bringing me the same angst church volunteering, elementary school volunteering, and my work with the Dysfunctional Nonprofit Organization did. Maybe it's ME that is the problem and I should not try to help.

But, thinking back to my priorities, the people who would be hurt if I just quit would be the kids in the band, my own children, and Lee, who wants to do normal parenting activities he missed out on with his stepson. So, I will swallow my pride and show up tomorrow and ride the bus. At least it's a home game and Lee won't have to drive miles to get to it.

I hope my priorities are right. I skipped the performance by the new chorus (I wasn't in it) and church choir rehearsal to go to Parent Night at the school. I ended up going to all of Beccano's teachers (only the art teacher seemed thrilled to see me) except band, since I knew those guys. So I only got to see two of Tuba Boy's teachers (I already know his band and debate ones, so that means I really only missed three). Tuba Boy's science teacher went on and on about how much she enjoys his participation and good question asking. It helped to hear something positive.

That school is big. Running all over it made me pretty sore!

Lee couldn't come last night because he had to take Beccano to see his old middle school counselor in private practice. She is going to try to help with his memory issues. I hope so. It's money I don't really have to spare. I sure am glad I have Lee around to help!

It was all worth it to come home to a cheerful greeting from Tuba Boy and Debate Friend enjoying the new Halo 3 Beccano bought, then Beccano having finished his homework, filling me in on all his daily details, happy and relaxed. And Lee making me a nice dinner and sitting with me as I wound down. These guys make it all worthwhile, and no wonder they are my priorities.


Lee said...

I agree with you. The priority is the kids. We shouldn't let our conflicts with the Mundanes affect their enjoyment of their activities. (But I might have a T-shirt made that says I'm a Harper Valley Band Parent.)

Stephanie said...

I'll chip in for the shirt!

What a great picture of your beautiful boy. My beautiful boy starts his first instrumental music class at school Monday and all this marching band talk is inspiring. We'll see how day one of the trumpet goes....

nyjlm said...

wow, that cymbal is so cool!

I would have felt weird too if the guy told me not to attend the meeting so they could talk about it without me there. Very bizarre.

I hope it works out. No matter what, you and Lee are doing the right thing for supporting the kids even if there are dumb rules.

Des said...

He asked you not to come to the Band Parent Meeting? Are you kidding? I think I would have to go and take my minister with me to explain domestic partnerships. Of course I am unstable, so I might do something violent with a slide trombone. Unbelievable! Hang in there...

Anonymous said...

Sniff. What a stunning picture! Of course, Beccano is always stunning.

I'll chip in for the shirt, too. Would be too cute.

Nancy Jo, who can't seem to get logged back in to her Blogger/Google account tonight . . .