Priorities

Beccano and His Cymbal
Originally uploaded by sunasak

There you see an example of my first priority. My family. Isn't Beccano beautiful, concentrating on his cymbal? And isn't the swirly cymbal cool? This photo was at last Friday's football game at halftime, and was taken by a band parent.

When I get upset at how the world treats me, I need to remember to make decisions based on what is best for the kids and Lee, and not by my own issues. For example, I was pretty extra peeved to find out that Lee still wasn't allowed to chaperone on band trips (I figured it out when I looked at the list of people and saw vacancies but no him), but the committee person would not tell me why. So, I called the band director.

What he had not made clear to me was that he had decided to stick with the "you must be a biological parent or married to one" rule until a band parent meeting where they would bring up the concept of getting background checks, or come up with a guideline to stick with. I pointed out that this made it look like we were not welcome as a family, and such. I suggested that a less weird thing to do would be to stay with current policy (anyone is welcome as long as they are adults) until the new policy is established. As far as I can tell he agreed, and said he would tell the chaperone chairs that.

Then he suggested I not go to the band parent meeting so they could talk about me/us and I wouldn't be there. I can only hope they don't use my name. I guess they don't do that. I hope not. Ick.

We'll see how this turns out. I just about decided to quit volunteering, since it seems to be bringing me the same angst church volunteering, elementary school volunteering, and my work with the Dysfunctional Nonprofit Organization did. Maybe it's ME that is the problem and I should not try to help.

But, thinking back to my priorities, the people who would be hurt if I just quit would be the kids in the band, my own children, and Lee, who wants to do normal parenting activities he missed out on with his stepson. So, I will swallow my pride and show up tomorrow and ride the bus. At least it's a home game and Lee won't have to drive miles to get to it.

I hope my priorities are right. I skipped the performance by the new chorus (I wasn't in it) and church choir rehearsal to go to Parent Night at the school. I ended up going to all of Beccano's teachers (only the art teacher seemed thrilled to see me) except band, since I knew those guys. So I only got to see two of Tuba Boy's teachers (I already know his band and debate ones, so that means I really only missed three). Tuba Boy's science teacher went on and on about how much she enjoys his participation and good question asking. It helped to hear something positive.

That school is big. Running all over it made me pretty sore!

Lee couldn't come last night because he had to take Beccano to see his old middle school counselor in private practice. She is going to try to help with his memory issues. I hope so. It's money I don't really have to spare. I sure am glad I have Lee around to help!

It was all worth it to come home to a cheerful greeting from Tuba Boy and Debate Friend enjoying the new Halo 3 Beccano bought, then Beccano having finished his homework, filling me in on all his daily details, happy and relaxed. And Lee making me a nice dinner and sitting with me as I wound down. These guys make it all worthwhile, and no wonder they are my priorities.